Tabletop Roleplaying Games (D&D, Pathfinder, CoC, ETC.)

[EnemyStand]

Even playing smart might not save you in CoC, but it'll cut down on the random PC fatalities.

The last time I played CoC, we were investigating a cellar, and a creature came out of thin air and started attacking us. My PC, being an architect, opted to run the fuck away and look for help/weapons upstairs. One of the guys playing, I could see the gears turning in his head as he tried to balance 'yell at the player for being a coward' versus 'you're in Call of Cthulhu, cowardice is sometimes the right option.' Good times.

Yeah, just because you have a badass who can shoot a fly out of the air at 30 clicks doesn't mean that Elder Thing suddenly stops being immune to them. The Innsmouth Brigade can probably be dealt with by applying sufficient violence if it's just one brigade but High Priest of Dagon Benedict Croaker the IIVth? You MIGHT kill him, maybe even escape with your sanity intact if you're really lucky. But the Deep Ones coming out of the sea? RUN

 

[Wormy]

Yeah, just because you have a badass who can shoot a fly out of the air at 30 clicks doesn't mean that Elder Thing suddenly stops being immune to them. The Innsmouth Brigade can probably be dealt with by applying sufficient violence if it's just one brigade but High Priest of Dagon Benedict Croaker the IIVth? You MIGHT kill him, maybe even escape with your sanity intact if you're really lucky. But the Deep Ones coming out of the sea? RUN

Don't discount the mundane authorities.

"Uh huh, sure, you needed all that unregistered weaponry and all those unregistered explosives for...what? Hands on the car, weirdo, you're under arrest."

 

[Judge Dredd]

How do you guys even get irl games nowadays?

They don't. I've come to the conclusion 90% (if not more) of RPG stories are bullshit.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

How do you guys even get irl games nowadays?

Old friends is my answer.

If you're looking for advice, it depends a lot on where you live and getting a group of people you actually want to game with. You're probably going to have to resort to going on Facebook or Reddit because that's where looking for group places exist. If you're lucky you can find a game that has one or two people who aren't complete retards and those are the people you want to stay in contact with after the game inevitably implodes.

After that it will be you plus a couple of other people looking for a game and it might be easier to fill up some GM's game who is running out of options. Play the game, make note of people who aren't retards, wait for the game to implode. Hopefully there's like 3 people who you are fine with playing with and all you have to do is find someone to run something. That person might have to be you at first.

 

[Ghostse]

Don't shower for a week. Put on a Star Wars shirt, cargo shorts, socks & sandals, and sit outside of your FLGS entrance with a Anime girl body pillow propped up beside you and two funkpops set up in front and sort of between you and it. Then also have a beat up, dirty cardboard sign that says "Will DM for friends. Even one shot adventures help. Gygax Bless"

 

[Brain Problems]

Don't shower for a week. Put on a Star Wars shirt, cargo shorts, socks & sandals, and sit outside of your FLGS entrance with a Anime girl body pillow propped up beside you and two funkpops set up in front and sort of between you and it. Then also have a beat up, dirty cardboard sign that says "Will DM for friends. Even one shot adventures help. Gygax Bless"

(Long time player with healthy circle of friends that play all manner of games [including semi-weekly D&D] addresses loner player with no friends, 2022, colourised)

Old friends is my answer.

If you're looking for advice, it depends a lot on where you live and getting a group of people you actually want to game with. You're probably going to have to resort to going on Facebook or Reddit because that's where looking for group places exist. If you're lucky you can find a game that has one or two people who aren't complete retards and those are the people you want to stay in contact with after the game inevitably implodes.

After that it will be you plus a couple of other people looking for a game and it might be easier to fill up some GM's game who is running out of options. Play the game, make note of people who aren't retards, wait for the game to implode. Hopefully there's like 3 people who you are fine with playing with and all you have to do is find someone to run something. That person might have to be you at first.

