- Joined
- May 26, 2013
Has she, I always thought she kept Jack on a tight leash around the demon rum. I suppose perhaps she was simply trying to wrangle him away from trying to bend any more stop signs with his face.
Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental
- Thread starter Gentlebastard
- Start date
- Joined
- Aug 2, 2021
People in the thread speculating Jack could survive another ten years 
Maybe I could see it if God actually blessed him with foresight for once and he COMPLETELY changed his lifestyle overnight. With his current health choices though? I'll be impressed if he makes it to 2025
Maybe I could see it if God actually blessed him with foresight for once and he COMPLETELY changed his lifestyle overnight. With his current health choices though? I'll be impressed if he makes it to 2025
Last edited:
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2022
I think we're going to see more "Assembling With Jack" videos. Where he narrates and tells Hammy what to do. He's such a narcissist that he's not going to give up on that.
Some of the early Fat on the Go videos have shown her drinking. And I think she had a drink during their cruise. I think she treats it as a kind of "moral" thing but occasionally, like on vacation, she'll loosen up a bit.
- Joined
- Apr 14, 2013
It's funny how anti-drinking some sects can be, when Jesus states in Matthew 15:11 "What goes into someone’s mouth does not defile them, but what comes out of their mouth, that is what defiles them.”
I read that as drinking is fine, but you're still accountable for your actions, drunk or not. In other words, moderation is important. But I'm not that well enough versed on the Bible to know of other passages that could be used to justify temperance.
That being said, hearing Jack's drunk stories, maybe it's the best he avoids the sauce in the first place. Then again, it's not like Jack is ambulatory enough to be running into stop signs anymore.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
Jesus turned water into wine. That does not seem like the divine act of a teetotaller.
- Joined
- Jun 4, 2017
I don't know about Jack's megachurch of choice, but some of the southern baptists I knew as a kid insisted it actually meant grape juice. Typically those were the Reformed Baptists. The Free Will Baptists weren't quite so retarded, just bugshit crazy.
- Joined
- Dec 28, 2014
There is no purer form of blasphemy than literally denying the words of the Bible.
- Joined
- May 26, 2013
Welcome to the history of Christianity, 33 AD - Present.
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2023
There's an now quite elderly woman at my parish who grew up Catholic in a city in Texa. I remember a story she told last time I was up at the garden about all of her "teetotal" Southern Baptists neighbors who made it a point to show how "holy" they were by drinking iced tea when they went to restaurants in town that served alcohol.
Only to see these same people with bags chock full of beer cans and liquor bottles on the curb for trash pickup every week.
The "grape juice" thing is spectacularly retarded given the climate of 1st century Judea and the lack of any "table grapes" at the time. Unrefrigerated grape juice in a hot climate will inevitably ferment into wine via natural yeast, otherwise it will turn into some bacterial concoction that makes you shit your brains out.
Put it all on faze clan!
Sir, as your financial advisor, I must caution you against that action.
Put it all on faze clan or I'll do it online!
- Joined
- Jun 23, 2015
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2023
He'd post some kind of "troubled" cartoon emoji with his useless, withered stroke-arms crossed (which it is now physically impossible) and a frowny face.
Good Lord do those things look even more unbelievably gay than before. He sounded especially femmy in that John Wick video, maybe the stroke removed his inhibitions and he can become the man he always was but never knew.
It's OK to be gay, Jack.
- Joined
- Nov 11, 2014
Yeah. Powerlevel time. My parents raised me in a mainstream, protestant Christian denomination. Through a weird series of their compounding and terrible life choices, the family ended up in a really fucking weird hardline, neo-baptist sect during my last few years of high school. It was a constant stream of "everyone that hasn't even heard the word of god is definitely going to hell, so we gotta fucking do a jesus raid of the DPRK stat because God is a hateful and spiteful little bitch" sort of shit.
One of the things they said without irony is that Jesus Wine didn't contain any appreciable amount of alcohol. They take that belief seriously. They present crazy original hebrew translation conspiracy theories to justify that shit. It's something that actually happens. Every historical context for alcohol goes by the wayside so that they can absolutely guarantee that Jesus hates contemporary intoxicants.
Jack's in one of those sects I spent time in. Ironically, the alcohol he gave up would be much less destructive than what he's consuming in it's place.
I'm still Facebook friends with lots of people from that church. The people that were most into it then are now completely gone. A woman that was in her early twenties and a little eccentric then is now in her late fourties and borderline schizophrenic. Every day she posts a fifteen-part Facebook story that's every conspiracy theory from Clinton murders, to fluoride, to impending Ron Paul-esque financial collapse, to 5G covid vax conspiracies. I made a post a couple of years ago about how I took a job at an organization that is objectively trying to make the world a better place, and I got an insane nastygram from someone I haven't spoken with in 20 years about how I'm tool for the New World Order.
