DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell: General Discussion #2

[ZehnBoat]

There's also accessibility settings to auto-dodge and auto-complete QTEs...

but are they on by default?

 

[We Are The Witches]

Remember, it’s slander to say that Phil is bad at video games. He said so himself.

If you posted that in his chat, I can already see him using it as means to discredit all detractors ("See? These people have no brains (snake laugh), not an IOTA of- uh- intelligence... (sips MiO water)").

On the video he says he's not the "worst gamer", whether he's bad or not is up for debate, but he doesn't understand hyperbole, something he often uses himself.

There are also other facets for what someone might consider a bad/good gamer, like for example, he barely ever seems to enjoy the games by themselves (gets distracted and annoyed by "low" contributions); he never seeks challenge, almost afraid of it but rationalizing it with his difficulty-on-default mindset; he often asks chat for the simplest things, etc.

So under this criteria, he could subjectively be one of the worst gamers, without the hyperbole.

 

[TheGreatWhiteNorth]

On the video he says he's not the "worst gamer", whether he's bad or not is up for debate, but he doesn't understand hyperbole, something he often uses himself.

Phil knows hyperbole, but is too dense to recognize it about himself. He uses hyperbole to discredit criticisms about him by making exaggerating what people say about him to his dents. And of course, he’s conditioned them to listen only to Phil, which nullifies any attempt at seeking what was really said.

Totally not cult-like behaviour.

 

[RaidenAUndertale]

There's also accessibility settings to auto-dodge and auto-complete QTEs...

The absolute state of modern gaming design "let's make an action packed high octane survival shooter with some melee and horror thrown in....FOR RETARDS".

Well, no wonder DSP loves it so much.

 

[Dona Morte]

NAAAAAANI!

 

[Ed Weed]

I remember viewing a roblox stream phils fat ass was doing and even the kids in that game knew he was a moron, with one even directly calling him an idiot.

Anyone got the link to the that exchange? Was funny as hell seeing phil get told off by a literal child.

 

[GunnlaugurSassoon]

DSP's random discussion/rant about funk music yesterday(?) and how special he is because he's a WHITE MAN who BELIEVE IT OR NOT LISTENS TO FUNK is hilariously absurd. He even said "How many people listen to the funk station in GTA?" This mans world perception is so fucking distorted he thinks he's the only one who does anything he's doing. It makes it even funnier when it's a subject he knows nothing about (which is most subjects, to be fair) because he knows basically nothing about music, or even what music is popular.

edit: adding the clip

 

[ZehnBoat]

my brain wanted me to think of DSP trying to make a commentary track for a movie
and now you have to also

every commentary is 10 hours even if the movie is under 2
it always starts with "hello, it's me darksydephil"
filled with snorts and burps
mostly dead air with goat laughs
unannounced pauses so phil can recap what just happened, but phil doesn't let the listener know he paused so you're out of sync
"please donate" speech every 30 minutes
claims of being a fan despite getting everything wrong

 

[Iron Hamster]

DSP's random discussion/rant about funk music yesterday(?) and how special he is because he's a WHITE MAN who BELIEVE IT OR NOT LISTENS TO FUNK is hilariously absurd. He even said "How many people listen to the funk station in GTA?" This mans world perception is so fucking distorted he thinks he's the only one who does anything he's doing. It makes it even funnier when it's a subject he knows nothing about (which is most subjects, to be fair) because he knows basically nothing about music, or even what music is popular.

considering he has stated he doesn't listen to music.....................
August 1, 2022
"Does kat listen to the same music as you? No...................I don't even listen to music"

July 7, 2022
"when i'm driving around running errands i turn on the classic rock radio station i just listen to classic rock whatever's on there um i don't actively listen to music i i don't have time i'm in this office six days a week"

 

[Paladin Derich]

What exactly did Panda mean by this? Lol.

Tell-all book confirmed

 

[Massively Strong Greed]

@Skippy Shortbottom Kirby and the Forgotten Land was February.

