Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

Tess is fat.
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She in awe of how big it is, but her ass fits into it with hardly any room to spare. Clearly this bitch didn't think she was THAT fat.

 

[multiverse]

Tess is fat.
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Oh em gee you guise, this chair is so enormous!

<won't show us how she actually managed to squeeze herself into the giant chair>

Next scene she's exactly as wide as the chair.

~mUh AnOrExIa~

 

[12FluidOunces]

That chair's gotta be somewhat heavier than your average foldable chair. Tess struggles with walking as it is, she ain't gonna take that shit anywhere

 

[TheMilkMaiden]

No words

 

[Simon]

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No words

Someone put the 'if only you knew how bad things are' on this photo, because holy shit, Tess. Your son looks miserable & you're completely oblivious.

 

[My cravat doesn't flutter]

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No words

Dear god, he looks like he belongs on the poster for a shitty, overhyped horror flick generically titled "The Haunting of [insert location]".

 

[FrownyFace]

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No words

Ooooh, there are plenty of words. But I’d just be preaching to the top hat choir at this point.

 

[Water-T]

That's a face that says, "Mommy keeps dragging me to one Golden Corral after another, eating up the fried chicken until they kick her out and we move onto the next one!"

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

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No words

Same energy

 

[Constellationzero]

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No words

Tell me that looks like a fucking Roald Dahl villain and not KA--WERRRKEHH and funneh!

 

[formerfatcow]

Sounds like she might be starting another business venture?

She uploaded another tiktok about not knowing what to wear to an art show tonight, but it was taken down before I was able to archive it. I did get the caption, which is the melodramatic attitude you'd expect from Tess.

She also posted about the art show on her story.

Spoiler: the art in question

Yes, that's really it.

Cryptic story post from last night.

 

[idomyfoodbucketlist]

In reference to Tess starting a new business... she's wondering in her TikTok what makes people want to buy a product. How about knowing I'll actually get the product?? Let's hope she's not doing this on her own again... it'll be the t-shirt scandal all over again.

 

[Pina Colada]

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No words

Poor Bowie. The lights are on, but nobody's home.

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

Yes, that's really it.

Really? Is no one going to comment on this monstrosity?

What are the ring things even? How is that edible? Slavic* meat jelly is a crime of it's own, but what the fucking hell is this?

*other variations of this culinary miscarriage exist in other nations’ cuisine as well

ETA please don't tell me this is considered a normal, common food, I'll quit internet for a week if that's true.

 

[𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔]

Really? Is no one going to comment on this monstrosity?

What are the ring things even? How is that edible? Slavic* meat jelly is a crime of it's own, but what the fucking hell is this?

*other variations of this culinary miscarriage exist in other nations’ cuisine as well

ETA please don't tell me this is considered a normal, common food, I'll quit internet for a week if that's true.

They seem to be glass sculptures based off of weird 50s/60s cookbooks. I actually think it's kind of funny

 

[Gramlol]

They seem to be glass sculptures based off of weird 50s/60s cookbooks. I actually think it's kind of funny

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I mean, it's kitsch, but not particularly interesting. Definitely Tess' level of art

 

[Your Favorite New Friend]

Really? Is no one going to comment on this monstrosity?

What are the ring things even? How is that edible? Slavic* meat jelly is a crime of it's own, but what the fucking hell is this?

*other variations of this culinary miscarriage exist in other nations’ cuisine as well

ETA please don't tell me this is considered a normal, common food, I'll quit internet for a week if that's true.

Aspic - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

 

[Crepidodera fulvicornis]

Aspic - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

Yeah, that’s what I was talking about when I mentioned “meat jelly”. But this — penne in broth? Some alien ring thingies? — is worse than that.

But thnx @𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔 , I’ve checked her acc (rip my recommendations), seems like it is some weird food related (quelle surprise) shit. That's better than literal food as in “meal to serve”, but gosh you're weird, westerners.

Spoiler: Proof

This is literally food in glass. Hope it doesn't rot.

Well, at least my internet access is safe.
Pardon for the panic, but I was genuinely shooketh.

 

[Alpaca Autopsy Expert]

Another week, another drain on her “mental energy “, more anxiety, depression, oppression, blah, blah, blah.
Ya know what Tess? If life is so hard, and you’re struggling that much, why don’t you check yourself into some mental facility somewhere? It’s never ending.

 

[Your Favorite New Friend]

Yeah, that’s what I was talking about when I mentioned “meat jelly”. But this — penne in broth? Some alien ring thingies? — is worse than that.

But thnx @𝕺𝖑' 𝕯𝖎𝖗𝖙𝖞 𝕱𝖆𝖙𝖘𝖔 , I’ve checked her acc (rip my recommendations), seems like it is some weird food related (quelle surprise) shit. That's better than literal food as in “meal to serve”, but gosh you're weird, westerners.

Spoiler: Proof

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This is literally food in glass. Hope it doesn't rot.

Well, at least my internet access is safe.
Pardon for the panic, but I was genuinely shooketh.

Yeah, I see that you're right about these being in glass. It looks like the "food" is made of clay.