Kevin Gibes / Kathryn Gibes / TransSalamander / RageTreb / The Green Salamander - "Am hole:" The epitomized Twitter MtF you thought was just a myth! Donate to his Transformers toy fund today!

[stupid frog]

I wonder if the kindest thing was to say they had a bad accident. At least then they wouldn't have to ponder the idea they did this to themselves.

They would probably be mad they were given the wrong genitals. Rightfully so, if it were true....

 

[FinnSven]

You know, there's a paper about TIMs forgetting they're "women" as dementia sets in. Imagine being contractually obligated to try and convince a decrepit Kevin he's a real lady when he wakes up screaming at his axe-wound. Like, what evidence would you have for that claim? His tastes? His hobbies? His dress sense?

The other beautiful irony of this is that surely if they always knew they were a woman then even dementia riddled, wouldn’t they just assume that puberty fixed them?

And for fucks sake, it’s not like there can be that many transsexuals who had the full snip more than 20-30 years ago.

Clearly a lot of these people must have had reassignment surgery not particularly long before going senile.
There is a certain amount of suspicion that senility/dementia kicks in far earlier than it becomes really obvious, so deciding to cut your dick and balls off might just be some old coomer going do-Lally and the old gender affirmation crowd applauding.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Clearly a lot of these people must have had reassignment surgery not particularly long before going senile.
There is a certain amount of suspicion that senility/dementia kicks in far earlier than it becomes really obvious, so deciding to cut your dick and balls off might just be some old coomer going do-Lally and the old gender affirmation crowd applauding.

The plural of anecdote is not data, but there are a lot of old dudes who get costly erectile prosthetics implanted less than five years before their formal dementia diagnosis. The surgeon assessed that their money was green, same as the car salesman selling a different old dude his dream car that he's about to drive into the side of a McDonald's.

If I weren't a dumbshit I'd say something about deteriorating microcirculation in the brain showing up in the dick first, like one of those turkey thermometers in reverse.

 

[FinnSven]

The plural of anecdote is not data, but there are a lot of old dudes who get costly erectile prosthetics implanted less than five years before their formal dementia diagnosis. The surgeon assessed that their money was green, same as the car salesman selling a different old dude his dream car that he's about to drive into the side of a McDonald's.

If I weren't a dumbshit I'd say something about deteriorating microcirculation in the brain showing up in the dick first, like one of those turkey thermometers in reverse.

The other thing which is concerning about this is that should one want an amhole, then surely it’s better to attempt this when under 25?

I am not advocating it, no no!
What I mean is that the younger a person is, the easier, quicker and more successfully they will heal.

So cutting a hole where the genitals were, and then stitching penis and scrotal skin into a crude vagina parody, is more likely to “heal” or at least set into a physical feature when you are young.

Doing it to a crusty old man whom a simple scratch on the hand can go septic, seems like a horribly dangerous thing to attempt.

Of course I am trying to illustrate that it’s a bad idea full stop.
However, old men trying to become old women seems just to be a great way to stress out care home workers even more!

 

[WalterWhitesTidyWhities]

I think for certain that Kevin won't ever obtain the long term satisfaction unless related to his specific hobbies however: collecting is his only long term satisfaction but he can whine about the time it takes on that too and tends to impulse buy like a motherfucker. I think he might genuinely have a neurological problem with trying to form, plan, or want long term goals.

Maybe it's just confirmation bias because of the internet, but it really seems like there is a whopping contingent of whining tards that are incapable of having the most banal fast food job without launching into hysterics and blaming it all on mental illness and the evilness of capitalism. Usually I would encourage young people to get into a well-paying industry where they can cultivate an actual skill, but at this point Kevin holding down a McDonald's fry cook job would probably immeasurably improve his character.

I do not understand the smugness of these twitter addicts who think they're "beating" Elon Musk.

Adding "launching into a tirade about elon buying twitter" to my list of immediate indicators that I'm communicating with a lower life form. It's like these people just latch onto something that has no repercussions for anything actually meaningful in the world and proceed to have meltdowns over it. Much like the campaign to drop a certain totally harmless New Zealand fruit forum.

If Rowling knew this was going to be the result, I am sure that she would love to retcon Voldemort and make him a transexual and promiscuous rapist of boys who talks about nothing but transition magic and how straight sex should be outlawed.

Voldemort does seem to be trans-coded when you think about it though. Goes to extraordinary lengths to hide the name he was born with, chooses an edgy new name that everyone cringes at, becomes a hideous, deformed freak, and derives his power from a small group of willful idiots who think they'll be able to change the world through conforming to a destructive ideology. The obsession with destroying a small teenage boy who's just finding out what he is in the world is probably just coincidental subtext too...