I'm really not remotely surprised that Jack and Tammy are as insane as they are or believe the insane shit they do. I've spent way too much time with these retards. Fortunately the rest of my family more or less got out of that shit.
- Joined
- Jan 19, 2023
"That damnable Jesus, he just keeps drinking all the Welch's concord grape juice in the house! What a drunkard!"
- Joined
- Sep 29, 2022
These moralfags look at the admonishments in the bible against drinking too much as "thou shalt not drink ever" which has led them to state "wine" back in the day was really just fruit juice. Wine was safer than water because water could make you sick.
The bible is full of things but it never says you can't drink. Instead it says you shouldn't get sloppy fall down drunk because then you could sin and God wouldn't like it. But if you can hold your drink and stop after a cup then there's no problem.
It's a lot of private VS public with these people. They act all holy when others of their parish are around but show their true faces when they're alone.
No word of a lie but when I was waiting tables during college one afternoon a couple comes in just as lunch is slowing down and I into my spiel and ask if they want anything from the bar to start. He looks a little offended and is about to say something when his wife says, "nobody here knows us. You can have a beer". And of course they left a prayer card instead of a tip.
We know Jagoff drinks in private because of his Jack Daniel's burger. Half that bottle was gone by the time he was done. Hammy probably only drinks on holidays or when she thinks she can get away with it.
That was the original purpose of Welch's grape juice. To be used as wine in religious ceremonies. Only when the churches didn't go for it did they turn to the commercial aspects of it.
- Joined
- Apr 8, 2020
In fact, there's Syriac poetry about how wine is awesome and how God has blessed wine as special compared to other drinks.
ܐܠܗܐ ܠܟ ܐܫܒܚ
ܘܬܘܕܝܬܐ ܠܟ ܐܕܒܚ
ܕܐܢܬܘ ܕܝܗܒ ܘܡܫܪܬܚ
ܛܒ̈ܬܐ ܠܐܝܢܐ ܕܡܨܡܚ
ܒܚܡܪܐ ܕܘܨ ܐܘ ܦܪܘܫܐ
ܕܡܙܝܓ ܡܢ ܪܘܚܐ ܕܩܘܕܫܐ
ܕܐܝܟܢ ܥܒܕܗ ܩܕܝܫܐ
ܕܢܫܚܠܦ ܠܒܢ̈ܝܢܫܐ
∴
I praise you, God,
and I offer thanks to you as a sacrifice,
for it is you who gives and makes abundant
good things for anyone who shines.
Exult in wine, o discerning one,
for it was mixed by the Holy Spirit
in such a way that [the Spirit] makes it holy
so that humans might be transformed.
ܘܬܘܕܝܬܐ ܠܟ ܐܕܒܚ
ܕܐܢܬܘ ܕܝܗܒ ܘܡܫܪܬܚ
ܛܒ̈ܬܐ ܠܐܝܢܐ ܕܡܨܡܚ
ܒܚܡܪܐ ܕܘܨ ܐܘ ܦܪܘܫܐ
ܕܡܙܝܓ ܡܢ ܪܘܚܐ ܕܩܘܕܫܐ
ܕܐܝܟܢ ܥܒܕܗ ܩܕܝܫܐ
ܕܢܫܚܠܦ ܠܒܢ̈ܝܢܫܐ
∴
I praise you, God,
and I offer thanks to you as a sacrifice,
for it is you who gives and makes abundant
good things for anyone who shines.
Exult in wine, o discerning one,
for it was mixed by the Holy Spirit
in such a way that [the Spirit] makes it holy
so that humans might be transformed.
- Joined
- Jan 16, 2016
The master (of fatness)
- Joined
- May 27, 2019
Sorry for late reply.
In Germany during both world wars they made marmelade out of fir, pine and or spruce needles. The recipe is in German, but I think Google translate shall do it.
By 1943 when the 8th Air Force bombed the living shit out of the logistic routes and everything started to crumble they even mixed sawdust into minced meat (1/2kg per 5 kg minced meat)
They also made coffee from acorns and a plethora of other stuff
In the nordic countries and
Syria still has great wineries and so do Algeria and Lebanon too. Bit pricey tho.
Stop lying, Jack, we all know that you did eat that god damn pencil!
BruceyBoy
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2020
They unfortunately do have a point here. Wine circa whenever BC was far closer to grape juice than what we would consider wine today. It was barely alcoholic and was commonly drank because other water sources were often not that sanitary