Stephanie Cianfriglia / Sapphire Crimson Claw / Yarrow Brown / the-ghost-fucker / transmascdruid / anarchoenby77 / darktwistedpussy / Druid of Endicot - Xe/xyr ghost-fucker, womb wizard, hand sanitizer sommelier, trans-boomer, violently abuses her elderly parents, has sexual fantasies about raping children

[Pee Your Pants]

The 'most viewed post!' brag and then it being because of 3 likes and 5 comments is tragic and hilarious.

I think there are missing screenshots of the anon revealing that their spirit spouse was Ted Kaczinsky?

I finally read the last chapter of A Complicated Man. There isn't anything interesting/problematic about it, but the 'Astute observation, my dear boy!' cracked me up. Very fun to read out. I hope that really is the final chapter, because its dull in comparison to her fantasy Jeff one. Its utterly wild and highly entertaining, although the way she lists every minute movement when they kiss is beyond autistic and the most boring thing about it. I felt like I was going mental reading it out:

With a soft grip to the hip, Jeff brought Ehren’s body to rest softly against his. His mouth then crashed into xies, and kissed xier passionately. In response, Ehren placed xies long, slender hands around Jeff’s shoulders. They then began an oral choreography, Jeff’s teeth grazing xies bottom lip, Ehren’s tongue lapping his top lip, Jeff tilting his head and massaging his bottom lip delicately up and down Ehren’s. Jeff then bent his head slightly and left a trail of kisses down one side of Ehren’s neck and up the other. Ehren then took one of xies hands off Jeff’s shoulder and stroked his sternum, then slid it lower to the top portion of his stomach.

This bit had me wheeze laughing:

Jeff rumbled low in his chest in pleasure, and his opposite hand went to the fly of the jumpsuit. He dragged it down to his waist, and the black t-shirt underneath evaporated like smoke.

I love how he struggled taking off his jump suit but had the power to make his T-shirt evaporate.

 

[omori]

This isn’t the final chapter. AO3 has a counter for chapters that you can either edit to adjust if you’re unsure of how long your fic will be or preset if you’re more positive of where it will end. The Jeffrey Love Fest Staph is penning currently stands at 10/11.

 

[Humbert Humbert]

I think there are missing screenshots of the anon revealing that their spirit spouse was Ted

Yeah, I decided mid-post to omit it since it felt personal and not inherently staph related, but I forgot to excise that part of the text.

 

[Tangled Headphones]

I tried to make a picrew that actually looks like her for once with that one she posted on tumblr

 

[BoobWhiskers]

That 'hire a nonbinary (pedophile) POC' thing made me laugh. I know she's trying to be smug but it just sounds like she's agreeing with the commenter in calling nonbinaries pedophiles.

On a side note, anyone notice that her 'Satanic Grimoire UWU' has another little bit of her shamelessly yanking another minority culture?
The idea of spirits and shit associated with cardinal directions is pretty pan-cultural, but specifically calling it a Medicine Wheel is very North American Indigenous. Tacking on your edgelord European Satanism is a little culturally appropriative, wouldn't you say Stapphy?

Spoiler: re Medicine Wheels

Can't attest for how seriously anyone takes that shit because Natives I know generally describe it as 'shit you slap on something to sell to dumb white tourists', but ymmv and your average tumblr user would rip her to shreds over this if anyone paid attention to her.

 

[Anna O]

This isn’t the final chapter. AO3 has a counter for chapters that you can either edit to adjust if you’re unsure of how long your fic will be or preset if you’re more positive of where it will end. The Jeffrey Love Fest Staph is penning currently stands at 10/11.

It was originally set at 10 chapters. A few updates ago it got changed to 11, but Stephanie, true to boomer form, apparently has no idea how that happened or how to fix it. In one of her author’s notes a while back she said that it was still going to end after the planned 10 chapters, and that the counter would just have to be inaccurate.

Edit: from the horse succubus’ mouth

 

[Aunt Carol]

As a music sperg, I can't get over her saying one of her favourite bands is 'the Talking Heads' lol. Makes her sound like an uncle trying to be hip.

I was thinking about this, and I'm pretty sure I've heard the members use "the" when they're talking about the band in interviews and so on. Off the top of my head, in Stop Making Sense after "Genius of Love," Chris says "that's it for the Tom Tom Club; we're gonna turn back into the Talking Heads."

It's a little weird to keep the article when she's making a bulk list of bands, though.

I am surprised she's a fan. I wonder what deep thoughts Staph has about "Tentative Decisions," "Artists Only," "Seen and Not Seen," "No Compassion," "Television Man," "Love for Sale," "People Like Us" or "(Nothing But) Flowers."

