Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

[Piga Dgrifm]

There's a pretty strange guy who just moved into my neighborhood. My first encounter with him occurred in the park, wherein he was running around in circles, and repeatedly asking everyone he saw "HAVE YOU SEEN DA BLUE'S CLUES?" Anyone who responded "yes" would then be met with a bizarre tirade about how much Crazy-Guy hates Joe (the second host of the show.)

The second time I saw him, he was just kind of wandering the neighborhood, chanting the phrase "I HATE TOMMY PICKLES," over and over again, while picking up any pieces of dog shit he found and just carrying it around for some reason.

I am both wary of, and looking forward to, my next encounter.

 

[Ho Mo for Women]

There's a pretty strange guy who just moved into my neighborhood. My first encounter with him occurred in the park, wherein he was running around in circles, and repeatedly asking everyone he saw "HAVE YOU SEEN DA BLUE'S CLUES?" Anyone who responded "yes" would then be met with a bizarre tirade about how much Crazy-Guy hates Joe (the second host of the show.)

The second time I saw him, he was just kind of wandering the neighborhood, chanting the phrase "I HATE TOMMY PICKLES," over and over again, while picking up any pieces of dog shit he found and just carrying it around for some reason.

I am both wary of, and looking forward to, my next encounter.

How close does this guy live to your house? I feel really bad for you that he's in your neighborhood at all. Any particular reason for his obsession with Nicktoons?

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

How close does this guy live to your house? I feel really bad for you that he's in your neighborhood at all. Any particular reason for his obsession with Nicktoons?

No idea what sparked his obsessions. He lives a couple blocks away, but is prone to 'wandering' and knocking on random people's front doors to ask for AA batteries, he hasn't come to mine yet though.

Forgot to mention in my last post, but the cops have been called on him once because he was running in and out of his garage, totally chimping out and throwing shit, shrieking at his 'best friend' for sleeping with his 'wife'. He has no wife, and his alleged 'best friend' was no where to be found.

One neighbor says she's seen him attempt to use an empty box of Lucky Charms as a phone.

 

[Ho Mo for Women]

No idea what sparked his obsessions. He lives a couple blocks away, but is prone to 'wandering' and knocking on random people's front doors to ask for AA batteries, he hasn't come to mine yet though.

Do you know what the AA batteries are for? I'm kind of scared of what the answer might be. How old is this guy? And does he live on his own, or with his parents? It sounds like he should be in some kind of group home or something.

 

[Piga Dgrifm]

Do you know what the AA batteries are for? I'm kind of scared of what the answer might be. How old is this guy? And does he live on his own, or with his parents? It sounds like he should be in some kind of group home or something.

No clue about the batteries. He lives on his own, though I think his parents paid for the house.

 

[RepQuest]

So B.J's mother strolls in around 10 o'clock, takes one look at the tree and had a hissy fit. She ran at the tree (all 300 + pounds of her) and began ripping decorations from it's branches. But not every decoration was destroyed- only the ones that had stars on them. Why the stars, the security guards that eventually had to restrain her, asked? Her answer? She didn't want to see a Christmas tree covered in "Jew stuff". It might upset her boys. They were very sensitive you see, and wouldn't be able to handle "mixing".

Michael Snyder the Christmas Tree.

 

[MightyBiteySnake]

Alright by popular demand (I'm looking at you Blake) here's some more Harry stories. This time we start w/ a short one

Spoiler

So my spring semester of freshman year I was working at my school's bookstore. Nothing too special really, worked the register, stocked merchandise, cleaned the bathrooms, took out the trash, etc. I had started working a just before the start of the semester so I was only barely working a week at the store when Harry comes in... with his parents. Now his parents don't seem bad at first, but if you have any prior knowledge of Harry you know there's something deeper. So in the bookstore they play music over the intercom, and "All Star" by Smash Mouth comes up on the CD. So Harry does the only sensible thing he can think to do. And dance. As he's walking around the store. And sing to himself. All while his parents just watch him. They didn't even look embarrassed or bothered that they're 18-19 YO son was just acting like this in public. Hell, they might've even been smiling. If I weren't on the job I'd have asked what the fuck he was doing.

