Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Your Favorite New Friend]

Yeah I don’t think women get ghosted often.

In my experience it happens all the time--right after they get too fucking clingy.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

Lol, she gets out of breath by just moving in place.

 

[Gramlol]

In my experience it happens all the time--right after they get too fucking clingy.

Usually women who get ghosted at least go on a date or a few first. Tess doesn't seem to get that far.

 

[formerfatcow]

 

[Gramlol]

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Someone's avoiding eye contact, huh

 

[Janki's Mom]

OMFG. She's got fat layers on top of her fat layers on top of her other fat layers. She's ginormous in that video.

 

[formerfatcow]

 

[M.T. Graves]

Oh man, what are the chances that her Uber driver was plus sized and a a super fan of Tess’? What a small world!

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

Oh man, what are the chances that her Uber driver was plus sized and a a super fan of Tess’? What a small world!

Just like all the servers at restaurants are totally hitting on her. In a place like LA, surely nobody would pretend to be a fan for clout!

Edit. Oh and Tess. The word you're looking for isn't plus size. It's super morbidly obese.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

Oh dear. No, just a hung over Tess shilling Tula skin care products. Can't you see how GLOWY her skin is?
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Jesus Christ, Tula! I know the barrier to entry to become a brand ambassador with you is low, but can you not hire someone to at least give these people a cursory glance before signing them on? You're a skincare brand. Tess should be the before picture, not the person actively using your products.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

I've lost count of how many besties she's had.

I wish I was autistic enough to go through over 1,200 pages in this thread to start tabulating them. It has to be over a hundred.

Usually women who get ghosted at least go on a date or a few first. Tess doesn't seem to get that far.

Or they literally run away from her during the date.

Jesus Christ, Tula! I know the barrier to entry to become a brand ambassador with you is low, but can you not hire someone to at least give these people a cursory glance before signing them on? You're a skincare brand. Tess should be the before picture, not the person actively using your products.

With a recession underway, companies are desperate for any kind of growth right now. Them using Tubbers is a sign of desperation on their part.

 

[Alpaca Autopsy Expert]

So according to her “tea” video, this Irish guy was so distracted/stunned by her beauty he forgot to compliment her? And he also forgot he had driven to the restaurant in his own car?
Maybe she meant to say he was “retarded”?

Maybe he hopped into the Uber with her, because he thought after filling her up with dinner, he was gonna get a little of her patented cake-fart dessert. Then when she didn’t invite him up, he dejectedly Uber-ed back to the restaurant where he left his car.

 

[Meiwaku]

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> Posting this

>Going on a date with a scrote not even a few weeks later.

For someone who spergs out about minorities and appropriation she sure as hell has no issue pretending to be a lesbian

 

[Water-T]

Someone's avoiding eye contact, huh

All that eye-darting and fidgeting indicates that she's trying to sell us bullshit again.

It's almost a given that after watching her scarf down 99% of the menu like Mr. Creosote, Paddy Wack "excused himself to the bathroom" and never came back.

 

[formerfatcow]

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

All that eye-darting and fidgeting indicates that she's trying to sell us bullshit again.

It's almost a given that after watching her scarf down 99% of the menu like Mr. Creosote, Paddy Wack "excused himself to the bathroom" and never came back.

I’ll take it one step further: does this guy even exist? Tess, who was blubbering a few days ago and just turned 37, needed to at least pretend that she was still desirable. So she made up a fake date that went south but it totally wasn’t her fault, y’all! You’d ask why she didn’t make up being with a queer and that’s because nobody is going to track down a “mediocre white guy” to see who it is.

 

[rocknrollmartian]

So if a man isn't constantly telling Tess she's beautiful, he's out. I think this may be the most flagrantly uncensored narcissistic thing she's ever said.

 

[formerfatcow]

"Do I think I'm gonna end up with a cis man? No."

 

[Water-T]

So if a man isn't constantly telling Tess she's beautiful, he's out. I think this may be the most flagrantly uncensored narcissistic thing she's ever said.

Tess loves to put up this front of "I KNOW I AM THE MOST IN DEMAND MODEL AND I KNOW I AM THE HOTTEST WOMAN SINCE HELEN OF TROY! I DON'T NEED NO MAN!", but her constant need for approval from internet asspatters and constant hunt for male attention says otherwise.

The fact that she is so fucking clingy and assumes the worst from a man simply for not kissing her planet-sized ass is one of the reasons that she can't find and keep a man.

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

So she made up a fake date that went south but it totally wasn’t her fault, y’all!

If she made it up she could have done better job, like he wanted to show off or tried to be, ehh, too “old-fashioned”, so she, as woke independent queer she is, said nu-uh, and dropped that Low-Value Male (c) herself.