The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[Kuritan Deplorable]

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You're totally right, but when I checked the Westcliffe forecast the other day it didn't look like the cold front was going to hit as bad there. Single degrees fahrenheit would be fairly normal but I think that if it stayed that (relatively) warm the tranchers might be facing an unpleasant time with the small propane tank, was all.

Also, poor alpacas no matter what.

At this point I'm half expecting that propane tank or line to fail. Not in some glorious fireball of an explosion, but just a bad connection, bad cable, or abused tank leading to a leak that drains the whole thing out the day they set it up. The sort of disaster that both fucks them over immediately, but mid term as well as they try to identify what failed - You don't wanna top off a bad tank, or connect a good tank to bad lines. And while It'd be easier to spot, they still get bonus points if one of the animals ends up chewing up the line.

 

[Bob_]

At this point I'm half expecting that propane tank or line to fail. Not in some glorious fireball of an explosion, but just a bad connection, bad cable, or abused tank leading to a leak that drains the whole thing out the day they set it up. The sort of disaster that both fucks them over immediately, but mid term as well as they try to identify what failed - You don't wanna top off a bad tank, or connect a good tank to bad lines. And while It'd be easier to spot, they still get bonus points if one of the animals ends up chewing up the line.

Triple bonus points if the line chewing occurs from malicious intent.

 

[Morobato]

I had not realized the land had been abused so much. Blasted hellscape is no longer hyperbole to describe their property. I honestly hoped that they would do something well, get themselves offline and grew as people. It is unfortunate that it is so easy to pretend to be self improving.

 

[Vesperus]

At this point I'm half expecting that propane tank or line to fail. Not in some glorious fireball of an explosion

We can but hope. It would make a great series finale.

 

[Oxyjen]

Triple bonus points if the line chewing occurs from malicious intent.

That Alpaca had no malicious intent and was fully justified in its actions. Not a court in the land would convict.

 

[The Skeksis Emperor]

I had not realized the land had been abused so much. Blasted hellscape is no longer hyperbole to describe their property. I honestly hoped that they would do something well, get themselves offline and grew as people. It is unfortunate that it is so easy to pretend to be self improving.

During the course of this thread kiwis have lost all illusions that this was ever going to be anything even remotely positive. Initially I even felt sorry for Penny because he was diddled as a kid and I believed he was just incompetent in running his ranch, not necessarily malicious, and that he could improve. Clearly even that was giving him too much credit considering the fraudulent GFM's, the threats to his neighbours and the village, Bonny's/ex-trancher gossip, and now the almost certainty that they're gonna ditch and abandon the animals. The tranch really is irredeemable shitheads all the way down. Every few months is just another reveal how every single main trancher is just a horrible, horrible person.

 

[Vesperus]

During the course of this thread kiwis have lost all illusions that this was ever going to be anything even remotely positive.

lol
lmao

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

Nothing some grifting fundraising won't fix

Captain's log, stardate 01062023
Earl chewed our gas lines again

 

[Mista House]

I had not realized the land had been abused so much. Blasted hellscape is no longer hyperbole to describe their property. I honestly hoped that they would do something well, get themselves offline and grew as people. It is unfortunate that it is so easy to pretend to be self improving.

The satellite pic from earlier showing the damage is really stark. It makes me laugh how all those news articles from a year or two ago now look even more retarded than they did on release. The real question is how long the tranch has left?

 

[Vesperus]

The satellite pic from earlier showing the damage is really stark. It makes me laugh how all those news articles from a year or two ago now look even more retarded than they did on release. The real question is how long the tranch has left?

The point where satellites can detect the devastation of the amhole is the point where you should really just give up.

 

[HackerX]

Sell? They are completely worthless. Alpaca yarn was a fad that has long since passed. The animals are a hobby thing real ranchers get for their kids to keep 1 or 2 of as a pet. There is a reason they got most of the 200 for basically free.

I know this thread is almost 900 pages but its always best to at least skim it some before posting. I'll help you out some with the cliff notes though.
They are lazy as fuck hoarders. They have to many animals of all types. Alpaca, ducks, dogs, cats, etc etc. They collect them all then do a really shit job of caring for them and controlling their breeding.
They collect the whole Milwaukee cordless catalog and tool kits. Then take on one job and half ass it. And thats the end of the contractor LARP.
A junk truck because they saw it in town and it looked cool. It sits dead now.
A brand new tractor on finance to till nothing. Because the tractor looked fun! Lots of selfies where made!
Tons of guns in meme and all different calipers. Pointless Tacticool shit for miles. Consoom!
They do stuff like buy a brand new stainless stove and then never read the instructions so they end up running it with NG jets instead of the propane ones. Then we see the knobs melted off because the burners and oven are just fireballs because of the wrong jets.
The cheap Chinese generator pile. Because ordering new ones on Amazon is easier then maintaining them. Or just getting a legit genset.
On and on. Posting photo's online larping as X is always easier then actually doing X.

My prediction is Phil and Kevin escape to Phil's family ranch. Fedposter J and the 4th troon I forget the name of is abandoned at the Tranch. They fuck off after the internet and heat stop working. And the county is left to come in and destroy the sickly livestock and bury the mess.