And now for something a little different. Spoiler'd once again for text wallin'

Spoiler: stay a while and listen

Now Harry is notoriously unlikable. The guy is so weird that he was basically auto-shifted a tier below the incoming freshman from last semester on the lounge's social ladder. Literally, not only does the general lounge population have less respect for him than the YGO-obsessed frosh (who actually are pretty chill), they have no respect for him either. Keep in mind, that we are a pretty accepting ragtag bunch of nerds, with many different kinds of people of different backgrounds, and don't turn people down easily.Now Harry would be quick to tell you that the Curse of Asperger is the reason he is so disliked, as was previously mentioned, however that is only the tip of the iceberg. Harry suffers from another disease called "entitlement." Yes, whether it's good grades, personal help from professors, winning at games, or having everyone like him poor lil' Harry believes he deserves all this and more for doing less, cuz he has Asperger's. So this already gives him a bad rap with just about everyone, ESPECIALLY the folks with similar or worse conditions work more and achieve more than him. Harry's also cripplingly IGNORANT, tho more out of foolishness than malice. However, keep in mind we go to that is majority black students. And his sense of humor draws from "lol so rando" references to off-the-wall YouTube vids. W/o context. So he'll drop race sensitive jokes out of the context of a conversation, out of the context of a discussion about the video or it's creator. And then wonder why people think he's racist. One notable example was an occasion he proclaimed my friend (who's black) was "[his] chocolate comrade" to which I tried to explain to him that "you just can't say that" w/o context, to which he adamantly tried to justify this by saying it was a Stamper (I think) reference, where in a FF7 animation, Cloud refers to Barrett (the only black party member in the game) as "[his] chocolate comrade." Not that anyone else in the room would've know that. Or cared.

However, Harry's total inability to be liked or respected doesn't end at our colleagues. It extends to our professors as well. Now like I said I shared 3 classes w/ this cow first semester (which was 3 too many, frankly) so I got to watch our professors slowly get more and more pissed at him w/ each class. By the grace of sheer luck, I was placed in separate groups for the BS Collab class and Intro to GD, where I got to experience Harry's lulz from a safe distance. In writing, however I was seated next to him. Now Harry fucked up many ways across these courses, but there was a common origin: he wouldn't listen to the fuckin' professor's instructions. Ever. Now in writing I knew exactly he was lost as fuck: He was always using the lab computer to play card games, look up TCG card prices online, and look up the latest new card sets for Weiss Schwartz. Twice a week. Every week. This usually resulted in him asking me for help. After the 3rd week I started redirecting him to the teacher. 2 weeks before the final she finally told him that "[She wasn't] his personal tutor" and how to contact her via email after class. In Game Design, he became the de facto leader of his group, and basically insisted on keeping every original point of his games (we only worked on two major analog games for reference), despite his group's protests. Even when our professor, a very kind and patient man, explained to him that he might have to sacrifice one his mechanics for the sake of the project. Game Design Prof. also hated telling students to nuke a game, or restart a draft, because he liked the idea of students giving the base idea their all. He had Harry nuke his group's final halfway thru cuz there was no way it could develop into a full game by the end of the semester, even tho Harry insisted he could make it work. Harry had been so disruptive and rude during class, even this extremely patient man was visibly annoyed with Harry every time he spoke during a lecture by the end of the semester. In BS Collab I was only in a small group with him once, and me and our other partner had to carry the project of putting together an art installation, cuz Harry said that he "didn't know" what he could do to help, and got pissed when we didn't involve him. In one of his other small groups, the professor brought all the students to Home Depot so they could gather materials to make their own lamp. Harry gathered materials to make a sword. W/o the professor's permission. And got pissed when he was told he was performing the assignment wrong and would be marked poorly for it.

And that's it for tonight's edition of Silly Spergs With Snake. Hope you all enjoyed again.

 

[yasscat]

Alright by popular demand (I'm looking at you Blake) here's some more Harry stories. This time we start w/ a short one

Spoiler

So my spring semester of freshman year I was working at my school's bookstore. Nothing too special really, worked the register, stocked merchandise, cleaned the bathrooms, took out the trash, etc. I had started working a just before the start of the semester so I was only barely working a week at the store when Harry comes in... with his parents. Now his parents don't seem bad at first, but if you have any prior knowledge of Harry you know there's something deeper. So in the bookstore they play music over the intercom, and "All Star" by Smash Mouth comes up on the CD. So Harry does the only sensible thing he can think to do. And dance. As he's walking around the store. And sing to himself. All while his parents just watch him. They didn't even look embarrassed or bothered that they're 18-19 YO son was just acting like this in public. Hell, they might've even been smiling. If I weren't on the job I'd have asked what the fuck he was doing.

