🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Procrastinhater]

Want to know the funniest bit about it?
...imagine the shit Ethan wakes up to every morning where none of these things are present, and then you have to add baby caring stress on top.

POV: You a Ralph waking up hungover to your lovely totally not a Horse never-bride opening the curtains to let the sunshine in.

 

[John Andrews Stan]

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POV: You a Ralph waking up hungover to your lovely totally not a Horse never-bride opening the curtains to let the sunshine in.

She’s aged another seven years since this photo, her hairline recedes even more, and she’s carrying an extra 15 pounds of baby weight she still can’t lose after six months. Ralph should have let his first batch of Lisbon attackers do him the favor of blinding him.

 

[Schlomo Silverscreenblatt]

Eugene is an awesome name for a moonshiner in WV. That's probably what he's going to end up as a career if Ralph gets his hands on him in any meaningful way

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

Eugene is an awesome name for a moonshiner in WV. That's probably what he's going to end up as a career if Ralph gets his hands on him in any meaningful way

No that’s far too ambitious for a kid Ralph would raise. I think huffing gas and getting enough brain damage from it to get a SSI check is as ambitious as it would get.

 

[Beef Elemental]

Eugene is an awesome name for a moonshiner in WV. That's probably what he's going to end up as a career if Ralph gets his hands on him in any meaningful way

Eugene is an effeminate name. Maybe not as bad as say Toby or Lindsay but when I think of a Eugene I picture some poor fat pasty weak pedophile like Ronnie who's never done an honest day's work in his life. Moonshiners have names like Jack Daniels. Any booze a Eugene is brewing is most likely toilet wine in a correctional facility.

 

[GettrGriftr]

Damn, his streams are BORING AF! They're not worth sitting through (unless you're having a root canal or some shit), just in hopes he goes all rage-piggie on someone.

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Damn, his streams are BORING AF! They're not worth sitting through (unless you're having a root canal or some shit), just in hopes he goes all rage-piggie on someone.

His streams have always been unwatchable. Watching Manos: The Hands of Fate without riffing is more entertaining than his streams.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

No that’s far too ambitious for a kid Ralph would raise. I think huffing gas and getting enough brain damage from it to get a SSI check is as ambitious as it would get.

Eugene Ralph would have Ralphablood so not only would he huff gas and scam the government, he'd terrorize the neighborhood too. All the other trailer trash, hicks and wiggers would do their best to avoid him but you just don't avoid a guy like Eugene because he has cheap meth when you're desperate and stalks the neighborhood for whatever trashy party someone is throwing. Just imagine, Skeeter is drinking his natty ice and has a nug of weed he's planning on sharing with that skinny girl with all her teeth and then he hears the phrase that sends chills down the spine of everyone in West Memphis Arkansas...

"Oh god damn it. Fucking Eugene is here."

After that you know your night will be shit.

 

[Chiridion]

You're driving in the Appalachian mountains, late at night. Your eyes start drifted closed, so you turn the music up to stay away. Wat da, black people music? You look down to change the station, and when you look up-- deer!

It's too late to stop, you hit the deer full force and it flips over the hood of your car. When you screech to a stop, you're shaken, but not hurt. You get out of the car to see the damage, clear the deer off the road, but it's gone!

Up the hill, a spherical little creature is hauling the carcass away. You strain to see what it is, illuminated by your headlights. It's... it's Clyde Gator Ralph, Ethan Oliver Ralph's retarded hillbilly son!

 

[veri]

one

in the half hour between those tweets ralph hit the bottle a little too hard. he’s already breaking the rules to see xandah

Xander Gator O’Shaughnessy

ftfy full name: alexander gator ralph metokur augustine killstream o’shaughnessy

 

[Expendable Zaku]

Ralph will die… A: on those streets; B: in that ring; and C: on his feet and he would rather do so. Until, you know, he doesn’t.

 

[make_it_so]

Ralph will die… A: on those streets; B: in that ring; and C: on his feet and he would rather do so. Until, you know, he doesn’t.

Ralph will more than likely die passed out on the couch.

 

[free_protons4u]

Can I throw in another contender in the Eugene vs Clyde debate? Neither really sound trashy enough. How about Cleetus? Or maybe just “Diabetes” which will save the devil spawn the effort of having to answer when the doctor asks, “So what brings you in today?”

 

[Blue Miaplacidus]

Ralph will more than likely die passed out on the couch.

My indian tennis money is still on his massive melon dome going through the nissan windshield as he stares at kiwifarms on his phone

 

[Sicko Hunter]

Okay I know the legal shenanigans are fun and all, but Ralph got in a spat with DeOrio again and it gave us this gem:

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BY. ANY. METRIC.

Ralph being butterhurt that a Wikipedia page calling him a white supremacist convicted sex offender was deleted is retarded even for him.

 

[Chantelle's TV]

My indian tennis money is still on his massive melon dome going through the nissan windshield as he stares at kiwifarms on his phone

The forum claims another victim

 

[ManBearHog]

Ralph will die… A: on those streets; B: in that ring; and C: on his feet and he would rather do so. Until, you know, he doesn’t.

He ain’t dying in his feet. He’s gonna die on the shitter trying to gunt out a 48 hour Wonder Bread/potato salad/booze shit. His fat little heart won’t be able to take the strain and he’ll just wink out of existence, gunt hanging over the edge of the terlet, flapping in the wind. Very gay.

 

[AltisticRight]

Okay I know the legal shenanigans are fun and all, but Ralph got in a spat with DeOrio again and it gave us this gem:

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BY. ANY. METRIC.

Yeah, submitted to random.txt.
I have yet to read something more pathetic.

"I AM SO PISSED AN ARTICAL CALLING ME A WYTEE SUPRAMAZIST GAWT TAKEN DOWN ARRRRR AS A MATTER..."
I can't even.

Here we go.

https://kiwifarms.st/threads/random_text-txt.1439/post-12708347

 

[MeltyTW]

Ralph being butterhurt that a Wikipedia page calling him a white supremacist convicted sex offender was deleted is retarded even for him.

Tbf that page was the highest profile most positive coverage of him even counting his supposed friends at AF, with Ralph everything scales different the baseline assumption universally is that he's a rapist pos

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

Can I throw in another contender in the Eugene vs Clyde debate? Neither really sound trashy enough. How about Cleetus? Or maybe just “Diabetes” which will save the devil spawn the effort of having to answer when the doctor asks, “So what brings you in today?”

"Cleetus Diabeetus Ralph" sounds mellifluous.