The Unofficial Kiwi Poorfag Resource Thread - share recipes and resources for your area (both government and personal) here

[glass_houses]

If you have pets, research the vets in your area. Try to find independent, one vet surgeries. They are most able to be flexible with methods of payment. I was able to negotiate with my vet during a really bad year, and she allowed me to exchange labour in her clinic for her services. Without her, I wouldn't have been able to keep my rats, hypochondriac little buggers that they are.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I've known people who suffered for months with things barely working when the fix was literally tightening a few screws or giving it a hit of wd40. We really need to bring back shop and home ec classes because holy shit, knowing basic life skills does not detract from college prep nor is it sexist.

It blew my mind when I found out about wood braces/brackets. Not for valuable antiques, but it's great that you can fix rickety furniture with a screwdriver, only the tiniest idea what you are doing, and the WILL TO POWER.

 

[Adrenochrome Dreams]

Growing your own vegetables ought to save money, but it often ends up being more expensive because you're told to buy all kinds of paraphernalia like compost, plant feed, slug protection etc. I still recommend it, especially for fellow PoorBongs because of upcoming food shortages and there not being enough land in our tiny country to feed our large population.

To make gardening cheaper:

• Use your own piss as plant feed. No need to buy. Dilute it before feeding, and it makes an ideal feed with lots of micro nutrients. Meat eaters should usually dilute it to 1/10, and vegans 1/3.
• Strip the copper from old electrical wires, and wrap it around plant stems to stop slugs and snails eating your grow. Make a closed circle around the mud of seedlings too small for a stem. I saw this tip on the TV recently, but can personally confirm that copper really works, and I will not be buying copper tape/netting anymore.
• If you live by the sea, fresh seaweed (not dried) is also a good slug deterrent, and fertilises the soil.
• Your own garden mud, in most cases, will be adequate for growing vegetables. You don't need compost. Depending on your soil type, you may need special composts for some crops (eg blueberries need acidic soil).
• Which brings me to my next point, grow veg that do well in your area. Eg, carrots do well in sandy soil, pumpkins do well in heavy rich soil and like hard water. Spinach doesn't like heat, okra needs a lot of heat.
• Making your own compost is easy, all you do is alternately layer "greens" which is fruit and veg waste and fresh garden waste, and "browns" which is sawdust, brown leaves, cardboard etc. You don't need a bin unless you have animals. Just pile in on the soil. Or you can bury it among your veg and let the worms eat it.

I should have added, if you're feeding root veg with piss, do it a maximum of one month before you intend to harvest, because it takes a month to break down in the soil.

Another tip: egg trays make good modules for seedlings, cafes often have the very big trays that they are happy to give away, if convenient. After they're past their best, these egg trays can be composted as a "brown".

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

Get a stale loaf of bread. Day+ olds can (almost) always be found on clearance for super cheap. I like getting crusty types of stale bread. (Baguette, french loaf etc). Sometimes these can be found at Walmart for .75 or even less. Just look around a bit.

1) make french toast with it. Mix some milk , eggs and vanilla, dip bread in it and fry bread until golden brown. Top with maple syrup or whatever you have. Kids especially seem to enjoy French toast for dinner. (Yes that's the world's most basic French toast recipe. Cinnamon/nutmeg are preferable add ins but not strictly necessary.) Serve fruit on the side, particularly any fruit you may have that's about to go off.

2) I'm fond of this poverty meal. It's a super dirty version of Thanksgiving stuffing. Cube your bread and cook it in some butter/margarine. You want cooked but not croutons here. Set aside and then cook up whatever the hell you have. Broccoli, carrots, onions, any vegetable really will work well. Add as much as you like. Toss in any leftover protein you may have. I like sausage myself. Mix the bread cubes back in. You may want to add some cooking stock if things seem too dry. Top with an egg if you're feeling inclined. Cheap, filling and fast. Makes good leftovers the next day as well.

You can make stale bread soft again by sprinkling it with water and microwaving it for 30 seconds.

