The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Konstantin Romanov]

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is that dirt? absolutely disgusting.

DISCLAIMER: The following is a work of satire. The events depicted in the below image are inspired by but do not accurately reflect the current state of the tranch.

 

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

Honestly, if Eva's a HSTS I really wonder how long he'll last at the tranch? HSTS and AGP's clash and feel uncomfortable around each other for obvious reasons and tend to avoid each other, even if they might officially "support" them. You can see this by looking who are the fiercest supporters (AGPs) of Rachel Levine while the HSTS ones tend to stay conspiciously quiet or whenever someone like Olly the PhilosophyToob tries to interact with his "trans sisters" (who are homosexual males).

That doesn't even include the race factor and the fact that the tranchers are racist as fuck in a "keep a brown pet" kind of way.

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

Two of their big white guardian dogs.
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Gadget & Gizmo are their two new cattle dogs:
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The Tranchers are such animal hoarders. Even with more than half of the alpacas presumably dead, there are still all the dogs, cats, sheep, goats, ducks, chickens, and whatever else they might have. Lot of mouths to feed on their wasteland...

What sort of predators excluding the troons do live in that area that would need that many guardian dogs?
Or is it a death camp guard kinda situation for the alpacaswitz

 

[Amphotericin B]

They have too many dogs for the same reason they have too many tacticool dress up accessories. They’re penis extensions/replacements.


I don’t recall Penny making fried chicken before. Kinda sus that he made it after a black person came to the Tranch.


They’re putting donors in a raffle for a tool made by Earthside Manufacturing, the company that made the sketchy armor plates.

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

They’re putting donors in a raffle for a tool made by Earthside Manufacturing, the company that made the sketchy armor plates.

That cleaver looks like literal retards shoddily cobbled it together from household trash and I wouldn't use it.

 

[Shig O'nella]

View attachment 3610564
They’re putting donors in a raffle for a tool made by Earthside Manufacturing, the company that made the sketchy armor plates.

What the ever loving fuck is that meant to be? Pitted to shit, dodgy hammer work visible from space, horribly balanced ... yeah, it's a troon grade kitchen tool.

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

What the ever loving fuck is that meant to be? Pitted to shit, dodgy hammer work visible from space, horribly balanced ... yeah, it's a troon grade kitchen tool.

It's a true&honest penectomy/orchiectomy tool. For troons, by troons.

 

[CIS White Droid]

View attachment 3610564
They’re putting donors in a raffle for a tool made by Earthside Manufacturing, the company that made the sketchy armor plates.

This thing looks like it was forged with a blowtorch and a clawhammer in 15 minutes. The chinesium knives you can buy at the dollar store are guaranteed to be of higher quality.

 

[Oxyjen]

This thing looks like it was forged with a blowtorch and a clawhammer in 15 minutes. The chinesium knives you can buy at the dollar store are guaranteed to be of higher quality.

Must…resist…posting…cowtools…

Yeah that’s embarrassing. You can and should make reclaimed materials look beautiful. That forging is atrocious, you’d get fucking tetanus if you prepared food with it.

 

[Winnie the Poohnani]

They have too many dogs for the same reason they have too many tacticool dress up accessories. They’re penis extensions/replacements.

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I don’t recall Penny making fried chicken before. Kinda sus that he made it after a black person came to the Tranch.

View attachment 3610564
They’re putting donors in a raffle for a tool made by Earthside Manufacturing, the company that made the sketchy armor plates.

They made this out of one of their armor plates that failed quality control testing, didn't they. (Quality control testing consisted of shooting a weaponized paper clip at it, powered by rubber band launcher; if the paper clip dents the plating, the plating is not of the high standard that Earfside Niggerrigging demands of their products.)

 

[KiwiFuzz]

Whatever's growing there isn't grass. Perhaps doveweed (Croton setigerus)?

"It has been declared a noxious weed by the state of Colorado."

"Danger: All parts of plant are poisonous if ingested"

"The foliage is toxic to animals."

