The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Flour]

Colorado is so pretty and it is such a shame that the Tranchers are there to uglify it.

 

[A tree]

They're gonna use the frozen dead pacas as an excuse for another fundraiser you watch.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

They're gonna use the frozen dead pacas as an excuse for another fundraiser you watch.

The proper way to frame it is the Tranch scientists pushing the boundaries of Cryogenics, and need your funding to support their critical research.

 

[rotpocket]

So with baby birds, like chicks, when they're too cold they tend to huddle together and this can lead to them smothering the baby chicks that are in the middle of the huddle while the ones on the outside will still be too cold. I wonder if that's what will happen with the alpacas- if they huddled together for warmth, I wonder if the ones in the center will die from too much heat/carbon dioxide poisoning, and the ones on the outer edges will freeze.

 

[Human Waiter]

Ironically I think the barn might end up being the warmest place on the Tranch. Herd animals like alpacas will cram together and the combined body heat will keep the place warm.

The barn was there when they bought the place, and fulfills the most basic requirements, shielding them from wind. Real barns are built with the idea that during the winter it mostly gets sealed up, and carefully controlled ventilation maintains the correct temperature. The issue is that it gets very wet in such a space and that more easily transmits disease. I must admit that alpacas seem hardier animals then I ever gave them credit for, as I thought disease would have decimated the herd by now, so maybe it will still be fine.

Obviously anything not kept in the barn will be fucked. Even the ones in the shittier shed might be fine, as it is mostly a matter of have a windbreak so the air doesn't strip away all the accumulated heat. In all, I don't see this as an extinction event for the herd. The cold will hurt the weakest ones worst, one more strain to combine with their struggle to access feed, and the losses will mostly come from those.

That is the tale of the Tranchs alpaca herd. The weakest are left to die, because the residents don't care about the herd.

 

[AMHOLIO]

So with baby birds, like chicks, when they're too cold they tend to huddle together and this can lead to them smothering the baby chicks that are in the middle of the huddle while the ones on the outside will still be too cold. I wonder if that's what will happen with the alpacas- if they huddled together for warmth, I wonder if the ones in the center will die from too much heat/carbon dioxide poisoning, and the ones on the outer edges will freeze.

Same thought but for everyone in the polycule under Kevin's massive weight.

 

[F13 Key]

That is the tale of the Tranchs alpaca herd. The weakest are left to die, because the residents don't care about the herd.

I thought that was also how they treated one another, the weakest troons were left to struggle, while the more preferred had access to life giving food, transformers toys and estrogens.

 

[AMHOLIO]

I'm on my phone, can I humbly request a photoshop of this with the tranch?

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

Buckle up buckaroos

I chose the right time to follow the Tranch again.

 

[Ghostse]

God fucking damn it.

I just cant stop thinking about those poor alpacas. No doubt they are absolutely starving and probably spending all day standing at the border staring out onto the greener pastures but being unable to feed.

Now it’s going to get so cold.

Breaking my own heart here. Fuck you troons.

I agree with you, but they are rescue alpacas. They are abandoned, unless the Tranchers are documented actively abusing them, nothing will happen, they will slowly die of neglect & starvation at Alpacaschwitz and that can't be changed. -50 windchill might end the suffering of some of them a little quicker.

 

[CIS White Droid]

They're gonna use the frozen dead pacas as an excuse for another fundraiser you watch.

Earl used his vile ice magics to kill the pacas! We need money to hire our own wizard!

 

[White Devil]

I went to college in SLV and I think the warmest winter was -19F. They are beyond fucked.

 

[Funny Trucker]

I chose the right time to follow the Tranch again.

Ther phrase you are looking for is "Pitter Patter Motherfuckers"

 

[Soup Sammiches]

When they come to kick these gross men off the property, I wonder if they're going to find their frozen bodies inside alpaca corpses because they watched Star Wars and thought that'd be a good way to keep warm.