 

[Spungus]

For poor techfags, Oracle offers free VPS-es that are stupidly powerful for being free. They do require a credit/debit card, but if you follow the rules, they never charge you.

 

[Dirk Willems]

Buy things in bulk from the largest and least enticing stores you can. Buying a $14 bag of rice every two weeks is like buying $1 rice every day. If you're in Canada, move. Check out the foreign foods isle for human-sized bags of lentils/rice. Buy bulk flour and make bread. Did I mention rice?

Stop paying money for shit you don't need, pirate your movies or make friends with someone who runs a private server. Don't drink soda. Leave your lights off whenever you can. Wear a parka inside instead of cranking the heat. Die instead of using air conditioning.

 

[Haint]

Drink water if you are thirsty. Too bad most of your natural, as in free, places are too polluted to drink. That's the price you pay for processed syrup water in a manufactured metal can.

 

[centaursTesticle [CT]]

Sandwich stuff that I've used before
For solo celebrations or to satisfy cravings. Bread is like a cheat for making food.

Some of these are kind of rock-bottom retarded for times when I just needed something to eat after ignoring my hunger like a Sim all day to forget I don't actually have any good meals,, for when you're down to just sauces and stuff in the fridge. Short term transitional between-paychecks shit, yknow. so I apologize in advance if these sound dumb or are obvious or sth.
__________
First things first, always have bread on hand. I've found that no matter what you're itching to eat, you can almost always make it from bread if you try hard enough.

Cake flavor: I don't eat sweets often but there's times where I'll suddenly be like "wow I want a little treat". As dumb as it sounds, take a small bit of chocolate syrup and spread it between the bread with a butter knife like you would butter. Don't add a lot, the syrup shouldn't seep through the bread, just a thin layer between the slices. I've only ever done it classic single-sandwhich-style, but I suppose you could layer up if you want the full cake immersion.
At least for me, this did the trick and i could convince my brain that I was eating cake.

Pizza: Little Ceasers $5 pizza is a blessing. But if you don't live near one or can't be fucked to drive out and buy pizza or spend extra money for delivery, there's a little sandwich trick I settled for. When grocery shopping, dedicate a portion of your money (not a lot, just like what you'd usually use for pizza or fast food otherwise) and spend it on large (cheap, off-brand) bags of shredded mozzarella cheese, pepperoni, and like 3 jars of pizza sauce. It's a lot at once but if you live alone or eat like me it can last you at LEAST like 5 months alone.
There's a lot you can do with these ingredients. Slap some cold pepperoni and cheese in between a bread slice and call it a snack. Do the same thing but toast the sandwiches on a pan or something to heat it up, and boom, it's a little crunchy now. Toast the bread so it's crispy but not actually toasted all the way, butter the bread a little bit while it's still hot and throw your ingredients in there and it actually tastes pretty good. Hell just grab some cheese from the bag and melt it on some toast.
This works because ideally you only really need the amount of shredded cheese that fits maybe the palm of your hand and like 5 pepperoni pieces and that's one whole sandwich done. If you keep it sealed and in the fridge, your toppings should last a long time.

Toast/bread stuff: I'm gonna be real, find something in the fridge that's edible and put it between two well-made pieces of warm toast. It's incredible what wrapping shit in bread does to mask what was previously unappealing as food- and it makes you feel like you're eating real shit and making it too.
Theres been times I've went to bed NOT-HUNGRY thanks to a condiment + a hot dog bun.

 

[Android raptor]

If you have pets, research the vets in your area. Try to find independent, one vet surgeries. They are most able to be flexible with methods of payment. I was able to negotiate with my vet during a really bad year, and she allowed me to exchange labour in her clinic for her services. Without her, I wouldn't have been able to keep my rats, hypochondriac little buggers that they are.

Also for exotics especially its good to network/befriend other people who keep those animals in your area, because IRL exotic friends can be a huge help driving to exotic vets, donating supplies, offering advice, etc.

