🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Douglas Mortimer]

Just think the average ancient Roman was taller than Ralph is

 

[Cat Milk]

This is the sort of thing that matters to Ralph, not his wife or child or his health or even his sideshow of a life in general, it's ratioing Keemstar, quite the W ralph, you sad freak.

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Can't archive for some reason.

https://twitter.com/TheRalphRetort/status/1617631052515926016

i thought that a 28 year old tranny seeking validation from twitter points was sad and pathetic but somehow a man thats like 38 slap fighting online with a 40yr old and bragging about getting like 100 more likes is even gayer

 

[not william stenchever]

Well, Rome is pretty much flat terrain so there is no risk of a heart attack by waddling uphill. As his lolcow physician, i approve.

Throwing people off a bridge into the Tiber River is something that has happened from time to time in the history of Rome.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

more like 15-20 hours
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I can only imagine the heated conversation with May about this. Little piggy stomping his hooves on the floor and getting frustrated his wife doesn't approve of his reckless spending for the sake of spending ideas. I hope he goes alone just to spite May, and May somehow evacuates Mexico with the baby. I wish, but Gunt is too afraid to leave her unmonitored.

I know Gunt will finally prove how rich and successful he is by taking his family on a five star Italian holiday because he found cheap tickets.

Flying coach he can then use his big bucks to stay at the St Regis in Rome, eat amazing meals. Definitely take Pantsu to Milan to shop on the Via Montenapoleone and make up for that $200 prom dress and cheap Vegas wigger wedding. Ralph is obviously flush so he should get himself a real custom tailored suit, trash that cheap men’s warehouse crap he wore to Florida.

Yes sir, the Gunt could really prove he’s a baller by going to Italy. Those coach tickets are calling your name Ralph.

 

[Mango Cobra]

oh God please yes let us have a beatdown in the Eternal City

I have a friend who knows about Ralph who lives in Rome, I unironically hope he finds him and makes fun of his height & gunt, at the very least.

Ralph, I know you read these threads. Don't go to Costa Rica and stream, I know for a fact you'll get gunt-hunted by the Costa Ricans.

 

[Telemeter]

Ralph is too much of a pussy to go to Rome.

He would never ever set foot in Europe again after getting pounded 2 times.

Also, he's too poor to afford it.

 

[Bepis]

Can't wait for all the "my ancestor " memes once the vacation photos come out

 

[REGENDarySumanai]

Ethan Ralph's travels is the arcade mode of Street Fighter 2, except he gets beaten up every round.

 

[Mango Cobra]

Ethan Ralph's travels is the arcade mode of Street Fighter 2, except he gets beaten up every round.

So he's the real life Wimp-Lo who thinks getting his ass beat is "Five Star Days"?

 

[Pelican Bones]

I really hope Ralph doesn't rent a motorcycle while he's there and gets really bad ass video of himself revving the bike real loud and hauling ass up and down the narrow roads in Rome with no helmet and cool sunglasses. Null would literally die from being owned that hard.

 

[Obscura539]

I really hope Ralph doesn't rent a motorcycle while he's there and gets really bad ass video of himself revving the bike real loud and hauling ass up and down the narrow roads in Rome with no helmet and cool sunglasses. Null would literally die from being owned that hard.

Do you really think that Ralph of all people would even ride a scooter in Rome? He is the biggest pussy of North America. Do they even make scooters with that sort of load capacity? I would bet 5 servings of cochinita pibil he hasn't ever touched a motorcycle.

 

[PyrrhicRustle]

Throwing people off a bridge into the Tiber River is something that has happened from time to time in the history of Rome.

The traditional method of execution for the worst of the worst in Ancient Rome was to throw them off the Tarpeian Rock on the Capitoline Hill.

 

[LadiosSopp]

T / A
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I have no clue whats this about

"Welp, my horse said no to $1000 we didn't have on the Bengals, why not waste $1400 on a frivolous trip to Rome in the midst of my legal troubles?"

Ralph truly is a creature of mystery.

 

[Lorne Armstrong]

I predict that if Gunt goes to Rome that he’ll get the shit kicked out of him by the guys that hang around the Coliseum dressed as gladiators and centurions and shit like that and hassle tourists for money for pictures with them.

 

[Pitbull Victim]

He's going to Rome to visit the tomb of his ancestor emperor Vitellius (The original gunted Caesar).

WHY WON'T YOU DIE, VESPASIAN!


He really is Ralph's ancestor:

 

[AnOminous]

The traditional method of execution for the worst of the worst in Ancient Rome was to throw them off the Tarpeian Rock on the Capitoline Hill.

Beats a slow crucifixion.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

"Welp, my horse said no to $1000 we didn't have on the Bengals, why not waste $1400 on a frivolous trip to Rome in the midst of my legal troubles?"

Ralph truly is a creature of mystery.

Ralph tries to flex hard in his own weird wigger way when he’s broke. It’s important for everyone on Twitter to know he could buy tickets to Rome if he wanted too.

He’s also forever assblasted and jealous Null is an international man of mystery and he’s stuck in a third world Airbnb for pensioners.

 

[HackerX]

You know when most couples are in the honeymoon phase they rarely leave each others side and can't get enough of each other. Ralph on the other hand is doing everything he can to get away from May. But they are so totally in love and are a happy couple you broke dick losers of the Fan Fic Farms!

To be fair, this is the longest stretch he hasn't been very far from May. I think last time when he spent a month on Portugal to get beat up...again. IIRC, his lease was coming up during that timeframe, so that trip could have been a 'two birds with one stone' situation. Escape Pantsu and avoid being there when the owner found out about the damages.

I’m guessing he is trying to brag that he has $1400 dollars for a cheap flight to Rome? I’m all for it. I am dying to see some more Ralph in the wild photos.

Such simpler times.

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Not that Ralph has ever been svelt, he Looks 50 lbs lighter on this pic. Could be due to angle/distance though. Wasn't the supposed to kill himself if he didn't lose weight last summer? I wonder how that's working out for him.

Have fucking fun taking an infant on a plane for 10 hours.

There is no world where Ethan brings Pantsu and Reroll anywhere other than an AF convention or a Ralphaevent. Any money earned in that household is his and his alone, and he decides how to burn it.

 

[Don'tAnalizeMeBro!]

Ralph is too much of a pussy to go to Rome.

He would never ever set foot in Europe again after getting pounded 2 times.

Also, he's too poor to afford it.

Besides, where the World Travelin' Gunt SHOULD go is China!

 

[CamelToe]

I have a friend who knows about Ralph who lives in Rome, I unironically hope he finds him and makes fun of his height & gunt, at the very least.

Ralph, I know you read these threads. Don't go to Costa Rica and stream, I know for a fact you'll get gunt-hunted by the Costa Ricans.

Don’t go to Guatemala in the last week of march either