 

[AirdropShitposts]

I do not understand the smugness of these twitter addicts who think they're "beating" Elon Musk.

These are people who first threw a fit when he started to buy the thing then spent months mocking him for failing to get out of the deal they claimed they didn't want then immediately went back to doomsaying as nothing changed including like a month straight of saying the website would collapse any day and now they've all turned it into a "brave" stance to stay and "fight" and dare Musk to ban them as if Musk's entire stupid purchase was about them personally and not because he wanted to change the moderation slightly but somehow got sucked into buying the entire thing and now has to figure out how to make money on it since Twitter has essentially never been profitable ever. Look at how Kevin and all these other troons have deluded themselves into thinking that Musk spent $44 billion to somehow get back at Chelsea Manning and his daughter even though Musk is an autistic dude who tweets his every thought and has never said anything remotely like this.

 

[Cotton]

>”long hair”
Have…have you seen his hairline as of late?

A wig could fix that, but that thought took me on an unsettling flight of fancy to an unsanitary hair salon somewhere in Colorado...

A big box is brought out to Kevin as he giggles excitedly. It's large enough to contain his latest Transformer order yet its contents are still more precious: a custom extra large wig made of human hair. "Bet whatever cis cunt this came from didn't think it was going to ME" he chuckles as he imagines a woman, shorn and miserable like a cold, starving alpaca, crying in rage. Her hair, the symbol of her femininity, has been taken by a sexier, more feminine, and infinitely superior being: a man Trans Woman. And there's not a damn thing the bitch can do about it.

"TRANS RIGHTS!" booms Kevin in his big girl voice as he lifts the wig aloft like a deranged warlord. He chucks it at his child molesting drag queen hairdresser like a $340 plastic toy. Forcing the wig onto Kevin's famously lardy head with great effort, his fellow queer exclaims "God this thing is tighter than a seven year old!" before sweat and rancid sebum --the bounty of the Musk Slut-- help it slip on.

Instantly Kevin's remaining hair follicles, all on hospice, find refuge from humiliation. His dandruff, total lack of hygiene, bad dye jobs, bleach damage, undercut, and most embarrassing of all --his hairline-- disappear completely under a mass of glossy, abundant hair. HRT is magic-- and so are wigs!

Looking in the mirror, Kevin is overcome with AGP ecstasy and trans joy. He's so much sexier and hghghghhg than a real woman could ever be. "Goddess!" he gasps as trans-transcendency ripples through his fatness and a vision of paradise more life like and real than even Twitter materializes before him:

It is the dawn of the anarcho-communist state and he is looking at a line of TERFs, beaten, broken, and in chains as they stumble out from a rape barn. They are herded by brutal camp guards, dickgirls all, into another building. As they disappear into the facility in a daze of exhaustion and terror, the vision begins to dissolve. But before it does, Kevin notices the sign over the doorway. It reads "PROCESSING AND PROCUREMENT"

"Maybe there is something to this whole delayed gratification thing" Kevin muses.

 

[UncleDaddy]

I hope he does buy a wig. Mostly because I know it'll be hilarious to see what his idea of how to care for them is. And you know he wouldn't waste money on a lacefront or even Indian hair because he's a moron and face blind. God, I want him to know how fucking itchy synthetic wigs are. How long do you think it would take for the wig to look worse than his hairline? I bet it wouldn't make it out of the bag before it turned to shit.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

He should just make his own wig out of all that useless alpaca yarn.

 

[UncleDaddy]

He should just make his own wig out of all that useless alpaca yarn.

Omg he would look like a fat Old Greg. Which is fitting, considering the downstairs mix up.

 

[PuddIeduck]

He'd never get a wig because he's too deluded, he can't accept the fact he needs one.

 

[lightswitchdoll]

"Bet whatever cis cunt this came from didn't think it was going to ME" he chuckles as he imagines a woman, shorn and miserable like a cold, starving alpaca, crying in rage.

Les Misérables Netflix reboot coming 2023

Edit: just realised that would make Kevin the bad guy so maybe not Netflix. I haven't thought this through

 

[lecher]

Not to derail but god damn. He always sounded like a dude doing a shitty impersonation of a gay man but he sounds even creepier than usual somehow here. The weird breathiness and giggles while holding a stuffed animal…being acutely aware this is a man well past his 30s (looking past his 40s too to be honest) makes this genuinely nightmare fuel.

Yeah, Kevin was always creepy and sad, but at least he used to be outrageous. These days he's just washed up.

Kevin was funnier when he could still convince himself that surgery and Penny would improve... something. Now that his dick is gone and Penny can't chew, things must look different.

