Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[Falcon Sebben]

You gigantic fat pig, we can't wait to see the itemized bill for those meals because we know exactly how much you bitched and moaned until they brought you double, triple, quadruple servings to sate that void in your ulcerated belly and in your fucking soul.

Yeah but he demanded that because he was getting "fake" eggs... like the ones he dehydrated. And then would cry like a baby if he didn't get his bacon and sausage as well. They probably said it would be extra but he just tantrumed until they gave in.

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So that's why he was radio silent for so long. He "got sick" during the movie.

Probably ate too much popcorn with artificial butter flavored grease on it which is what made him sick. You know, something a diabetic with four strokes shouldn't be eating.

> Says he only saw the first half of the movie
> Immediately complains about Mario not rescuing the princess, even though that happens in the second half
> Tells us his kids saw the second half

You really couldn't just ask Jack what happened? You knew from the get-go you were gonna review it, and didn't even bother to find out what the fuck happened in the other half of the film? Christ.

He's angy about the Princess being empowered. That's his big gripe about it but then says there's no political stuff in it.

Make up your mind fatty.

 

[The Southwest Strangla]

"If you saw any warning signs," what's a warning sign, Jack?

He was searching for anything “woke”.

 

[Nothing To Say Here]

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So that's why he was radio silent for so long. He "got sick" during the movie.

Is it me or is his breathing more labored than usual, especially toward the end of the video? I hope by getting sick, he meant the triple greaseball burger he ate before the show made him shit his adult diaper and Tammy had to take him home to hose him off.

 

[Syrup]

Is it me or is his breathing more labored than usual, especially toward the end of the video?

he's dying and will never regain a modicum of the health and independance he had before his latest stroke.

 

[Point Emerging]

Long Hollow Church lets Jack have a 2nd communion wafer, Cornerstone only ever let him have one.

Long and hollow

Is it me or is his breathing more labored than usual, especially toward the end of the video? I hope by getting sick, he meant the triple greaseball burger he ate before the show made him shit his adult diaper and Tammy had to take him home to hose him off.

The Firehouse Smokin' Triple Stack has come to roost, boys.

 

[Tiresome]

View attachment 5070876
So that's why he was radio silent for so long. He "got sick" during the movie.

"Um, the Princess was kind of empowered, if I rembmember correctly, the princess got captured and then you had to rescue the princess..."

Totally correct, Jack, you had to rescue the princess in Super Mario Bros 1. The princess wasn't given woke emancipated action woman status until...1988. Great job.

I expect a sudden ER visit followed the first half of the flick and Jack is suffering some ongoing problems which is why he looks like shit right now. This stupid fucker is fighting his stupid culture war until his very last breath. Well done, lard soldier.

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

View attachment 5070876
So that's why he was radio silent for so long. He "got sick" during the movie.

"Sick" during the movie. Yep, I'm doubling down on my "Return to normal eating has fucked him up" theory. I wouldn't be surprised to hear at all that he's already blown a weakly healed vein and that he's been living a slow brain bleed. I dunno how much truth there is to my hearing that you can go weeks before even really noticing symptoms, and for Jack, he would probably dismiss the initial ones as normal.

 

[EatBeforeYouEat]

I wonder if Jack misses the nursing home. I mean he has to. His situation is terrible. He can get up but can't walk and I'm assuming him getting up is not the easiest thing in the world so when Tammy is not home he must just occupy a small portion of the house while wearing a diaper. I wonder if Tammy is gonna have to change up her entire job schedule to acomodate him.

It's unbelievable that he is willing to continue to LARP as a fast food/chain restaurant critic after such a massive stroke. You have to give it to Jack for his continued optimism in the face of such a huge health crisis although it's largely because his stupidity prevents him from seeing the gravity of the situation . I think normal people in his situation would be suffering from crippling depression at the loss of independence they are facing.


Also finally, just my suspicion, with him mentioning he only saw half the movie before getting "sick" i think it is plausible that he choked on popcorn or something else. Maybe thats why he just sounds messed up.

 

[Doctor of Autism]

I wonder if Jack misses the nursing home. I mean he has to

Nah he doesn't, they don't give him his KETO meals of 20 cups of cheese.

 

[RodgerDodger]

Is it me or is his breathing more labored than usual,

I think Jack may be not be in the best of health. His prognosis going forward is shit. And he has continued to double down on being Jack. It's just a question of what hits first? The Widowmaker in his chest or Fifth Impact in his head. Of course his current state makes it slightly less likely that he will die (directly) from his own cooking.

But we may want to make the Jack Death Pool more of a short term thing.

 

[Kermit Jizz]

I think Jack may be not be in the best of health.

You sir, are far too generous with your wording.

 

[desudesu]

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So that's why he was radio silent for so long. He "got sick" during the movie.

Damn, he looks like absolute shit in this video and is slurring so much. I don't even get what he's rambling about in this video. Also, it seems like his beluga hump on his head is much more prominent in here.

He's not long for this world. Better get your MEAT MOUNTIN' worth of fast food before you leave, Jack!

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Damn, he looks like absolute shit in this video and is slurring so much. I don't even get what he's rambling about in this video. Also, it seems like his beluga hump on his head is much more prominent in here.

He's not long for this world. Better get your MEAT MOUNTIN' worth of fast food before you leave, Jack!

He's mushbraining again. The old Jagoff is gone and we're going to need to see this husk of a Scalfatty slurring and mushbraining his way to an early grave.

It's all going to be downhill from here.

 

[Tiresome]

I honestly think Jack believes he's not going to die. He somehow has the most utterly solid delusion that no matter what happens to his health, it will not kill him. I can't see literally any other explanation for why he's going on about getting revenge on NHC Place Sumner, critiquing fast food, whining about bill discrepancies and scrutinizing brand-new movies for politics that trigger him. It's breathtaking, if virtually any of us were in his place, we'd be spending every moment with our families, maybe trying to restore old bridges we burned, looking up old friends, putting our affairs in order and generally being vastly more cognizant and thoughtful that we do not have much time left on this planet.

Our Jack is doing none of that. Filling the belly is all that matters, everything else is an aggravation.

 

[AnOminous]

So that's why he was radio silent for so long. He "got sick" during the movie.

Lmao he has no idea why people were so eager to see his "review."

Dude they were just wanting to see how stroked out you are now.

 

[Syrup]

I honestly think Jack believes he's not going to die.

It's whatever random thing he's blamed for his strokes and Mi so he doesn't need to give up his addiction to food or facing that he's destroyed his body.

 

[AnOminous]

I dunno how much truth there is to my hearing that you can go weeks before even really noticing symptoms, and for Jack, he would probably dismiss the initial ones as normal.

But he totally laid off the stevia, the real cause of his incessant strokes! Why could this happen? Jesus needs to help him!

 

[Syrup]

But he totally laid off the stevia, the real cause of his incessant strokes! Why could this happen? Jesus needs to help him!

I forgot he blamed Stevia lol.

 

[desudesu]

I forgot he blamed Stevia lol.

Stevia and caffeine to be specific! He also blamed his numerous kidney stone attacks on the Tennessean municipal water supply.

 

[biggacracka]

Tennessean municipal water supply.

Is that what he calls bourbon?