Skitzocow Chris Gillon / Autphag and Spergchan / Sophie Y’Israeli - Autistic North Koreaboo, Also a Man

Who passes better as a woman?

  • Autphag:

    Votes: 36 9.9%

  • Robert Wayne Stiles

    Votes: 327 90.1%
  • Total voters
    363
Little Autphag slowly tries to make his way to his computer.
His extreme physical weight makes it much harder for him to navigate properly across the room's floor littered with empty Irn Bru bottles and all kinds of various dragon dildoes.
He seats himself on his dirty and run-down couch which groanes at the shock of his two-hundred extremely heavy pounds bearing down on it and presses the start button on his outdated, broken down laptop.
As his computer boots up with a humming sound Autphag picks up a dossier from the trash-littered floor and examines it. It's his trusty old manual made by the NKDF, containing various instructions for debate with capitalist scum in online forums. He proceeds to open the dossier with his fat and very smelly hands.
One of Autphag's fat arms accidentally knocks down one of his countless empty Rockstar cans and underneath exposes an old picture which he had long forgotten.
Autphag was utterly surprised to see it was still there. "Oh Emma, you dirty celtonegroidal hypermale femalewhore, why wouldn't you love me?", Autphag whimpers under his heavy breath.
Suddenly all of his repressed and painful memories back from Edinburgh return to Autphag. Being rejected by his love, her filthy goyim friends laughing at him, him starting to cry and running off like so many times before. To this day he remains a bitter and hate-filled virgin. He always blamed the Neurotypicals for his own failures.
"I don't need this microcephalic hypermale psychopath anyway! Or any inferior r-select cisgender femalewhore for that matter!", Autphag bitterly mumbles filled with his own impotent anger, and proceeds to throw the picture of Emma into the trash which is already filled to the brim with empty cans of energy drinks and bottles of illicit drugs.
Finally logging into his computer Autphag is greeted by his home wallpaper consisting of a pseudointellectual wordsalad scribbled onto a schizophrenic Jackson Pollock-esque paint salad. After discovering the internet he soon found an outlet for his repressed sexuality by fapping to sissy cuckold caption porn. He wanted to approach Teyrone about his feelings just so that he could lose his virginity before he turned 25.
Still, Autphag had not found the courage to talk to Teyrone or anyone except for his mother after he dropped out of high school for that matter. "I have always sought to procure a means of performing fellatio upon your melanin-enriched snake of slithering STDs, Teyrone... ", he sighed.
Autphag opens up his outdated internet explorer and searches on bing for Kiwifarms' "lolcows" sub-board. Suddenly he remembers his mother's words. She always told him to get a job in computer programming or become a dealer like his father Liam Mason Dylan Gillon.
"Please get a real job Autphag! I'm begging you!", she would say, but she just doesn't understand. She doesn't understand how utterly important it is to protect the chosen nation of Aspergia from these scumbag neurodiversitards and negrotypical psychopaths on the internet whose ultimate goal it is to wipe him off the map! Autphag now begins to type on his keyboard: "Fucking ableist empathy-ridden Vitriol puppets, listen up here..."
After a short time of posting on 4chan Autphag is sweaty and frustrated yet again like so often before. "FUCKING TRANNY SCUM!", he agressively yells at his computer monitor. Autphag is so upset that he actually knocks his makeshift Kim Jong-Il figure off his desk.
Little Autphag sniffs his tears away and forces himself to calm down for a little while.
"I'm sorry Kim Jong-Il Dongji, but now I must face my own arduous march.", he says. Autphag then turns to his wall which he has covered in blood clots, schizophrenic number patterns and Autism Speaks posters. In the midst of this most unholy mess is a framed picture with the arch words "REMEMBER THE AUTISM CHEMICAL GENOCIDE".
Now Autphag euphorically salutes his wall, and with a burning passion for Israel in his heart, sitting in his council basement apartment, he types endlessly:

"Oh, you gosh-darned neurotypical Haselgrove-shills..."
 
  • Winner
  • Semper Fidelis
Reactions: Begemot, Agentpeanut, Dynamite Ninja and 6 others
Well then, looking forward to the continuing adventures of Autphag, 2025 edition, when he's eventually stabbed by a crackhead john who didn't want to pay for a $10 hooker.

I wish you luck in your future endeavors.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: S-chan
Is there evidence to suggest that the current day Scots are descended from a mixture of blacks and celts though?
 
There is some speculation atm that chris has managed to get himself taken to the 'happy place' as he has vanished for a few days. Im abroad and so cannot confirm this atm but i notice he was in court on monday and has a plea dateset for 10 june which suggests a new offence. I called the court and they confirmed those details and that part of the case record is not open to the public. I'm not sure what that means as i didnt ask what the charge was, but it could be a mandatory stay in a mental ward as that would be private medical information and so kept out of open court.

What do we think caused this? The hazelgrove fiasco? Importing dodgy drugs? Has chris been whoring himself again and got caught- we know what he's like with projection and 'whore' was a favourite insult before he went quiet.

Ofc he could also have run out of money for electricity- although i would expect him to use his local library.

Keep in mind i only had a very short phonecall on a poor spainish line, it could potentially be the same case and the court receptionist was just being cautious with a foreign number.
 
  • Informative
  • Winner
  • Optimistic
Reactions: Dynamite Ninja, Trombonista, Scribbler and 8 others
Vitriol said:
There is some speculation atm that chris has managed to get himself taken to the 'happy place' as he has vanished for a few days. Im abroad and so cannot confirm this atm but i notice he was in court on monday and has a plea dateset for 10 june which suggests a new offence. I called the court and they confirmed those details and that part of the case record is not open to the public. I'm not sure what that means as i didnt ask what the charge was, but it could be a mandatory stay in a mental ward as that would be private medical information and so kept out of open court.

What do we think caused this? The hazelgrove fiasco? Importing dodgy drugs? Has chris been whoring himself again and got caught- we know what he's like with projection and 'whore' was a favourite insult before he went quiet.

Ofc he could also have run out of money for electricity- although i would expect him to use his local library.

Keep in mind i only had a very short phonecall on a poor spainish line, it could potentially be the same case and the court receptionist was just being cautious with a foreign number.
Click to expand...
Maybe the psychiatrist finally reported the threatening letter
 
  • Optimistic
Reactions: chimpburgers, Cthulu and HickoryDickory
LagoonaBlue said:
A few Kiwis have told me this privately, I will not name names because that would be a breach of confidentiality.
Click to expand...
If said kiwi has not already contacted me, i'd appreciate the heads up. As much to check if anyone has anything more solid than me and what whispers im hearing as aught else!
 
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