- Joined
- May 26, 2013
Jack's making any statement that they're financially secure is probably to be taken at the same face value as his assertion that his sauces are the best you'll ever taste.
Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental
- Thread starter Gentlebastard
- Start date
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🔧 Actively working on site again.
- Joined
- May 11, 2022
He just spent 2 months in a hospital and then a nursing home. He's got a fuckton of bills now, which is why he's bitching about being "overcharged" for food at the nursing home.
- Joined
- Aug 9, 2019
Lazy Man's Blueberry Muffins
(04/21/2023)
Original:
(04/21/2023)
Original:
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That Damned Tiger
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2018
The way he moved his right arm at the beginning is unsettling. And I'm guessing this is a video before the last stroke.
It was instinctively looking for the bag of cheese that Jack keeps nearby when he usually cooks.
- Joined
- May 26, 2013
And here we have our pet lolchef, returning triumphantly, and what super healthy KETOOOOOO recipe does he have for us today? Blueberry muffins! Let's cast our mind back...oh, two weeks ago, when our boy Jack was utterly bitching and whining that the nursing home made the breathtakingly insulting decision to serve him, a poor diabetic....MUFFINS.
But these are LAZY MAN"S muffins. And boy they couldn't look simpler. So what natural, keto-friendly, pro-diabetic ingredients are on the soon-to-be-abandoned kitchen island today? Lemon zest! And blueberries! Great start! And rounding it off....self-rising flour, real wheat flour. And vanilla ice cream. Well, batting .500 isn't bad, is it? Provided you have two working arms. Sure looks lazy to me, that's only four ingredients! Of course, the most common recipe only requires....three.
So clearly Jack saw one of those lousy "ice cream bread" recipes and decided to reframe it as something superficially healthier, because you eat muffins for BREAKFAST, the most important meal of the day! Of course he pretends he "thought it up" himself. Ice cream is like cream! And flour, brilliant! Liar. Jack is going to "eyeball" the ingredient ratios, which was undoubtedly easier before the asshole ate himself legally blind, and then mush it together with his non-gimped arm. Tammy is clearly not willing to act as his stir-slave this episode. Smushing the half-mixed, totally-screwed up batter into the pan, a quick bake and...
"These came out amaaaaaazing!" in Jack's most heterosexual voice, as he preens and shows off a pan of muffins that seem to have rose about 5%, and didn't even come near to overtopping the cups and produce that wonderful muffin top everyone loves, except on Italian idiots. Jack briefly complains about a busted blueberry, and then takes a bite and instantly that dead eye starts rolling like a watermelon down Mt. Everest. Jack has never looked as retarded before now, it's possible the nerves that allowed Angy Flat Face have overridden every other expression. Jack's closing narration is more halting and mushmouthed than we've ever before witnessed, as he daintily covers his crumb-covered lips and gleefully tells us how you can double the recipe, which he'll undoubtedly do after stuffing the other five muffins down his maw.
Rating: 4 out of 5 comorbidities.
biggacracka
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 14, 2022
I have a question. Is this video pre last-stroke?
Because if so, these are the muffins that gave him his stroke. Remember in a recent video about his first meal in the nursing home how 1. he "couldn't" eat the blueberry muffin and 2. it what "ironically" what he was eating when he got his stroke?
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2023
Jack must have forgotten about muh beetus. I also love how he touts ice cream having cream, milk, sugar, and eggs. But what did Mushbrain purchase? Kroger Deluxe Vividly Vanilla Ice Cream. Let’s look at the ingredients shall we?
Hmmm lots of artificial or chemically produced ingredients and no eggs! Well done fatty you made muffins without eggs! He could have at least picked a high quality ice cream with real ingredients, but we all know those ingredients are secondary in Jack‘s world to the pretty colors on the lid. True Lazy man’s muffin recipe, grab real muffins from the bakery.
Having trouble quoting @biggacracka because of the DDOS attacks, but yes this is pre stroke and your memory is correct that Jagoff said he was eating a muffin when he stroked. I think you nailed it.
