The Opie of Nine Anthonies
Fratres et Sorores,
Behold the Eternal Opester! Sunsets, beaches, and cakestomping, world without end.
Beware the Nine Anthonies - they will lull you in with their parody siren songs and impressions that will make you swear it's the real person. Know them well and take great care!
1 - Anthony who showers with his father
2 - Anthony tempted by Tree Fort Richard
3 - Anthony the affable HVAC guy in a blackface band
4 - Anthony who thought "Gonna electric shock OJ" would fit over the chorus of "Sittin' on the Dock of the Bay"
5 - Anthony the Happy to Be Here guy
6 - Anthony the I Don't Want to Be Here Anymore guy
7 - Anthony in exile who buys breast implants for boys
8 - Anthony who dates his friend's young daughter then drunkenly bites her hand like an animal
9 - Anthony getting yelled at by his girlfriend for streaming CoD too late
The path might seem clear, but the allure of the Anthonies, of being simultaneously Italian, Tunisian, and Long Island trash and live a wasted life may lead you astray. But look to the One Opie, unchanging, eternally aligned with Natural Law, Lord of Sunsets, befriender of Cubans. The path is there for those brave enough to take it.
WoW/WoW
WoW
Frater Bobo Invictus