Or, for that matter, "Now I'm Your Mom."

 

[Pee Your Pants]

I was thinking about this, and I'm pretty sure I've heard the members use "the" when they're talking about the band in interviews and so on. Off the top of my head, in Stop Making Sense after "Genius of Love," Chris says "that's it for the Tom Tom Club; we're gonna turn back into the Talking Heads."

It's a little weird to keep the article when she's making a bulk list of bands, though.

I am surprised she's a fan. I wonder what deep thoughts Staph has about "Tentative Decisions," "Artists Only," "Seen and Not Seen," "No Compassion," "Television Man," "Love for Sale," "People Like Us" or "(Nothing But) Flowers."

Or, for that matter, "Now I'm Your Mom."

Always happy to be out-sperged when it comes to music. I think we are giving Staph too much credit for this one. She probably heard Psycho Killer over a Dahmer tribute YouTube video and now claims the band as one of her favourites.

I would love to know what Staph's favourite songs of all time are in general. What a great Spotify playlist that would be to listen to. I'm guessing five Michael Jackson hits and odd songs from true crime TV shows.

 

[BoobWhiskers]

Also Gay Aiken, probably.

 

[PBR Streetgang]

It's one thing to write fanfiction or whatever about your imaginary ghost boyfriend, but it's an entirely different level of pitiful to make little tweets and tumblr notes about your "relationship."
Stephanie has done worse, but my god, something about her being like "we laugh so much and have such a great time! Love my man" about a relationship she does not have...it feels like something the prosecution offers as evidence in a murder trial lol. And I don't mean to say "oh no, Yarbles is scary like Richard Ramirez!" But more like "Well here's a person self-absorbed enough to do something typically awful and think it makes them interesting or important."

Sometimes I wonder if it's only a matter of time before reality catches up with Stephanie. (Not an a-log or whatever, I don't want her to get hurt. She's been a danger to others but is also just a sped who should be in a home.) It just feels like it's only a matter of time before someone seriously grifts her, moves in and refuses to leave, gets ahold of her bank account, etc. or worse. Though I will confess that something safe like a "Stephanie spends a night in jail for chimping out at the wrong person" moment would be hilarious.

Then again, maybe I'm wrong. Nothing ever happens to her and she isn't doing anything with her life, after all

 

[glass_houses]

It's one thing to write fanfiction or whatever about your imaginary ghost boyfriend, but it's an entirely different level of pitiful to make little tweets and tumblr notes about your "relationship."
Stephanie has done worse, but my god, something about her being like "we laugh so much and have such a great time! Love my man" about a relationship she does not have...it feels like something the prosecution offers as evidence in a murder trial lol. And I don't mean to say "oh no, Yarbles is scary like Richard Ramirez!" But more like "Well here's a person self-absorbed enough to do something typically awful and think it makes them interesting or important."

Staph is a narc; no matter what happens to her and what part she had in it, it'll always be someone else's fault. So when she inevitably does get stung, she'll whine and complain, and learn absolutely nothing from the experience. However, that's still a ways away. The last time she got scammed, along with the predictable whining, she mentioned that her parents still have access to her bank accounts. As long as her parents are still alive and mentally capable, they'll be there to haul her out of whatever hole she's dug for herself. Once they're gone, Staph had better hope that she hasn't completely alienated her remaining adopted family, because that's when the vultures will be well and truly circling.

 

[Fancy Carstairs]

Staph is a narc; no matter what happens to her and what part she had in it, it'll always be someone else's fault. So when she inevitably does get stung, she'll whine and complain, and learn absolutely nothing from the experience. However, that's still a ways away. The last time she got scammed, along with the predictable whining, she mentioned that her parents still have access to her bank accounts. As long as her parents are still alive and mentally capable, they'll be there to haul her out of whatever hole she's dug for herself. Once they're gone, Staph had better hope that she hasn't completely alienated her remaining adopted family, because that's when the vultures will be well and truly circling.

oh yeah haha remember when she got scammed and then was afraid of her mom finding out and then got scammed again lolol

 

[Monkey Pink]

I tried to make a picrew that actually looks like her for once with that one she posted on tumblr
View attachment 4859321

I think Stephanie may actually not realize how she looks IRL. A complete lack of self-awareness and a good touch of face blindness. Her blonde character that she thinks she looks like is Chris Chan levels of delusional.

 

[omori]

I feel mildly cheated out of an epilogue where Staph describes her Not-Self Insert reacting to Jeffy getting his skull caved in. A fade to black sex scene is so anticlimactic, smh Stephanie.

