Poor thing, he's trying so hard to emulate PK's writing style - the informal, ""witty"" narrator, her handwriting, and that obnoxious "it's a big mistery FIGURE IT OUT YOURSELF" attitude.
About the asexual spectrum thing, what those tumblr asexies are talking about is real. It's just not called asexuality.
I'm sure true asexuals can have romantic interests and accept to have sex sometimes - they're just not thrilled about it. It's like getting a partner who isn't interested in video games to try them. They might enjoy the experience in small doses, but they wouldn't look for it spontaneously.
And about sex-loving "asexuals", it's entirely possibile to enjoy looking at porn, or the idea of sex, or fantasies, while not experiencing attraction to anyone in real life. You're still engaging in sexual activities, so please chop off that "a".
Anyway. When this happens for long periods of time, it's possible to not relate to "regular sexual people". You might end up feeling like you're broken and later realize it's just a different way to be sexual (OR finally find someone you're attracted to), or you might stumble on this sort of tumblr crap and start to believe you're very, very special.