Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw / Yarrow Brown / the-ghost-fucker / transmascdruid / anarchoenby77 / darktwistedpussy / Druid of Endicot - Xe/xyr ghost-fucker, womb wizard, hand sanitizer sommelier, trans-boomer, violently abuses her elderly parents, has sexual fantasies about raping children

[XxxwernxxX]

That's possibly the weirdest thing she's ever written.

 

[Aunt Carol]

New Dahmer smut chapter just dropped (archive)

(I haven’t read this one yet, so enter at your own risk)

Given the author's preface, does this count as historical fiction?

I have to give her this: you see people writing a lot of FtM Mary Sue characters who either pass perfectly or are obviously FtM but nobody ever gives them a hard time or misgenders them, even though the story takes place in the 1800s or 1980s and the canon they're inserted into is full of assholes.

Staph's character is a non-passing FtM and being continually clocked doesn't faze her a bit. This is a lot of self-actualization for a troon self-insert fanfic character, a genre that you do not have to follow to accidentally learn a lot about.

 

[Pee Your Pants]

I hope that when this story concludes, an American lady kiwi farmer with an elderly voice does a dramatic reading for us all.

When this dropped, I read it out loud for a friend and it was fun for us both to be baffled at what was coming out of my mouth. The still awkward 'you' perspective, the time jumps, Jeff always crying, the sexless sex scenes, her use of homophobic slurs but refusal to type that Jeff said 'nigger', the jive talk, her many ways of saying that people said yes/no that sound robotic (AFFIRMATIVE), the awkward declarations of affection, her cluelessness about gay men, her jarring inserts of modern terms, the dodgy hot takes (he cuddled after the rape so he can't be a rapist uwu), and the many times where I thought I was inducing a stroke by reading it out loud (they're having sex but then she's describing him having a nightmare wtf)...

I could go on - this is Staph's most batshit and entertaining chapter so far. At least she mentioned that Jeff actually put his pants on after sex this time, especially just before the time jump, otherwise he would have spent a year and a half without them.

 

[omori]

I know in a way it’s historically on point but love the way all the other characters are ignoring the red flags. This one dude is terrorizing your patrons by slipping them roofies? Whatever, let him stay. The hotel manager character being described as insightful to others that notices suspicious behavior from him and a disappearing person? Doesn’t bother looking in on it.

Also Gyro’s character. Forget the dressings to make this look like a “you x unforgivable real person” fic, this is 100% Staph throwing her self insert fantasies out onto the wider web. Confronting her rapist by being upset over a one night stand, only for everything to be forgiven with a kiss. Wild. I wonder how she’s gonna have her avatar grapple with the killings of black men and a child and still come of as innocent bystander.

 

[Anna O]

I hope that when this story concludes, an American lady kiwi farmer with an elderly voice does a dramatic reading for us all.

When this dropped, I read it out loud for a friend and it was fun for us both to be baffled at what was coming out of my mouth. The still awkward 'you' perspective, the time jumps, Jeff always crying, the sexless sex scenes, her use of homophobic slurs but refusal to type that Jeff said 'nigger', the jive talk, her many ways of saying that people said yes/no that sound robotic (AFFIRMATIVE), the awkward declarations of affection, her cluelessness about gay men, her jarring inserts of modern terms, the dodgy hot takes (he cuddled after the rape so he can't be a rapist uwu), and the many times where I thought I was inducing a stroke by reading it out loud (they're having sex but then she's describing him having a nightmare wtf)...

I could go on - this is Staph's most batshit and entertaining chapter so far. At least she mentioned that Jeff actually put his pants on after sex this time, especially just before the time jump, otherwise he would have spent a year and a half without them.

I have also been cold reading these chapters out loud as they come out and can attest to the insanity of the experience. If you have a friend/loved one/victim who is internet poisoned enough to laugh at this along with us rather than being scarred and horrified, I strongly recommend it.

In addition to all of the above, my personal favorite aspect of this chapter was Jeff's long ass pauses, for no reason, in the middle of a conversation (I thought "a full minute" was excessive, but later on he doesn't respond for "several minutes"). Kind of a microcosm of the bigger time jumps, I guess? The constant series of body and face movements she keeps giving him are also fun to attempt to reenact.

Given the author's preface, does this count as historical fiction?

I have to give her this: you see people writing a lot of FtM Mary Sue characters who either pass perfectly or are obviously FtM but nobody ever gives them a hard time or misgenders them, even though the story takes place in the 1800s or 1980s and the canon they're inserted into is full of assholes.

Staph's character is a non-passing FtM and being continually clocked doesn't faze her a bit. This is a lot of self-actualization for a troon self-insert fanfic character, a genre that you do not have to follow to accidentally learn a lot about.

I like the part where she puts her middle finger up at the preps faggots nice gay men at the bath house and the one who was yelling at her backs down instantly

 

[Aunt Carol]

The still awkward 'you' perspective,

Second-person perspective is the worst. Especially in the hands of a very amateur author. It strikes something viscerally in me, all right, but not the way they're going for.

The tortoise lays on its back, its belly baking in the hot sun, beating its legs trying to turn itself over, but it can't. Not without your help. But you're not helping.

