Containment What will happen when Barb dies?

[Male Idiot]

Age alone is not an achievement. Better people than her do something with the time they are given, but she's just one malfunctioning individual in a very cursed bloodline which ultimately resulted in Chris and subsequently Chris parking his duck in her dusty love pond. That is all she has achieved. So, to answer your question: Because that is the only thing of note she ever did.

She also sired a great film critic.

If she even has one. Worst case scenario is that she dies and nobody claims the body, the county or state will cremate her, and her remains sit on a shelf for x amount of years. If nobody claims them, she gets dumped in a mass grave with the rest of the unclaimed from that year. (Virginia might do it differently but still)

Bob paid for her funeral during his lifetime already. Her spot next to him is reserved, so she will end up there somehow.

Bob gets no rest, she is golddigger extraordinaire.

As far as I know, he didn't, Chris will go to the landfill or something.

He will go to ebay I bet. Epic ween.

No he'd cum into the ashes till there was a putty like substance he would try and form into some form of Cummonculous and try and fuck that.

That made my day. I bow to your gross imagination.

Also imagine the Gunt taking him in, locking him in a shed with a webcam and computer in a room. He gets MLP toys if he goes on the Killstream.

 

[Instant_Pot_User]

Also imagine the Gunt taking him in, locking him in a shed with a webcam and computer in a room. He gets MLP toys if he goes on the Killstream.

Don’t give him ideas

 

[CWCissey]

RIP Barb.

 

[A-№1]

Bob paid for her funeral during his lifetime already. Her spot next to him is reserved, so she will end up there somehow.

That assumes the funeral home doesn't conveniently "forget" that contract, leave Barb for the state to deal with, and keep the cash.

 

[TayandYou]

Never underestimate the stupidity of weens. There is at least one thinking, I can change him.

I don't know about that, even Fiona was put off by the motherfucking arc, and she was the epitome of "I can fix him"

Chris may have finally crossed the line into full blown horrorcow and burned all his bridges.

That assumes the funeral home doesn't conveniently "forget" that contract, leave Barb for the state to deal with, and keep the cash.

They might try that if Chris is in jail/hospital or just too stupid to enforce the contract, unless somebody else is aware of that arrangement. Maybe aunt Harriet?

 

[AnOminous]

That assumes the funeral home doesn't conveniently "forget" that contract, leave Barb for the state to deal with, and keep the cash.

This is a pretty old cemetery. Companies that did that wouldn't last long. What they're more famous for is taking advantage of you by upselling you with guilt and other sleazy tactics. Chris would be immune to that unless they had a vault made of Legos or something.

They might try that if Chris is in jail/hospital or just too stupid to enforce the contract, unless somebody else is aware of that arrangement. Maybe aunt Harriet?

Holy shit, they already have the memorial carved and the space there, all they have to do is ash the bitch and put her in. Why would they wreck their whole reputation over that?

 

[King Kiwi]

Barb is dead. I'm sorry.

Of course the rumors may have been exaggerated.

 

[A-№1]

They might try that

Try it? Funeral companies do this shit all the time. It is a VERY sleazy industry.

if Chris is in jail/hospital or just too stupid to enforce the contract,

This is Chris you're talking about. Likely he is completely unaware, and couldn't be bothered even is he was.

Maybe aunt Harriet?

Only if she's aware of the contract. I'm not sure either she or Tom had much to do with Bob's funeral, and unless they are somehow aware of the arrangements already made for Barb, the funeral home is very unlikely to tell them. And even if they do, they WILL try to tack on unnecessary add-ons for additional fees. and that's assuming they go to the same funeral home. Whatever service they use may itself not be aware of the existing arrangements (or care).

Used car dealerships have more integrity than most funeral companies.

This is a pretty old cemetery.

I'm talking about the undertaker, not the cemetery. Cemeteries stick around, but undertakers can be very fly-by-night.

Holy shit, they already have the memorial carved and the space there

Walk around a cemetery some time and you'll see hundreds of unused reserved spaces like that.

Why would they wreck their whole reputation over that?

Reputation isn't so important to an industry that very definitely doesn't rely on repeat customers. And when they get caught, they can always cry: "Oops! Clerical error." and cut a refund check.

Nine times out of ten, they don't have to cut that check.

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Has anyone here ever stopped and truly thought about what would die if Barb happens?

 

[Jason Wynn]

Has anyone here ever stopped and truly thought about what would die if Barb happens?

