Diseased Rowling Derangement Syndrome - "TERF/Woke Author Bad!!1"

[Stupid Sexy Flanders]

Troon Genocide Simulator has already sold 12 million copies and brought in $850 million in revenue!



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TERF Kween Rowling can't stop winning while committing genocide by existing!

 

[PoisonedBun]

They are really going all-in on this troon defense.. it's obsession at this point. They haven't done anything funny in like ~10+ years at the very least. It's all woke humor now. (being "correct" in place of being funny or making jokes)

Maybe this is an unpopular opinion but I still find some of their non-political articles funny.



Lately feels like all they can talk about is JKR, though.

 

[90 Day Beyonce]

Maybe this is an unpopular opinion but I still find some of their non-political articles funny.

View attachment 4620046

Lately feels like all they can talk about is JKR, though.

Not just that, gays are mainstream enough (and have been a punching bag long enough before that), that you can play them for humor. You can have a hypersexual gay character getting shot down in a multitude of funny/harsh ways by straight dudes and even the gays will think it's funny. Gays are allowed to get their comeuppance when they misbehave or ignore social norms.

You absolutely cannot make fun of trannies, though. Even in fiction. Anything bad that happens to them is never their fault, it's always a sign of their oppressed status instead.

(Trying to add a quote from another thread (troon media) here, hope it worked.)

The Onion's non troon stuff is still funny. For the most part, they'll skew whoever's in their path, both the "target" and the "narrator". But troon immunity makes for some sad, sad reading.

 

[David Glowie]

And why would they think it was anti-consumerist in the first place? They're just offended that the ideology the erroneously projected onto a series of entertaining children's books was never there, and their anger at this realization is directed outward at JKR rather than inward at their own stupidity.

Anti-consumerist? In the series I read, the protagonist has a trust fund which is a literal vault of gold, and all the magical items that he buys are described in loving detail. Yes, it's made clear that family and friendship are far more important than material possessions, but that's hardly a groundbreaking revelation for a children's book.

 

[Strangolapreti]

Maybe this is an unpopular opinion but I still find some of their non-political articles funny.

View attachment 4620046

Lately feels like all they can talk about is JKR, though.

Pitbull's name comes from a game that had dogs sent into a pit and forced to kill as many rats as possible.

Not really an oRiGiNaL siN when you consider that all breeds dog breeds are product of intense inbreeding, but perhaps if journalists view solely the pit fight stuff as a sinful action, then there is no wonder of why so many of them are fucking retartded...

 

[glue eater]

Literal unashamed shitpost.

 

[sheepworldvizor]

(Trying to add a quote from another thread (troon media) here, hope it worked.)

The Onion's non troon stuff is still funny. For the most part, they'll skew whoever's in their path, both the "target" and the "narrator". But troon immunity makes for some sad, sad reading.

There is no way The Onion cowards would ever DARE to mock a troon, unless it's a right wing troon like Jenner.

Must-Read Reflections On The Battle Over Trans Rights

Over the past several months, the rights and acceptance of transgender and gender-nonconforming people have increasingly been the subject of both legal challenges and heated public debate. The Onion sifts through the many essays published by lesser news organizations to find the smartest and...

www.theonion.com

They're sacred cows.

 

[Scissors 61]

The best part of the hogwarts stuff is that they are going so completely all-in on it that there is no chance of them being able to memory hole or downplay it.. They literally screeched for weeks on end that buying/playing/streaming the game is literal violence against troons, and then this happened:

View attachment 4618418

Considering how there have been people downplaying the BLM riots of 2020 despite all the publicity and tweets supporting it, they absolutely could if they wanted to.

The success of the game could be used to go "Oooh, this proves the backlash to this game is exaggerated by the chuds. This proves cancel culture doesn't exist, etc"

 

[DoubleD]

(Searched and couldn't find this but clocks if it's been posted.)