What do you mean, I'm not helping?

I wonder how she’s gonna have her avatar grapple with the killings of black men and a child and still come of as innocent bystander.

I wonder how she's going to deal with the (canonical) smell of Dahmer's apartment. Inject all the testosterone you want, that rotting-body stink is gonna be a clit-boner-killer.

You ever make the mistake of reading IASIP fanfiction, you know how there's usually half a chapter about hosing Charlie off before the author-insert fucks him. Place your bets now: doesn't mention the stink vs. paragraph about cleaning the murder apartment.

 

[Cake Boobs]

I like the part where she puts her middle finger up at the preps faggots nice gay men at the bath house and the one who was yelling at her backs down instantly

Hi my name is Yarrow Dah'mer Hybristia Ledger Ramirez and I have short enby hair (that's how you know I'm a bxy) with grease and dandruff that reaches my third neckroll and blank blue eyes like an autist and a lot of people tell me I look like Jimmy from South Park (AN: if u don't know who he is get da hell out of here!). I'm not related to Richard Ramirez but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a succubus but my sexuality skews straight and white. I have pale white skin. I'm also a druid, and I go to a magic school called Fraudwarts online where I'm in the seventeenth year (I'm thirty four). I'm lonely (in case you couldn't tell) and I wear mostly grandma sweaters. I love Hot Topic and I buy all my fedoras from there. For example today I was wearing a baggy shirt with a cat on it and a shapeless maxi skirt, compression socks and orthopedic shoes. I was wearing blue lipstick, no foundation because I don't actually understand makeup, green eyeliner and red eye shadow. I was walking outside the exact gay bars that Jeffrey Dahmer went to. It was the 80s and there were minor children around, which I was very happy about. A lot of actual men stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them.

 

[Polexia Aphrodisia]

Once again I feel the need to mention that I have cheerfully read some VERY bad fanfiction - including the one where Snape has sex with the Teletubbies, the one where the Hogwarts castle gets fucked by a squid, and one where cocks were described as "man-fruit thing" and "horrid wet mushroom" - but cannot bring myself to do anything more than quickly skim Staph's writing.

 

[Meowzers]

maybe i'm just kind of drunk right now, and i'm probably in the minority, but i don't mind staph's writing? i mean, it's so obvious she has no idea how real humans interact with each other, but it just reads as normal fanfic schlock to me. nothing particularly spectacular or bad. it's just the content and hypocrisy that gets me going. if staph just said "yeah, i'm into this nasty hibristophile* bullshit but it's just a kink and doesn't apply to how i really feel about real-life issues" is one thing, but she literally tries to legitimize dahmer's actions. and is, you know, fucking ghost-married to him. or even if she went "yeah i wanna fuck serial killers and i love that they killed queer POC and would wanna kill other victims and/or be killed by them, it's so sexy!" i'd respect her more. even if it's an objectively shitty thing, i can respect someone who is unabashedly self aware and honest about a horrible kink.

*how the fuck do you spell that word? can't be bothered to google it

 

[Fancy Carstairs]

my favorite parts are "Remember me, asshole!?" and "fuck off, I'm a dude"

 

[Ophelia]

My knowledge of gay male hangouts in the 80s is quite limited, but one would think people who look too much like women wouldn’t be welcome?

Reading bad writing (intentionally bad or not) can be fun, but something about this just stops me in my tracks. It’s almost definitely the tense (why the fuck are you writing it like this, Yarrow?).

 

[Meowzers]

My knowledge of gay male hangouts in the 80s is quite limited, but one would think people who look too much like women wouldn’t be welcome?

Reading bad writing (intentionally bad or not) can be fun, but something about this just stops me in my tracks. It’s almost definitely the tense (why the fuck are you writing it like this, Yarrow?).

au contraire! i don't have any first-hand knowledge (because i'm a cringe millennial) but i did read stone butch blues and looked into LGBTQ culture from the 80s/90s and those hootin' and hollerin' fags were pretty accepting of those dykes that staph's self-insert apparently looks like. it's always an us vs. them viewpoint with staphy. dykes, fags, and transsexuals just can't get along in staph world

 

[Flaming_Barghast]

maybe i'm just kind of drunk right now, and i'm probably in the minority, but i don't mind staph's writing? i mean, it's so obvious she has no idea how real humans interact with each other, but it just reads as normal fanfic schlock to me. nothing particularly spectacular or bad. it's just the content and hypocrisy that gets me going. if staph just said "yeah, i'm into this nasty hibristophile* bullshit but it's just a kink and doesn't apply to how i really feel about real-life issues" is one thing, but she literally tries to legitimize dahmer's actions. and is, you know, fucking ghost-married to him. or even if she went "yeah i wanna fuck serial killers and i love that they killed queer POC and would wanna kill other victims and/or be killed by them, it's so sexy!" i'd respect her more. even if it's an objectively shitty thing, i can respect someone who is unabashedly self aware and honest about a horrible kink.

