Suddenly feeling feminine?
I've been on testosterone for almost a year now, it'll be a year in just two weeks. When I first started testosterone my dysphoria was so bad to the point I didn't shower for a month cause I couldn't stand seeing myself without baggy clothes on.
With coming up on a year, things have drastically changed. The thing is, I've always wanted to be feminine, but the way a guy is feminine. I asked everyone to call me by my chosen male name, and even went by he/him pronouns. I saw myself as a feminine man, who liked men. A gay trans man. Now, im questioning myself. I've been feeling extremely feminine. A while ago, someone called me their girlfriend as a joke (I was not out to them), and I liked the term. I enjoy being seen a feminine figure, but I'm not sure if I like she/her pronouns. Now I don't know if I want top surgery, but maybe just a breast reduction. Another thing that changed is I seem to mainly be into women now. I'm still into men, but NOWHERE near as much as I used to be. And for the first time in the 20 years of my life, i experienced baby fever, and I said to myself "I think I want to be pregnant".
I hate this feeling because I have seen myself as a trans man for seven years, and it feels like everything changed within a month, and it's so overwhelming!! I won't stop taking testosterone because I'm worried I'll regret it, but what if I don't like myself as masculine? What if I decide to be more feminine and start feeling dysphoric again? I don't know what to do, I'm almost heartbroken over this.