Maybe Barb is the lynchpin holding all the other dimensions together. Once she dies, everything comes tumbling down

 

[RomanesEuntDomus]

Maybe Barb is the lynchpin holding all the other dimensions together. Once she dies, everything comes tumbling down

At least in Chris' perception, everything will fall apart.

 

[A-№1]

Has anyone here ever stopped and truly thought about what would die if Barb happens?

I'm pretty sure Barb is a different episode of The Twilight Zone.

 

[Male Idiot]

At least in Chris' perception, everything will fall apart.

Was he ever able to fix up Officer Nasty? This is relavant as Barbie chan is her successor.

 

[Fapcop]

Try it? Funeral companies do this shit all the time. It is a VERY sleazy industry.

Reputation isn't so important to an industry that very definitely doesn't rely on repeat customers. And when they get caught, they can always cry: "Oops! Clerical error." and cut a refund check.

Nine times out of ten, they don't have to cut that check.

Considering Barb’s lifelong career of “wheeling n’ dealing”, retail fraud and various other Redneck variations on white collar crimes, I’d find it very appropriate, and amusing if dead Barbie-Chan got ripped off herself.

I’d feel sympathy for the old lumberjack, if not for the fact that Chris’s antics over the years has meant that he has already spun himself halfway to China.

Also: The bitch cucked him with his own son. Bob deserves better than spend eternity next to her ashes.

 

[AnOminous]

Considering Barb’s lifelong career of “wheeling n’ dealing”, retail fraud and various other Redneck variations on white collar crimes, I’d find it very appropriate, and amusing if dead Barbie-Chan got ripped off herself.

I’d feel sympathy for the old lumberjack, if not for the fact that Chris’s antics over the years has meant that he has already spun himself halfway to China.

Also: The bitch cucked him with his own son. Bob deserves better than spend eternity next to her ashes.

There's just absolutely no benefit in for no reason at all refusing to put some ashes in an urn with a stone next to it that is already carved and just needs the last two digits on the date.

 

[Cybertonia]

Maybe Barb is the lynchpin holding all the other dimensions together. Once she dies, everything comes tumbling down

>barb dies
>merge goes in reverse
>chris is successfully trolled again

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

Was he ever able to fix up Officer Nasty? This is relavant as Barbie chan is her successor.

If memory serves me right, he had like 2 Officer Nasties, then Kimmy (of the "For Julie's Eyes Only" fame), then a Kitsune body pillow around that Fat fetishist Troll/Doopie Do-Over Saga...and from my recollection from the CWCKI.
Was one of those body pillows destroyed by fire or just those plush breasts?

 

[A-№1]

I’d find it very appropriate, and amusing if dead Barbie-Chan got ripped off herself.

Technically it's Bob who would be ripped off, since he's the one who paid in advance for Barb's arrangements. No clue why he did it, though. I'd have thought he'd want to be as far away from Barb as possible once he finally escaped her.

I’d feel sympathy for the old lumberjack,

I've said it before: Don't feel sorry for Bob. He's safe now. Chris and Barb can't hurt him any more.

There's just absolutely no benefit in for no reason at all refusing to put some ashes in an urn with a stone next to it that is already carved and just needs the last two digits on the date.

Oh they won't refuse. They'll just try to get paid for it twice. That's the benefit they're after.

 

[AnOminous]

Technically it's Bob who would be ripped off, since he's the one who paid in advance for Barb's arrangements. No clue why he did it, though. I'd have thought he'd want to be as far away from Barb as possible once he finally escaped her.



I've said it before: Don't feel sorry for Bob. He's safe now. Chris and Barb can't hurt him any more.




Oh they won't refuse. They'll just try to get paid for it twice. That's the benefit they're after.

Yeah but they'll move on when either Chris is an obvious sped who has no money or Barb's relatives are lol no. Upselling is a constant in that business, not spitefully refusing to deliver what was already paid for.

 

[A-№1]

Upselling is a constant in that business, not spitefully refusing to deliver what was already paid for.

It's not so much upselling as re-selling. To the same customer. I would bet anything that when Tom and Harriet show up (assuming they even know which funeral home to go to), the funeral home won't mention at all the pre-paid arrangements. They will have conveniently "forgotten". It will be up to Tom and Harriet to remind them, assuming they even know it's already paid for. Oh, and the funeral home will try to sell them on unnecessary extras, such as embalming Barb before cremating her (for reasons).