Long time ass-pube Nairer here. I'm gonna fill you in on one of my particularly painful experiences with Nair products.
Prior to my freshman year in college, I had experimented with
Nair for Men Body Cream on my butt cheeks/ass pubes with a fair amount of success. I had learned that the most effective and least painful way to manscape my posterior with NFMBC was as follows: turn on the shower, let that shit heat up, hop in, soap up the cheeks (and in between), rinse, soap up, rinse off, step out, towel off (lightly and gently), apply cream to the cheeks and in between (again, lightly and gently), examine your naked body in front of the mirror while allowing the lotion work its magic ~ 8-10 minutes, hop in the shower, rinse off (making sure no cream touches the genitals), soap up, rinse off, shower as normal, towel dry, clothe yourself. The process of showering the ass with hot, soapy water prior to the lotion application was probably the most integral step; the water significantly softened the hairs, thus reducing the total necessary application time for the lotion, consequentially reducing the risk of burning the perianal skin tissue and experiencing the most intense pain and discomfort whenever trying to stand or sleep. I had Naired a few times, and after the first few trial-and-error sequences, this was the formula for pretty much eliminating any chance of burning yourself due to overexposure from the lotion.
Fast forward to my freshman year in college: I had stocked up on the Nair lotion when shopping for school, only this time, I had purchased the
Nair Hair Remover Lotion for Women. I figured that the formula would essentially be the same, and that the necessary application times would be somewhat similar to those in the NFMBC. And for whatever strange, idiotic reason, I decided not to even glance at the suggested application times on the pink Nair bottle, somehow equating in my head this relationship:
Nair for Men=super strong formula to remove ungodly body hair of burly man. Nair for Women=dainty little feminine cream to lift off little peach fuzz...
BIGGEST. FUCKING. MISTAKE. EVER.
Turns out, the Nair for women shit is roughly twice as strong as the NFMBC formula. And it also turns out that the recommended application times for the women's version is
4-6 minutes, as opposed to the men's version, which is 8-10 minutes.
So there I am (in an individual shower in the community bathroom on my floor), about five minutes in to the application process with the WOMEN'S Nair lotion (NOT the weaker, less intense MEN'S product), and so far, everything had gone as per usual as though it had been the NFMBC. Then I thought to myself, "Well, since this pussy shit is in a pink bottle and it's for women, might as well leave this shit on a little longer than normal to make sure I don't have to repeat the whole process again."
Five minutes later
SWEET MOTHER FUCK COCK SHIT ASS BITCH FUCK SHIT FUCK FUCK FUCK
It crept up on me like a thief in the night. There I was, minding my own business in the shower, about to peek at my phone to see how much time had elapsed, when the skin in and around my ass, ass-cheeks and genitals was lit on fire. Folks, this was the single most intense, painful, horrifyingly painful sensation I had ever experienced. After shrieking in horror, I immediately about-faced the shower head, aimed the water down toward my crotch and-
SHIT MOTHER FUCK ASS NIGGER CALCULUS MOTHER FUCKING SHIT SHIT FUCK
Folks, this was when I realized I was going to die. Spraying the water onto the skin to wash the cream off was even more intense than the cream sitting on my skin alone. I continued to shriek in horror. Prior to this moment, I had tried to restrain my exclamations (looking back on this experience, I was probably in the shower from around 7:00 p.m. - 8:00 p.m., and most of the guys on my floor were eating in the cafeteria), but once the water hit, I lost awareness of the outside world, and the inner foul-mouthed-banshee within me surfaced. A few people came in and out of the bathroom during that time, a couple people were immensely curious as to what was going on with the random shrieker in shower four, but people left the scene after I managed to blurt out, "I'M FINE!", even though that was the furthest thing from the truth.
It took me about half an hour to muster up what little strength I had left to rinse off the remaining Nair, soap up (the soap application felt like what I would imagine a third-degree burn to feel like), rinse, soap up, rinse, and rinse until I was positive that every last molecule of Nair lotion had been removed from my skin. I turned off the water, and the most excruciatingly sharp pain set in in and around my ass/ass cheeks, and I began to cry softly to myself.
So there I was, naked as the day I was born, ass redder than a baboon's hind parts, flesh as raw as it could be (no bleeding), crying, ready to drink my own piss. Once I finally mustered up the courage to wrap a towel around my waist, the fabric hit my skin, and I knew that I was in for the most painful two weeks of my life. Taking shits and wiping my ass would become a time consuming task of monumental proportions, seeing that I would only be able to wad up the toilet paper and gently dab between my cheeks; wiping was out of the question. And as for sitting down on any surface - I don't want you to imagine the pain I had to endure every time I sat in class. Sleeping? A thing of the past. Even though I typically slept on my side, any time I managed to roll over onto my back without thinking, a sharp pain was sent throughout my body, causing me to lie awake in pain for another half hour before the thought of sleep was even a possibility. I think I looked at the bottle that night, right after the shower, noticed the difference in recommended application times, and I vowed to myself to never again apply anything to my body without first reading and heeding every warning on the label.
Oh, and I forgot to mention: For this particular application of Nair, I decided to also
give it a shot on my pubes.
The normal pubes.
But hey, at least I didn't have to deal with any ass-pubes after that! Trying to wipe when you've got those can be a real bitch...
TL;DR: Used the Nair for Men just fine, tried out the women's version and burned the shit outta my ass and genitals. ALWAYS. READ. AND HEED. LABEL WARNINGS.
EDIT: I was fine after a month or two. The redness went away after a couple weeks of cortizone applications. You can bet your ass off that I read every damn word on that tube.
ALPHA AS FUCK 