As far as the Alpacas, I'm under the belief they'll go with the 'path of least resistance' when they leave the Tranch. i.e. They are going to open whatever gate (as they abandon property) so they can become wild Alpacas. I also assume they'll immediately die from the list of obvious reasons.

Penny and Co like to larp as ranchers, but there's no reason to believe any of them would kill the flock, directly, if it meant less hardship for the animals. And with the sheer number of animals, I don't foresee relocation as a possibility. (Maybe if they put in effort and was able to move them piecemeal, but that's effort they don't have)

So they'll open the gates, leave, and feel bad for a minute. But after a few days, the tranchers will have already moved on emotionally since they can lie to themselves and think the animals are fine in the wilderness.

 

[White Devil]

The point where satellites can detect the devastation of the amhole is the point where you should really just give up.

The Great Amhole of Colorado, the second manmade structure visible from space.

 

[Fartificial Insmelligence]

As far as the Alpacas, I'm under the belief they'll go with the 'path of least resistance' when they leave the Tranch. i.e. They are going to open whatever gate (as they abandon property) so they can become wild Alpacas. I also assume they'll immediately die from the list of obvious reasons.

Penny and Co like to larp as ranchers, but there's no reason to believe any of them would kill the flock, directly, if it meant less hardship for the animals. And with the sheer number of animals, I don't foresee relocation as a possibility. (Maybe if they put in effort and was able to move them piecemeal, but that's effort they don't have)

So they'll open the gates, leave, and feel bad for a minute. But after a few days, the tranchers will have already moved on emotionally since they can lie to themselves and think the animals are fine in the wilderness.

Wonder if they could be brought up on charges of animal neglect if they did that?

 

[Oxyjen]

The Great Amhole of Colorado, the second manmade structure visible from space.

The first man made structure smellable from space.

 

[AssignedEva]

As far as the Alpacas, I'm under the belief they'll go with the 'path of least resistance' when they leave the Tranch. i.e. They are going to open whatever gate (as they abandon property) so they can become wild Alpacas. I also assume they'll immediately die from the list of obvious reasons.

Penny and Co like to larp as ranchers, but there's no reason to believe any of them would kill the flock, directly, if it meant less hardship for the animals. And with the sheer number of animals, I don't foresee relocation as a possibility. (Maybe if they put in effort and was able to move them piecemeal, but that's effort they don't have)

So they'll open the gates, leave, and feel bad for a minute. But after a few days, the tranchers will have already moved on emotionally since they can lie to themselves and think the animals are fine in the wilderness.

Maybe it'll be like Pablo Escobar's hippos and Colorado will become known for an established feral alpaca population?

On paper you'd think they'd die, being left unattended. But they've proven surprisingly... tenacious and maybe scavenging off grassy verges instead of fighting each other to the death over trampled hay will result in less threats to their survival (I mean they'll be exposed to predation and won't have shelter, but that might balance out).

 

[F13 Key]

Odds are if released, they'll either start to eat neighboring ranchers grass and get shot, or coyotes in the area will grow fat and multiply for a season or two off them. But they are a pretty hardy animal that's typically bred high up in the Andes, so who knows, they might survive and become a massive ecological disaster for the entire region. One last sort of "fuck you" to everyone there from the tranch to spread its blight.

 

[PonderosaPete]

I would hope the Alpacas can survive on their own, but after learning about them, I'm pretty sure the population would die off from post birth complications. I hope the locals enjoy dealing with rutting Alpacas for ten years, but mad props to the guy who gets to see the first deer/alpaca highbred.

 

[2525ABC]

Odds are if released, they'll either start to eat neighboring ranchers grass and get shot, or coyotes in the area will grow fat and multiply for a season or two off them. But they are a pretty hardy animal that's typically bred high up in the Andes, so who knows, they might survive and become a massive ecological disaster for the entire region. One last sort of "fuck you" to everyone there from the tranch to spread its blight.

Based off of my mom's one guard paca, the coyotes will get stomped...
The long necks aren't a cosmetic feature, they represent 30" visibility on cold plateaus, and the headbutt and hindfeet kicks are very effective

 

[TEA 3HF]

Alpacas would need to adjust to the foodsources in the area before one could say they could swing it on their own. Even then, if it's a similar foodsource to local fauna, it would cause undue competition for already strained natural resources. The likely end result is the introduction of invasive Trashpacas rifling through suburban garbage bins as a result of the Tranch's staggering incompetence.

 

[F13 Key]

Based off of my mom's one guard paca, the coyotes will get stomped...
The long necks aren't a cosmetic feature, they represent 30" visibility on cold plateaus, and the headbutt and hindfeet kicks are very effective

That assumes they're healthy, the tranch's population of them is probably riddled with disease and half of them will likely starve to death in the first month. Reading up a bit, in an arid desert-like climate only about 2-3 per acre of land are sustainable. The tranch has what, 200 in 30 acres? At best they're raising a bit over twice the number the ranch can sustain, so they're probably half starved as it is. No matter what the outcome of things, the animals and ecosystem are who will pay the largest price for the tranch's incompetence.