If you think they smell bad on the outside. Wait till they're stuffed with dead tranny.

 

[Winnie the Poohnani]

Earl used his vile ice magics to kill the pacas! We need money to hire our own wizard!

In this year's Holiday Season spectacular, Merry Alpacalypse Now -- The Silence of the Crias, Earl's best friend Snow Miser

provides the festivities, bringing the silent night and eternal peace to the stock animals. (Snow Miser is also known as Death of Alpacas, for you Terry Pratchett fans.)

It's the bestest Hallmark Christmas special of all time, and features special guest star Kevryn asking "Mxtrixx, why are the alpacas so quiet this morning?" And there won't be a dry eye in sight when Phil replies, "Oh silly Kevryn, Santa has taken them all to heaven to play with Baby Jesus. It's a Christmas miracle. Now, who wants cocoa?!!!"

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

If you think they smell bad on the outside. Wait till they're stuffed with dead tranny.

This has to be the worst Christmas dinner recipe I've ever seen, and I follow the Jack Scalfani thread.

 

[Mista House]

Ironically I think the barn might end up being the warmest place on the Tranch. Herd animals like alpacas will cram together and the combined body heat will keep the place warm.

The barn was there when they bought the place, and fulfills the most basic requirements, shielding them from wind. Real barns are built with the idea that during the winter it mostly gets sealed up, and carefully controlled ventilation maintains the correct temperature. The issue is that it gets very wet in such a space and that more easily transmits disease. I must admit that alpacas seem hardier animals then I ever gave them credit for, as I thought disease would have decimated the herd by now, so maybe it will still be fine.

Obviously anything not kept in the barn will be fucked. Even the ones in the shittier shed might be fine, as it is mostly a matter of have a windbreak so the air doesn't strip away all the accumulated heat. In all, I don't see this as an extinction event for the herd. The cold will hurt the weakest ones worst, one more strain to combine with their struggle to access feed, and the losses will mostly come from those.

That is the tale of the Tranchs alpaca herd. The weakest are left to die, because the residents don't care about the herd.

The cold will also fuck up the wool for the next harvest. Wool harvests consist of an outer guard hair - the stuff which keeps them warm and dry. Its a waxy and coarse and is usually used in carpets and rugs. Then there is an inner coat which is the wool you really want. When an animal is sheared the fleece is graded on the quality of the wool and the ratio of wool to guard hair. A good quality fleece will have little guard hair.

I suspect the alpacas arent yielding good quality wool given how poor the conditions on tranch are. Ive considered getting some and seeing what some family who worked in textiles think of it, alas, I dont want to give money to these lunatics.

 

[Old English Roast Beef]

I had a thought the other day about their "regenerative agriculture" plans, but like, for real. Obviously the main thing you need to stop the sandstorms is to stop grazing, distribute the manure and restore the cover grass. If this were a better location I would think to install trees or hedges around the perimeter as a windbreak, but I'm guessing there's not enough water to support that?

 

[Mista House]

I had a thought the other day about their "regenerative agriculture" plans, but like, for real. Obviously the main thing you need to stop the sandstorms is to stop grazing, distribute the manure and restore the cover grass. If this were a better location I would think to install trees or hedges around the perimeter as a windbreak, but I'm guessing there's not enough water to support that?

Depends on the tree species, some are really good at tapping water deep down. Theres some farmer in africa whos been trying to develop regenerative small holdings in the sahel to stop the Sahara from advancing and fucking up africa even more. He had some really hardy tree species that didnt need a lot of water but I forget the species.

 

[KiwiFuzz]

This article in the New Yorker was pretty good, it's about living in the SLV.

https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2022/11/28/what-going-off-the-grid-really-looks-like-cheap-land-colorado?fbclid=IwAR08g5qcMAZnKv6uD2TcKWUhn0GkowTVH1cNSRZCsEumCWeWcYLOp4gzrkk

https://archive.ph/wip/Ss58k