I guess Kevin knows, in his heart, that more surgery isn't going to solve any of his problems (that is, if the surgery is actually going to happen and they're not just stringing him along). And Kevin must know that the Tranch is a failure, regardless of what Penny says. They aren't "moving" and "expanding". They're being driven off the land by Bonnie and his ma.

Kevvie seems to be content just cooming & consooming himself to death these days, without aspiration or pretense. Which is sad, because at least for me, it's the pretensions that make a cow truly shine.

Some sad content below the fold

---

Kevin "wanted to wait until the move to open this guy"


"Twitter should be the last priority"


Kevryn gets hundreds of dollars for travel and foresees he's gonna "feel really scummy lol" if he spends it on something else

 

[Monolith]

It’s so obviously a trap

Kevin is absolutely not a trap, traps make an effort to look feminine.

 

[stupid frog]

Meaning he doesn't usually feel scummy when he spends money he lies for?

 

[Souji Tendou]

(A)
What your life is? One giant dishonest grift, Kevin. A grift so big even your supposed partners don't know that the whole "kiwis with guns showing up at the ranch" shit is fake. Maybe tell em that when you're in the UK off of sympathybucks again.

 

[UncleDaddy]

The worst part about Kevin is that he is good at getting people to give him money for stupid bullshit. In another universe, maybe he would have been great at selling bridges to Alaska or swamp land in Florida to retired people. But instead he's just Kevin and he is nothing. I cannot imagine the people who are regularly around him even remotely enjoy his company and he has no one but himself to blame.

On a more awful note, maybe it's good the people around him likely hate him. Like, would it be worse having to kiss ole Rotmouth Penny or Shiteater Jen?

 

[AssignedEva]

A wig could fix that, but that thought took me on an unsettling flight of fancy to an unsanitary hair salon somewhere in Colorado...

A big box is brought out to Kevin as he giggles excitedly. It's large enough to contain his latest Transformer order yet its contents are still more precious: a custom extra large wig made of human hair. "Bet whatever cis cunt this came from didn't think it was going to ME" he chuckles as he imagines a woman, shorn and miserable like a cold, starving alpaca, crying in rage. Her hair, the symbol of her femininity, has been taken by a sexier, more feminine, and infinitely superior being: a man Trans Woman. And there's not a damn thing the bitch can do about it.

"TRANS RIGHTS!" booms Kevin in his big girl voice as he lifts the wig aloft like a deranged warlord. He chucks it at his child molesting drag queen hairdresser like a $340 plastic toy. Forcing the wig onto Kevin's famously lardy head with great effort, his fellow queer exclaims "God this thing is tighter than a seven year old!" before sweat and rancid sebum --the bounty of the Musk Slut-- help it slip on.

Instantly Kevin's remaining hair follicles, all on hospice, find refuge from humiliation. His dandruff, total lack of hygiene, bad dye jobs, bleach damage, undercut, and most embarrassing of all --his hairline-- disappear completely under a mass of glossy, abundant hair. HRT is magic-- and so are wigs!

Looking in the mirror, Kevin is overcome with AGP ecstasy and trans joy. He's so much sexier and hghghghhg than a real woman could ever be. "Goddess!" he gasps as trans-transcendency ripples through his fatness and a vision of paradise more life like and real than even Twitter materializes before him:

It is the dawn of the anarcho-communist state and he is looking at a line of TERFs, beaten, broken, and in chains as they stumble out from a rape barn. They are herded by brutal camp guards, dickgirls all, into another building. As they disappear into the facility in a daze of exhaustion and terror, the vision begins to dissolve. But before it does, Kevin notices the sign over the doorway. It reads "PROCESSING AND PROCUREMENT"

"Maybe there is something to this whole delayed gratification thing" Kevin muses.

I did try Photoshopping Kevin into a variety of different wigs last year, but it didn't really help.

 

[Nanashi no kiwi]

What your life is? One giant dishonest grift, Kevin. A grift so big even your supposed partners don't know that the whole "kiwis with guns showing up at the ranch" shit is fake.

I'm imaging future Kevin on his deathbed moments before expiring from a silicone embolism caused by back alley boob injections, only instead of his life flashing before his eyes, it's the entire contents of this thread, one post at a time. How wretched.

 

[AMHOLIO]

I did try Photoshopping Kevin into a variety of different wigs last year, but it didn't really help.
View attachment 4135113

Thank you, I can finally give you the semper fi you deserve for posting it again.

I'm imaging future Kevin on his deathbed moments before expiring from a silicone embolism caused by back alley boob injections, only instead of his life flashing before his eyes, it's the entire contents of this thread, one post at a time. How wretched.

Alternatively, all the seasons of MLP & Transfomers cartoons. Live for the consoom, die thinking of consoom.