The Retail Horror Thread 2: More Tales to Chill your Bones

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

Looks like I spoke too soon about quitting.

I got a phone call from work since I was scheduled to work today. I was going to ignore it but ultimately answered. Got my department head, who wanted to know if I was okay and WTF happened because what I did the day before was "very unlike [me]." Was given the option to either immediately resign or take an unpaid week off as a breather. I took the latter as a "fine, at least I'll get a mini break while I keep applying for other jobs" move. Although if my manager was the one that called, I would've told him straight up to go fuck himself. I need the money, but oh god, the less I deal with that fuckhead, the better. At this point I don't know if I'm more done with the manager or the Shaniquas.

Most likely a dumb move, but it'll bide me some time and regain some sanity. Already put a couple more applications in. Hope I get a bite.

Sounds like Management realized that one of the good workers is about to Poof and is afraid of that happening.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Sounds like Management realized that one of the good workers is about to Poof and is afraid of that happening.

Joke's on them, I'm moving in a few months anyway. So they're losing me regardless. The tossup is if it's during the summer or in a couple weeks. If they truly wanted me to stay, then they should've treated me better. Especially since it seems like I'm the one that carries the department most nights. I'm often left to my own devices for hours. Something something eggs in one basket.

 

[Overcast]

The past few weeks have made me absolutely sick of people. The month I took off to recover from surgery clearly wasn't enough.

 

[Quijibo69]

My Manger got fired, don't feel confident I'll still have a job in the near future.

 

[likeacrackado]

These stories make me grateful that I worked in grocery stores near upper middle class neighborhoods. My most memorable "bad" story is when I asked a lady for her ID as a compliment. Context: I was required to ask for IDs of everyone who looked 30 and under, sometimes I did the thing where you ask an old lady for her ID as a nice gesture. She looked like she was in her 40s but had a bunch of work done on her face to look younger. After I asked for the ID she got pissy and repeatedly asked me if she looked under 21. Thankfully she didn't have many items and I got her checked out quickly.

As a result of switching back and forth between stores I was at the bottom of the totem pole despite working there for over a year. During the early days of covid this meant that I was designated to count customers as they entered or exited the store. It ended up being better than working a register because I only had to greet customers and no one was around to get mad at me for listening to stuff on my ear buds.

They gave me a walkie talkie and told me to buzz the floor manager whenever a customer entered the store without a mask. For example as soon as they where out of ear shot I would say "customer without mask, wearing red shirt, headed into fresh fruit section". It was awkward and I felt like a narc, but the local mandate only lasted a month.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Anyone remember Granny from a few pages back?

First off, I have since discovered that she drives. On her own. She's just as slow at putting away her items as she is with everything else, and has to prop herself against her car to get into the damn thing. I have no idea how she gets in/out to her home. She doesn't use a walker or cane as far as I can tell.

Normally when I see Granny, it's a bad omen that I'll have a super shitty close. She's so slow that if the closing cashier bails early (as they tend to do), I have to take care of her and she'll hold up everything from how slow she is. Example: "Toilet, what is the total? Oh, I'm short how much? Oh, don't worry, I have the change!" *spends the next three minutes digging through her wallet for exact change and still comes up short*

I had been having a very unusually good day at work tonight. Needless to say, imagine my shock that I spot her at the closed registers five minutes before closing. I was about to call her to the self checkout to process her order when I noticed she didn't have her usual reusable bag with her. She rummaged through her purse for a good five minutes before sloooowlllyyyy walking out of the store.

A guy that turned out to be a co worker, but not one that I often see, came up to me right around this time asking for a piece of paper. He stated that he was helping out a "senior in need" and needed to write down some things while communicating with her via texting and checking out with a couple bags of groceries. This went on for about ten minutes until he finished paying and left to go look for the woman. I figured that everyone else had left, so I shut off all but a couple registers for night crew and dropped the till.

After I signed out, the guy asked me if I had seen the woman. He described her in a way that made me realize he was talking about Granny.

"She left five minutes before closing," I replied.

He was stunned. A couple of the other night crew people were as well.

"That's weird," One of the night crew people said. "She's usually so damn slow. She's normally still in the store right now [ten minutes after closing]."

"Exactly," the co worker that bought groceries for her said. He whipped his phone out again as if he was attempting to contact her to see where the hell she was. When I was leaving the store after buying my own stuff, she was sllooowwlllyyy driving away at the same time as another car. I presume it was the other guy at least making sure that she was able to go home safely.

I had been considering contacting APS on her myself because I keep picturing some fuckboy driving 90 mph on the late night highway slamming into her going 20. Haven't gotten to it for multiple reasons. But it's clear that a lot of us are very worried about Granny, if not also annoyed as fuck at how slow she is. She really, really needs an assistant.

