A PSA: Dear non-Southerners and non-Hillbillies...

[Wormy]

As a hick from the asscrack of the Blue Ridge Mountains, I really, REALLY am flattered how much of an ubermensch you seem to believe we are. I mean, to hear you guys talk about us, you're convinced that every single one of us is a crack shot from birth, skinned a bear before we were out of diapers, we all have sustainable family crops and usually horses to go with it. We're all the equivalent of military snipers, rangers, and the whole place is full of John Rambos who, when the day comes, will gorilla warfare and Deus Vult the shit out of all the pansy ass liberals, yankees, and degenerates.

Yee haw, chucklefucks.

Just one problem with this glowing representation; it's mostly false.

Now this much is true
-I'd give Vegas odds to even the lowest and sissiest hick in a fight against your average Bugman,
-Just about everyone of us knows ONE weirdo out there who can shack up in a Unabomber style outpost with an arsenal
-Gun ownership is very high and very common, even if it's just for pest control
-Our food is better by and large (especially Louisiana)

But that aside, we have plenty of sexual degenerates including kiddie diddlers, a whole lot of junkies, more than enough no-accounts (love that word) who're fine on living off the dole while crying about other people living off the dole, worthless liars, sluts, ho's, and oh by the GODS do we have a rolodex full of religious hypocrits. There's a reason for the old joke "Wanna know where to get booze in a dry county? Ask the Baptist minister."

Most of Kiwifarms thinks we are...
View attachment 3489243

When really, we're more like...

Please keep this mind next time you think we're all Red White and Blue tinted Fedaykin warriors.

Thank you, discuss if you wish.

 

[Syaoran Li]

Finally, a fellow hillbilly here said it so I don't have to.

I get why so many edgy trads on here idolize us, given the antics of guys like MovieBob and the general shitty state of a lot of major cities in this country.

But some of these people act like Appalachia is some sort of paradise on Earth and it reminds me of the rosy eyed view that thirteen-year old weebs had for Japan back in the early 2000's.

At least those weebs back in 2002 were generally clueless teens who were often too young to know any better.

The trads here on KF that idolize us hillbillies are adults who have access to more than enough info to know better than to think that the hills and hollers are this idyllic "based" paradise.

At least 1950's America had a whole cultural mythos and one of the biggest and longest periods of unprecedented economic propserity to justify the rosy-eyed romanticized view it often gets.

 

[The Last Stand]

I met Southern people when I was down in Tennessee. One guy owned an antique shop and showed me around. Even told me a fable about Black people and bottles on a tree.

Every place everywhere has assholes. But, they don't call it Southern hospitality for nothing.

 

[MrTroll]

 

[Account]

As a Yankee, I would like to thank you for validating my opinion that you are all worthless trash.

 

[Wormy]

At least those weebs back in 2002 were generally clueless teens who were often too young to know better. The trads here on KF that idolize us hillbillies are old enough and have access to more than enough info to know better.

I swear, I want one of those Clockwork Orange Ludavico treatment setups and set them in front of a non stop showing of Harlan County USA, maybe the romanticizing will stop.

 

[Syaoran Li]

As a Yankee, I would like to thank you for validating my opinion that you are all worthless trash.

For what it's worth, I generally agree with you.

I swear, I want one of those Clockwork Orange Ludavico treatment setups and set them in front of a non stop showing of Harlan County USA, maybe the romanticizing will stop.

They'll just make excuses and say that documentaries like Harlan County USA and The Dancing Outlaw are just "cringe liberal Jew propaganda"

 

[Wormy]

I get why so many edgy trads on here idolize us, given the antics of guys like MovieBob and the general shitty state of a lot of major cities in this country.

It's not that we AREN'T better than bugmen or people like Moviebob, it's just that...well, that's a low bar to leap in the first place....

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

For what it's worth, I generally agree with you.

Mardi Gras is fun tho.

 

[Syaoran Li]

Mardi Gras is fun tho.

Those are French Creoles and Cajuns, not Scots-Irish hillbillies.

 

[JJLiautaud]

I met Southern people when I was down in Tennessee. One guy owned an antique shop and showed me around. Even told me a fable about Black people and bottles on a tree.

Every place everywhere has assholes. But, they don't call it Southern hospitality for nothing.

Whats the fable?

 

[A-Stump]

Who gives a fuck

 

[Lasersuit Larry]

Every place and people have both an idealized and demonized stereotype. Most people who didn't lose a lot of IQ to the leaded paint and gas are aware of this and don't think much about it at all.

You invoke one when you wish to be complementary, the other when you want to be insulting, usually with all parties fully aware that neither is actually true.

 

[Gina Gillotti]

Justified was one of the best things on TV.

 

[Divine right to rule]

I am not american, but I like southern cuisine and music. Was there once, and people were really friendly. Never felt unsafe there, much to the contrast to NYC and LA when I visited.

 

[Blobby's Murder Knife]

Those are French Creoles and Cajuns, not Scots-Irish hillbillies.

True, but the OP lumped them in mentioning the food in Louisiana.

 

[Just A Butt]

no one thinks hillbillies are cool and whoever told you that was making fun of you

 

[Johnny Eastwood cash]

Finally, a fellow hillbilly here said it so I don't have to.

I get why so many edgy trads on here idolize us, given the antics of guys like MovieBob and the general shitty state of a lot of major cities in this country.

But some of these people act like Appalachia is some sort of paradise on Earth and it reminds me of the rosy eyed view that thirteen-year old weebs had for Japan back in the early 2000's.

At least those weebs back in 2002 were generally clueless teens who were often too young to know any better.

The trads here on KF that idolize us hillbillies are adults who have access to more than enough info to know better than to think that the hills and hollers are this idyllic "based" paradise.

At least 1950's America had a whole cultural mythos and one of the biggest and longest periods of unprecedented economic propserity to justify the rosy-eyed romanticized view it often gets.

I think they just watch too much dukes of hazzard

 

[Skitarii]

I know you fags are fucking retarded, I've made too many small-town hick crackhead jokes not to realize the obvious. The difference is that your faggots are less belligerent and urbane than the house niggers that yanks call faggots

 

[Syaoran Li]

I think they just watch too much dukes of hazzard

I'd say it's a mix of that and how the unhinged ravings of bugmen like MovieBob make the Bible Belt seem appealing to edgy "traditionalist" /pol/ kiddies who like to LARP as Solomon Kane on the internet.