For reptiles and other cold blooded animals, hoard hot hands if you can. They can provide heat for your animals during transit as well in emergency situations like power outages. A winter power outage especially can be deadly for cold-blooded pets, so having an emergency heat source like hot hands can be a literal life saver.

 

[ten dollars off]

Store a case of bottled water in the trunk of your car so that you never have to buy a beverage out of desperation while out and about. If you're a caffeine fiend or want some flavor, most dollar stores will sell boxes of to-go drink mix packets. Some of them, like soda brand licensed ones will have caffeine in them. Boxes usually contain 6 to 8 pouches, which is pretty cheap per drink.

Check the clearance shelves or aisle end caps at grocery stores and drug stores. You can often find supplements like glucosamine or b12 for cheap.

If you have an inkjet printer or laser printer, learn how to crack open and refill the cartridges. Inkjet refill kits for black ink are around $8 from Amazon, and will refill your cartridge about six times. Replacing the entire cartridge would be around $20.

If you use water filter pitchers, frequently check the household supply or "new" sections at Goodwills. People tend to buy boxes of the wrong brand / style for their pitcher, open just one filter packet, then return the box to Target or Walmart. Those returns end up at the thrifts, donated as write-offs by the stores. I get my filters for around $1.50 each and just stock up when they appear.

Most vision insurance plans don't actually save you money after paying a premium for 12 months, then being forced to buy intentionally marked up designer frames that are only partially covered. Look into online discount retailers like Zenni. Or just dig through the eyeglass bin at the thrift, find sone vintage frames, and have your opto replace the lenses with your RX.

Pharmacies often have new customer bonuses giving you gift cards or other goodies for transferring your existing RX to them. You can jump around to the different chains in your area.

 

[L. Ron Hubbard's Cat]

I like saving money. I like being environmentally-friendly. I also don't have time to do real hippie shit. But there are a few things I do that work for me and others might find helpful.

• Fresh herbs are expensive. Seeds, dirt, and some small terracotta pots at the dollar store are not. While you're there, get some paint and decorate your pots however you want. There's really no reason not to do this, especially for smaller things like basil and thyme. Gardening stores will have packets of seeds for a buck or two in the spring, and one packet of seed will give you plenty to work with. Fresh herbs make a HUGE difference in cooking and it's really simple to do.
  
  
• Other people have mentioned it, but regrowing lettuce/scallions/celery from the root is incredibly easy and works extremely well.
  
  
• If you really want to get ambitious, you can grow a tomato plant over the winter in a 5 gallon bucket with some holes punched in the bottom for drainage. Just make sure it gets enough sun, don't over water it (they need tons of water, but don't want "wet feet" ever) prune it appropriately, fertilize it, etc. Pollinate it with a q-tip when it blooms. Bam. Tomatoes all winter, and it's less effort than most people put into ornamental houseplants. If you live in a place without a lot of sunlight in the winter, invest in a grow light to make sure your plants survive. You don't have to get an expensive one, and for me at least, it pays for itself in fresh tomatoes and herbs alone. In fact, you can "understory" a bunch of herbs by planting them around the base of the tomato plant. As long as everyone's getting enough light and water and fertilizer, everyone should be happy.
  
  
• Laundry soap is expensive and doesn't need to be. Get 1 cup soap flakes and 2 cups each of washing soda (sodium carbonate, aka soda ash) and Borax. This stuff isn't as hard to find as you might think -- even Amazon has it. If you really can't find soap flakes, get some good quality castile soap or Fels-Naptha and grate it with a cheese grater. You can add essential oils if you want, or get a brand of soap like Dr. Bronner's that uses essential oils in its processing. (Pro-tip: Keep an ungrated bar of soap on hand to pre-treat stains. This works amazingly well on blood stains, gorls.) Add some sodium percarbonate if you wish (this is Oxiclean but without the branding) and/or a cup of plain old baking soda. Store it in a water-proof container (if it gets damp, it'll clump and become worthless. This is why I only make small batches at a time and store the ingredients far away from the washing machine itself). Use 3 or 4 Tablespoons per load. Add a cup of vinegar to the rinse cycle if you have hard water (it really won't make your clothes smell like vinegar, honest). I just put it in the fabric softener dispenser, because guess what I don't bother using? Instead, use 1.5 cups cheap hair conditioner mixed with half a cup white vinegar. Mix it up and let some clean cloths (3 or 4 inches square -- old towels or t-shirts work great) soak in it for a bit to make sure they're totally saturated. Wring 'em out, let 'em dry, and then use them as dryer sheets. Each one will last 2 or 3 loads before you need to give it a wash and start over.
  