 

[cactus]

Anyone remember Granny from a few pages back?

First off, I have since discovered that she drives. On her own. She's just as slow at putting away her items as she is with everything else, and has to prop herself against her car to get into the damn thing. I have no idea how she gets in/out to her home. She doesn't use a walker or cane as far as I can tell.

Normally when I see Granny, it's a bad omen that I'll have a super shitty close. She's so slow that if the closing cashier bails early (as they tend to do), I have to take care of her and she'll hold up everything from how slow she is. Example: "Toilet, what is the total? Oh, I'm short how much? Oh, don't worry, I have the change!" *spends the next three minutes digging through her wallet for exact change and still comes up short*

I had been having a very unusually good day at work tonight. Needless to say, imagine my shock that I spot her at the closed registers five minutes before closing. I was about to call her to the self checkout to process her order when I noticed she didn't have her usual reusable bag with her. She rummaged through her purse for a good five minutes before sloooowlllyyyy walking out of the store.

A guy that turned out to be a co worker, but not one that I often see, came up to me right around this time asking for a piece of paper. He stated that he was helping out a "senior in need" and needed to write down some things while communicating with her via texting and checking out with a couple bags of groceries. This went on for about ten minutes until he finished paying and left to go look for the woman. I figured that everyone else had left, so I shut off all but a couple registers for night crew and dropped the till.

After I signed out, the guy asked me if I had seen the woman. He described her in a way that made me realize he was talking about Granny.

"She left five minutes before closing," I replied.

He was stunned. A couple of the other night crew people were as well.

"That's weird," One of the night crew people said. "She's usually so damn slow. She's normally still in the store right now [ten minutes after closing]."

"Exactly," the co worker that bought groceries for her said. He whipped his phone out again as if he was attempting to contact her to see where the hell she was. When I was leaving the store after buying my own stuff, she was sllooowwlllyyy driving away at the same time as another car. I presume it was the other guy at least making sure that she was able to go home safely.

I had been considering contacting APS on her myself because I keep picturing some fuckboy driving 90 mph on the late night highway slamming into her going 20. Haven't gotten to it for multiple reasons. But it's clear that a lot of us are very worried about Granny, if not also annoyed as fuck at how slow she is. She really, really needs an assistant.

You can be pulled over for driving too slow because it's considered obstruction of traffic and if you have to drive that slow, you're a driving hazard and need your license revolked.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

You can be pulled over for driving too slow because it's considered obstruction of traffic and if you have to drive that slow, you're a driving hazard and need your license revolked.

I'm pretty sure that she comes so late at night because traffic is (usually) slower before we close. We're still off a major road. She really should not be driving with her response time. She also struggles to pick up items on her own. Assisted living has its own crappy things about it, but it exists precisely for people like her. She's not as independent as she thinks she is.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Guess who was the unlucky bastard that had to ring up an $800 order ten minutes before closing?

The fun part was that despite many of the items being in giant quantities or in cases, none of the customers knew how many (for example) frozen chimichangas they had. So I had to manually count or scan every last chimichanga. (It was about 60, by the way.)

 

[glass_houses]

Guess who was the unlucky bastard that had to ring up an $800 order ten minutes before closing?

The fun part was that despite many of the items being in giant quantities or in cases, none of the customers knew how many (for example) frozen chimichangas they had. So I had to manually count or scan every last chimichanga. (It was about 60, by the way.)

You feeling better lately, my dude?

 

[toilet_rainbow]

You feeling better lately, my dude?

Thanks for asking. Better than earlier. Job still sucks cock but I'm not as blown out at the moment. So that's something.

 

[Kled]

@toilet_rainbow im happy to see you're doing better. I was pretty sad that you got broken that easily but nice bounce back and silver lining that you're leaving anyway.

I think i mentioned that after i got fired from covid lockdowns at my gas station job, it broke something inside of me that when hired at Walmart the following summer i just couldnt take it and quit after 3 days (aside from having trouble finding a ride at 3am). I havent had a retail job or customer service job since aside from a stint at a Murphy's that ended the same way. I think corporate chains have completely drained me and fucked me up so i decided to work for myself and its spotty sure, but im getting income from 4 different sources that include volunteer work so good ending for now.

I have a couple of new stories from my time working at Local Gas Chain I dont think i shared here. For the record while i have issues with managerial staff, my managers here were great and i think about them constantly and hope they are doing ok.