I have some friends that recently upped and moved way the fuck away to a town full of geriatrics that is slowly turning over as the old guard literally dies out. There is a cafe/bar there that runs D&D and they just signed up on a whim and they are having a blast now. This wouldn't necessarily be something I'm into because I'm allergic to those sorts of events but it seems to work out for a lot of people.

Your advice about Facebook is good too. You'd be surprised what you dig up by just posting something in a local group saying "Hey, looking for people who want to run D&D/tabletop/board games, anyone interested?" You would probably find that there are guys who have been sitting there with their splatbooks and/or homebrew for years without anyone else to play with too and would jump at the chance.

 

[anti SJW]

 

[Wormy]

View attachment 3417722

Damn, and I thought I was hotshit for my group meeting every other week...

 

[40 Year Old Boomer]

View attachment 3417722

I've been in my current group for 6 years and it just passed it's 11th anniversary. There's maybe 2 or 3 times a year when we don't meet because of sundry reasons. It's rare, though.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

I have some friends that recently upped and moved way the fuck away to a town full of geriatrics that is slowly turning over as the old guard literally dies out. There is a cafe/bar there that runs D&D and they just signed up on a whim and they are having a blast now. This wouldn't necessarily be something I'm into because I'm allergic to those sorts of events but it seems to work out for a lot of people.

Man that reminds me of the old guys I used to play with at the local game store. Dude ran pathfinder like it was first edition, made us pay gold to level which makes the party incredibly greedy. His buddy played a dwarf and was this old biker dude with a big beard, just wanted to dwarf it up as hard as possible. We would go out and murder hobgoblins then come back to town and pay jacked up prices for stuff. Dwarf dude was using the crafting rules to make himself a masterwork dwarven war axe and the DM followed the rules religiously, which means it would take a century to create anything.

Spoiler: I mean come on what the fuck?

To determine how much time and money it takes to make an item, follow these steps.

1. Find the item’s price in silver pieces (1 gp = 10 sp).
2. Find the item’s DC from Table: Craft Skills.
3. Pay 1/3 of the item’s price for the raw material cost.
4. Make an appropriate Craft check representing one week’s worth of work. If the check succeeds, multiply your check result by the DC. If the result × the DC equals the price of the item in sp, then you have completed the item. (If the result × the DC equals double or triple the price of the item in silver pieces, then you’ve completed the task in one-half or one-third of the time. Other multiples of the DC reduce the time in the same manner.) If the result × the DC doesn’t equal the price, then it represents the progress you’ve made this week. Record the result and make a new Craft check for the next week. Each week, you make more progress until your total reaches the price of the item in silver pieces.

I played with the group for a little under a year but as a wagie slavie I had to do work things and had to drop game. A couple years later I found out the guy passed away. I always wondered if he ever finished that axe.

 

[Agent of Z.O.G.]

Reading through a random /tg/ thread and someone is talking about Resist and Remember, a game that was part of the Ukraine bundle.
It's a d20 system game where you play Weimar era resistance to the Nazis, acts 1-4 take you through major events and then you die during Kristalnacht. Act 5 takes place in charlottesville and you win if you punch a nazi.

If I remember it in the morning I'll post the content here, or some else can do it if they feel like.

 

[Agent of Z.O.G.]

Preserving the posts here:

Spoiler: Resist & Remember: Weimar - An Anti-Fascist RPG

My friend got a lot of trash from the Ukraine bundle from Humble Bundle. This is the highlight of this collection. Resist and Remember, the game glorifies Weimer Germany, railroads the players and every opportunity to create a misery simulator and was made purely by political buthurt. Of course the very nature of this product is going to get political and the PDF itself is too large to upload but I will post screenshots of some of the best stuff in said book. Politics aside it is a horrible system.

I love how the game outright tells you all your efforts are doomed to failure and later on it will show.

Yeah....paradise.

The game system thinks its a good idea to have rotating GM's and to spoil the last act of the game.

