"My friend's house. My friend's house. "my friends my frens myfrnensns,.sdmd..,d..."
Just fucking say Eric and Ricky, bitch. Everyone knows it's them. And it isn't like you ever gave a shit about people not wanting to be be on camera.
gaining weight on the weekend | what I ate today | episode 3 - June 27, 2022
Also: why the fuck have you not made "friends" closer to home? Oh, right. You don't make friends. You just appropriate the friends off other people.
Once again late on the DAILY vlogs. If you didn't mean you were going to release them on consecutive days, you shoulf have said so. Beause when people hear "DAILY vlogs" the implication is that they will be DAILY. Especially when someone is a month behind realtime and claims they want to catch up. You're still three weeks behind and this "challenge" is already over. Optavia 2.0.
"Hello. Good morneeen."
Fuck you. -120 for the opening.
"Welcome to day three." Holds her fat beetus paw up, hand open. That's a five, Fat Ham.
"I don't know why I said five." You didn't SAY five, Hamber, you SHOWED five fingers. You can't even be fucking stupid without the stupid being stupid, JFC.
Stayed at "the frens" house, and brought her fucking scale. Oh, it's because she's "taking this shit seriously". Not the weight loss, no no no. The supposed weighins. And, sadly, she says, she weighed in at 494.4. So, still 500 pounds. Allegedly.
Ah, here comes the litany of excuses she's about to unload that's the supposed reason she has gained weight. First, though, this is what she's about to defend, in case anyone has forgotten:
Day 1: 494.2
Day 2: 492.8
Day 3: 494.4
It's all the sitting in the car! It's the sodiumz. It's the lymphedema and water retention!
"So the mixture of those things, I totally get it." Really? Is that why you're always chowing down an entire bag of sodiumz-filled beef jerky for each of these "long car rides"?
I really have my doubts about you "getting it", Hamber. I find it fascinating, though, that you believe sitting on your ass in the car for two hours (a "long car ride", as she puts it) makes you all swole up, but sitting on your couch for 12 hours has no noticeable effect. You are truly a medical conundrum.
"It is what it is. I'm not gonna be ashamed of it. It is my story, it is my journey." You should be ashamed of it, And I have to tell you, Fat Ham, it ain't much of a "journey" unless you're counting the one that leads to an early death by an absolutely reversible and preventable condition. And what that up there is? Usual, daily fluctuations. These are not real, in the sense that they are not real weight gain or loss, and in the sense that I don't believe your fucking numbers anyway.
Could you at least have the courtesy of not eyefucking yourself in your "frens" house? Oops, sorry, I thought I was asking a normal person for a moment. Carry on, NarcLynn.
Oh, well, I guess that's it about the dissection of why she loses weight during the week and then gains on the weekend. Couldn't possibly be anything else, or anything that can be avoided. Remember: we don't know about nutrition like she does.
She's wearing two different earrings, trying to decide which to wear. A tacky, cheap red heart, or a tacky, cheap red hoop. I predict: tacky, cheap red heart.
She's so predictable. Tacky, cheap hearts it is.
"I'm just wearing all black today." That not-fitting cardigan you bought with the red cherries on it, that you are wearing right now, begs to differ, but ok, FashionistaLynn.
Now trying to decide how she wants to wear her hair. Quality content, everyone!
"I'm thinking." Makes a high pitched squeal. If you actually read books and did real things instead of sitting on your ass all day eating, watching TV and YT, and doing your fourth grade arts and crafts, your brain would be a bit better lubricated, and wouldn't make those kinds of noises.
Complains about the heat as she decides to do her hair. Here's a thought: don't fucking wear sweaters in the summer time.
More bitching about sleep. She "literally" only got three hours of sleep. Everyone else fell asleep, but she just couldn't, she was not tired at all. I suspect if I were one of those thinking people you detest, Hamber, I might look at the fact that you go to bed very late and get up very late, unlike the normal people around you, who go to bed and get up at normal people times. Or that you often nap in the afternoons. Just throwing that out there.
Big Ham's Book Review: skip. She annoys me because she has no clue on how to actually review a book.
Meal one: cranberry muffin, hoe-made by her "fen". She says she is not much of a muffin fan, unless they're chocolate or have chocolate chips in them - quelle suprise! Never would have guessed! - but she liked this well enough and it was 210 calories. Sounds like the same situation type deal as you not being a pizza gorl, Hamber. Way to go, once again wasting your calories on a fucking sugar-filled thing,
They took naps. Of course they did.
They're on their way to goodwill, because,in Hamber's own words, there are some clothes she wants "trying to get rid of." Once again, WriterLynn, you need to mind your word choice. Says she hasn't been inside a goodwill in forever, and she really only bought books there, back in the Krystle Era. Now, no way, dude. She doesn't even go to the library any more, beause people are always touching things in goodwill and libraries and my irony meter just broke into a zillion pieces because I punched it, then stomped it, then pounded it with a hammer, and then kicked it, and it ran into Hamber's Wall of UnSelf Awareness and shattered.
