MavisBeaconTeachesSnipin
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Sep 16, 2020
does he post selfies anymore? last I saw him was that local news piece and I was shocked at how awful he looked. his drunk ass aging double speed with the stress of texting stalkers back.
edit- holy fucking lmao that arrow story is one of the stupiest short stories I've ever read. patty I am seriously loling irl at you right now. attaching plain text so mobile niggas can read it without download.
Unerring
By Patrick S. Tomlinson
Through gossamer green threads of magic, life flowed from my master’s fingertips and into my fletchings. I was born. Surrounded by my sleeping brothers inside the quiver, I was blind to the world outside. His spell-weaving complete, my master’s hand plucked me free and bathed me in light.
I arrived in a world awash with battle and blood. Splintered shields and tattered bodies littered the grove of apple trees where my master fought. Not far from his feet, a War Herald lay face down, pinned to the ground by a broken spear. A tilted crown with a sword passing through it adorned his banner. Its vibrant red and white were dulled by mud ground into it by many feet. My feathers shared the colors.
A taut, waxed string slipped into the crevice of my knock. I rested lightly atop my master’s gloved hand. To the left, I could see what remained of the line of archers; no more than a dozen were left standing. Even as I watched, another fell to a well-aimed spear.
“Ready!” my master commanded.
My attention turned forward. My shaft rubbed against the creaking wood of the bow as I was drawn back. Directly ahead, a marauder charged in, holding an immense battle-ax high above his red-painted head. Its honed edge, already soaked with the lifeblood of our comrades, glinted in the sun.
“Aim!”
My master’s hand did not waiver. He looked past the charging threat and fixed my tip on a figure standing behind a line of soldiers with tower shields, partially obscured by the weeping branches of a willow, perhaps a hundred arm-span distance from where he stood.
My feathers pressed against my master’s cheek as he aligned me with his intentions. The red-headed fanatic was close enough to smell, his ax in position to cleave my master. He ignored him, too focused on his target to be distracted.
“Loose!”
His fingers relaxed. My knock took the full weight of the string just as the fanatic’s ax swung in. My shaft bent and flexed painfully as the bow’s energy thrust me forward. My fletchings dragged against the side of the bow and I was flying freely through air that smelled of sweat and apple blossoms.
A blow mighty enough to fell a tree crashed into my master, silencing him before I had glanced his face. I didn’t even know his name. His mission was now mine, and the only hope of avenging his passing rested within the iron of my head. Still contorting from the force of my launch, I flew onward.
The other members of my volley soared ahead like a flock of razor-beaked birds, ready and eager to carry out orders of their own. We had been launched from the cover of the trees, but on the open field, scenes of carnage panned out beneath us.
Dead men, still clad in their shining armor, marked where our line had broken. Horses, cut down with swords or impaled by pikes, writhed while their crown and sword banners fluttered in the wind. The crimson tides of battle had not favored my master’s forces.
The lone willow tree marked the center of the field. We had to weave our way through its branches or risk loosing the force of our launch. I looked past the branches, focusing instead on the open spaces. I missed all but a single green shoot, slicing it clean through and tasting its bitter sap. One of my brothers chose the wrong path. With a loud Thunk, his metal-tipped head buried a finger deep into a branch as thick as a man’s thigh.
We emerged through the branches, still short of our target. A small man, stooped-over from the weight of time, drove a crystal-tipped staff into the ground. The crystal flashed, spawning a miniature cyclone. A tempest lashed towards our flock like a whip. Two of my brothers succumbed instantly, their shafts stripped of feathers.
The gale struck me and grabbed at my fletchings, trying to pluck me like a chicken. Whistling and howling, it mocked me as I strained to keep my line. But my master had been strong. He gifted me with cunning as well as determination. I slipped through the gusts, flexing and twisting instead of fighting against them.
When I emerged, my goal was within sight. Those of my volley who had survived zeroed in on our prize. One veered into the ground as a feather ripped loose.
For all our speed, we were not invisible. The guards closed ranks to protect their leader, raising and overlapping their shields into a solid wall of wood and leather. I knew from my brother lost in the willow branch that I could not hope to pierce it. From my position at the back of the flock, I watched as the others struggled to gain altitude in the few arm-spans left before they hit the shields.
Four failed to pull up in time and wasted themselves against the impenetrable wall. But in our first morsel of good fortune, one found a space through a carelessly held shield and struck the bearer solidly in his stomach. He doubled over in pain, dropping hi shield arm just enough for me to pass overtop.
With all of my might, I curled my feathers and flexed my shaft towards the sky. My head crossed over the lip of the shield, but in the last finger-span, one of my fletchings grated against the wood, tearing half of it free.
The sky and ground switched places over and over as I spun unbalanced through the air. I tried to right myself, but the force was too great. Still rolling violently, I searched desperately for my objective. I grew dizzy.
Less than an arm-span ahead, the last of my brothers still flew. I realized he would lead the way. I followed him in, hoping against all reason that I could still accomplish the task my slain master had assigned me.
Still spinning, and with my sight locked onto his knock, we pressed on. I could make out a silhouette ahead, cloaked in chainmail, sword in hand, poised to hack us into toothpicks.
My surviving brother fell under the shadow of the blade as it slashed downward, catching him mid-shaft. The force of the blow broke his spine and he folded in half. I wanted to cry out as his splintered remains splashed harmlessly against the rings of our target’s armor.
Even as I raged against the loss of my comrade, a door opened. So small was the chink, I almost missed it. As his arm came down, a thin band of flesh presented itself just below his jaw line.
Through the tumbling vertigo, I arched my keen tip towards the soft strip of pink. If I could get past the hammer-forged iron of the mail, my head would cut through the sweat-slicked skin like sheer parchment. I homed in, straining against my own fibers to complete the turn.
His arm arched back up, carrying the murderous edge of his sword up towards my shaft. The pink ribbon of his vulnerability narrowed, along with my one chance at fulfillment.
With my last reserves of strength, I willed myself towards his neck. His sword reached me, snapping the shaft just ahead of my fletchings like a twig.
But it was a beat too late.
My tip pierced his skin, and the rusty taste of blood washed over me. Momentum drove me deeper, through a bloodway and into his windpipe. By the time I stopped, my head had erupted back into the light.
I never learned the names of my master, nor his enemy. Never knew the reasons for their conflict. But those were not contemplations for a weapon. I had a singular purpose, and I had performed it. As my foe crashed heavily to the ground, and the life bestowed upon me returned to the ether, I felt only a profound sense of contentment.
Tomlinson / Unerring
edit 2- fuck I'm too lazy to work around my twitter ban but someone please make "Patrick S. Tomlinson's Arrow" and have it talk at him in this pretentious voice
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