*how the fuck do you spell that word? can't be bothered to google it

You really don't notice unless you do a lot of writing in your spare time or reading. If you're used to reading bad fanfics then yeah, I imagine it would be difficult to even really notice what the hell is wrong with it.
Compare her writing to Kelly Lenza's, she has legit good writing, just kinda 2 dimensional characters and flat plot points. Staphs' cardinal sin of writing is how disjointed the flow of it goes. The punctuations cause a disjointed feeling with awkward stops, wording is also incredibly important so fucking up a major descriptor conventionally used in writing (Mrs, Miss, Sir, etc) with Mx (although it isn't the worst thing imo) is a big nono.
It's more puritan peeves I think, someone else with an actual brain could probably explain it better because mine's in the garbage atm.

 

[Pee Your Pants]

Staph got a unique Christmas present!


If you're a kiwi with PCOS then Merry Christmas- you're intersex and didn't know it according to Staph! Santa has gifted you an intersex pin badge to wear in selfies on social media so you can speak for all intersex people and win Twitter slapfights. Don't spend your oppression points all at once!

A sincere Merry Christmas to my fellow Staph fans, hope you're having a lovely holiday season. Hope you're getting Peetie levels of stuffed.

 

[Plague Flea]

If you're a kiwi with PCOS then Merry Christmas- you're intersex

Even by Staph standards, this is an exquisite level of retardation.

 

[80's Dad]

She feels less alone because her mom gets chin hairs sometimes. Not because her mom and dad chose to adopt her and gave her a comfortable life. Her priorities are so fucking stupid.

 

[Ophelia]

Even by Staph standards, this is an exquisite level of retardation.

Is she being this stupid on her own or is there a movement of idiots conflating pcos with being intersex? There might be some overlap in the symptoms (for lack of a better term), but they are still distinct things and must be kept that way.

Additionally, there are other reasons a woman might have hair on her face and/or neck. You can’t diagnose pcos based on some facial hair.

 

[glass_houses]

I know it's been a couple weeks since the Hannibal series was mentioned, but I do have a theory if anyone would care to hear it.

I think she doesn't like the series because it's about canonically genius individuals.

No, I don't mean that it's a show aimed at people with high IQs, therefore automatically disqualifying Staph- look at its fandom, ffs- I mean that the main characters and many side characters have such complex thought processes, reasoning and Machiavellian schemes for the future that so much goes over her head and she feels uncomfortable with this. There's a lot of references to other media in the series too, which compounds the issue. The story isn't contained to what's on the screen, unlike Star Wars, for example, and the amount of symbolism porn is ridiculous.

Dahmer was supposed to be intelligent, but he was indifferent to education and stoned out of his mind on substances all the time. Heath often played dim or apparently dim characters. Jackson played up being simple minded, and Staph is doubtless stupid enough to buy it (in reality, no one who builds an empire the size of Jackson's is stupid. Foolish, yes, stupid, no.) Ramiriez was also poorly educated and abused substances from a very young age, which does not do much for brain development.

Staph prefers the psychological comfort of husbandos that she believes she's capable of 'understanding'. A meeting of mental equals. It'd be why she's not interested in Bundy; Bundy was a very smart lad.

 

[Meowzers]

Staph got a unique Christmas present!
View attachment 4150059
View attachment 4150062
If you're a kiwi with PCOS then Merry Christmas- you're intersex and didn't know it according to Staph! Santa has gifted you an intersex pin badge to wear in selfies on social media so you can speak for all intersex people and win Twitter slapfights. Don't spend your oppression points all at once!

A sincere Merry Christmas to my fellow Staph fans, hope you're having a lovely holiday season. Hope you're getting Peetie levels of stuffed.

i'm sure her mom, who has struggled with conceiving children and had to have a hysterectomy, loved hearing that she's not a real woman on christmas by her weird not-a-woman daughter

i don't think yarrow understands that not everyone wants to be an intersex genderanarchist kweer like xyr and some people just want to be binary men/women. as i'm sure she's well aware, it's offensive to tell anyone that they're not really the gender/sex they identify as. (in xyr's eyes anyway. PCOS = intersex is such a retarded take)

 

[Pee Your Pants]

New Twitter name change:

It reads like the sort of thing someone who has hacked into an account would change it to, so people knew to avoid engaging with that person.

She went on a massive pro Dahmer mom/anti Dahmer dad rant on Twitter yesterday that really isn't worth capping. It's a long thread which is just her reeling off things that she's read to prove her point of his mom trying to help Dahmer/dad did fuck all. It ended with this though.
lol imagine hearing violent sobbing through the wall during Christmas dinner and random shouts of 'FUCK YOU RYAN! JEFFREY DAHMER'S DAD DIDN'T EVEN SUPPORT HIS SON'S TAXIDERMY HOBBY!'


I hate to say this after her super retarded take on PCOS but she actually looks kind of... nice here? Sure, still a dumpy fuck, but it's a much more flattering angle and she has a nicer smile than her usual smug smirk. She could pass as a normal teenage lesbian (except she's none of those things). Maybe Christmas has warped my perspective though.

I also did some digging into this 'plant dieta' she keeps banging on about doing next month and this explanation came up. It would be helpful if the plant that she is communing with told her that she must give up GERD inducing food in that time.