🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

How long will this relationship last?

  • About a month.

    Votes: 39 42.4%
  • Half a year.

    Votes: 10 10.9%
  • A year or more.

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • He will marry her and impregnate her, hater! This is Eternal love.

    Votes: 43 46.7%

  • Total voters
    92
He was mumbling about leaving Cozy, but not retiring. It was confusing. I’m think Catboi isn’t pleased with Ralph and this is probably fueling his bender more than his lying whore getting the power cut for a day.
I’m thinking Nick may have started to give Ralph warnings or possibly worked up to an ultimatum: ā€œget clean and back on track or get outā€. Like any true addict faced with these options, Ralph chooses option 3: more booze, pills, deflection and denial.
 

It says:
Absolute flood of messages in my chat since I announced my retirement. Thank you so much!

I know I am a pioneer for so many of you!

ONE MORE LIVE NOW on COZY dot TV slash ETHAN RALPH!


EDIT: yeah yeah, I’m late. But I’m curious about this cozy/retirement thing. It seems like it came out of nowhere.
The term "retirement" was a buzzword he used to drum up extra donations because fat and broke. His "retirement" is most likely a dig at him leaving Cozy for another platform. He can't retire, this is the only thing he can do to make money, and he has no retirement money to live off of currently. Very much like DSP, he spends what he gets almost instantly.

The differences between DSP and Ralph are minor at best at this point in life.
Both are raging alcoholics
Both have a gambling addiction (Though Phil's arguably way worse)
Both have oral based addictions. Pills for one, Doordash for the other.
Ralph to the smallest of benefits in terms of overall fulfilment in life, does go out and travel. AC, Vegas, Europe. He does it to show he can and act like he has money, so it is all for show but they are still experiences that Phil will never have.
Both have a small army of wheelchairs that fund their lives.
Both are on the decline both in their "Careers" and health.
Both live above their means for no other reason than out of vanity.
Both are narcissistic fucktwats who will never admit when they are wrong despite always being wrong.
Both currently live to rack up self served Ls, though Ralph is speedrunning this category lately.
Both are in mid tier range of debt despite making enough money to pay off said debt easily in 2 years based on their income.
Both had their financials leaked.
Both think the rules do not apply to them, though one gets away with it more often while other has been getting bitch slapped by karma lately.

I honestly could go on and I encourage anyone to continue this list, but you all get my point. The 2 biggest active cows on the Farms and they are nearly identical in every way. At the rate Ralph is going, DSP will outlast another one, but neither has much time left on the clock. Be it the clock of life or the career clock.
 
The term "retirement" was a buzzword he used to drum up extra donations because fat and broke. His "retirement" is most likely a dig at him leaving Cozy for another platform. He can't retire, this is the only thing he can do to make money, and he has no retirement money to live off of currently. Very much like DSP, he spends what he gets almost instantly.

The differences between DSP and Ralph are minor at best at this point in life.
Both are raging alcoholics
Both have a gambling addiction (Though Phil's arguably way worse)
Both have oral based addictions. Pills for one, Doordash for the other.
Ralph to the smallest of benefits in terms of overall fulfilment in life, does go out and travel. AC, Vegas, Europe. He does it to show he can and act like he has money, so it is all for show but they are still experiences that Phil will never have.
Both have a small army of wheelchairs that fund their lives.
Both are on the decline both in their "Careers" and health.
Both live above their means for no other reason than out of vanity.
Both are narcissistic fucktwats who will never admit when they are wrong despite always being wrong.
Both currently live to rack up self served Ls, though Ralph is speedrunning this category lately.
Both are in mid tier range of debt despite making enough money to pay off said debt easily in 2 years based on their income.
Both had their financials leaked.
Both think the rules do not apply to them, though one gets away with it more often while other has been getting bitch slapped by karma lately.

I honestly could go on and I encourage anyone to continue this list, but you all get my point. The 2 biggest active cows on the Farms and they are nearly identical in every way. At the rate Ralph is going, DSP will outlast another one, but neither has much time left on the clock. Be it the clock of life or the career clock.
Did you mention that they both snort too? I'm surprised I don't see people talking about that more.

Ralph is a supercow. He's all cows rolled into one, bifurcated lump of dough.
 