The Onion must've got hella clicks from this bc they've gone FULL ROWLING DERANGEMENT SYNDROME.

View attachment 4619648

The Onion’s Exclusive Interview With J.K. Rowling

archived 23 Feb 2023 19:23:14 UTC

archive.ph

Twitter response is predictable squeeing megacoom. They'll be wiping the jizz off screens for days.

https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1628443296803569667?s=20

Oh yeah, The Onion's just a Rowling content machine these days. https://twitter.com/TheOnion/status/1627729871454539779?s=20

Spoiler: Troons saying she will sue. No she won't sue them. She's not an idiot and understands satire.

This one has been doing the rounds on social media:

Link to FB post
Link to article, Archive

The joke in the headline is worth a quick grin (TBF, Onion articles were rarely ever funny beyond the headline), but these comments on Facebook are a sight to behold:

(It's on a group called Trans Army. What did you expect?)


But the mock interview piece The Onion did about Rowling is getting a little less social media traction, mainly because it's just bad.

No link. It doesn't deserve hate-clicks. And since their incredibly gay slideshow format breaks with the archive, here is just the text of each slide:

(No spoiler tags for you! If you're not going to subject yourself to reading it, you will at least scroll past it.)

The Onion: “Hi. Thanks for doing this interview with us today.”
J.K. Rowling: “Tell me which genitals you have right now.”

The Onion: “Why is your lawyer here? Are you preemptively suing us for defamation over this interview?”
J.K. Rowling: “Yes, because somehow I always come off as the bad guy when discussing this topic.”

The Onion: “Name your favorite kind of transphobia, go!”
J.K. Rowling: “Threats. Wait, that was a trick question!”

The Onion: “New York Times opinion columnist Pamela Paul recently wrote a column titled ‘In Defense of J.K. Rowling.’ Have you read it?”
J.K. Rowling: “Nah. That shit is behind a paywall, and I’m not wasting any money on that dogshit excuse for journalism.”

The Onion: “Do you feel at all guilty to have disappointed some fans with your views?”
J.K. Rowling: “Hell no. Look, I wrote those books for kids 20 years ago. If you’re still into that shit, you’re a fuckin’ loser.”

The Onion: “Don’t you find it hypocritical to publicly attack a marginalized community when your fortune and fame comes from books that champion a bullied outsider?”
J.K. Rowling: “Well, that’s fiction. I’d be very anti-Harry Potter if he were a real person.”

The Onion: “Will you be silenced?”
J.K. Rowling: “No. I’m a middle-aged billionaire with access to the latest medical technologies. You’ll keep hearing from me for the next 350 years, at least.”

The Onion: “Some activists have—”
J.K. Rowling: “Well, I never—look, if you’re going to spew hateful rhetoric at me, we’re going to terminate this interview right here and now. Christ, how low some journalists will stoop! We can continue, but you’re going to have to ask more respectable questions.”

The Onion: “Would you tell us about a time that you were personally victimized by a trans person?”
J.K. Rowling: “Yes, I remember like it was yesterday: you see, I was advocating for their total annihilation and then a few of them said some mean words to me on the internet.”

The Onion: “Why couldn’t you just take your billions of dollars and go away?”
J.K. Rowling: “And what, take all this hate out on my house staff? I already do that, and it doesn’t help.”

The Onion: “Do you think you’ll recover from this?”
J.K. Rowling: “Eh, Leonardo da Vinci was a pedophile and he seems to be doing fine, reputation-wise. I think I’ll probably skate through.”

The Onion: “Where does all of this lead?”
J.K. Rowling: “To the grave, as do all things.”

The Onion: “Why are you such a huge fucking hateful dork?”
J.K. Rowling: “I prefer the term ‘fantastical bigot.’”

The Onion: “How would you defend your books to those who call for boycotts of Harry Potter because of the detestable things you say online?”
J.K. Rowling: “I would say they are separate. I am something of a human being, whereas a book is a stack of word paper. Plus, I have a vagina, whereas a book has a penis.”

