- Joined
- May 30, 2021
Featured on Mar 26, 2023 by 0 0: Meet Shane Nokes, professional Internet Tough Guy™.
PSA: Shane has signed up to the farms and is responding to this thread on his twitter. (KF Cruiser is suspected to be him). Please do not mention butter knives or post any images of them. He was raped with one and you would trigger his PTSD. Thank you for your consideration.
Recent Happenings:
- DOX FOUND. Credit to @Plaintiff is fat
- After going dark for a few months Shane is back and picking fights on a new twitter. @DewThePDX
Old Happenings:
- Someone found an old forum post of Shane's where he requested nudes of an underage girl.
- Shane was outed for pretending to be Jewish online for victim points.
- Shane posted a picture of his rotting maw in an effort to own the haters.
- Shane tweeted out a shirtless pic in an effort to own the haters.
- Shane and his guntfriend recorded a video together in an effort to own user @I'm Just A Worm
- Shane and/or his guntfriend have signed up to the farms on a new account, providing a horrifying selfie as proof it's them. Later they provided a second selfie.
- Someone found a reddit post where Shane bragged about feltching his own cum out of his guntfriend's filthy anus.
- Shane was banned from twitter for threatening to shoot a literary agent who dared to question Patrick Tomlinson's victim narrative.
(L,A)
(L,A)
Shane E. Nokes is an extremely narcissistic and possibly schizophrenic internet tough guy who picks fights on twitter all day and posts screenshots of his old credentials as an Xbox Customer Support rep in an attempt to win internet arguments. Shane came to the attention of the farms during the twitter reaction to one of Patrick Tomlinson’s many swatting hoaxes. Pat made a twitter thread about a fake swatting and Shane randomly appeared and started threatening people, stating that he was some sort of cybersecurity expert and could easily find their identities.
“Retired Cybersecurity Expert”
(L,A)
(L,A)
(L,A)
When pressed for evidence of his alleged expertise, Shane claimed that he was the sole person who brought down ‘Cosmo’ a famous hacker from the early days of online gaming on the Xbox. Shane has made this claim to other people on twitter before and claims that he 'went easy' on Cosmo due to his age (15), however, he is never mentioned in any publication around the arrest of Cosmo and no corroborating evidence has been found for any of this.
(L,A)
(L,A)
In addition to rambling about taking down hackers Shane also tweeted out pictures of his Microsoft support credentials, his health care plan card, his membership card for the ‘Microsoft Alumni’, and a door with his nametag on it:
(L,A)
Turns out he does this a lot on twitter to either threaten people or win political disagreements. Here are a few examples:
(L,A)
(L,A)
(L,A)
He also claims that he helped the FBI and Secret Service take down criminals during his time working in Microsoft customer support:
(L,A)
and spent his time in Microsoft customer support ‘putting away’ people who rape and murder children and has had his home swatted as a result of his work:
(L,A)
He sums up his work history in this tweet:
(L,A)
Also claims to be a genius at game design. Programming a flight simulator on his Commodore 64 at age 4:
(L,A)
The reality? Shane left Microsoft during 2016 and is currently on disability benefits. His poverty compels him to beg for gibs on his Facebook page:
His LinkedIn shows no cybersecurity or high-level programming expertise:
(L,A)
He worked for Microsoft in customer support and game testing. He has not held a job since 2016 and went on the disability pension during 2019. At this point nobody is sure exactly what his disability is. He's demonstrated some schizo traits but it could also be a tugboat for autism. His twitter bio lists 'cluster headaches and neuromuscular issues'.
(L,A)
War with the OnAForums:
After sperging out at people in the Patrick Tomlinson fake swatting twitter thread, Shane found the OnAForums (home of the OnA Pests) pretty quickly. His first strategy as a blackhat hacker was to report the entire forum to twitter safety:
(L,A)
After being roundly mocked on Kiwi Farms and OnAForums for this, Shane decided to put his money where his mouth was and “hack” the forum completely, claiming that he got access to the admin console and every forum private conversation, while adding that ‘BB’ is not a secure forum software (OnA forums uses XenForo):
(L,A)
He then claimed that he ripped a complete backup of the forum and sent everything to ‘law enforcement’.
(L,A)
(L,A)
The one casualty of this incredibly autistic turn of events? OnAForums @admin, who was completely baffled by the whole affair.
(L,A)
For anyone who is confused, the forum was not hacked. Shane repeatedly showed no literacy in programming language when people pointed out the forum doesn’t use his ‘BB’ code and instead used XenForo, at this point it is unclear if his hacking is a bluff or delusion.
Daddy Cum Cannon
A user of the OnAForums (Stifflersmom) contacted Shane through DMs in twitter. Although Mr. Cybersecurity expert was initially reluctant, he eventually let his guard down and started to reveal a few things:
Complete exchange is behind a spoiler. Last few images are NSFW. (L,A)
Game Designer on Fable II
Shane claims that he worked on a game by Lionhead Studios called Fable II which was released in 2008. He likes to constantly remind everyone of this fact to prove that he is very smart and to win twitter arguments. Here are a few examples:
(L,A)
To be fair, his name does appear in the credits - Vid here, Shane appears around 5.50.
