Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[DontEatThat_2.0]

Come on Jack, we all know what you really meant with that end message.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

The most surprising part about this is the unironic Jack fans in the comments

 

[AnOminous]

It's something that actually happens. Every historical context for alcohol goes by the wayside so that they can absolutely guarantee that Jesus hates contemporary intoxicants.

So apparently Noah got drunk and naked off grape juice. Right. Also if Jesus had brought non-alcoholic wine to a wedding party they'd have called him a pussy and told him to fuck right off with that shit.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

Listening to that poor box creak under the weight at 8:13 followed by the Family Guy-style fat man grunts was a real nice closer.

 

[Zaryiu2]

The deficits are insane, he looks and sounds god awful. This is wild!

ETA:
- Vision is blurry; "Looks like I can see you, but I can't"
- Started feeling pressure on the side of his head
- Jr. drove Jack to the hospital
- "Finally felt what a stroke felt like"
- "I'm now allowed to get checked out, go to the movies."
- There's actual movement with the candy-claw
- JACK ON THE GO IS COMING BACK (Yes, that's what everyone was waiting for... I'm sure Tammy is delighted)

THE DEATH WISH IS REAL

 

[Helvítis Túristi]

HE'S BACK AND OH MY GOD

Spoiler: Archive 480p

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For all of Jack's bitching about the staff and how awful they are, turns out they're nice people and Jack is just a karen.

 

[Monuklear]

The most surprising part about this is the unironic Jack fans in the comments

Jack's so fat his gravitation pull managed to attract an entire system of little retarded orbiters.

 

[Scotsman]

The most surprising part about this is the unironic Jack fans in the comments

Boomers and the mentally challenged.

 

[rubytintedchix]

Come on Jack, we all know what you really meant with that end message.
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glade to be eating

ETA: Today really is a gUd Friday.

 

[Hungry Homeless Handjob]

HE'S BACK AND OH MY GOD

Spoiler: Archive 480p

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Even though I've been following the rehab updates, I waited two whole months for a real JOTG video and, Jesus Christ. Jack's face is melting and it seems like he is actually having trouble breathing - the hiccupping and weird phlegmy cough sounds like he can't keep his lungs clear by himself.

"CLIPS FROM MY REHAB" - this is like the big title cards in The Shining where each cut shows the characters progressively becoming more insane and unwound. Jack sounds like he is literally dying, it seems like his lungs are full of fluid.

There's no way Jack will ever have real videos again, right? Not with all the belching and gurgling noises he makes every few seconds.

 

[Aunt Carol]

HE'S BACK AND OH MY GOD

Spoiler: Archive 480p

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3:43: "I'm an up-and-down guy" at night. Of course, your first thought would be prostate issues or high BG, but frequent urination at night can also be a symptom of sleep apnea; you're awake, might as well pee.

4:30: Listing what he won't eat on his tray, Jack says it's too high-carb... but also that "blueberry muffin is the last thing I ate before I stroked out." So Jack is eating low-carb, but also eating blueberry muffins by choice at home.

4:59: Hospital meal slip lists 56 grams of carbohydrate total, "diet: carb restricted." Biscuits and gravy as well as toast; gee, whichever patient ordered that breakfast made some weird decisions. I was confused to see the home fries, but looks like it says "Biscuits and Gravy (24 gm) 1 entree," whereas the toast says "1 slice." Betting the "entree" means biscuits, gravy and home fries to total 24gm carbohydrates, using "entree" in the sense of "meal combo." Size of the biscuits fits with that.

5:08: haha Jack has the yellow socks 'cause he's a Fall Risk. His only bands are ID and Fall Risk: someone update the OP that Jack officially has no known allergies.

Jack is talking about "wake up the movements that haven't been working for four years" on his right leg; looks like more than the famous claw was affected. Like everyone said, begging Jesus and doing nothing is not a good choice for PT. The old deficits are permanent now, but Jack could have gotten so much back if he'd taken things seriously when he first lost his right side.

7:05: This is really good movement. I know it's awful compared to a neurologically-intact person, but friends, this is someone with four strokes under his belt.

If Jack keeps up with his exercises he could be independently ambulatory with a walker in his home, even from the car to a restaurant table and back. Jack keeps getting winning lottery tickets! I'm sure he'll flush this one down the toilet too. So many people have just one stroke and all their will and effort never gets them back to this level of function.

8:28: GLADE TO BE HOME

 

[Jaded Optimist]

So apparently Noah got drunk and naked off grape juice

And Lot's daughter got him black out drunk on "grape juice" so they could rape him and have his grandkids/children.
Genesis 19:30-36

30 Lot and his two daughters left Zoar and settled in the mountains, for he was afraid to stay in Zoar. He and his two daughters lived in a cave. 31 One day the older daughter said to the younger, “Our father is old, and there is no man around here to give us children—as is the custom all over the earth. 32 Let’s get our father to drink wine and then sleep with him and preserve our family line through our father.”

