Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

[Banks Davenport]

amazing feature, I never expected The Fugutive arc before death/burnout

"Our fugitive is overweight, methed-out and covered in goth chick tattoos. I want checkpoints from here to Philadelphia! Check every outhouse, hen house, and Dickhouse! Now go find him."

 

[Horus]

As of right now, it's 46 degrees farenheit in Pocopson township, and the temperature is expected to dip to about 39. If he starts sweating profusely for some reason (coming off a meth binge for example), he can very easily fall victim to hypothermia unless he knows how to handle himself in the woods....something tells me he does not.

 

[LinkinParkxNaruto[AMV]]

but the only decent arc for this is for Bam to actually be arrested and put in a lockdown mental ward or rehab.

That will only kick the bucket down the road unfortunately. Hopeless cases are better off overdosing before doing even more damage

 

[Maverick Vile]

It's amazing that literally all his friends growing up as far as I'm aware, are all living healthy adult lives while this faggot since thinks it's 2005.

He was the only guy in the crew who wasn't doing a bit.

 

[Meat Target]

I'm sure this has been asked before, but could Ape and Phil somehow gain Power of Attorney over his finances so that he can't just have a get-out-of-trouble-free card? Assuming they even have the will to, of course.

 

[Wesker]

I'm sure this has been asked before, but could Ape and Phil somehow gain Power of Attorney over his finances so that he can't just have a get-out-of-trouble-free card? Assuming they even have the will to, of course.

I swear it was stated in the thread that Phil controls all his finances although maybe that's not true. I don't agree with Conservatorships, but in Bams case he requires it.

 

[Involuntary Celebrity]

As of right now, it's 46 degrees farenheit in Pocopson township, and the temperature is expected to dip to about 39. If he starts sweating profusely for some reason (coming off a meth binge for example), he can very easily fall victim to hypothermia unless he knows how to handle himself in the woods....something tells me he does not.

let's hope he packed enough meth to have a sweet log cabin up already

 

[MirnaMinkoff]

As of right now, it's 46 degrees farenheit in Pocopson township, and the temperature is expected to dip to about 39. If he starts sweating profusely for some reason (coming off a meth binge for example), he can very easily fall victim to hypothermia unless he knows how to handle himself in the woods....something tells me he does not.

He probably didn’t spend thirty minutes in the woods. He took off and got picked up by his tweaker GF or some local drug buddy. He’s probably sitting in some tweakers apartment smoking meth and will probably try to go back to his house in a few days once he thinks the heat has died down…or get arrested at a gas station or passed out in a bar near Keninsgton. I guess ending up in the hospital thanks to a meth induced seizure is also in the cards.

 

[Wesker]

As of right now, it's 46 degrees farenheit in Pocopson township, and the temperature is expected to dip to about 39. If he starts sweating profusely for some reason (coming off a meth binge for example), he can very easily fall victim to hypothermia unless he knows how to handle himself in the woods....something tells me he does not.

Being realistic, I really doubt he's in the woods right now. He probably got to some road and phoned an uber back to Philly.

 

[Hogar Grupal]

As of right now, it's 46 degrees farenheit in Pocopson township, and the temperature is expected to dip to about 39. If he starts sweating profusely for some reason (coming off a meth binge for example), he can very easily fall victim to hypothermia unless he knows how to handle himself in the woods....something tells me he does not.

So, expect breaking news by tomorrow?

 

[Horus]

He probably didn’t spend thirty minutes in the woods. He took off and got picked up by his tweaker GF or some local drug buddy. He’s probably sitting in some tweakers apartment smoking meth and will probably try to go back to his house in a few days once he thinks the heat has died down…or get arrested at a gas station or passed out in a bar near Keninsgton. I guess ending up in the hospital thanks to a meth induced seizure is also in the cards.

You are probably right, but a man can dream!

So, expect breaking news by tomorrow?

A few others pointed out that he is likely hiding out in some drug den, and they are probably right. I can pretend and joke he is out there freezing though.

 

[BikeLock]

I'm impressed his little mother put up all that shit and did hand woodworking to decorate it, like wtf.

April is a fuckin' (enabling) saint, Bam really doesn't deserve her.

 

[Russell Coight]

If he winds up dead they should mix his ashes with Ryan Dunn's and have Rip Taylor's ghost shoot them out of a cannon.

 

[SDK]

I swear it was stated in the thread that Phil controls all his finances although maybe that's not true. I don't agree with Conservatorships, but in Bams case he requires it.

Phil is an accountant and he handles Bams finances so mainly collecting residuals and other royalties and files his returns. Probably helped him set up that Estonian LLC.

 

[Hack for crack]

There is no solution to addiction. A person hitting rock bottom is sometimes possible to help. Bam still gets jackass residuals iirc so he can never truly bottom out.

Let's just hope he chokes on his vomit before spree killing everyone at a steveO event

 

[BradCarter]

If someone told me 10 years ago that the guys eating shit and breaking bones to become famous would end up on a meth fueled run from the cops, I'd say "yea that sounds about right".

 

[Wesker]

There is no solution to addiction. A person hitting rock bottom is sometimes possible to help. Bam still gets jackass residuals iirc so he can never truly bottom out.

Let's just hope he chokes on his vomit before spree killing everyone at a steveO event

Him dropping dead sooner rather than later would be the best thing for his frighteningly ugly FAS son. Not that his mother is a fucking prize.

 

[Blacklight]

Hell I live an hour or so away from there. I should make the trip, and see if I can't find him in the woods. Then again when the evil spirit living in Chris moved to Ralph when he got arrested, I don't want to invite the spirit inside of Bam to move into me.

 

[irishAzoth]

If Bam gets in a shootout with the cops he's a runner for lolcow of the year

 

[KneeLengthCock]

New Jersey's full. Ask West Virginia, he'd fit right in.

Fuck off, we'll shoot him. He belongs in Camden and you know it.

If Bam gets in a shootout with the cops he's a runner for lolcow of the year

Only if he accidentally blows his own cock off.

Which is a possibility with him.