Story 1: I ended up getting a perfect schedule where i work openings from sat-tues 8 hours a shift where im mostly by myself and its rather slow between 10am and 1. Perfect shit. One morning I had some Asian lady rush in the door and DEMAND why her card wasnt working at the pump. Her brand new Infinity SUV needed gas NOW. I offer to just take her card inside and i guess i wasnt moving as fast as i could despite the process taking less than a minute so she yelled at me to void the transaction and sped the fuck off as if she desperately had somewhere to be. A complete waste of time for both parties.

Story 2: Not a horror but curious in hindsight-- had a bail bondsman come in asking for an ex coworker who was caught skipping her bond and hiding with her kids in a van. Idk if she was caught but this coworker just...idk what happened but she just completely stopped giving a shit after getting railed for fucking up the till multiple times.

Also had someone get menstrual blood all over tge women's bathroom toilet on the floor. Fun summer day to clean that up while being the only one on shift (bathrooms are outside).

 

[Jason Wynn]

For anyone still working retail I’m curious how you guys are able to handle shoplifters. I’m from Oregon and I’m not exaggerating when I say thieves can literally dance out the door with overflowing carts of stolen merch and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do about it. You try stopping them, even just trying to grab the cart back is an automatic termination. Loss prevention (if there even is LP) can’t chase them out and detain them anymore, all they can do is stand around and try to pose as a deterrent. Police won’t do shit if called. It’s gotten really bad. I’m just curious if it’s as bad in your neck of the woods and if you’re allowed to do anything besides smile and wave at them

 

[Spud]

For anyone still working retail I’m curious how you guys are able to handle shoplifters. I’m from Oregon and I’m not exaggerating when I say thieves can literally dance out the door with overflowing carts of stolen merch and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do about it. You try stopping them, even just trying to grab the cart back is an automatic termination. Loss prevention (if there even is LP) can’t chase them out and detain them anymore, all they can do is stand around and try to pose as a deterrent. Police won’t do shit if called. It’s gotten really bad. I’m just curious if it’s as bad in your neck of the woods and if you’re allowed to do anything besides smile and wave at them

Make every item in the shop cost 1k but when you go to the checkout the prices are normal, then you can say that a higher value of money has been stolen when someone shop lifts

 

[toilet_rainbow]

@toilet_rainbow im happy to see you're doing better. I was pretty sad that you got broken that easily but nice bounce back and silver lining that you're leaving anyway.

Thanks, dude. I've been going through a lot with both my health and my job. Still looking for something that'll work out until I move but in the meantime I'm trying to focus on that. I have big things coming my way.

I think i mentioned that after i got fired from covid lockdowns at my gas station job, it broke something inside of me that when hired at Walmart the following summer i just couldnt take it and quit after 3 days (aside from having trouble finding a ride at 3am). I havent had a retail job or customer service job since aside from a stint at a Murphy's that ended the same way. I think corporate chains have completely drained me and fucked me up so i decided to work for myself and its spotty sure, but im getting income from 4 different sources that include volunteer work so good ending for now.

That's good for you, too! I've read your posts about how hard retail kicked your ass as well. Retail is soul sucking.

For anyone still working retail I’m curious how you guys are able to handle shoplifters. I’m from Oregon and I’m not exaggerating when I say thieves can literally dance out the door with overflowing carts of stolen merch and there’s not a damn thing anyone can do about it. You try stopping them, even just trying to grab the cart back is an automatic termination. Loss prevention (if there even is LP) can’t chase them out and detain them anymore, all they can do is stand around and try to pose as a deterrent. Police won’t do shit if called. It’s gotten really bad. I’m just curious if it’s as bad in your neck of the woods and if you’re allowed to do anything besides smile and wave at them

Our policy states that we can tell them to come back and finish paying, but once they go out the door don't chase. That policy is most likely for legal reasons. I don't think we even have a proper loss prevention position.

The Shaniqua turned supervisor that I mentioned awhile back actually did just that right before she got promoted. Saw a woman with a full cart of groceries leave the store, chased after them outside, and notified the manager (who called the police). A couple days later I first saw her learning lotto. She also made sure to tell me that the shoplifter managed to evade me while I was helping another customer at self checkout. Just dug into me about how I fucked up so badly and how she saw it on camera but it's allll good now. So I think she got rewarded despite that it being very, very against the rules. FML.

 

[Honka Honka Burning Love]

The Shaniqua turned supervisor that I mentioned awhile back actually did just that right before she got promoted. Saw a woman with a full cart of groceries leave the store, chased after them outside, and notified the manager (who called the police). A couple days later I first saw her learning lotto. She also made sure to tell me that the shoplifter managed to evade me while I was helping another customer at self checkout. Just dug into me about how I fucked up so badly and how she saw it on camera but it's allll good now. So I think she got rewarded despite that it being very, very against the rules. FML.

