Careercow Brandon "Bam" Margera - From Jackass to Lolcow

[SaidNoOneEver]

If Bam gets in a shootout with the cops he's a runner for lolcow of the year

Are professionals eligible? Doesn't seem fair.

 

[Meiwaku]

I havent seen a pic of this man since the mid 2010s and WOOF that's a hard 40. Don't do drugs kids.

 

[Fornicario]

Are professionals eligible? Doesn't seem fair.

I'd nominate him just for his sheer commitment to fucking himself over. He's been swirling the bowl for years, but he's really dug deep this last month. Don't deny his antics are on the level as last year's runner ups, at least. Let's at least give him until he tires of playing Junkie of the Urban Jungle before we write him off. He just might take a bullet, and you have to admit no lolcow has done that before.

 

[Xenomorph]

Meanwhile, the chad Dicamillo...
View attachment 5084382

Who want to taste my General Tso
You wanna taste my General Tso I give it to you now

 

[Professor Iris]

...why do I get the feeling that a confrontation between Bam Margera and the cops will wind up exactly like this?

 

[Uh Oh Stinky]

...why do I get the feeling that a confrontation between Bam Margera and the cops will wind up exactly like this?

Agreed. If there's a police confrontation at all, he's not going out like some gunslinging badass. He'll be a blubbering fool wearing a bathrobe like a cape. Let's hope it gets caught on camera.

 

[Kulee Baba]

Jess is just rambling his milquetoast Democratic views on Twitter. Confirmed that the Police haven't found Bam yet.

EDIT: Morning tweet from Jess.

Suggests the most likely scenario that Bam found some scummy friends to help stay low. I do wonder how long Bam can stay low.

 

[Would]

Didn't Bams drink & drungs problems start when he began to hang out with HiM.

IDK, is Ville Valo an obese bum currently on the run chillin' in the Finnish woods?

 

[Fishmalk Observer]

Now Im curious where the other Jackass guys are now?

I know Rake Yohn is a chemist and Wee Man had a restaurant in Long Beach, Dico clearly living a good life too.

 

[PixarsTedKennedy]

Didn't Bams drink & drungs problems start when he began to hang out with HiM. Guess he's trying to shift the blame for his own weakness.

Pretty much. That's the sad part. If you look back at old footage Bam is pretty sheltered, and other than doing stupid shit on camera, seemed like a good kid.

 

[Meat Target]

Now Im curious where the other Jackass guys are now?

Steve-O got clean, became an animal rights activist, and is on podcasts regularly.

Knoxville has brain damage, had an eye pop out of its socket, and split his dick, but seems to be doing relatively well for himself.

The one I never liked was Chris Pontius. The Party Boy bit and him drinking horse jizz were just disgusting.

The more "innocent" stunts were my favorites, like the rocket skates, the High Five, golf course airhorn, the doorbell airbag, or the Electric Avenue.

 

[Constellationzero]

How many dicks you gotta suck to get fucking lockjaw?

Would Bam suck dick for cocks though? Asking the real questions.

 

[CarlosDanger]

...why do I get the feeling that a confrontation between Bam Margera and the cops will wind up exactly like this?

I think it will be more like this....

 

[Fishmalk Observer]

The one I never liked was Chris Pontius. The Party Boy bit and him drinking horse jizz were just disgusting.

Remember that bit were a snake bit his dick ? Probably gave the poor thing herpes.

 

[TheGuntinator]

am trying to not get too optimistic, but considering he was once beat down by a woman in her 60’s for calling her a nigger, the latter seems like a solid possibility

To be fair any fight you've started with a sixty year old is automatically a loss. Even if you beat them up you're still the pathetic loser for picking on the elderly.

Of course, he'd been there before with the riot control bean bag. And you could see the "what the fuck am I doing?" look on his face before it.

Knoxville also nearly got killed on at least one occasion, like the golf cart demolition derby.

Or that giant rocket which explodes out of the side like 3 feet from where he was holding on.

 

[Foxymophandlemama]

Didn't Bams drink & drungs problems start when he began to hang out with HiM. Guess he's trying to shift the blame for his own weakness.

I don't know really, but Ville seems to be doing very well for himself. His past troubles with alcohol and drugs were very much talked about and are in the past but I haven't really read any interview from his current tour to confirm if he has talked about any struggles. Some new songs are good tho, if you are into that genre.
IIRC April put blame on the singer for Bam self esteem issues too, specially regarding weight.
But in the end the one who should change and seek a better path is Bam. Like said before here, many people around him from back in the day are doing fine, with damages but fine. They may have introduced him to the party animal life style but most people should grown out of that and any really positive e influence that could be helping him has been cut out of his life by himself.
Anyway, I look forward for how it is going to end, but I know that the end will go out not with a BAMG but with a whimper.

 

[Ser Prize]

If Bam stumbles into a time warp do you think he inspired bigfoot?

 

[ZipDisk]

seemed like a good kid.

One of the best parts of Jackass was when they would fuck with bam and send him into a pout. Like the snake pit.

 

[Vulkan]

If Bam stumbles into a time warp do you think he inspired bigfoot?

I can imagine a amish fucker stumbling into his innawoods shack and thinking hes some sort of a dang ol wendigo or wildman

 

[New Bromantics]

I would put about 75% of my life savings down, Vegas odds, that Bam isn't going to go quietly and is going to suicide by cop in the woods. I just have that vague feeling in my gut.
Fingers crossed someone FOIA's the bodycam footage.