 

[Pee Your Pants]

Here you go, I'll write it for you:

It had been nine months since your passionate encounter with Jeff. You had been busy: you had graduated from university and were now working in the field of forensic psychology. You had learnt from your time with Jeff: you had single handedly stopped fifteen gay serial killers before they reached past five murders, by using cuddles and your magic pussy. They were very impressed by your knowledge of serial killers and psychology. 'It helps that you're hot, too" each one had said.
Your phone rang, and you answered it. It was a familiar voice.
'Have you heard the bad news?' Lionel sighed. You replied in the negative.
'Jeff was killed in prison, they thought he was a racist pedo and bashed his head in.'
The room started to spin. Not my Jeff, you thought. He loved those young brown boys. Why would someone kill him?
You put the phone down in shock and sobbed your heart out, replaying all the magical moments you shared, thought of his rippling abs and his loving words. 'You're such a sexy boy, wow, you're so perfect in every way.'
Your tears fell onto the baby you were holding. A baby that had Jeff's eyes.
You had told Jeff that you had a hysterectomy, but that wasn't true. The last time you had sex with Jeff, you had become pregnant, but didn't want Jeff to know that you had lied, because he would also find out that you had also lied about being a trans man.
You looked at yours and Jeff's baby. Since xem's birth, you felt that xem kept the link between you and Jeff alive. Now you knew: xem was the reincarnated Jeff. You finally chose xem's name... And you would now use Jeff/Jeffself pronouns.
'We will always be together, Jeff,' you cried happily. 'I will always love you...'

I feel autistic for writing that but I hope it brought you closure.

 

[Anna O]

Here you go, I'll write it for you:

A horrifyingly precise rendition of her style…the gratuitous “had”s, the “responded in the negative,” etc….that could only have been achieved by a true and honest Stephanie Book Club devotee. Amazing work, bravo

 

[PBR Streetgang]

Staph is a narc; no matter what happens to her and what part she had in it, it'll always be someone else's fault. So when she inevitably does get stung, she'll whine and complain, and learn absolutely nothing from the experience. However, that's still a ways away. The last time she got scammed, along with the predictable whining, she mentioned that her parents still have access to her bank accounts. As long as her parents are still alive and mentally capable, they'll be there to haul her out of whatever hole she's dug for herself. Once they're gone, Staph had better hope that she hasn't completely alienated her remaining adopted family, because that's when the vultures will be well and truly circling.

Exactly. I definitely don't entertain any fantasies of her actually learning and changing or anything

I think Stephanie may actually not realize how she looks IRL. A complete lack of self-awareness and a good touch of face blindness. Her blonde character that she thinks she looks like is Chris Chan levels of delusional.

Face blindness just means you have a hard time recognizing people, telling one from another. Unless it's cripplingly, Oliver Sacks level severe, you're capable of seeing individual features and can tell if someone is homely. Stephanie has got something else going on as far as her self-perception, imo.
This might sound weird, but I've always thought she has this idea that whatever emotion or vibe she's projecting at the camera will somehow be captured by it. Like she thinks "I feel sexy, I'm exuding sexiness, people will see that." "I'm feeling like a spooky succubus in this picture, people will see that." Regardless of what is actually in the photograph itself. Like she has some problem with theory of mind, some connection isn't being made regarding how others will form their own ideas and impressions of her. I really believe this is the case with her, it's the only way to explain how she can share these dead-eyed, doughy selfies with the world with captions about how she's so hot it confuses guys dicks.

 

[Aunt Carol]

I feel autistic for writing that but I hope it brought you closure.

Remember to click the box so there's a "works inspired by this one" link on Staph's original fic.

 

[Faglock Holmes]

I think Stephanie may actually not realize how she looks IRL. A complete lack of self-awareness and a good touch of face blindness. Her blonde character that she thinks she looks like is Chris Chan levels of delusional.

Steph is 17 layers deep in denial. It’s less likely that she has facial blindness, and more likely that’s she’s so far deep in her escapist delusion that she refuses to process the truth of how she actually looks. Escapism is a powerful drug, and it’s very possible she takes her selfies without stopping to actually look at them, because she knows it would destroy the illusion if she thought about it too much.

Spoiler: PL

Having facial blindness isn’t that bad. I mostly recognize people based on their clothes, voices and hair styles, lol. Staph is on a level of retard that is hard to replicate.

 

[Vandy2]

Nothing Gyro has ever done has been genuine so naturally any emotion they pretend to have for the camera isn't going to show through because it's fake. They mirror the expressions they think supermodels do with their mouths persed and think that's what sexy is. But in reality there is a lot of thought to angle, lighting, makeup, and so much more that makes a cover model "sexy." Sexy is an attitude and it's always obvious when somebody thinks they're hot versus someone who just is hot without self obsessing over it.

Also Gyro is fat and I would not have sex with them.