Snowflake Jack Monroe / Melissa "Mel" Hadjicostas / Jack Xatzinikolas / @BootstrapCook - Spaghetti hoop rinser who wants to live like Common People, the face of poverty in Britain, literally can't lie

[Product Placement]

Found some random youtubes of her
In this video she admits she didn't vote in Brexit. For the video they found someone even dumber for her to talk to.

Video of her cooking if you want to see her "skills", also she uses pre chopped tomatoes and tinned potatoes (which doesn't even make sense if you are poor)

Video with fellow famous brit cow Russel Brand

Some tips for the people at mumsnet.

 

[Fareal]

There’s been a powerful aroma of the JT LeRoys about Jack Monroe for some time. With the noted differences that Melissa plays her fictional character herself, and Laura Albert could actually write.

 

[everybody in Portugal]

There’s been a powerful aroma of the JT LeRoys about Jack Monroe for some time. With the noted differences that Melissa plays her fictional character herself, and Laura Albert could actually write.

Also JT was vaguely sympathetic in certain passages while Jack is 24/7 insufferable. But still, I see the resemblance now you point it out!

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Ooh, Jack Monroe finally got a thread here? Great OP! Dunno why she’s in general lolcows instead of BP, though.

Tattle seems to be like British You Talk Trash from the looks of it? YTT does the same new thread every 50 pages tactic. The recipe review threads do make me lol when they actually have recipes being reviewed, however.

Found some random youtubes of her
In this video she admits she didn't vote in Brexit. For the video they found someone even dumber for her to talk to.

Video of her cooking if you want to see her "skills", also she uses pre chopped tomatoes and tinned potatoes (which doesn't even make sense if you are poor)

Video with fellow famous brit cow Russel Brand

Some tips for the people at mumsnet.

Isn’t voting in the UK a lot easier than in Burgerland? I remember watching Brexit coverage when it happened and the amount of millennials surprised Pikachu faced that their joke vote of separating or not voting at all impacted the result was painful to watch. People have died for this right you twats.

Slightly OT but canned potatoes? Really? Potatoes last forever as is and are still relatively cheap? Or at least go on sale regularly. I know the UK economy got super AIDS before the US did. You can’t tell me canned potatoes would be preferable even now to good ol’ potato sacks. But this is Jack…

 

[Product Placement]

Ooh, Jack Monroe finally got a thread here? Great OP! Dunno why she’s in general lolcows instead of BP, though.

Tattle seems to be like British You Talk Trash from the looks of it? YTT does the same new thread every 50 pages tactic. The recipe review threads do make me lol when they actually have recipes being reviewed, however.



Isn’t voting in the UK a lot easier than in Burgerland? I remember watching Brexit coverage when it happened and the amount of millennials surprised Pikachu faced that their joke vote of separating or not voting at all impacted the result was painful to watch. People have died for this right you twats.

Slightly OT but canned potatoes? Really? Potatoes last forever as is and are still relatively cheap? Or at least go on sale regularly. I know the UK economy got super AIDS before the US did. You can’t tell me canned potatoes would be preferable even now to good ol’ potato sacks. But this is Jack…

Looking online not common, costs more and mostly for people too lazy to peel potatoes them self. Hell if you are super poor, don't throw away potatoes skins, they can make a good side dish on their own

 

[Carpe Jugulum]

Looking online not common, cost more and mostly for people too lazy to peel potatoes them self. Hell if you are super poor, don't throw away potatoes skins, they can make a good side dish on their own

They’re also vile. A 2.5.kg pack of maris pipers will cost you about £1.50-£2 and will go much, much further.

Crispy potato skins are scrummy especially with a dip of your choice.

 

[frap]

Ooh, Jack Monroe finally got a thread here? Great OP! Dunno why she’s in general lolcows instead of BP, though.

Now this has me curious—why BP over lolcows? Because a mod suggested the same before moving the thread and I said I’d only considered lolcows probably because I’m not so familiar with BP and I’d leave it to their judgement.

If anyone with more knowledge wants to request it be moved, please do go ahead. I’d rather her thread be where she’ll get the right/active audience.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Looking online not common, costs more and mostly for people too lazy to peel potatoes them self. Hell if you are super poor, don't throw away potatoes skins, they can make a good side dish on their own

They’re also vile. A 2.5.kg pack of maris pipers will cost you about £1.50-£2 and will go much, much further.

Crispy potato skins are scrummy especially with a dip of your choice.

I figured. Canned potatoes sound vile. I also never ever see people buy them, let alone suggest recipes calling for them. Prices for a 5 pound bag are similar stateside, by the way.

Potato peels can also be used to make vegetable broth or soup stock. Some people also compost peels.

Now this has me curious—why BP over lolcows? Because a mod suggested the same before moving the thread and I said I’d only considered lolcows probably because I’m not so familiar with BP and I’d leave it to their judgement.

If anyone with more knowledge wants to request it be moved, please do go ahead. I’d rather her thread be where she’ll get the right/active audience.

Beauty Parlor is mostly read by women and Jack’s audience is mostly women. I’ve seen Jack recommended on the Farms before (both as lolcow and as a legit source by people that don’t know what a fraud she is) and it’s always a woman mentioning her.