33 That night they got their father to drink wine, and the older daughter went in and slept with him. He was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

34 The next day the older daughter said to the younger, “Last night I slept with my father. Let’s get him to drink wine again tonight, and you go in and sleep with him so we can preserve our family line through our father.” 35 So they got their father to drink wine that night also, and the younger daughter went in and slept with him. Again he was not aware of it when she lay down or when she got up.

36 So both of Lot’s daughters became pregnant by their father.

 

[irishAzoth]

Jack crying because he was able to grab a cone with his right hand is probably the saddest thing I have ever seen in my life. Not because of the action(in some odd way I'm proud of him) but because I know that these coming strings of CWJ and JotG vids are going to be the most pathetic sorry excuses of videos that are going to come out. Even after all that Jack is going to be back on the grind of getting his next food high in some Rib restaurant in Nashville.

 

[moocow]

HE'S BACK AND OH MY GOD

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lol what a pussy:

"Disabled by Owner"

Coward.

 

[Adamska]

HE'S BACK AND OH MY GOD

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I partially suspect that besides proving that I was right and he will continue to do Fat on the Go for the attention and tax write offs, this was done to knife his critics too.

Since you know that him showing he survived a stroke while they were sporking his cooking videos and avoiding revealing he's a cunt would be a good knife to some of them. It makes them look like they kicked someone while they were down.

Remember, Jack's a stroked out retard manbaby, but he can use his brain sometimes. It's mainly in the form of spite.

As for his attempt to complain about them giving him fruits and milk, note he did not cry about his desserts at all. Also reminder that diabetics are supposed to actually have a consistent carb dosage in their meals to keep sugar levels normal. So the stupid asshole actually was trying to kill himself by turning his nose up at those items whenever he bitched at them.

 

[Monuklear]

Honestly this new video makes me feel sad more than anything else.
I'm not whiteknighting the guy. Jack's 100% responsible for what's happened to him. The fact he kept eating like a complete slob despite surviving three (four?) previous strokes and a diabetes diagnosis is just spitting in God's face at this point.

But, that said, seeing him struggle to move his body or get emotional when he manages to grab with his right hand... That's just kind of fucked. As someone who's dealt with (multiple) family members who went through this sort of degeneration, I just can't help but feel sympathy. This is really horrible and I genuine hope for nothing less than Jack turning his life around... I mean abandoning his stupid YouTube hobby, getting on a proper healthy diet, losing all the excess weight and just generally salvaging what's left of his body. Maybe that way he may still get to enjoy something resembling a quality of life for the years to come.
Because if the 5th stroke doesn't kill him, it'll leave him ADL dependent for god knows how long, and Tammy & Junior will be the ones who'll have to take care of him (or pay a lot of money to have some stranger do it)



Oh.
Oh...
Nevermind then...

 

[Staffy]

So what sort of wasteland abominations do you get when you dunk jacks cooking into a vat of FEV?

His raw chickens would be likely as dreadful as deathclaws but more disgusting and his canned food of fail would be certified cans of bio bombs, if not it burns like plasma on contact like that weird legendary bloatfly's projectiles.

Oh, Jack, you fucking pussy, even with YT coddling to people like him who cry about dislikes, he disables it. But maybe the stroke caused him to notice/remember that he hasn't been removing dislikes on his recent videos.

 

[SaltyFanta]

Jack's commitment to Youtube is not surprising, but I kind of respect it, not every youtuber out there would vlog their post stroke recovery. Turning physical therapy into content, that's the action of a true and honest buisness-man. He'll be back and in son strangling condition before we know it.

 

[Stoicism Is For Losers]

Cant wait to see him start cooking again with half his body flopping around like a dead fish, I want to see what a brain damaged cooking with jack recipe looks like.

 

[Nothing To Say Here]

Jack's commitment to Youtube is not surprising, but I kind of respect it, not every youtuber out there would vlog their post stroke recovery. Turning physical therapy into content, that's the action of a true and honest buisness-man. He'll be back and in son strangling condition before we know it.

I respectfully disagree. His actions are not the actions of an honest business man, but those of a vain, narcissist, self centered entitled asshole. His brand is cooking and things related to that activity. His brand is not “Stroke rehab with Jack” or “Phelm clearing with a bed ridden fatass.”

It’s not commitment to anything we are witnessing but the knee jerk reaction of a self absorbed egomaniac that is compelled to produce something to remain in the spotlight, or garner sympathy and pats on the head from his unwitting retard fanbase. Jack can fuck right off.