  
• Save your orange peels in the fridge. When you get a good amount, put them in a glass jar and cover with vinegar. (The peels of 5-6 oranges in a quart jar, then filled with vinegar works for me.) Put a tight lid on it and let it sit under the sink for 2 weeks, then strain out the peels. This makes a surprisingly strong cleaner that you might want to dilute 1:1 with water and use as a spray. It works amazingly well on grease and soap residue, plus it smells nice. Works well on glass, too. On the downside, it might burn your skin and some granite countertops.
  
  
• Regular white vinegar works in this recipe, but if you can find the double-strength "cleaning vinegar" at the store, go for it. It's a buck or two more, but considering you're using it to replace a ton of other cleaners, it's worth it. If you don't want to do the citrus thing, you can always try infusing it with other essential oils or fresh lavender (if you have it) or leftover herb stems (like basil). But vinegar stops smelling as it dries, so that's not a necessary step.
  
  
• If you have stainless steel, don't use baking soda to clean it. Use cream of tartar. It's similarly cheap but it polishes up nicer and doesn't leave that white film.
  
  
• If you have some milk that's gone sour in the fridge, just boil it in a double-boiler until the water starts to separate. Add a splash of lemon juice or vinegar to speed it up, if you want. Strain the curds, hit it with a bit of cream, and voila: Cottage cheese. Squish it and drain it and voila: Paneer. (I wouldn't do this with VERY sour milk, just stuff that's gone past its expiry and smells a bit suspect. If it's already curdling and/or smells truly foul, then don't use it. Also, we're talking regular pasteurized milk here, not raw milk or ultra-pasteurized. Pasteurized milk has the nasty bacteria removed, leaving only the benign, milk-souring, cheese-making bugs left. Raw milk can have unknown bacteria in it, and ultra-pasteurized has everything wiped out -- so if something's growing in it, it's recently-acquired and also unknown.)
  
  
• I consume cannabis. I invested in a decent vape, into which I put dry flower. This is cheaper than vape cartridges by a considerable amount. I then keep the vaped cannabis in an airtight jar. Once I have an ounce or two, I soak it in ice water (like, with actual ice cubes) to get the burnt taste out (two or three changes of water is good). Then I strain it, dry it, and make cannabutter out of it. The vape process decarbs it, so it's ready to go. It's not as strong as other cannabutters, but it's plenty strong for me. YMMV.
  
  
• The craziest thing I do is worm composting. I have a small bin of worms that live under my kitchen sink. They get my veggie scraps. In return, they make fertilizer for all my houseplants/garden. They don't smell, they are quiet, and they have zero interest in leaving their bin. All they want to do is eat banana peels and lettuce leaves and the occasional newspaper or handful of dead leaves for some variety. If you look at the classifieds for your area, you can probably find some for sale, since they reproduce and eventually need to either be sold or tossed out into the garden (RIP little worms). Between that and the free, used coffee grounds most coffee shops give away these days, all my plants seem to do really well.

 

[L. Ron Hubbard's Cat]

Excuse the double post, but I don't want this to get lost in my previous novel.

Related threads:

Household tips & tricks:
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/household-tips-and-tricks.116767/

Home remedies:
https://kiwifarms.net/threads/home-remedies-folk-medicine-and-granny-cures.119956/

 

[Old English Roast Beef]

Laundry soap is expensive and doesn't need to be. Get 1 cup soap flakes and 2 cups each of washing soda (sodium carbonate, aka soda ash) and Borax.

