🐷 Ethan Ralph's Twitter / Tweets - A collection of thoughts, insights and musings from the internet's favorite gunted hobbit

[Jew-ish]

When staring down the barrel of withdrawals, he will do whatever it takes. Better people than Ralph have thrown their entire life away for drugs.

Hell, Ralph has thrown a large part of his life away for nothing.

 

[Johnny Doxville]

When staring down the barrel of withdrawals, he will do whatever it takes. Better people than Ralph have thrown their entire life away for drugs.

Hell, Ralph has thrown a large part of his life away for nothing.

is/was gamergate nothing?

yes

 

[Wine em Dine em 69 em]

Ralph knows full well he’s a slave to the Xannies. He’s read it here often enough. He’s said it out loud on stream himself. He knows he’s too far gone to sweat it out on his own.
So Ralph are you just going to sit there till your chair finally collapses onto the bottle pile and wait for life to royally boof you up the ass something to happen, or are you going to man the fuck up and take control of your life? Fuck that ‘I can’t control myself Abluabluablu,’ CARPE DIEM bish and order your Mantsu to make the arrangements to Save The Falling King.
Punto. Bishhh.
Or not, go ahead and shit yourself and die, but I really wanted to see you at least get tazed by two cops at once before you biff it.

 

[Ghost of Guntmas Past]

Ralph knows full well he’s a slave to the Xannies. He’s read it here often enough. He’s said it out loud on stream himself. He knows he’s too far gone to sweat it out on his own.
So Ralph are you just going to sit there till your chair finally collapses onto the bottle pile and wait for life to royally boof you up the ass something to happen, or are you going to man the fuck up and take control of your life? Fuck that ‘I can’t control myself Abluabluablu,’ CARPE DIEM bish and order your Mantsu to make the arrangements to Save The Falling King.
Punto. Bishhh.
Or not, go ahead and shit yourself and die, but I really wanted to see you at least get tazed by two cops at once before you biff it.

enough with the troll's remorse routine

 

[Fannyscum]

Ralph had a big show planned today with everyone's favourite, "Wendall!"

Tweet | Archive

His waterbrained paypigs were excited:


But Ralph didn't last 5 minutes before trying to bring up drama that made the guest audibly uncomfortable. Ralph refused to let it go so Wendall hung up. Ralph took it as well as you'd expect:

Tweet | Archive


Tweet | Archive


Tweet | Archive

 

[LiquidChrisRespecter]

You need to see the clip to believe it. He gets this Wendell character on, all excited to announce he'll definitely be attending the next Kingpin event, and then within seconds of being on the call manages to torpedo it so badly the guy just fucks off.

Ralph tried to rehash some old spat that was resolved in private and Wendell said "I don't appreciate your booker baiting and switching, I'll see you in chat".

Big Tech calls in shortly afterwards to say Wendell's a bitch for mogging Ralph and hanging up on him but Ralph wouldn't hear it and tearfully declared that it's NOT TRUUUU that Wendell would ever big dawg him. He unironically says he's going to be "stoic" about the encounter even though he sounds like he's on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

Ralph flip flops between blaming his "booker" Esoshaggy and Big Tech for the fallout.

After going through old footage of his in-progress stream to remind him of the conversation with Wendell that occured about 30 minutes earlier, he declares that Wendell is a nigger who should return to the Killstream promptly otherwise he will deal with him not online. He follows this up by proclaiming he has nothing but love for Wendell though.

 

[AnOminous]

I really really want to know what these charges are that he beat. I can't think of any charges he actually beat, plenty where he got a slap on the wrist... Sure, but has he actually beat any of his charges entirely?

Lmao this retard hasn't won shit, he's gone to jail, pled nolo, just lost outright, he is a complete LOSER.

 

[Pelican Bones]

Lmao this retard hasn't won shit, he's gone to jail, pled nolo, just lost outright, he is a complete LOSER.

Tbf any trial that doesn't end with the jury being the firing squad that executes you in the courtroom is a yuge win. Perry Fucking Mason.

 

[NicoFountaine]

Can't insert the image for some reason but I'm referring to Ralph's Tweet:

"They better hope I never have nothing to lose"
Tweet | Archive


Let's speculate, what would the Ralphamale do if he ever has nothing to lose?

I expect him going full hobo mode hollering outside of Josh's mom house until she tosses him a quarter for him to buy some moonshine.

 

[Rage Pig]

Ethan is having a huge meltdown, even had a Twitter space about Wendell. He has a degree in political science! On mobile and at work, no archive.