Wait does her shirt read GUNTY down the side?
KEFFALS NO!!!!

Screenshot 2023-02-22 155238.png
 
I don't think he's necessarily getting fired from Cozy. After all, Nick is a shock jock with 0 principles who just says whatever will cause the most uproar at the time.

It's more likely it's just dawning on him that avenues for NEETbux are disappearing. He's being chased from every platform with a bustling userbase and the likelihood that Cozy is going to be around for much longer is not great.

I know it's easy to look at the state Ralph's in and say "he's dying imminently, so why the fuck would he care?" but as we've seen, he's living hand to mouth, up to the Memphis micro in debt and spending money as quickly as it arrives. He has the resilience of a cockroach and he's too much of a fat gay baby to kill himself so he's scrambling for other sources of revenue before his organs finally fail or he wraps the guntmobile around a tree or something.
 
I will never get over the fact that someone CHOSE that color for their house. Holy shit.
You can get a steep discount on ugly exterior paint colors after they set unsold on the shelves. It’s why poor neighborhoods seem dotted with ugly colored houses. Flippers and landlords love cheap paint!
 
I don't think he's necessarily getting fired from Cozy. After all, Nick is a shock jock with 0 principles who just says whatever will cause the most uproar at the time.

It's more likely it's just dawning on him that avenues for NEETbux are disappearing. He's being chased from every platform with a bustling userbase and the likelihood that Cozy is going to be around for much longer is not great.

I know it's easy to look at the state Ralph's in and say "he's dying imminently, so why the fuck would he care?" but as we've seen, he's living hand to mouth, up to the Memphis micro in debt and spending money as quickly as it arrives. He has the resilience of a cockroach and he's too much of a fat gay baby to kill himself so he's scrambling for other sources of revenue before his organs finally fail or he wraps the guntmobile around a tree or something.
how the hell can the final boss of transphobes have an actual podcast you can find on actual platforms not coded by drunk mexicans and ralph fuck up this hard

like really holy shit
 
it was obviously just pitty baiting to get the paypigs to open their wallets again, Ralph cannot retire because he literally can't do anything else for a job, and Fuentes is not kicking him off the site, all he needs is people streaming there for cozy to not be a dead platform so he can sell it
Who the fuck would buy Cozy.TV? Serious question. Maybe a foreign entity contracted to push political extremism and discontent in the USA? I can’t see any other buyers at this point given what a sewer the platform has become, with Ralph VP of degenerate, lazy, sewage content.

Ralph could probably get hired by the Chinese to stream as an ā€œaverage Americanā€ pig or by the Russians as what liberal values have done to American men.
 
Who the fuck would buy Cozy.TV? Serious question. Maybe a foreign entity contracted to push political extremism and discontent in the USA? I can’t see any other buyers at this point given what a sewer the platform has become, with Ralph VP of degenerate, lazy, sewage content.

Ralph could probably get hired by the Chinese to stream as an ā€œaverage Americanā€ pig or by the Russians as what liberal values have done to American men.
Yeah I could see cozy.ccp
 

It says:
Absolute flood of messages in my chat since I announced my retirement. Thank you so much!

I know I am a pioneer for so many of you!

ONE MORE LIVE NOW on COZY dot TV slash ETHAN RALPH!


EDIT: yeah yeah, I’m late. But I’m curious about this cozy/retirement thing. It seems like it came out of nowhere.
Did come out of nowhere? Ralph's been making noises a lot lately like "IF YEW DON'T PROMOTE MAH SHOW YOU HAVE FAILED!" and "GIB ME MOAR MONEY OR AH'M STOPPING THE STREAM FER TODAY!". This talk about "MEBBE AH SHOULD RETIRE!" just seems like a natural extension for someone who regularly threatens cancelling himself if he doesn't get his way.

Edit - I should've said "natural progression" instead of "extension".
 
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Ralph's been making noises a lot lately like "IF YEW DON'T PROMOTE MAH SHOW YOU HAVE FAILED!" and "GIB ME MOAR MONEY OR AH'M STOPPING THE STREAM FER TODAY!".
Yeah he’s really flying his bitch-made flag. Panhandling for change on the internet and calling it a career. Pathetic.
 
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