The Cole Smithey Thread

DykesDykesChina said:
If Cole produced more output and was rudimentarily funny, he might reach Amazing Atheist levels of fame. In order to do that he'd have to accept that part of his fame comes from his JULAY brother and sort of capitalize on it.
That is, his videos would have to be basically an in-joke. He might call himself "The Snobbish Cineast from 4-Cent Garbage" and do movie reviews similar to MST3k with Sonichu and the American Rabbit instead of the robots.
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We already have a video of Chris fucking a blow up doll. We don't need one of Cole sticking a banana in his ass.
 
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DykesDykesChina said:
If Cole produced more output and was rudimentarily funny, he might reach Amazing Atheist levels of fame. In order to do that he'd have to accept that part of his fame comes from his JULAY brother and sort of capitalize on it.
That is, his videos would have to be basically an in-joke.
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Most Internet reviewers stray away from mainstream contemporary and review just exploitation/bad/dated movies. The thing is it's all been done. It's hard to break in as a reviewer now.

However, as a lolcow, Cole has a great chance. What if he'd become the Daddy Derek of reviewers? What if his reviews were the film critic equivalent to Derek's copyright infringement video?
 
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Achieving any iota of success as a YouTube film critic would require Cole to adopt a gimmick of some form, no matter how nominal. It would require him to appear as a farce to some degree, and his rampant egoism just absolutely will not allow that. Cole has to look a certain way, he has to act a certain way, everything has to follow strict guidelines to him so he comes off as this holier than thou movie connoisseur who masturbates to Citizen Kane and doesn't get off until the bird squawks.

The problem, as we're all well aware by now, is that he isn't fooling anyone. His reviews are dry and his content punches upward to pander to an intellectual level that the majority of the world doesn't have -- and those that do are able to see through Cole's ploy because they aren't idiots.
 
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Super Collie said:
Achieving any iota of success as a YouTube film critic would require Cole to adopt a gimmick of some form, no matter how nominal. It would require him to appear as a farce to some degree, and his rampant egoism just absolutely will not allow that. Cole has to look a certain way, he has to act a certain way, everything has to follow strict guidelines to him so he comes off as this holier than thou movie connoisseur who masturbates to Citizen Kane and doesn't get off until the bird squawks.

The problem, as we're all well aware by now, is that he isn't fooling anyone. His reviews are dry and his content punches upward to pander to an intellectual level that the majority of the world doesn't have -- and those that do are able to see through Cole's ploy because they aren't idiots.
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Maybe that could be the gimmick
 
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DykesDykesChina said:
The sad thing about Cole is that he's too functional to be a full-blown lolcow and too infantile to function well in the adult world.
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My problem with him is that he is not interesting in anyway and thinks he's really smart and that his opinions should matter to everyone but he is just kind of dumb.
 
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DykesDykesChina said:
The sad thing about Cole is that he's too functional to be a full-blown lolcow and too infantile to function well in the adult world.
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That's like being the pencil neck geek in that Fred Blassie song. Too useless to keep, but you can't even sell it to a sideshow.
 
Buffalo Chan said:
One has a life one does not. I wonder what the Julaaaays do to cole on an everyday basis. I imagine the guy is so boring that even trolling him is worthless.
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It would be sort of sad to be just as pathetic as Chris but so boring that you're not even interesting enough to troll because even your chimping out would be boring.
 
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AnOminous said:
It would be sort of sad to be just as pathetic as Chris but so boring that you're not even interesting enough to troll because even your chimping out would be boring.
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In some ways I want to feel for bad for Cole because his mother sucks and he just seemed to want to know who his family was but then you see his videos and read his website and realize that he is a giant piece of shit. He even tries to do things to get people talking about him and only a small portion of the small portion of the internet that knows about chris even mentions it and it's usually just a head shake. Some of his video reviews only have 20 views and at least one was mine just checking how many views it has.
 
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