 

[Fannyscum]

It's past midnight and Ralph just streamed for over 10 hours but he's still too angry for his angry nap, so has been venting on Twitter instead:

Tweet | Archive

Ralph does not have a degree in political science but does have the student loan debt for a pol-sci degree, because he's a genius:

Tweet | Archive

Dick stops by to fluff Ralph's pillows a little, as if he actually listens to Ralph's dogshit show:

Tweet | Archive

Ralph still completely tilted about getting bigleagued by Wendall, he's now unironically using CURSE YE HA ME HA on his enemies:

Tweet | Archive

Ralph is a professional host... of AIIIIIIIIDS:

Tweet | Archive

After doing his narc injury piggy tantrum, suck my dick, you're a faggot, I hope you die, etc., he still ends up begging Wendall to come back on his failing show:

Tweet | Archive

I have no idea who these homos are but if either of them are grovelling to Ralph it's fair to assume they are most vile and pathetic of guntermenschen:

Tweet | Archive

It's almost as if Ralph realises he fucked up, needlessly creating a schism in the Cozyverse, but that would require self-awareness:

Tweet | Archive
EDIT: The Twitter space has been deleted Anyone manage to get a copy?

 

[Zaryiu2]

How to be a loving husband and father

Or to not act like a subhuman

 

[FiveStarAce]

Ralph, don't listen to the detractors. There is absolutely NO WAY to catch any Virus from mouth fucking hookers, so treat yourself like the King you are! I checked the statistics and literally ZERO PERCENT of mexican street workers have Aids. Go get'em Tiger, don't let pantsu big league you into Monogamy!!!

 

[MeltyTW]

Ralph still completely tilted about getting bigleagued by Wendall, he's now unironically using CURSE YE HA ME HA on his enemies:

the trans-formation is complete

Can't insert the image for some reason but I'm referring to Ralph's Tweet:

"They better hope I never have nothing to lose"
Tweet | Archive


Let's speculate, what would the Ralphamale do if he ever has nothing to lose?

I expect him going full hobo mode hollering outside of Josh's mom house until she tosses him a quarter for him to buy some moonshine.

I expect he'd still cower like a bitch since he has fuck all now, he'd thank whoever or whatever took whatever is left from him like a bitch

 

[Anonanon]

I absolutely love how Dick Masterson is ready to gunt guard the moment piggies feelings get hurt by literally anything, yet he won't do a side project with Ralph or get him on the dick show as a regular guest. Probably because he knows the RALPHAmale would curse his name within a week.

 

[Extra Crunchy]

Tweet | Archive

Ralphamale, pictured.

 

[AnOminous]

Ralph does not have a degree in political science but does have the student loan debt for a pol-sci degree, because he's a genius:

Imagine lying about something as pathetic as a poli sci degree. That's like repeating high school. And then not even having it. Imagine being a midget on as many levels as Ralph. He's literally a physical midget, barely over five feet. A normal woman towers over him. And he's a mental midget as well, a profoundly stupid tiny little man. He has a short little dick. He's short on child support.

He's too poor to even live in America or a real country at all.

He is a tiny little midget on every level it's possible to be a tiny, small man. No wonder he's so angry all the time. It must suck to be such a minuscule midgety-ass little motherfucker in mind, body, dick, and character.

 

[AncientPhosphur]

Imagine lying about something as pathetic as a poli sci degree. That's like repeating high school. And then not even having it. Imagine being a midget on as many levels as Ralph. He's literally a physical midget, barely over five feet. A normal woman towers over him. And he's a mental midget as well, a profoundly stupid tiny little man. He has a short little dick. He's short on child support.

He's too poor to even live in America or a real country at all.

He is a tiny little midget on every level it's possible to be a tiny, small man. No wonder he's so angry all the time. It must suck to be such a minuscule midgety-ass little motherfucker in mind, body, dick, and character.

I CURSE YEEEWWWWWWW ALOG MAY YOU BE SLIGHTLY INCONVENIENCED IN LIFE SO THAT I HAVE VICTORY

 

[Telemeter]

Ralph, don't listen to the detractors. There is absolutely NO WAY to catch any Virus from mouth fucking hookers, so treat yourself like the King you are! I checked the statistics and literally ZERO PERCENT of mexican street workers have Aids. Go get'em Tiger, don't let pantsu big league you into Monogamy!!!

Ralph really should go live like a King in South Africa, he got a personal invitation to go there by a true South African citizen, after all.

Do you know how many nigger bitches there are in Africa just waiting for a Ralphamale to put them in their place for a dollar? I don't know why Ralph is being such a pussy and denying himself wigger paradise.

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

I CURSE YEEEWWWWWWW ALOG MAY YOU BE SLIGHTLY INCONVENIENCED IN LIFE SO THAT I HAVE VICTORY

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I came across this passage reading last night and realized Ralphamales existed two hundred years ago.

‘A reptile marking his path with slime wherever he goes, and breathing mildew at everything fresh and fragrant, a midnight ghoul, preying on rottenness and repulsive filth; a creature, hated by his nearest intimates, and bearing the consciousness thereof upon his distorted features, and upon his despicable soul; one whom good men avoid as a blot to his nature - whom all despise, and whom no one blesses.’

Also, I will note the man who wrote this is world famous, his words celebrated and read long after his death. The man he’s staking stout literary angry shit all over? Nobody remembers. He is only remembered thanks to Whitman despising him so much. I think this will be Ralph’s only path to anyone knowing who the fuck he is in ten years. It will only be thanks to the KF who wrote many words about his astonishing foulness.