 

[CaptainRockall]

Would be a shame for Jack if somebody sent '30p Lee' i.e. Lee Anderson MP for the Parliamentary Constituency of Ashfield a link to this thread

Hehe.

 

[frap]

Beauty Parlor is mostly read by women and Jack’s audience is mostly women. I’ve seen Jack recommended on the Farms before (both as lolcow and as a legit source by people that don’t know what a fraud she is) and it’s always a woman mentioning her.

Ohhhh! That makes sense. Request sent.

 

[Geranium]

Isn’t voting in the UK a lot easier than in Burgerland?

I only skipped through the video - what did she say? (Can't bring myself to watch it because Brexit Derangement Syndrome is perhaps even worse than Trump Derangement Syndrome.)

Spoiler: OT election sperging

But yes, voting in the UK is largely a doddle. Local authorities (councils) are responsible for voter registration and organising elections but, unlike the state-by-state situation in the US, election law is set centrally. Applying for postal and proxy votes is straightforward.

There was a change in 2013 that put the responsibility for registering to vote on the individual (rather than the "head of the household" as before), which prompted some to argue that it was likely to lead to a decrease in voter registration. That hasn't been borne out, with 2019 seeing the highest ever number of people registered to vote.

 

[Product Placement]

They’re also vile. A 2.5.kg pack of maris pipers will cost you about £1.50-£2 and will go much, much further.

Crispy potato skins are scrummy especially with a dip of your choice.

Mean it just says everything, she has no idea how to cook (the curry looks watery as all hell) but her tips don't even make financial sense. Honestly want to dig into more of her cooking videos and see how bad it gets.

 

[keytar]

Congrats to Jack on making it out of PG! Might even rustle up some gourmet tinned tatties and watery hoops for the occasion

 

[Geranium]

Honestly want to dig into more of her cooking videos and see how bad it gets.

I scraped her (neglected) YouTube channel and what I could find of her from searching YouTube. Struck me while going through the videos that it's so strange that she stayed so poor for so long despite being heavily promoted by the Guardian (in particular), the Edinburgh Book Festival, breakfast TV… I'll reply with the videos and group the cooking ones together.

Part of me wants to organise a KF "cook-club" where we attempt her recipes.

Edit: Didn't realise she'd done an advert for Samsung.

Edit edit:

From the second video: “I can work at the gym.”

Nothing says poverty like paying £40 a month for a gym membership.

 

[keytar]

I scraped her (neglected) YouTube channel and what I could find of her from searching YouTube. Struck me while going through the videos that it's so strange that she stayed so poor for so long despite being heavily promoted by the Guardian (in particular), the Edinburgh Book Festival, breakfast TV… I'll reply with the videos and group the cooking ones together.

Part of me wants to organise a KF "cook-club" where we attempt her recipes.

I would attempt her recipes in the name of science. I also sorta wanna try making some of KingCobraJFS's 'recipes' out of morbid curiosity. I know some kiwis tried out Anna Johnson's cinnamon stevia abominations but that I think that's where I'd draw the line personally...

 

[East_Clintwood]

Struck me while going through the videos that it's so strange that she stayed so poor for so long despite being heavily promoted by the Guardian (in particular), the Edinburgh Book Festival, breakfast TV…

It's less strange when you read her interview where she admits to drunkenly buying shite on the internet.

Part of me wants to organise a KF "cook-club" where we attempt her recipes.

God speed to any of you crazy bastards who are willing, but having had a quick look through her most recent book yesterday I couldn't find a single thing in there I would want to try.

 

[Geranium]

God speed to any of you crazy bastards who are willing

Elliot Dong Long Gone did say Kiwi Farms members were a cult, so perhaps when Null gives the order for Jonestown Mk.2 we could go out with a serving of one of Monroe's delights.

Edit: Here's one to whet your appetites, a 5-minute lasagne (or "sausagne" as the title has it), brought to you by Amazon and filmed at Amazon's Home of Black Friday in Shoreditch.

 

[SpiceyHuman]

Omgoodness. Thank you OP. That was a fantastic starting post. I had never heard of this cow before and she sounds promising for the lols.

 

[Narwhal]

I get that lasagne isnt't the best looking dish in the world but THAT looks absolutely revolting. Is it Jack's way of declaring war against Italy?

Great OP, she has great potential and will be a steady source of lols

 

[AndreanSandDunes]

Part of me wants to organise a KF "cook-club" where we attempt her recipes.

There are a few threads on Tattle where they’ve been doing this. It would be funnier here though to be fair.

1. https://tattle.life/threads/slopalong-cooking-with-jack-monroe.34869/

2. https://tattle.life/threads/slopalo...a-turd-but-you-can-cover-it-in-parsley.34977/

3. https://tattle.life/threads/slopalong-3-she-doesnt-understand-beans.35188/

This review of her newest book has some cooking along and is probably the only genuine review that has ever been done on any of her books, it had me laughing a few times.

https://cookbookreview.blog/2023/01/08/thrifty-kitchen-by-jack-monroe/