Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties


I'm guessing there's a happy real estate agent in this story.


Memaw needs to close the toilet when she get rid of curses or she's gonna coat her bathroom with magical poo-particles.


Stop wasting eggs, reeeee


Let me know if it works, guys



Gunter Hatherer said:
About that blonde. You know, the last gal under the spoiler tag.
Why does she affect an African American accent?
Is that part of her method of unleashing uncanny forces on her baby-daddy? :lit:
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The last three are the same woman, and she's a powerful witch you shitlord.
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fuzzyrodent85 said:
It was a Saturday in mid June, and I walked to Dunkin donuts, about five blocks away from my house. The sunlight warmed my skin and the sky was a bright blue, almost artificially so, with only a single wispy cloud. I was lost in thought. About many things, my upcoming calculus test, what I should get my girlfriend for her birthday and the game that would be on soon. Little did I know, that I was about to have the most traumatic experience of my life. Not even chuck Hughes dying of a heart attack on the field could compare. I smelled that distinctive aroma of fried bread and knew I had reached my destination. My friend Jason was waiting for me on the sidewalk, on his phone probably looking at pictures of Edwardian era ball gowns. He sews princess outfits for his cats and uses that as inspiration.
"Hey!" I exclaim. We fist bump. It's always nice to see him. He excitedly announces that his homemade kombucha grew a giant slimy placenta looking organism. His green eyes look off at a group of crows.
"You know, that's a sign of incoming doom"
"Maybe it's a sign that you're retarded." I laugh, and take a hit of my vape.
Then, what looked to be a 250 lb woman emerged from the shadow of a distant building.
She waddled towards us.
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Jason, without thinking before speaking, (the only thing I truly dislike about him) turned to me and said, "I bet I could make a TON of soap from that pile of lard!" I opened my mouth to tell him that was rude, but it was already too late. She began screeching: " diddley foddely fum, I transfer my fat powers to you! Hashmallahtokooba!!!" Then from her bag, pulled out a jar of red liquid which I could only presume to be period blood and dumped it on us.
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That's bullshit. What gave it away is the notion that any kiwi would go outside.
I still believe it, though.
 
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Clownish said:
The most successful White Nationalist Pagans are the Asatru Folk Assembly. They own several churches and are expanding quickly. They have been around since the 70s, and were one of, if not the first Germanic pagan church in America.

All the other Pagan groups hate them, they even made an oath called Declaration 127 that Pagans have to agree with or else they are deemed evil Nazis. Basically the oath is we love niggers, troons and everyone is welcome to be a Germanic heathen even if they are not ethnically European.

They have a Youtube channel where they live stream. https://www.youtube.com/@AsatruFolkAssembly

They also got attacked by the media in a viral video, but it backfired and the AFA gained hundreds of new paying members from it.

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Spengler had a few interesting things to say about this. Basically, when people sucking off and rromanticizing their primitive past their culture is already dead.


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Clownish said:
Twitter Pagan Cringe:

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Good response:

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Vikings as Antifa supporters is some crazy LARP. Its somehow able to keep up with the concept that Odin would care in the slightest about a modern day tranny. It always comes back to the 'Well only women know magic and Odin learned magic!' argument.

There's still no thought on why a man learning magic was so unnatural that it required plucking an eye out as a sacrifice. Or that having such strong roles means that ways you could worship or interact with the world was determined by birth. But yeah sure Odin says trans rights and obviously Loki is a troon because he turned into a mare.
 
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Found this woman (again? Did we see her before?) today:
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She's an interesting case because as wack as she is, she does not fall into the category of "If magic is real, why aren't you rich?"







Agarathium1066 said:
Vikings as Antifa supporters is some crazy LARP. Its somehow able to keep up with the concept that Odin would care in the slightest about a modern day tranny. It always comes back to the 'Well only women know magic and Odin learned magic!' argument.
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You'll notice they never mention what kind of magic it was. They just reduce magic to a nebulous "something" akin to "good vibes".
Real fucking weird, innit. I'm sure there's no reason behind it.
 
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NoReturn said:
You'll notice they never mention what kind of magic it was. They just reduce magic to a nebulous "something" akin to "good vibes".
Real fucking weird, innit. I'm sure there's no reason behind it.
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Most people don't understand a goddamn thing about what was written down. To them everything is 'magic' and its just all.. magical. And that's it. Chances are they think this shit is Harry Potter rules because that's what a lot of schmuckos started with.
 
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I know of the the most magickal hex ever created. It's called a restraining order.

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You forgot the period blood.

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"Stroking "in a certain way" "
You know what is certain? The fact that you need therapy.

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Instead of a reversal you should just send a video of yourself gaining to dear feeder null.

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Oh yeah, Aphrodite herself is personally sending you zoomer tiktoks about placenta sacrifices. No bitch, your algorithm is algorithiming.

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It means the succubus wants to succ.

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I never understood friends with benefits. Because there is never any benefit, just confusion and hurt feelings.

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Once? How can you be really into someone you talked to once?

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Here is an emoji spell for a one night stand:
:P👉👌👅:winner:

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Every night my dad looks down at his penis and chants this before fucking my mom:

"May my balls be big and my phallus girthy,
So everyone knows I'm worthy,
My foreskin gathers much less dirt than an attorney,
And I never ejaculate early.
Love and light"

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This is kind of wholesome in a way. Like awwww you miss her so much that you're doing a ritual with Satan so that she will love you again.

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With you as a friend, who needs enemies?!

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Or just get headphones or something?

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Witches should put them up their butt instead of in a lake.



One time I was working (I do retail) and this guy came up to me and asked for the directions to the nearest movie theater. I showed him how to get there using Google maps and he said "thanks I like to ask people because I spend way too much time in my phone" then I said "me too, my favorite thing to look at on my phone is witches. One of them got mad at me because I was making fun of her so I painted a picture of her pet rat and she wasn't mad at me anymore." Then he said "uuhhhhhhh ok" and ran away.
 
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