What is the penultimate detractor victory over Phil besides his channel getting banned, not being him, and old pigroach death live on stream?
Phil doesn't stream for several days. No community posts, no tweets, total radio silence.
Phil boots up his stream at 1am Renton time. He's hunched over in his chair, bottle of Gray Whale Gin in one hand, his face buried in the other hand.
He looks up to the camera, eyes full of tears. Phil confesses that he's been living a lie. He admits that he's a gambling addict, alcoholic, and that the trolls were right all along.
He pulls out his phone, shows us his WWE Champions account. Phil stares at the homescreen, looking at his maxed out roster. His sad grimace slowly turns into a wide smile, he sheds a single tear. Phil pulls one last hogan, live on stream.
He stands up, points his webcam at the closet, and gently opens the closet doors showing us his collection of video game statues.
He reaches up to the top shelf, grabs something, turns around and sits back down in his chair.
Still smiling, Phil shows us what he's hiding. Its a handgun, Beretta 92fs. He says "This is it .... this is the one that I used to kill T ... I always loved him."
A massive wave of relief washes over Phil, you can practically see it.
Phil looks at his chat, it's a $10,000 tip from Emerald 7. The tip message says, "Hey Phil, long time no see. Just want you to know that I am OnlyIcedCoffee, Tutankhamun, and every other
long time fan, first time donator. By the way, I killed Planet Jeff's wife, you're welcome. :^) Love your content, as always. "
Just then, Khet bursts into the room. She slams down a giant tub of butter on Phil's desk. She stabs Phil in the neck with a fork, and yells out something about him being a giant potato that's ripe for the picking.
Khet freezes, she looks right into the camera. She lets out an otherworldy shriek as a demon flies out of her mouth and breaks through the office window. She keels over on the floor.
Phil bleeds out, live on stream.
It's quiet, very quiet.
Phil's phone vibrates on his desk, everyone watching wonders who it could be.
Trolls check Phil's twitter. It's Derich. He tagged Phil in a tweet for one final "major shoutout"
Derich asks Phil if he still has the cargo shorts he wore in this one video with John Rambo 12 years ago, then ends the tweet by saying he'll be around next week to watch Phil play Disney Dreamlight Valley 2.
Youtube ends the live stream.
There's a new post on Kiwi Farms.
It's Null. He tells us that he's shutting down the DSP Subforum. It's the most liked post on KF of all time.
We all collectively exit out of our browser windows and go outside. The sun is shining. It feels good.
I think I'll go for a walk today.