And now for something a little different. Spoiler'd once again for text wallin'

Spoiler: stay a while and listen

Now Harry is notoriously unlikable. The guy is so weird that he was basically auto-shifted a tier below the incoming freshman from last semester on the lounge's social ladder. Literally, not only does the general lounge population have less respect for him than the YGO-obsessed frosh (who actually are pretty chill), they have no respect for him either. Keep in mind, that we are a pretty accepting ragtag bunch of nerds, with many different kinds of people of different backgrounds, and don't turn people down easily.Now Harry would be quick to tell you that the Curse of Asperger is the reason he is so disliked, as was previously mentioned, however that is only the tip of the iceberg. Harry suffers from another disease called "entitlement." Yes, whether it's good grades, personal help from professors, winning at games, or having everyone like him poor lil' Harry believes he deserves all this and more for doing less, cuz he has Asperger's. So this already gives him a bad rap with just about everyone, ESPECIALLY the folks with similar or worse conditions work more and achieve more than him. Harry's also cripplingly IGNORANT, tho more out of foolishness than malice. However, keep in mind we go to that is majority black students. And his sense of humor draws from "lol so rando" references to off-the-wall YouTube vids. W/o context. So he'll drop race sensitive jokes out of the context of a conversation, out of the context of a discussion about the video or it's creator. And then wonder why people think he's racist. One notable example was an occasion he proclaimed my friend (who's black) was "[his] chocolate comrade" to which I tried to explain to him that "you just can't say that" w/o context, to which he adamantly tried to justify this by saying it was a Stamper (I think) reference, where in a FF7 animation, Cloud refers to Barrett (the only black party member in the game) as "[his] chocolate comrade." Not that anyone else in the room would've know that. Or cared.

However, Harry's total inability to be liked or respected doesn't end at our colleagues. It extends to our professors as well. Now like I said I shared 3 classes w/ this cow first semester (which was 3 too many, frankly) so I got to watch our professors slowly get more and more pissed at him w/ each class. By the grace of sheer luck, I was placed in separate groups for the BS Collab class and Intro to GD, where I got to experience Harry's lulz from a safe distance. In writing, however I was seated next to him. Now Harry fucked up many ways across these courses, but there was a common origin: he wouldn't listen to the fuckin' professor's instructions. Ever. Now in writing I knew exactly he was lost as fuck: He was always using the lab computer to play card games, look up TCG card prices online, and look up the latest new card sets for Weiss Schwartz. Twice a week. Every week. This usually resulted in him asking me for help. After the 3rd week I started redirecting him to the teacher. 2 weeks before the final she finally told him that "[She wasn't] his personal tutor" and how to contact her via email after class. In Game Design, he became the de facto leader of his group, and basically insisted on keeping every original point of his games (we only worked on two major analog games for reference), despite his group's protests. Even when our professor, a very kind and patient man, explained to him that he might have to sacrifice one his mechanics for the sake of the project. Game Design Prof. also hated telling students to nuke a game, or restart a draft, because he liked the idea of students giving the base idea their all. He had Harry nuke his group's final halfway thru cuz there was no way it could develop into a full game by the end of the semester, even tho Harry insisted he could make it work. Harry had been so disruptive and rude during class, even this extremely patient man was visibly annoyed with Harry every time he spoke during a lecture by the end of the semester. In BS Collab I was only in a small group with him once, and me and our other partner had to carry the project of putting together an art installation, cuz Harry said that he "didn't know" what he could do to help, and got pissed when we didn't involve him. In one of his other small groups, the professor brought all the students to Home Depot so they could gather materials to make their own lamp. Harry gathered materials to make a sword. W/o the professor's permission. And got pissed when he was told he was performing the assignment wrong and would be marked poorly for it.