"If eaten by livestock, the plants form indigestible masses in the gut called phytobezoars which can become life threatening and require surgical removal."

Native Americans used it to stupefy fish.

Host to the Soybean Looper Moth.

"For years Turkey Mullein was the only member of the Eremocarpus genus, but now it's been reassigned to Croton, so it finally has some relatives to visit for the holidays. The Eremocarpus genus itself is not so lucky, though; now empty, it's eagerly looking for applicants to join so it doesn't get forgotten altogether. If you're not happy in Homo sapiens and think you might enjoy being a member of a genus whose name comes from Greek words meaning "solitary fruit," send photos and a DNA sample to the Jepson Flora Project. Or just add a Wikipedia entry for yourself; either should work."

Sounds perfect for them!

 

[Oxyjen]

They could auction the bezoars

 

[retard strength]

Bets on if that "cleaver" was a gift to them that Penis is now including in a raffle to encourage donations to them, and also just get rid of it because it's shit?

 

[Konstantin Romanov]

Bets on if that "cleaver" was a gift to them that Penis is now including in a raffle to encourage donations to them, and also just get rid of it because it's shit?

Cleaver's from this guy, Penny's just relaying the offer.

What the ever loving fuck is that meant to be? Pitted to shit, dodgy hammer work visible from space, horribly balanced ... yeah, it's a troon grade kitchen tool.

Devil's advocate: Hammer patterning is a popular style in handmade knives at the moment. It's in fashion like pattern welding was a few years ago. By only polishing the edge of the blade and tempering with superficial hammer marks on the body, you create an artisinal feel and a reminder to the end user that a real person made the knife for them.

Devil's still an asshole it turns out: If the spine and flat profile of your knife are visibly bent that's not a stylistic choice you're just retarded.

 

[Boris Blank's glass eye]

Devil's advocate: Hammer patterning is a popular style in handmade knives at the moment. It's in fashion like pattern welding was a few years ago. By only polishing the edge of the blade and tempering with superficial hammer marks on the body, you create an artisinal feel and a reminder to the end user that a real person made the knife for them.

Devil's still an asshole it turns out: If the spine and flat profile of your knife are visibly bent that's not a stylistic choice you're just retarded.

I'm not a blacksmith and I don't LARP as one online either but I kinda like watching Forged in Fire and to me this looks like a piece of sheet metal cut and roughly hammered into a retarded "artisanal" form.

 

[Oxyjen]

I'm not a blacksmith and I don't LARP as one online either but I kinda like watching Forged in Fire and to me this looks like a piece of sheet metal cut and roughly hammered into a retarded "artisanal" form.

Same, and also looks like a scrap of 1/8” mild steel sheet to me. Probably isn’t even hard. An appropriate penis substitute.

 

[Shig O'nella]

Same, and also looks like a scrap of 1/8” mild steel sheet to me. Probably isn’t even hard. An appropriate penis substitute.

We could really do with a laugh react.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

What sort of predators excluding the troons do live in that area that would need that many guardian dogs?
Or is it a death camp guard kinda situation for the alpacaswitz

Iirc, they ended up with that many dogs because they didn't initially get their dogs spayed/neutered, which is... quite a choice for ~120lb Great Pyrenees who you just know they aren't training well. I think they begrudgingly got the ensuing puppies fixed, based on the fact that I seem to remember one dying under anesthesia in the process, but I could be misremembering.
Also they just keep taking in animals like the hoarders they are, hence the additional dogs of other breeds.

 

[SlaanyChaser]

It's amazing how quick they are to castrate themselves and induce lifelong disability but then resist neutering any of the pets/"farm" animals to keep the population manageable.

But then again I suppose they need that high birth rate to counter the mass die-offs.

 

[Broken Cuddles]

I'm not a blacksmith and I don't LARP as one online either but I kinda like watching Forged in Fire and to me this looks like a piece of sheet metal cut and roughly hammered into a retarded "artisanal" form.

I’m not a professional either, but an amateur and I can tell you with certainty that you’re completely correct.
-edit to fix autocorrect