Oh, cool. Now here's Kotaku to add their own unique brand of retardation to Keffals' daily (hourly?) moments of brain damage.
I haven't willingly looked at an article of theirs in years. The last time I even saw one of their dumb posts was secondhand from a Twitter (when I actually wanted to use it) post talking about how stupid one of their articles was.
John Walker previously wrote for Rock, Paper, Shotgun, so this sort of maudlin, limp-wristed, "If only you could talk to the monsters" level of writing is on brand for him.