 

[detractorzer0]

DSP's random discussion/rant about funk music yesterday(?) and how special he is because he's a WHITE MAN who BELIEVE IT OR NOT LISTENS TO FUNK is hilariously absurd. He even said "How many people listen to the funk station in GTA?" This mans world perception is so fucking distorted he thinks he's the only one who does anything he's doing. It makes it even funnier when it's a subject he knows nothing about (which is most subjects, to be fair) because he knows basically nothing about music, or even what music is popular.

Phil is that guy at work (that is if he had a job) who "discovers" shit and then he acts like nobody else knows about it and treats you like he put you on to it. Those people are the worst because they are always clueless.

July 7, 2022
"when i'm driving around running errands i turn on the classic rock radio station i just listen to classic rock whatever's on there um i don't actively listen to music i i don't have time i'm in this office six days a week"

Phil is 100% a Butt Rock guy.

 

[myone]

edit: adding the clip


View attachment 3991467

maybe i'm really out of touch with american culture, but do people really think funk is a "joke" nowadays? Or is Dave just talking about the zoomer mindset where everything that isn't $currentyear is cringe?

 

[ZehnBoat]

[snip]

shrodinger's pig
he doesn't have time to watch anyone else play a game, but he knows about every other streamer down to the smallest detail
he doesn't have time to watch movies or shows, but he's a fan of every anime, western show, and movie
he doesn't have time to listen to music, but he knows every genre and every band

 

[Guess i'm toxic now!]

shrodinger's pig
he doesn't have time to watch anyone else play a game, but he knows about every other streamer down to the smallest detail
he doesn't have time to watch movies or shows, but he's a fan of every anime, western show, and movie
he doesn't have time to listen to music, but he knows every genre and every band

Ahhhh the illusion of being "busy".

 

[Skippy Shortbottom]

Okay he's just reaching for anything to be different. I guess DSP gets scared by all the videogames according to this criteria.

Sorry that he took a minute to get to the point. I didn't feel like editing it .

 

[Iron Hamster]

Okay he's just reaching for anything to be different. I guess DSP gets scared by all the videogames according to this criteria.
View attachment 3991779
Sorry that he took a minute to get to the point. I didn't feel like editing it .

The silent majority thinks it's scary. This clown is such a baby.

 

[SauceRyuKen]

View attachment 3985434
He is so mad about the playing on easy shit wow
Big ups @Poems_Future for clipping this.

Like Jimi said, here's the thing: Normal is easy. Normal is girlfriend/Small kid mode. If you're a grown-ass man still playing vidya, save some exceptions, there's literally no reason for you not to play on Hardest all the damn time. I'm replaying the old Resident Evil titles and anything under Professional is just not gonna hold me back for more than 2 hours. I might as well just shut off my brain and watch TV instead. Games nowadays are easy as shit and in fact it's not a matter of whether you CAN or CAN'T beat a thing, I.E "Are you a bad enough dude to headshot-roundhouse kick your way to rescuing the president's daughter without getting beheaded by Spanish villagers with chainsaws?", and more "Can you spot the working cheese strategies and hold the buttons to make them work?" Generous checkpoints and an abundance of exploitable mechanics have ensured that even the dentiest wheelchair can get past anything in modern games.

Spoiler: The decline of games and Phil's insistence on looking better than he is

Games are getting friendlier for dudes like DSP, almost everything coming out is buggy, AAA open world slop with RPG mechanics and/or a very restrictive building system, to the point where Phil's hallmark e-peen claim, that he's a souls veteran who has beaten every souls game, rings entirely hollow because he grinded himself to retarded levels of strength in every single one of them and never went past NG1. My guy, any of this board's girlfriends can beat Dark Souls 1 with a STR tank build and heavy armor the way you did. Probably with less deaths. People who don't play at all can blaze through this shit if it only takes three shots to down a boss while the boss has to hit you 10+ times. NG1 with massively overgrinded stats is not difficult, yet Malenia wore the pigroach as a scarf. There's your meme, there's your "I'm ackshually not an idiot gamer, I'm pretty good because I play on Normal and beat the games I play" argument torn to shreds: My man, the literal first non-tutorial enemy in Callisto Protocol folded you like a fucking pretzel. And that game is baby's first survival horror if I've ever seen one.