And that's it for tonight's edition of Silly Spergs With Snake. Hope you all enjoyed again.

yasssss

 

[RepQuest]

A former childhood friend, whose mother was my preschool teacher, is turning into one on Facebook. To wit:

* He's always posting articles with titles like "Sunny Nevada just killed the off-grid industry with a 40% tax hike", "Big pharma is synthesizing cannabis", "Alzheimer's and aluminum link can no longer be ignored", etc. Other times he's posting archaeology and history articles that can be interesting, but half the time they're just analyzing some symbols or numbers in a way that makes Walter Sparrow seem sane.

* Posts that he share also include such tinfoil hat claims as "Nutella is made with petroleum and milk from diseased cows", "the NFL is controlled by the illuminati" ("Dont let a game which you have no control over, CONTROL YOU. Be stronger. Resist the mind control. Resist GROUP THINKING! "), "Hillary Clinton is a satanist", "Baking soda cures cancer", etc.

* He posted an article that parroted all those old myths about how Coca-Cola's acids can dissolve a penny. I told him that I had seen Mythbusters debunk all that already, and had even tried it myself, and he said "Well, Coca-Cola just paid off the Mythbusters guys to lie and make their product look better."

* He posted an article from one of those Onion-type sites that deliberately makes fake news, about how KFC uses mutant chickens with extra breasts and legs. When someone told him it was a joke, he replied, "That doesn't mean it's not true!"

* One post shared an image saying that the FCC ruled in 2004 that Fox News is not legally required to be truthful.

Basically, he's one of those paranoid crackpots who thinks that the world is controlled by Big Brother and that we'll all be brainwashed unless we fight.

I kinda don't wanna call him out on his bullshit because of how entertaining he is.

Does he like David Dees's Facebook page?

 

[Hummingbird]

I will admit that I did lost a bit of my temper at Roger today. So far, it was normal with him mentioning how he finally defeated Darksied, Brainac, Bane and Doomsday with his super strength, super speed and laser beam eyes. (Juggernaut was next on his list.) But, that's not the big thing; that's more amusing. Another supervisor and I were listening to him complain about how he wants to go back to school, never learned anything (like how to count to five) and that he doesn't like art (despite drawing on his breaks) because he doesn't know how to paint. We told him if he wanted more schooling, he should go to college, but then he whined how doesn't want to because he'd rather be in regular school. I told him that he can always learn the things he doesn't know. Then he whined it was too hard, he didn't know how and his last teacher is gone so he can't learn anything.

I reminded him that maybe he'd be happier and less frustrated with his life if he tried things out and asked his folks or caretakers for help. That he just can't go through life not knowing, complaining every day and refusing to do anything. And when he complained and whined again with the same excuses, I got so frustrated I subconsciously slammed my fist on the table. I immediately calmed down when I saw what happened and the other supervisor and I decided that I need some space away from him.

 

[Tehshigelisok]

Does he like David Dees's Facebook page?

Not as far as I can tell.

 

[Count groudon]

So here's a quick story about Damien that I just remembered.

Spoiler

I don't quite know if I got this across before, but Damien is fucking huge. He stands at around 6' 7" and weighs over 300 pounds. Now, his girth is obviously almost entirely fat and this apparent to anyone who sees him ,it's also to the point that him getting stuck in things that can hold most overweight people with not much problem is a common occurrence. He's fully aware of his size, and in classic Damien fashion he has a story to explain this. You see, he adamantly claims that he is in fact mostly muscle from his constant martial arts training, but he intentionally got a large belly because fat absorbs more impact than muscle. He also goes on to say that because of his genius mixture of fat and muscle he is essentially a living breathing tank. Now one day during gym class he was explaining this to a group of girls (most likely intending to impress them) when one of the football players overheard him saying this and called him out on it. Damien became characteristically offended and decided that he would prove this by making a bet with the kid. He said that he had such "high defense" that you could hit him with a baseball bat and he would barely flinch. The football player eventually agreed after Damien kept prodding him and went into the locker room and came back with an old wooden baseball bat (the coach never really paid attention so we were usually free to do whatever). He wrapped the bat with a blanket that one of the girls kept in her bag to lessen the impact and after spending a few minutes confirming that Damien actually wanted to do it finally stepped up. Everyone sat in silence and watched as the kid took the bat and swung it dead center in Damien's gut. He didn't really swing it hard, but it was still enough to hurt. So the second the bat made contact with his blubbery skin, Damien's eyes widened and his mouth opened as if he was going scream but no sounds came out. A few seconds later he suddenly collapsed and began sobbing violently on the floor. The coach finally realized some shit had gone down and got off his ass to go check on the little crying flab biscuit. Since Damien was too winded from crying to actually talk, everyone just said he tripped and hit the bleachers. The coach, most likely not wanting to have to deal with this shit, just decided to take their word for it and took Damien to the nurse. He ended up with a large bruise on his belly, but aside from that he was relatively okay. Now after this you'd think that he would shut up about being tough, but actually he took a lot of pride in it and even began bragging about how he got away with just a bruise whereas a "lesser man" would probably have shattered their rib cage.

