Grand Jury speculation thread

[Vamp Soulja]

His last appearance he did sperg big time so it's definitely a possibility.

I agree it is a possibility. I just don't think it's as likely as him just pouting like he usually does.

I don't see how it goes any other way on your second point. This divinity thing has been around since before JoF and doesn't seem to have any brakes.

Chris cares more about his cartoons and toys than he does about being Jesus.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

I imagine the courthouse is getting a lot of calls right about now.

 

[A Grey Cat]

Maybe worth trying again in a few hours. It might still be pending.

The clerk probably said call back tomorrow because she's so tired of having to handle all the calls asking about Chris.

 

[Smleman303]

No one read the recent letter since it just was a summation from one of Chris's orbiters.

I know but damn, if true it means we've had basically lies about lies, about lies. He couldn't even keep his much he needs straight or forgot how much he last begged for?

 

[Big Buns]

I'd feel bad for the poor fucker that's there getting sentenced the same day as Chris, and gets sentenced to 20 years in prison and along with that, they get to see Chris screaming and crying because the court threw away his toys

And they’re probably being sentenced for something that’s significantly less heinous than raping your own elderly demented mother.

 

[Dr. Silvestrechu]

The clerk probably said call back tomorrow because she's so tired of having to handle all the calls asking about Chris.

"Excuse me ma'am, but has that motherfucking internet retard been sentenced to prison yet?"

 

[Hack for crack]

Can you guys stop DDoSing vacourts.gov for a few minutes so I can get a phone number?

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

I don't have much of a prediction, but Chris will view the Judge, Heilberg, and all of the Commonwealth of Virginia as nothing more than insects.

 

[King Metalia]

I don't have much of a prediction, but Chris will view the Judge, Heilberg, and all of the Commonwealth of Virginia as nothing more than insects.

So basically the same way he's always viewed anyone who isn't him.

 

[Bassomatic]

Can you guys stop DDoSing vacourts.gov for a few minutes so I can get a phone number?

The sheer concept so many people are smashing f5 to hear about this that it crashes government websites, brings a child like warmth to my heart.

 

[Male Idiot]

Hide your kids. Hide your wives. Hide your husbands. Cuz horny Chris is gonna rape everybody out here.

You must be very old and maybe even President or the owner of Springfield nuclear power plant. For the average farmer, hide granny asap.

 

[Koji Kabuto]

The sheer concept so many people are smashing f5 to hear about this that it crashes government websites, brings a child like warmth to my heart.

Reminds me of the time when Michael Jackson abruptly died just before his big comeback and Google couldn't handle the volume of people trying to figure out if it was a hoax or not

 

[Yksi_Toveri]

If barbs in a home and let him stay at 14 there would be some sort of dark poetic idea of the house empty no barb no toys just Chris.

Latest letter synopsis seems to imply Barb is at 14BC and Chris wants $150K to put her in a nursing home. Of course, Chris is an unreliable narrator, so who knows if that's true.

 

[Nicest Person on a Honda]

I imagine the courthouse is getting a lot of calls right about now.

Whomever is working those phones is earning their paycheck today. Imagine having to deal with wave after wave of socially retarded weens all day, all asking the same question.

 

[Hack for crack]

When the courthouse is closed, does that mean that cases inside are finished? Or just no new people can go inside? Toasting in a epic

Stolen from reddit:

"Prediction

In keeping with the "the worst possible outcome will always present itself" theory of Christory, I believe that Chris will go home and find Barb dead, not tell anyone, and go full Norman Bates."

 

[A Grey Cat]

It's been 4 hours, i fhe was released we would have heard something from him by now. A tweet or possibly a /vlog from a place with wifi on his phone.

 

[ScaliasGhost]

When the courthouse is closed, does that mean that cases inside are finished? Or just no new people can go inside? Toasting in a epic

Courthouses have people coming and going during all business hours for various reasons. A specific courtroom may be closed for a closed hearing or because nothing is docketed for that room at a given time and they just don't want people hanging out in there. But low level courts are usually so busy that I doubt a courtroom would be closed for a whole day.

 

[powerbar710]

It's been 4 hours, i fhe was released we would have heard something from him by now. A tweet or possibly a /vlog from a place with wifi on his phone.

Unless his phone battery is dead

 

[AnOminous]

right about now.

The Funk Soul Brother!

 

[MarineN*423543]

Can you guys stop DDoSing vacourts.gov for a few minutes so I can get a phone number?

kiwis unintentionally cut down the internet