What does the Volt stand for after his name you ask? This can be explained here (A). Shane was merely a video gamer tester hired by a company named Volt to test the game prior to release. He never actually 'worked' on the game.
Socking on reddit
@Plaintiff is fat has managed to dig up four confirmed reddit accounts for Shane so far: NorrathReaver, XboxMountainDew, Denny_Pragerplatter (all three accounts are suspended) and DewThePDX (as of right now this one is active and a few weeks old).
Shane likes to pick fights on reddit and show up as one of his alts to back himself up. Here's someone accusing Shane of socking:
(A)
Here is one of his confirmed accounts backing up another. Shane calls himself "pretty smart":
(A)
We know this is him because of posts outlining his professional career and retiring shy of 40 (L,A) and his neuromuscular issues (L,A).
Raped with a butterknife
(L,A)
This tweet is here not to prompt a debate on whether or not he's lying, but more as a demonstration of the fact that Shane will happily weaponize any tragic details from his pathetic life (real or imagined) to potentially own the trolls or win internet arguments. He has tweeted about his rape before, always using it as a cudgel against anyone who disagrees with him:
(L,A)
FAT
The fantasy:
(L,A)
(L,A)
The reality:
(L,A)
Yes, you read that correctly. He wrote a negative review about a medical practice that he attended for a broken tooth. The doctor expressed concern at his blood pressure and morbid obesity but Shane stuck his fingers in his ears and stated that he would rather have his teeth rot out than be told that his weight is a problem.
Something else of note (credit to @Your Favorite New Friend for pointing it out), the place that Shaun is reviewing - Olympia Union Gospel Mission - caters exclusively to the homeless:
(L,A)
That's right, 'Mr Bigshot Cybersecurity Expert' and member of the 'Microsoft Alumni' has to go to a homeless shelter for his medical care.
Relationship with a female gunt
Shane is in a relationship with a woman who owns a guntthat rivals Ethan Ralph's in size, which is pretty impressive when you think about it.
Wait... Hold on:
Holy Shit! His girlfriend won the great gunt off!
According to Shane his girlfriend has her own medical problems. It's baffling that someone with such an impressive gunt has a shitty heart:
(L,A)
Shane was married to another woman in 2006 and went through a divorce in 2009, the wife filed for divorce, because of course she did (thanks to @a hapless toad for finding these):
Criminal Record
Found by @Sprate Header :
(L)
The misdemeanor appears to be a shoplifting charge:
Recent Happenings:
- DOX FOUND. Credit to @Plaintiff is fat
- After going dark for a few months Shane is back and picking fights on a new twitter. @DewThePDX
Old Happenings:
- Someone found an old forum post of Shane's where he requested nudes of an underage girl.
- Shane was outed for pretending to be Jewish online for victim points.
- Shane posted a picture of his rotting maw in an effort to own the haters.
- Shane tweeted out a shirtless pic in an effort to own the haters.
- Shane and his guntfriend recorded a video together in an effort to own user @I'm Just A Worm
- Shane and/or his guntfriend have signed up to the farms on a new account, providing a horrifying selfie as proof it's them. Later they provided a second selfie.
- Someone found a reddit post where Shane bragged about feltching his own cum out of his guntfriend's filthy anus.
- Shane was banned from twitter for threatening to shoot a literary agent who dared to question Patrick Tomlinson's victim narrative.
(L,A)
(L,A)Shane E. Nokes is an extremely narcissistic and possibly schizophrenic internet tough guy who picks fights on twitter all day and posts screenshots of his old credentials as an Xbox Customer Support rep in an attempt to win internet arguments. Shane came to the attention of the farms during the twitter reaction to one of Patrick Tomlinson’s many swatting hoaxes. Pat made a twitter thread about a fake swatting and Shane randomly appeared and started threatening people, stating that he was some sort of cybersecurity expert and could easily find their identities.
“Retired Cybersecurity Expert”
(L,A)
(L,A)
(L,A)When pressed for evidence of his alleged expertise, Shane claimed that he was the sole person who brought down ‘Cosmo’ a famous hacker from the early days of online gaming on the Xbox. Shane has made this claim to other people on twitter before and claims that he 'went easy' on Cosmo due to his age (15), however, he is never mentioned in any publication around the arrest of Cosmo and no corroborating evidence has been found for any of this.