I see people suggest making your own all the time but I don't understand it; laundry detergent costs me less than $5 a month per person, and I don't even buy it in bulk. It's fair enough as a hobby project for Crunchy Moms, but I don't think the math on this works out at all.

 

[Pee Cola]

You can make a convincing seafood marinara sauce with a tin of crushed tomatoes, a tin of sardines (preferably in tomato sauce but sardines in oil will do), some mixed herbs and some garlic. Puree the sardines to maximize the value - the texture of pureed sardines bulks up the sauce and will fill you up quicker. Makes 3-4 serves.

As for where to source herbs/garlic, the cheap dried stuff is fine.

Even the cheapest pasta can be greatly improved by putting a splash of olive oil and a pinch of salt in the water when boiling. Olive oil isn't the cheapest stuff, but if you're only using a teaspoon's worth here and there, it's a little luxury that won't break the bank as one bottle can last a very long time.

 

[Feline Supremacist]

If you have cats, make sure to keep them away from tomato plants. They are very poisonous to cats and can kill them, either right away or slowly (and painfully) by destroying the liver. Tomatoes belong to the nightshade family of plants, like potatoes, peppers and tobacco, so keep that in mind if you plan on growing these around pets.

I see people suggest making your own all the time but I don't understand it; laundry detergent costs me less than $5 a month per person, and I don't even buy it in bulk. It's fair enough as a hobby project for Crunchy Moms, but I don't think the math on this works out at all.

It's something you should know how to do. You can start making soap for household cleaning from used, strained olive oil and caustic soda (lye). It's no beauty bar but you can clean around the home with it. But yeah, soap is cheap.

 

[L. Ron Hubbard's Cat]

I see people suggest making your own all the time but I don't understand it; laundry detergent costs me less than $5 a month per person, and I don't even buy it in bulk. It's fair enough as a hobby project for Crunchy Moms, but I don't think the math on this works out at all.

This saves me a bit of money, though yeah, it's not a lot. I use castile soap and Borax for cleaning anyway, so it's already stuff I have on hand. But it's also the environmental thing I alluded to. And I mean the home environment as well as the planet. There's less packaging, you control what chemicals (scents, bleaches, surfactants, etc.) are being used on your clothes and are going down into the groundwater, etc.

 

[Hongourable Madisha]

After making cheese like GargoyleGorl explained, you can use the whey (the liquid from straining it) in cooking. You can make fermented lemonade or other fizzy drinks with it, or mix it with flour to make bread, cakes, scones or pancakes.

 

[Water-T]

Most art show receptions/opening nights have free food and often free wine. Usually just stuff like cheese, crackers, fruit/veggies, dip but it's better than nothing

Big protip

This is true. A few years ago I was in this artsy area and saw there was a free art show. They had a lot of free fruit, cheese, crackers, and wine. The down side is that this dude that looked like Subway Jared was trying to hi on me the whole time.

 

[Scooter Kid]

Dumb gypsie named Rama constantly frolics around my area with her 20 kids and harreses people for money and food.

Poorfag recipe:

-thinly diced cubes of spam fried in oil with onions

 

[ghostly roasted]

Glad we’ve got this thread now for poorfag 101.

If all else fails, remember the simple formula of Starch + Protein + Vegetable(s) = sustenance and (relative) health. Sometimes you have to eat for utility. Rice, some canned or frozen vegetables, one of the various poverty proteins (the classic ground beef meat log, canned tuna, spam or chicken, eggs from the discount grocer or from the friendly neighbor in trade for a mowed lawn, etc), and seasonings of your choice (condiment packets are also god’s gift to the poor Kiwi) will get you through.

And if you’ve got an Aldi nearby, consider paying them a visit for pantry staples and certain proteins. They sell frozen tubes of ground turkey on the cheap in comparison to other grocers if you’re looking to stay out of deathfats. Not everything they sell is discounted though so if you have the time and you really need to save, price match between them and your local grocer.