Entire article is a must-read. Great find.
Simpcast
Last night's Simpcast was pleasantly above average, with
CG's very own Cecil making the scene (aprox. 1:14:47) as well as appearances from nearly all of the ensemble show's deep bench of whores (including
Anna TSWG (aprox. 1:19:47) and Mandy Summers). Both panel and guest played to each other's strengths, effortlessly conjuring a daring synthesis of the masculine and feminine energies not seen since
Prince Rogers Nelson and Sheena Easton - Boy versus Girl in a World Series of Love. Fan-favorite autismobimbo
Aston Birdie descends further down the spiral (aprox. 1:29:16) or ascends further up the pole, depending on your point of view, having now become an OnlyFans hot tub streamer since this Kiwi last checked-in. In this stream she did her part, but alas spent an inordinate amount of time barely articulating a cogent thought and awkwardly fidgeting with her bikini top in support of her personal brand:
mentally disabled Babe in the Woods. Perhaps it was merely an extension of the provider instinct that this "show" elicits and exploits, but by the time she departed the stream there was a palpable and unironic sense of concern emanating from the chat over her absolute state. As if there were a clear and present danger that she might drown in that hot tub at some point. Not from foul play or drugs or whatever. Just, you know, forget to not try to breathe under water. Or maybe she'll randomly electrocute herself. Or get murked by one of the no doubt growing list of strange men on the internet who take her vulnerable, troubled naïveté for attainability.
aprox. 1:30:00
Ashton relates in detail having her "Britney moment" aka her new calling to use her life to act-out tragic Tori Amos song lyrics and someday, maybe end up on the back of a milk carton.
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Anna briefly nopes the fuck out. Even Mandy and Cecil (who goes quiet!) seem to realize there is something rather uncomfortable if not concerning happening here to young Ashton.
On the subject of babes, from the mouth of one came later some great insight into a topic near and dear to the CG community as of late: Adolf Hitler. Carmaxia - some dumb slut whose screen name is derived either from the planet she believes she's spiritually aligned with or
the used car dealership chain where her dad bought the flood-damaged Ford Crew Cab pickup she was conceived in - gave
a marble-mouthed, barely-comprehensible (but not wholly inaccurate) assessment of the Nazi leader's failures in prosecuting Germany's war in Europe whilst also contrasting it with America's own ambitions to empire-build. The inspired commentary on German's "big mansion living room" that wasn't "gone about strategically" was nearly derailed by Cecil's (which is also Jon's) perennial bad habit of not shutting the fuck up and thus interrupting a stupid person (usually a female) who is about to say something stupid / embarrassing / scandalous. Contrast this with Chrissie, being a professional comedian, instinctively grasping the insanity that's about to go down and seeks to draw it out instead of stealing the spotlight for a retarded zinger:
aprox. 3:29:19
Jeux sans frontières, CarMaxia.
Jeux sans frontières.
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