(L,A)
(L,A)In addition to rambling about taking down hackers Shane also tweeted out pictures of his Microsoft support credentials, his health care plan card, his membership card for the ‘Microsoft Alumni’, and a door with his nametag on it:
(L,A)
Turns out he does this a lot on twitter to either threaten people or win political disagreements. Here are a few examples:
(L,A)
(L,A)
(L,A)He also claims that he helped the FBI and Secret Service take down criminals during his time working in Microsoft customer support:
(L,A)and spent his time in Microsoft customer support ‘putting away’ people who rape and murder children and has had his home swatted as a result of his work:
(L,A)He sums up his work history in this tweet:
(L,A)Also claims to be a genius at game design. Programming a flight simulator on his Commodore 64 at age 4:
(L,A)The reality? Shane left Microsoft during 2016 and is currently on disability benefits. His poverty compels him to beg for gibs on his Facebook page:
His LinkedIn shows no cybersecurity or high-level programming expertise:
(L,A)He worked for Microsoft in customer support and game testing. He has not held a job since 2016 and went on the disability pension during 2019. At this point nobody is sure exactly what his disability is. He's demonstrated some schizo traits but it could also be a tugboat for autism. His twitter bio lists 'cluster headaches and neuromuscular issues'.
(L,A)
War with the OnAForums:
After sperging out at people in the Patrick Tomlinson fake swatting twitter thread, Shane found the OnAForums (home of the OnA Pests) pretty quickly. His first strategy as a blackhat hacker was to report the entire forum to twitter safety:
(L,A)After being roundly mocked on Kiwi Farms and OnAForums for this, Shane decided to put his money where his mouth was and “hack” the forum completely, claiming that he got access to the admin console and every forum private conversation, while adding that ‘BB’ is not a secure forum software (OnA forums uses XenForo):
(L,A)He then claimed that he ripped a complete backup of the forum and sent everything to ‘law enforcement’.
(L,A)
(L,A)The one casualty of this incredibly autistic turn of events? OnAForums @admin, who was completely baffled by the whole affair.
(L,A)For anyone who is confused, the forum was not hacked. Shane repeatedly showed no literacy in programming language when people pointed out the forum doesn’t use his ‘BB’ code and instead used XenForo, at this point it is unclear if his hacking is a bluff or delusion.
Daddy Cum Cannon
A user of the OnAForums (Stifflersmom) contacted Shane through DMs in twitter. Although Mr. Cybersecurity expert was initially reluctant, he eventually let his guard down and started to reveal a few things:
- His partner’s pet name for him is ‘Daddy Cum Cannon'
- That he has no cybersecurity or hacking expertise.
- That as a member of the ‘Microsoft Alumni’ he has access to a deep pool of lawyers who will happily go forth and sue everyone being mean to him.
- That’s he’s a leech on a disability pension.
Complete exchange is behind a spoiler. Last few images are NSFW. (L,A)
Game Designer on Fable II
Shane claims that he worked on a game by Lionhead Studios called Fable II which was released in 2008. He likes to constantly remind everyone of this fact to prove that he is very smart and to win twitter arguments. Here are a few examples:
(L,A)To be fair, his name does appear in the credits - Vid here, Shane appears around 5.50.
What does the Volt stand for after his name you ask? This can be explained here (A). Shane was merely a video gamer tester hired by a company named Volt to test the game prior to release. He never actually 'worked' on the game.
Socking on reddit
@Plaintiff is fat has managed to dig up four confirmed reddit accounts for Shane so far: NorrathReaver, XboxMountainDew, Denny_Pragerplatter (all three accounts are suspended) and DewThePDX (as of right now this one is active and a few weeks old).
Shane likes to pick fights on reddit and show up as one of his alts to back himself up. Here's someone accusing Shane of socking:
(A)Here is one of his confirmed accounts backing up another. Shane calls himself "pretty smart":
(A)We know this is him because of posts outlining his professional career and retiring shy of 40 (L,A) and his neuromuscular issues (L,A).
Raped with a butterknife
(L,A)This tweet is here not to prompt a debate on whether or not he's lying, but more as a demonstration of the fact that Shane will happily weaponize any tragic details from his pathetic life (real or imagined) to potentially own the trolls or win internet arguments. He has tweeted about his rape before, always using it as a cudgel against anyone who disagrees with him:
(L,A)FAT
The fantasy:
(L,A)
(L,A)The reality:
(L,A)Yes, you read that correctly. He wrote a negative review about a medical practice that he attended for a broken tooth. The doctor expressed concern at his blood pressure and morbid obesity but Shane stuck his fingers in his ears and stated that he would rather have his teeth rot out than be told that his weight is a problem.
Something else of note (credit to @Your Favorite New Friend for pointing it out), the place that Shaun is reviewing - Olympia Union Gospel Mission - caters exclusively to the homeless:
(L,A)That's right, 'Mr Bigshot Cybersecurity Expert' and member of the 'Microsoft Alumni' has to go to a homeless shelter for his medical care.
Relationship with a female gunt
Shane is in a relationship with a woman who owns a gunt
Wait... Hold on:
Holy Shit! His girlfriend won the great gunt off!
According to Shane his girlfriend has her own medical problems. It's baffling that someone with such an impressive gunt has a shitty heart:
(L,A)Shane was married to another woman in 2006 and went through a divorce in 2009, the wife filed for divorce, because of course she did (thanks to @a hapless toad for finding these):
Criminal Record
Found by @Sprate Header :
(L)The misdemeanor appears to be a shoplifting charge:
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