"We can't punish the Sheboon and we better promote her just to make sure she doesn't chimp out and call us racist"

 

[toilet_rainbow]

"We can't punish the Sheboon and we better promote her just to make sure she doesn't chimp out and call us racist"

And it looks like the power is already getting to her head, despite that she's barely above me in rank. Nothing like being policed on how I need to do [thing I already do] while I still have to teach her shit. I know learning on the job is a thing, but this is ridiculous. She got a manager override code despite not knowing how to process tax exemptions? Shit like this is why I believe in the Dilbert Principle.

At least my batshit manager is on vacation this week. There is still some good in this world.

 

[glass_houses]

And it looks like the power is already getting to her head, despite that she's barely above me in rank. Nothing like being policed on how I need to do [thing I already do] while I still have to teach her shit. I know learning on the job is a thing, but this is ridiculous. She got a manager override code despite not knowing how to process tax exemptions? Shit like this is why I believe in the Dilbert Principle.

At least my batshit manager is on vacation this week. There is still some good in this world.

Ah yes, training your boss in how to do their job, and them being arseholes to you because you're an ignorant peasant who doesn't know what you're doing and how dare you think that you can tell them what to do. Just wait until you're spending all your shift fixing up all her mistakes and fuckwittery, while she screams at you the entire time because it's your fault she's a moron.

Get out as soon as you can, Toilet. She's going to deliberately terrorise you until you have a breakdown, and get rid of all the skilled staff members so no one can see how badly she's fucking up or challenge her when she throws a tantrum. No matter how much she costs them, management will always back a diversity hire and will destroy anyone who tries to blow the whistle or buck the narrative. You are screwed. You need to start looking for further employment right now.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

Ah yes, training your boss in how to do their job, and them being arseholes to you because you're an ignorant peasant who doesn't know what you're doing and how dare you think that you can tell them what to do. Just wait until you're spending all your shift fixing up all her mistakes and fuckwittery, while she screams at you the entire time because it's your fault she's a moron.

Get out as soon as you can, Toilet. She's going to deliberately terrorise you until you have a breakdown, and get rid of all the skilled staff members so no one can see how badly she's fucking up or challenge her when she throws a tantrum. No matter how much she costs them, management will always back a diversity hire and will destroy anyone who tries to blow the whistle or buck the narrative. You are screwed. You need to start looking for further employment right now.

Oh trust me, I'm looking. I'm just not getting any bites (or the few I do end up rejecting me), which is frustrating as fuck. She's not too tyrannical at the moment, and I don't see her every night, but good fucking lord.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

While most people in my area stopped wearing masks back in like, 2020, we still get customers and employees that regularly wear them. As long as you're not an asshole about it, I don't care. There are a few people, however, that come into the store suited up like they're about to study Covid itself at the fuckin' CDC. Face shield, face mask, arm length gloves on. They always either demand that you wash the belts or scanners before their groceries are scanned/bagged (more often than not by you), or they will do it themselves without prompting (more often than not with wipes or Lysol that they brought in themselves). Almost all of them are middle aged black women. They are some of the most entitled customers I get. Impressive, given the stories I've told here.

Had a member of this Shaniqua subclass visit self checkout tonight. She asked me if I had any wet wipes to give her to sanitize her register. I did not. She grabbed paper towels and cleaner from the central kiosk to clean the scanner that I had cleaned ten minutes prior. (Those scanners get filthy frighteningly fast, so I'm always cleaning them.) She then proceeded to grab a plastic grocery bag, while wearing plastic gloves, mind you, to pick up her groceries and then drop them into another plastic bag. If she needed to weigh produce, she would place a plastic bag on top of the scanner and lay the produce on the bag to weigh it. The scanner hated that. It kept screaming scale errors at me via SCO's central Zebra.

She kept asking me to void items because she didn't realize the price or decided that her ground turkey container looked too puffy for her liking. I voided so much crap that I worried that the register would lock and I'd require a manager override code to unlock it. (I did not. Thank god, because she was already glaring at me every time that I had to touch the register screen with my filthy worker hands (that I had slathered with hand sanitizer right before she came into SCO))

How did this woman that was so scared of germs pay her bill? With cold hard cash. Including coins. Only coins are dirtier than bills. She was such a derp that she left behind her change (including several bills) until I flagged her down.

"Oh, God bless you!" She said. "I am just feeling so blessed by God today! It's all I can think about! You know that car accident that happened at [a fast food place] across the road last night? I was going to go there for dinner, but didn't! God was protecting me! He loves me so much and now He had you help me, too! It's all that's on my mind! Thank you! God bless!"

Alrighty, then.