This game deals a lot with role play and making choices where to go to next yet for some reason the main four stats all deal with combat.

What is interesting is for how bad this system is he actually does play other games other then D&D 5E.

Again, he points out here how he really didn't want to add in weapons in the game despite the system supporting combat the most.

Can somebody explain to me how a shovel can deal more damage then a pistol?

The game outright tells the GM to railroad your players.

It would honestly be an interesting concept if your character started off as a Nazi only to learn that what they are doing is wrong. But nope, you are not allowed to explore that character possibility.

I think somebody needs to read a history book.

Thanks for clearing that up.

Here is an encounter table for one of the early acts in the game. Nice to see that the players are unable to get hurt.

All of act one is just about the role play... in a system where the mechanics surround combat.

>No player characters may die or be seriously injured

I love how it mentions not to railroad your players only for the module to say to railroad your players

As a point of reference this is a D20 system. Not only are the checks are high but it encourages the GM to use the lowest possible skill that is applicable.

Ah yes I need a check of 21 on a D20 to being able to smell gas that is about to light a building on fire.

>No one will be able to hear the gunshots over the roaring flames

Hey what if we put fucking MAC THE KNIFE as a character in our super serious Nazi game?

>not a psychopath
>kills for fun
I just don’t even understand what this author is trying to do

Here are his stats. Mind you an elite nazi storm trooper only has +3 to firearms.

I like how he mentions that he is just making shit up now.

>Objective: Survive

Ah yes, don't forget to mention this is all really about having fun.

As I mentioned, this is motivated by political butthurt. We have skipped from the 1930's all the way to present day. We are in the final stretch.

Remember, you are not allowed to play as a pacifist!

Oh hey did you know you can win at table top RPG games? Mind you this is the only act in which it says you can "win".

>How much damage does a tiki torch do? 1d6+2?
+5 to hit and deals 1d4.

Anyway thank you for putting up with all of this garbage. Of course I tried to avoid the more inflammatory and political aspects but the book itself is a real ride.

It's the typical "orange man bad". I'm not going to post it because its just political shit talking for 5+ pages with very little barring on the game and game system itself and its risky enough

>What kind of a mental lapse did this retard have to actually format this sentence next to that picture without snapping back to self-awareness? This whole thing is in such hilariously poor taste that it's starting to read like a /pol/ false flag.
Possibly, it was also a Kickstarter.


There might be a link where you can download this, (be warned it's 200 pages) as well as the rest of the holol bundle which includes some fine products like THIRSTY SWORD LESBIANS (mentioned earlier in this KF thread)

Research on the author by me:

Oy Vey
Also note Crohn's disease is a digestive tract disease, nice to know the author wanted everyone to know that in addition to being a Stolen Valor Jew he was also shitting himself while writing this.

The original anon didn't feel like fitting this in but I think it's important to know this game has a HATE DIE system.
Punching that nazi in Charlottesville might be really hard, actually.

 

[Ghostse]

@Agent of Z.O.G.
You are quote bugged but I want to thank you for an excellent post. I definitely don't need 200 more pages of Orange Man bad, but fucking LOL at this commie faggot worshipping the Weinmar.

There's so much wrong with this system its hard to pick and choose.

I really enjoy the fact this guy can't make up his mind about railroading players.
The really dumb part is you want to have an "inextricable flow of history" thing, you could go on any Wargaming forum and ask the history spergs for ways that history could be minorly altered but still return to accepted events. Hell, have the PCs stop the arson, be arrested by the police who are trying to figure this out, while one of the Nazi's who infiltrated the police department completes the job. You could have a damn flow chart of how History can correct itself in response to the PC's meddling.

Also, like you said, if you really wanted to be subversive you would have the game be about Nazis deciding Hitler is a kook and maybe Socialism isn't the way. Sure there' s a chance you would have an edgelord want to goose step their way through the next decadeish before escaping to Argentina, but lets face it, the only people playing this would be his fellow faggots and commies. Zero chance of anyone wanting to flip the script.

