The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

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Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 102 4.5%
  • Rioley

    Votes: 277 12.3%
  • Penis

    Votes: 408 18.1%
  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 291 12.9%
  • Boner

    Votes: 294 13.0%
  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 671 29.7%
  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 701 31.0%
  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 262 11.6%
  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 200 8.9%
  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,122 49.7%
  • Kindness

    Votes: 650 28.8%
  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 306 13.6%

  • Total voters
    2,258
I never understood that some people insisted that the alpacas got sick and died due to the winters in their area. Alpacas can handle the winter just fine. They can't handle being so far from their home land without proper vet care and people who know what their doing, this is mostly due to them needing to be at a certain altitude and being highly specialized. There's an ostrich farm in Alberta that's been doing just fine and that's because people there know what their doing.
If they knew what they were doing they would have laid out some bahiagrass for the alpaca's and have it checked to see if retained it's typical nutrients. If not, they would need to supplement it. However this grass prefers warmer southern states so they would either need to bring it in for the summer and feed the alpaca's hay during the winter. Fescue or whatever it's called is perfect for them. After that, they just need some salt and some treats.
It's not hard to look after them if you just do some basic research. Hell I'd look after some if there was more to them them than fleece. I prefer my chickens and cows. Oh god, I can just imagine the state of their chicken farm if they set up one of those and had to go in daily to pick up dead chicks. Though they are trans, they're probably used to that.
They have (had?) chickens and ducks... they're very rarely pictured and I suspect they haven't fared very well.
ALPACABERG TRIAL NOW!

I want to see troons dangling from the scaffold for their crimes.

And also for what they did to those poor animals!

Btw: Could we get a TLDR on why the tranch folded? Just usual troon incompetence or what?
  • Generalised farming incompetence as mentioned
  • Alienating all their neighbours who could have provided support by calling them horrible bigots in interviews
  • Alienating the local LGBT community by railing at them for not being anarchocommunist enough
  • Spending all their grift money on stupid stuff like massively expensive guns or top of the line powertools they'll never use again
  • Failing to come up with additional effective grifts
  • An insane BPD woman seducing Bonnie and splitting him up from his husband, Sky
  • Penny refusing to let insane BPD woman move in or visit
  • Bonnie deciding to go with insane BPD woman
  • Insane BPD woman rendering herself unemployable and forcing Bonnie to get an actual job
The last few are what's making this happen now, because only Bonnie and Sky are on the deeds. The rest of the tranchers, who Bonnie now hates, are effectively tenants and apparently are not good with meeting rent and also he's just spiteful.
 
The vet bill to just have them checked and treated for all the diseases and parasites will destroy the economy of farming them.
what economy? as far as i know, alpacas aren't commercial livestock that are commonly used in profitable milk/meat/wool/fur production, i don't think there's even a market with significant demand for alpaca related commodities. they're zoo animals at best.
 
The tranch has fallen. Our alpacas have dwindled to nothing. Cis infantry are pressing the lines forward and we are rapidly losing ground. Please send trans reinforcements to the frontlines before the patriarchy takes our forward operating dilation stations and the war is truly lost
 
They have (had?) chickens and ducks... they're very rarely pictured and I suspect they haven't fared very well.
How do you fuck up raising chicken? Feed them and let them do their thing. Be sure to hunt everywhere for their eggs because the little shits will start to hide them everywhere once they notice you're taking them. Ducks are basically the same just put their food in their water. Keep around nine females to every one male for a good social group. Smaller the group less of a chance of having to pick up dead chicks. Once I'm done here I'm hoping to keep some chickens and hopefully some ducks in the back yard in Ontario. Chickens can be very cuddly and ducks can make great lap animals.
 
One thing that warms the deepest part of my black heart is knowing that the dozens to hundreds of people who fell for that initial "the Kiwis are going to kill us! Give us money" $100,000 grift are realizing now that they would have been better off lighting their money on fire, because not a **PENNY** of it is left and it all went to nonsense. But remember everyone, they really showed us by raising $100,000 and have literal amhole to show for it currently.
 
I don't think anyone will take on a bunch of malnousished, starving and diseased animals.
The vet bill to just have them checked and treated for all the diseases and parasites will destroy the economy of farming them.
They will probably just hire a backhoe for a few days and re-home them to the bottom of a shallow pit.

They have already done alpaca massgraves on that property. What is one more massgrave?

Also, they are lazy troons. They will do whatever is easiest and takes least effort. The easiest way to deal with this is to dig a hole and then use the alpacas for target practise.
Mass_grave_in_Chechnya.jpg

But filled with alpacas. Christ I cannot imagine the stench.
 
Oh god, I can just imagine the state of their chicken farm if they set up one of those and had to go in daily to pick up dead chicks.

How do you fuck up raising chicken? Feed them and let them do their thing. Be sure to hunt everywhere for their eggs because the little shits will start to hide them everywhere once they notice you're taking them. Ducks are basically the same just put their food in their water.

As I recall:

- Never got to to the point of chicks. Idk how exactly they fucked this up, but they were going out in the morning and the eggs were frozen solid.

- the chicken coop wasn't in any way anchored, so it blew over in a windstorm and crushed some of the chickens.

- the ducks didn't really... have... water. I think there was a little plastic kiddy pool with a muddy, scummy inch or two of liquid in it sometimes.

No matter what it is, no matter how simple, a Trancher can always fuck it up.
 
what economy? as far as i know, alpacas aren't commercial livestock that are commonly used in profitable milk/meat/wool/fur production, i don't think there's even a market with significant demand for alpaca related commodities. they're zoo animals at best.
Their wool is used for some crafts. I have dryer balls made of alpaca wool.
 
They basically scalped the land dry and what used to be fertile pastures is all dust. It's entirely possible that eventually the Earth will recover--it usually does--but it massively devalues the land, and renders it largely unfit for agricultural use, which is what keeps ranchland relatively cheap as far as tax purposes go (look up "agricultural exemption").
 
Their wool is used for some crafts. I have dryer balls made of alpaca wool.
My dad has an alpaca rug. Cost him a fortune but it's really nice. Early space suits were insulated with alpaca wool. It's really, really good stuff. I'm not surprised that the tranchers couldn't figure out how to care for them.
 
Do you think it's possible to rehome the alpacas without any outside attention?

I know "failure of a commune" isn't that exciting a news story, but these yahoos have already gotten disproportionate media coverage for buying a house and some guns. Someone might pitch a "farewell to a dream" story, or--if we're very lucky--someone might smell drama from the breakup and go out for contrarian clicks.

The local paper, at least, should be interesting.
P.E.T.A Waco avoided because they didn't know how to put the guns in their mouth. No further details.
 
The most genuinely charitable thing they could do is slaughter all the animals they don't want to take and donate them as feed to the various wildlife sanctuaries in the area. Wolves need to eat too, even if it's a crappy shriveled alpaca carcass. Jerk a tear and claim chud Nazis shot up the alpaca at night mistaking the curly silhouettes for black people, that ought to grift a couple dollars.
I already know it's a combination of, Capitlaism/discrimination/nazi's/far right something or another just need to reassemble the words to make it marketable.
 
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