 

[sparklemilhouse]

In addition to being a skeevy perv Ricky's hygiene was notorious. by high school he weighed over three hundred pounds and always wore the same thing, a filth encrusted anime t shirt stretched over his enormous belly, a dirty hoody that smelled like smoke and worst of all the same pair of tight women's sweat pants with a series of visible shit stains on the rear.

Uh was he sent home a lot for having nasty clothes? His parents warned by cps or something?

 

[Karellen]

So I don't know where else to post this but here goes. It's about the LGBTQIAXYZ conference called Creating Change that's in Chicago right now.

Spoiler

So I'm trying to become more active at my home office (I travel for work) and I join the lgbt group, figuring since its corporate there won't be too many tumblrites (and I'm trying to have more gay friends). So I get invited to this conference and I went yesterday.

I get there and holy shit. It was like a tumblr con. I was in a registration line between a blue haired and hairy dude wearing a dress and a woman dressed as a cow. When I get my badge I'm told there's a bucket of buttons to put on my lanyard so people know my preferred pronouns. And it's crap like ze/zir/xir/el/ella. I'd say most of the attendees are under 25, and I felt out of place for dressing appropriately, no piercings and no hair dye.

So now I know this whole thing is a joke. I look at the available workshops for the day and most of them are mah oppression style stuff (Building Transgender and Gender NonConforming Economic Justice was one) so I decide to go to the sex one.

It was entertaining for the first half. It was lead by someone who looked like Brianna Wu in 20 years. A bunch of people got up and talked about their sexual awakenings. Every time one of them said something sexual that happened someone in the audience would do a Chris like "Mmmmm...yeah". And you weren't allowed to clap. Everyone snapped. I also got to draw a desire map (sadly I left it there and didn't take a photo of it for sharing )

At lunch I met the guy who invited me and we both did a WTF. We got plenty of angry glares from womyn and whales alike when we talked and laughed about the goofy pronouns and the ridiculousness of the whole thing.

I left in the afternoon after a beast introduced herself as a genderfluid polyamorous daddy and another one whined about having a UTI so she couldn't share in bodily fluids. There was a lot more disgusting and weird stuff shared (I know it's a workshop about sex but still) but I blocked it out of my mind. There also was a woman who said she was a feminist and started to cry because she liked BDSM and she thought she was hurting the cause.

Oh and it turns out the conference is full of anti-Semites. They banned a gay Jewish group from attending but they got reinstated.

I didn't go today but I can go back Saturday or Sunday.

 

[Ruin]

Uh was he sent home a lot for having nasty clothes? His parents warned by cps or something?

Ricky was pretty much immune for some reason. Rumor had it his parents were incredibly sue happy. Basically they were the Bob and Borb of Wisconsin, threatening a massive lawsuit whenever their little autist was banned from someplace.

 

[AnOminous]

So I don't know where else to post this but here goes. It's about the LGBTQIAXYZ conference called Creating Change that's in Chicago right now.

I read this is "Creating Cringe."

The pics did not disabuse me of this notion.

 

[Ruin]

I read this is "Creating Cringe."

The pics did not disabuse me of this notion.

Yea there's a reason I never hang out with any other LGBTWTFBBQ people.

 

[Karellen]

I read this is "Creating Cringe."

The pics did not disabuse me of this notion.

Here are some I dug up from the #cc16 hashtag on Twitter. Also, fucking cisplaining?!

Spoiler

 

[Ruin]

Images are broken for me.

 

[Karellen]

Images are broken for me.

Uploaded them so should be fixed now