The Onion: “Why were you absent from the Harry Potter reunion? Did HBO bar you from attending?”
J.K. Rowling: “No, I was busy that day protesting a 13-year-old wearing a skirt.”

The Onion: “Was it embarrassing when you used a pseudonym to see if people would like your work without the name J.K. Rowling attached, and it turns out that they didn’t like it at all, and then you had to reveal you were using a pseudonym to increase the sales?”
J.K. Rowling: “Yes, quite.”

The Onion: “Do you have any words of encouragement for aspiring transphobes?”
J.K. Rowling: “Find the time in your day to practice transphobia every day, even if it’s for only 15 minutes.”

The Onion: “What do you think about cisgender people who support trans people living as their preferred gender?”
J.K. Rowling: “They can all die, too.”

The Onion: “Let’s talk about some other issues. Are you anti-abortion as well?”
J.K. Rowling: “Oh, not at all. In fact, in the books, the Gryffindor Seamus Finnigan is an aborted fetus, and he’s quite popular and a very proficient duelist.”

The Onion: “Do you have anything you’d like to tell your fans?”
J.K. Rowling: “I just want to say that there are thousands of my fans, potentially millions, who spend time online debating why the wizards didn’t stop the Holocaust. Some of them defend the wizards and concoct all sorts of tortuous explanations for why the wizards didn’t stop the Holocaust. Many of them display a startling lack of actual historical knowledge, and most of them seem entirely unaware that expending so much energy even debating this kind of intercession of fiction into one of humanity’s worst atrocities is fairly grotesque on its face—so I’d just like to say, keep at it! You’re almost there!”

TL;DR of the joke is "Haha, JKR admits she is an evil bigot who is obsessed with genitals. But she can't stand the slightest amount of criticism of her hateful bigoted beliefs."

So bad in fact that Unherd wrote a piece calling it out:
Link to article, Archive

There is no way The Onion cowards would ever DARE to mock a troon, unless it's a right wing troon like Jenner.

Must-Read Reflections On The Battle Over Trans Rights

Over the past several months, the rights and acceptance of transgender and gender-nonconforming people have increasingly been the subject of both legal challenges and heated public debate. The Onion sifts through the many essays published by lesser news organizations to find the smartest and...

www.theonion.com

They're sacred cows.

Pretty much. The article even says as much:

But I am going to have to contest this one comment:

Because as much as some people can't bear to hear this, the Onion has always had a political slant that was aligned with 'wokeness' (or at least, 2000s and early 2010s versions of the concept) far more often than it was not. It was funny at the time because it was taking jabs against the establishment.

But now that wokeness has become the establishment, the Onion cannot reverse its position. And it cannot take jabs against the other side without first building a strawman of their views and passing it off as the establishment position. This is why the Onion sucks so much nowadays and the Babylon Bee is owning their asses.

 

[Lemmingwiser]

Oh god, that fake interview.

Did they forget to be funny?

At least the evangelical one has some bite.

 

[TouchFluffyTail]

Apologise if this has been posted yet, but in slightly better news...

Rowling W

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

They keep talking about laws being passed to kill off trans people but...where? Unless they consider HRT and childhood transition bans to be murder.

because a trans is not born, is made. And it involves spending a lot of $$$$

Any regulation on the industry that puts a stop in the production line is "trans genocide".

 

[Alligator Alcatraz]

I liked the first one, second one was a little more messy. Rowling is good at writing characters, their thoughts motivations and the movie failed in this department. Like why a character that died in the last movie is suddenly alive? Why would a witch who wants to marry a muggle side with a faction that wants to oppress muggles and somehow justify it by her love for the muggle?
For me this (and Cursed Child) shows that Rowling shines when she has full control over the narrative including access to characters' heads but isn't very good at visual storytelling.