I swear to fuck, if you reaction/compilation channels don't use her talking about this, I'm going to be very angry with you for not taking that particularly low-hanging fruit.
Tells the "gf" where the goodwill is, then points. "Oh, there's that Indian restaurant. Wait, has it been there this whole time?" The "gf" grunts a yes at her. Wonder if the "gf" is getting sick and fucking tired of Driving Miss Dainty everywhere yet. She's gonna catch hell for not immediately rising to Big Ham's passive-aggressiveness and suggesting they eat there.
Full body shot in a mirror in goodwill. Bitch, you're not just 500 pounds, you're well over it. Gravity and age are not your "frens", clearly.
The date is June 11, 2022. Thanks, Starbucks, for putting dates on your receipts. What did Big Ham get? Venti Chai, cake pop. You should just eat a pound of sugar, Hamber.
Next up: lunch. More takeout. LOL, her trying to claim that a shrimp and crab pasta alfredo was 630 calories, because she only ate half. Sure, Ham. Keep telling yourself that. Or keep lying to us, telling us you didn't eat the entire portions of all the shitty food you're showing us. Some of us know that you're wildly undershooting all this garbage you're eating this day based solely on the relation between alfredo sauce and that number you just gave.
Claims they had fried mozzarella as an appetizer, and she only ate one bite of one on those (sure), for 300 calories.
Hilariously, claims AGAIN that she "overestimates" calories. No. No, Hamber you do not, because if you did, you would be losing REAL weight, not these teeny ounces at a time bullshit.
And now, for winner. Let me use my ESP: it'll be a restaurant/takeout giant pile of food.
Some Mexican/Japanese food place. Great, I love fusion - and also that I clearly have ESP! - so what did you hoover down, Fat Ham? Oh, not fusion. Just straight up Mexican or Japanese.
A street taco (which she claims she didn't finish) and big container of steak hibachi (steak, rice, and veg). Which she also claims she didn't finish. I kind of believe the veg one, because despite all her whining about the WLS not having veg on his initial meal plan for her, she doesn't eat them. Says it was 1066 calories for that, and let me pause a second to clean up the water I just laughed out of my nose. For the day, you estimates - quite badly - 3K calories. And that's why you're a gigantic fatass. That and the McFlurry you decided you needed to have on the way home.
Now they're back home. And of course now she's whining about muh mentalz and about her car ang-zie-tee and her general ang-zie-tee and her depression and her panic disorder and her bipolar disorder and her BED and how....wait. Holy shit, a new muh mentalz!
Fatty laid claim to yet another: panic disorder. Just as imaginary as the others.
Claims she doesn't share much online with people because she's "afraid of the judgement". Yeah, bullshit. You just don't want people picking holes in all the lies you tell. Maybe if you stop lying - haha, I crack myself up - that would stop. If you were really afraid, you're get the fuck off social media. but, you are not, so you won't.
One again reminds everyone that she's an empath, y'all! And her imaginary shrink said so, too!
Go wash your nasty fucking hair.
Shows us her fibit stat: claims to have walked over 4K steps for a distance of 1.66 miles, and the funniest fucking thing I've seen today: claims to have burned over 4K calories. Sure, Hamber. Sure. Too bad you don't know a fucking thing about physiology so you could understand why eveyone is laughing at you.
The reason the people around you don't gain weight like you do is because they do not eat or live like you do. YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL. YOU ARE NOT UNIQUE. I know it must be rough for you, living under the same laws of thermodynamics as us proles, but as you say, it is what it is.
Listen Hamber, just because your pea-sized brain decides you're a pluviopile or empath or that you have bipolar disorder doesn't make it true. It also doesn't matter if your imaginary shrink says so. Doesn't make it true. You're a fat, lazy, gluttonous, pathologically lying narc. You'll die alone and broke in some shithole, And no one will really care,
TL/DW:R Once again off to Eric & Ricky's on the weekend. Two hours there and she's all swole, frown emoji. And then the eating began. All but ONE thing she ate was restaurant/takeout shitty food. And that was a muffin. Claims she walked 4K steps and burned 4K calories, which really makes me wonder just what the fuck she input to the Fitbit for a weight, since those numbers are as usual bullshit. Bitches and moans about her muh mentalz. Her imaginary shrink also confirmed Big Ham is an empath, so there, nyah, haydurs. She captured another Psychiatric Pokemon! This time, she snared panic disorder. Great weekend.
Edited: the fitbit said 4800 or so as calories burned, not 48K. Still a total fucking myth, Apologies for the typo.