The stalling is a part of it. Sure, he plays day one releases, but he takes his sweet time so that GameFAQs can get to work and he can follow the guide for the next streams. Phil almost always ends up with some of the cheesiest shit in the game in his possession, for a guy who supposedly doesn't read up on strats and goes into things blind, or as he'd say "Cold Turkey", it certainly gets the noggin' joggin'. His Callisto Protocol is again 80 to 20 in stalling to gameplay ratio. Phil is the one guy who will walk rather than run in videogames. Without TIHYDP, this is straight up unwatchable even through restreamers now. Even when he's doing well, or comparatively well, it comes as the result of a lot of guide reading and playing in the absolute lamest way possible, like that time he cheesed out Maiden Astrea in Demon's Souls, or his slug n' chug playstyle in Yakuza games, or how his RPG strategy begins and ends with "Overlevel, field pure Damage, go nuts, yet somehow fail to ever use proper skills". It's not hard to tell, but this dude basically plays every game like it's WWE champions. You'll never see him go for a fancy strategy, a parry, combos, obscure mechanics or anything that could be even remotely classified as sick, all the Guy does is mash R1, Mash that health pot when the enemy touches him, and mash that dodge when he thinks he's getting attacked. In literally any game. He plays action Resident Evil titles by fucking shooting things in the CHEST. UNTIL THEY DIE. Any time a game offers a chance for playing expression and creativity it's lost on mr I DP literally every time I'm under pressure.

As a streamer, all of these issues are exacerbated. Playing The Devil In Me on NORMAL, a god damn QTE borefest of a walking sim while overanalyzing every nook and cranny of the map is just trying to corner the market on natural insomnia treatments, not providing any entertainment value. Yes, Phil, people play on Hard, and sometimes that comes with a learning curve, I.E ChristopherOdd's Bear bossfight, and yes, your loving fat horsewife would much rather see an actually entertaining man play videogames than you. That's gotta sting, but playing Easy forever is just another facet of being stuck on Level One. Just accept that Normal really is Easy, and Easy is Wheelchair Mode. Nowadays if you're streaming singleplayer Hardest is literally the bare minimum you can do. Even if you're obviously outmatched by it, the main goal is to provide entertainment, and Phil's pigheaded insistence on playing on Normal and stalling the fuck out of games to avoid looking like a moron gamer for the longest possible time is easily one of his worst qualities. Not that it helps him much, since he always ends up looking like a retarrr. But we gotta wait for the TIHYDP for that.

TL;DR: In a world of new releases where you literally hold a stick to dodge with absolutely 0 timing involved, looking at you Callisto Protocol, walking sims, mash square to win while chugging pots and all the other shit the least you can do as a streamer is play on Hardest by default, because my brother in Christ, anyone with a baked potato with two neurons crudely replacing a brain can sleepwalk their way through a videogame now. Look at your wife and how she trounces vanilla Skyrim on normal every time!

For fuck's sakes, SuperBlindMan can beat The Last Of Us on Hard+, by Phil's E-Peen measuring methods, he's literally worse at videogames than a literal blind man with a bald behemoth wife. So what if you die a million times on Very Hard? That's entertaining to watch. Plowing through a game on Normal is something MOST people are able to do now. I'm pretty sure I could no death run the entirety of New Vegas, Oblivion, Fallout 3 and Skyrim back to back on normal... Not an E-Peen statement, just an amazing take by the Pigroach to think that means anything anymore.

Videogames. How the fuck did we go from a time sensitive, directional parry-and-dodge system for a barely used, throwaway melee combat mechanic in EA's licensed The Godfather PS2 game to "Literally just hold a stick in a direction to dodge, you retard" in one of the year's hottest AAA releases? Oh, and that parry mechanic alone was better than the entirety of Sifu...

 

[Crooked 16th]

I'm getting Brain swelling from this rant.

 

[Skippy Shortbottom]

I'm getting Brain swelling from this rant.

He's been on some shit lately ever since he got accused for playing the game on easy. Heaven forbid the streamers make their stream entertaining.

Alright what the fuck. Then this rant was for naught. Maybe these "reviewers" that played the game and gave it a lower score found some shit you haven't. But your 5 hours of playtime is absolute.