And regarding rape "I didn't write this game to play with myself". Very, very odd choice of words there when discussing how you don't mind rape in your games.

"Ok for Act V, I want to play a black man who talks to the KKK members. Listens calmly their concerns, racial abuse included, and then works to find common ground to humanize myself with them, and realize that we aren't all that different. That might actually get them to examine and change their beliefs, instead me simply of getting a short term endorphin fix from punching someone (and probably injuring my hand) which is only going to make them view us more as the enemy."
No, fuck you, violence only!

 

[40 Year Old Boomer]

@Agent of Z.O.G.
You're a real stormtrooper for going through that mess of a game. In fact, your suffering from having read this in depth has inspired me to force suggest to my group that we play a session of this in the future because I would just love to see what my little band of Holocauster Tycoons would do in this setting.

 

[Agent of Z.O.G.]

@Agent of Z.O.G.
You're a real stormtrooper for going through that mess of a game. In fact, your suffering from having read this in depth has inspired me to force suggest to my group that we play a session of this in the future because I would just love to see what my little band of Holocauster Tycoons would do in this setting.

I only copied the anon's work then searched the author on google.
I wouldn't dare looking through the rest of the crap in the bundle.

 

[Capsaicin Addict]

@Agent of Z.O.G. You are a prince, sir, for wading through that drivel.

The funny thing is that the concept and setting would make for an interesting game, especially if you add it to an existing setting. Call of Cthulhu, for example, or run it with spy game rules like Top Secret. Could you derail the rise of the NSDAP?

Once again, this goes back to my prior comments: there's no wonder in these people's souls. They can't imagine 'changing history'. For all their big talk about 'being the change in the world', they are at heart utterly powerless.

 

[Coelacanth]

Well this week's session officially went off the rails. My DM made the mistake of assuming that the worst case scenario for one of the characters wouldn't happen - she's a vampire and she constantly tries to repress her hunger because she's trying to be a good person. She failed her hunger rolls and ended up massacring a whole bunch of people with several witnesses including the other members of the party. The kicker is that the session literally ended there and I can't wait for next week now.

All of a sudden this game has gotten a whole lot more interesting.

 

[Adamska]

Cyberpunk 2020 game went a bit off the reservation too. The players went in to do some model mapping for a movie film due to them having the looks and bodies for it, but before that even happened they interpreted the sleazy director complaining about guerilla shoots getting fucked over by gangbangers as "you need us to kill them".

Director rolled with it, since snuff shots make great stock scenes and they WERE making a gang wars movie, and has them suit up, the roided up player being dressed in a gorilla costume since he is inhumanely swole. They then ask for presidents masks, are given hyperrealistic ones, and thus began the Clownery.

I think my favorite moment was when I got one of my boys to experience actual white guilt when they decided to talk up and possibly murder a gas station owner who was tied to the gang they were fucking with. It's leading to a heist.

I love derails; they make things so much more interesting.

 

[Snekposter]

Cyberpunk 2020 game went a bit off the reservation too. The players went in to do some model mapping for a movie film due to them having the looks and bodies for it, but before that even happened they interpreted the sleazy director complaining about guerilla shoots getting fucked over by gangbangers as "you need us to kill them".

Director rolled with it, since snuff shots make great stock scenes and they WERE making a gang wars movie, and has them suit up, the roided up player being dressed in a gorilla costume since he is inhumanely swole. They then ask for presidents masks, are given hyperrealistic ones, and thus began the Clownery.

I think my favorite moment was when I got one of my boys to experience actual white guilt when they decided to talk up and possibly murder a gas station owner who was tied to the gang they were fucking with. It's leading to a heist.

I love derails; they make things so much more interesting.

A heist? President masks? Clownery? A suit?

Let the mayhem begin.

 

[anti SJW]