Apparently there was a charm placed on Queenie to seduce her to work for Grindelwald because of her dangerous ability to read minds. When I saw the movie, it didn't seem like that. She seemed like she made the decision herself and that she just did it because she was mad at the break-up or something.

J.K. Rowling explained one of the most upsetting character turns in 'Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald'

'Fantastic Beasts: The Crimes of Grindelwald' ended with a few unexpected turns and shocking reveals. In a DVD extra, J.K. Rowling weighed in on one.

www.insider.com

 

[Illuminati Order Official]

She seemed like she made the decision herself and that she just did it because she was mad at the break-up or something.

Wasn't she proficient with both charms and mindreading? She should be quite aware of it, maybe even more resistant than usual wizard.

 

[Alligator Alcatraz]

Wasn't she proficient with both charms and mindreading? She should be quite aware of it, maybe even more resistant than usual wizard.

Yeah i'm pretty sure that article is JKR cope for bad writing. It might have been that the film writers just wanted Queenie to have any role and inserted that needless betrayal for the drama. She and the Jacob became irrelevant after the first film, imo.

 

[Illuminati Order Official]

It might have been that the film writers just wanted Queenie to have any role and inserted that needless betrayal for the drama.

I think it could work in a book where we would have some insight into her thoughts and feeling. It would be a compelling character arc, from well-meaning airhead to reluctant supporter of a dangerous political group to realization what really stands behind those slogans and becoming a little more bitter and distrustful but also wiser and more capable.

 

[A Ghost]

One of the mods on r/againsthatesubreddits is threatening to global ban people who are in r/HarryPottergames unless they refund legacy donate the money to a trans charity and prove it to the (trans) mod of there subreddit

Spoiler: Harry Potter games more like kill trans people games

 

[Fomo Hoire]

One of the mods on r/againsthatesubreddits it’s threatening to global ban people who are in r/HarryPottergames unless they refund legacy donate the money to a trans charity and prove it to the (trans) mod of there subreddit

Spoiler: Harry Potter games more like kill trans people games

View attachment 4621084

• r/pics - too generic sounding. I assume if I reddited, I'd find a more tailored source like r/foodporn, r/sceneryporn, r/spaceporn, r/pornporn... Point is there's probably genres of pictures that are more interesting.
• r/gaming - after 2014? Too much thought policing.
• r/AdviceAnimals - obsolete memes? If there are any good ones they'll be reposted elsewhere when they go viral.
• r/politics - people are playing the game because they don't care about that
• r/news - see politics
• r/worldnews - see news
• r/wifebeaters - wait what the fuck? Is punching women an official endorsed sub now? I guess I can see why they love Fallon fox types.

Biased because I don't have an account and don't subscribe to any subreddits, but their portfolio doesn't seem to be worth the lifestyle changes they're asking for. Not that playing Harry Potter should be a lifestyle, but slippery slope, next thing you know they'll say the only ethical beverage for you to purchase is troon juice.

Edit: I went to check if wifebeaters was actually women whining about being beaten. The sub is banned for being unmoderated. They're threatening to ban people from a banned sub, and they're lying about having moderators there.

 

[teriyakiburns]

One of the mods on r/againsthatesubreddits is threatening to global ban people who are in r/HarryPottergames unless they refund legacy donate the money to a trans charity and prove it to the (trans) mod of there subreddit

Hold on, didn't reddit make an explicit rule against this sort of thing? Not that they ever enforce their rules when wrongthinkers are the targets, but I'm pretty sure they announced something to that effect a couple of years ago.

 

[frap]

One of the mods on r/againsthatesubreddits is threatening to global ban people who are in r/HarryPottergames unless they refund legacy donate the money to a trans charity and prove it to the (trans) mod of there subreddit

Spoiler: Harry Potter games more like kill trans people games

View attachment 4621084

They just can't take the L.

Can't wait until they inadvertently turn every last normie against themselves in their own self-righteous rage.