Indiana Jones & the Dial of Destiny - Using time travel to literally retcon the series

[SteelPlatedHeart]

There’s been a lot of talk about this film during production(apparently all the test screenings were completely shit along with every ending they tested(all involving Indy dying and the female costar becoming the new Indy), but apparently they’re finally going through with it.

And it’s a time travel movie.

In 1969, American archaeologist and adventurer Indiana Jones lives against the backdrop of the Space Race. Jones is uneasy over the fact that the U.S. Government recruited former enemies to help beat the Soviet Union in the competition to make it to space. His goddaughter, Helena, accompanies him on his journey. Meanwhile, Voller, a NASA member and ex-Nazi involved with the moon-landing program, wishes to make the world into a better place as he sees fit.

 

[Not Jewish Wario]

What a shit title.

It's just tiresome at this point. I'll pretend this isn't going to happen and it doesn't exist. Just watch the first three and leave it at that.

 

[Waifuchu]

Honestly a little surprised this cool new goddaughter character isn't a fat black dangerhair or something.

 

[The Mass Shooter Ron Soye]

What a shit title.

It's just tiresome at this point. I'll pretend this isn't going to happen and it doesn't exist. Just watch the first three and leave it at that.

I haven't seen the fourth one except the nuke fridge scene.

Horrifically lame title. Also, the title instantly reminds me of Marvel and Multiverse of Madness. And it is that.

Plus they managed to make American Nazis the bad guy. Operation Paperclip!

 

[Rome's rightful successor]

What a shit title.

Might as well call it Indiana Jones and the Dilator of Destiny.

 

[Screamer_2]

Honestly a little surprised this cool new goddaughter character isn't a fat black dangerhair or something.

That's a good point you raise. Why isn't she black and/or fat? I guess she must be a lesbian.

There's no other way it will shake out with modern Hollywood.

 

[Francis York Morgan]

Honestly a little surprised this cool new goddaughter character isn't a fat black dangerhair or something.

This is a Kathleen Kennedy project. The lead woman (who will inevitably demonstrate herself to be the most stunning and brave archaeologist adventurer ever while Indy quietly dies/retires to let her continue on) was always going to be a brown-haired white woman.

That's a good point you raise. Why isn't she black and/or fat? I guess she must be a lesbian.

There's no other way it will shake out with modern Hollywood.

Because Kathleen is more shameless than Brianna Wu at forcing self-inserts into her projects.

 

[HandsomeDan]

Indiana Jones and the Depends of Dysentery.

 

[ArthuriusMartyrius]

Oh great, so the plot leak was true. Man, this is gonna be a shitshow of The Last Jedi/The Rise of Skywalker proportions.

 

[Colon capital V]

Indiana Jones and the Dicking of Docks.

 

[Absolutego]

There were 3 Indy movies.
Really 2 1/2.
No more. You can't convince me otherwise.

 

[BikeLock]

Indiana Jones and the Impenetrable Bag of Worthers.

 

[Jewthulhu]

So is this their attempt to make Kingdom of the Crystal Skull seem good in comparison?

 

[That Chris Guy]

Looks dead on arrival. Phoebe does not have nearly enough charisma as Ford, and absolutely no believability as an action hero.

Remember though: that bitch wrote a lot of the awful dialogue for No Time To Die, so that movie should be used as a template as to how this trainwreck is going to turn out.

 

[Johnny Eastwood cash]

I hope the ending of the film is just going to be Indy waking up from a dream

 

[5t3n0g0ph3r]

Is it me or does Phoebe in this movie look like the Brazilian mute, deaf tranny but with brown hair?
I need a Super Cut of this trailer with that stunning Whitney Huston cover.

 

[R00T]

Indiana Jones and the Chamber of Secrets.

Wait… no.
Indiana Jones and the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

Guys I’m having trouble here.

 

[Rome's rightful successor]

I hope the ending of the film is just going to be Indy waking up from a dream

Even that probably wont be able to save this train wreck.

 

[Creep3r]

Is it me or does Phoebe in this movie look like the Brazilian mute, deaf tranny but with brown hair?
I need a Super Cut of this trailer with that stunning Whitney Huston cover.

Its not just you.

 

[Johnny Eastwood cash]

Even that probably wont be able to save this train wreck.

True but at least we can be happy knowing the polt of the movie didn't happen