- Joined
- Jul 10, 2020
Omg you guys are right. These are the stroke muffins.
Between this and the news of Fat Rick starting his payment plan to Qausi, my sides are terminally obliterated.
FatJacksFatAssTongue
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Apr 13, 2021
Eh, objectively I really don't have anything bad to say about this one. I will point out however that even a broken clock is right exactly twice a day.
BUT: this thing was filmed months ago for sure. He's stroked out to be sure, but not morbidly so like he is today, and will be, every day going forward. Oops! Time for another diaper change ... damn. Three and a half hours till Tranny's back here to meet with the realtor, my ass and an entire roll of Charmin®
BUT: this thing was filmed months ago for sure. He's stroked out to be sure, but not morbidly so like he is today, and will be, every day going forward. Oops! Time for another diaper change ... damn. Three and a half hours till Tranny's back here to meet with the realtor, my ass and an entire roll of Charmin®
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- Joined
- May 26, 2013
This is a fantastic bit of sleuthing, I had forgotten all about that. So not only were these the muffins Jack was eating when he suffered his latest event, they were ice cream muffins. My god, you can't make it up with this fat lard.
- Joined
- May 6, 2022
So is the seemingly paralyzed right hand in the muffins video some warning sign of the stroke he suffered?
don’t be ridiculous, think of the smell. you haven’t thought of the smell, you bitch!
Their realtor is going to shit when she reads that comment.
Lazyman blueberry
Another pre-hospital video, I wonder how many videos Jack has discarded in the past, considering the fucking vault these crawled out of.
More food Jack shouldn't have been eating!
Not gud!
Another clearly stolen recipe, lemon zest is a white girl recipe guarantee. This one is for the 'gram.
- Joined
- Aug 4, 2022
You have triggered me. This is the one that did it for me. This tubby sack of shit Karening out at what most people would call a hearty and serviceable sandwich. It’s an entire fucking foot long toasted baguette with some half-decent looking filling.
Immediately he goes into his drooling primal scan assessment and lifts the bonnet of the samwish with his gross soft-looking hands, and finds the filling to be paltry, with barely any MEEnT. You can still see parts of the bread! “The chicken isn’t even covering it!”, he says, as if a sandwich by definition is a literal compacted and impenetrable loaf of whatever topping you choose surrounded by bread.
Look at this fucking compensation face:
You can tell that he is legitimately traumatised at the insulting portion he has been served, and needs eternal proof of this affront to the wendigo.
If you’re gonna be a fat stroked out fuck at least have the self awareness to at least try to conduct yourself in a dignified manner. Yes; you are a fat fuck, that much is obvious, but you don’t have to act like one all the time. Nobody likes a greedy, whiney, confrontational, self-righteous, indignant, privileged cockroach.
The worst thing is that the dullards he is with in this video gravitate toward the same behaviour. It says something about the quality of his company that they are so braindead and uncharismatic that they can be cycloned into participating in a bitchfest about perfectly fine sandwiches by this fat boring taupe coloured pig leech, of all people.
Time for me to leave the internet for a few hours.
I honestly think it was the fact that the sandwich was smashed that set him off. He likes a pillow for his meat, and that baggot was PRESSED.
Preciate it youtube
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Dec 6, 2021
I know he's poring over his medical bills lately, but is there a chance he had to go to the ER halfway through the Super Mario movie? The "getting sick" event? I feel like he wouldn't describe the January visit as five hours long, all things considered.
Marisa
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2023
that was horrifying to watch, i can't imagine having a stroke on camera and still thinking it was good to upload. i assume TIAs are so common for him he didn't think anything of the symptoms until they were really serious.
Watching Jack fall over would be nice. We'd never see it though.
- Joined
- Mar 4, 2023
I think you’re on to something here. If you’re bleeding from your eyeballs when they triage you‘re bumped to the front. If you shit yourself because of too much butter flavor on your popcorn, they‘re going to make you sit in it for a while, while dealing with real patients.
I'd love to see the tweet where Jack has to admit he wallowed in his own crapulence. (He never would, much like the falling) But it would be satisfying.