The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 102 4.5%
  • Rioley

    Votes: 277 12.3%
  • Penis

    Votes: 408 18.1%
  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 291 12.9%
  • Boner

    Votes: 294 13.0%
  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 671 29.7%
  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 701 31.0%
  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 262 11.6%
  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 200 8.9%
  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,122 49.7%
  • Kindness

    Votes: 650 28.8%
  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 306 13.6%

  • Total voters
    2,258
@Humbert Humbert you say you would film this for free- but really. You’d have to LIVE there, soaking up the miasma.
It brings me to a question I was musing over the other day- how much money would it take to have you sleep in the Tranch bed- Kevin and Co’s bed, and bedding; they aren’t in it, but it hasn’t been washed. It’s just as is.
One night.
I am going to say- as a person currently pretty fucking skint, who could really do with any extra coin, £1000.
I can only imagine what better off kiwis would say. I would do some faIrly questionable things for a pittance.. bu yeah. Cool grand for this.

We have had a similar question over licking the amhole, but really that is a bridge too far- one may as well postulate how much to take a tentacle up the arse from Ctuthulu.. totally incomprehensible, too unrealistic and horrifying a question to really even comprehend, let alone answer.
But to stay in the dirty bed..? A situation that maybe isn’t so far from other sketchy, sleeping in a gross squat, crusty party, punk scene of youth… but with the added edge.

I know my answer is shameful. But a grand don’t come for free
There is no way it would be possible to lie under the covers of that bed for more then then minute, maybe two.

You would instantly itch, from real or imaginary sources.

The Smell.

Zero degrees of separation from the Amhole. ZERO DEGREES OF SEPARATION.
 
@Humbert Humbert you say you would film this for free- but really. You’d have to LIVE there, soaking up the miasma.
It brings me to a question I was musing over the other day- how much money would it take to have you sleep in the Tranch bed- Kevin and Co’s bed, and bedding; they aren’t in it, but it hasn’t been washed. It’s just as is.
One night.
In this hypothetical scenario, are we allowed to smear a bit of camphor under our noses before settling in for the night? Also, will lice shampoo and/or antifungal cream be provided afterwards?

This would be somewhat counterproductive because you'd be legally required to provide a minimum standard of food and utilities. The Big Tranchers would essentially have reached nirvana, because they'd not have to worry about keeping themselves housed or fed and could just lounge about all day talking about trans girl magic or whathaveyou.

There'd still be interpersonal conflict, because of course there would be imploding polycules and arguments over who is more oppressed, but not on the same paranoid surreal level as the Tranch. I suppose you could engineer it so they only get one hour of internet time a day unless they do specific tasks, or have penalty levels for not engaging properly with the format (leading to eviction), but that would probably get the troons to close rank and unite against the transphobic producers who are trying to literally genocide them by rendering vulnerable trans women homeless (i.e. not just continuing to give them free housing and food). That drama would mostly be annoying rather than entertaining, although I suppose could serve as a useful anthropological record for historians in the future trying to understand what the fuck was going on in the early 21st century.
I think you vastly underestimate the ability of troons to manufacture drama out of thin air. Pretty sure it'd go like more or less like this, minus the presence of actual women:

 
@Humbert Humbert you say you would film this for free- but really. You’d have to LIVE there, soaking up the miasma.
Oh, I’m fully aware- And that would be fine, since I can’t really smell anything anyways.
I am going to say- as a person currently pretty fucking skint, who could really do with any extra coin, £1000.
I’m thinking for 50k I would do it.
No need for a huge production staff. Just one guy that will edit the videos and show the highlights. Heck, you can find people that will do that for free
so you don't even need to pay him.
Maybe also have some volunteer janny that will "talk to the people in the house about their plans and how things are going" for an hour every day or so. Maybe add superchats to the mix?

And then you just stream it, stream the raw footage from all the cameras to the "subscribers" (10$ per month for access).
The daily 30minute edit of the days highlight goes to twitch/youtube to lure in new subscribers.
I suppose that you could do it this way. I was thinking more along the lines of just having the camera crew there during the actual fallout instead of fish tank style streaming. We need them dramatic camera angles and moments where the camera person gets the tranchers onscreen alone to discuss their feelings and thoughts about events.
This would be somewhat counterproductive because you'd be legally required to provide a minimum standard of food and utilities.
I love that my stupid comment lead to a whole discussion envisioning this trancher reality show. I didn’t know this part, and it would create an issue, however it could be solved by having the producers get people to give them three meals a day at certain times, kind of like jail. They can go get more food at the store if they wish.
In this hypothetical scenario, are we allowed to smear a bit of camphor under our noses before settling in for the night? Also, will lice shampoo and/or antifungal cream be provided afterwards?
This is a good question. Could individuals sleep while wearing a facemask as well?
 
Do you think anybody at the film festival has seen this movie? What about done any cursory searching about the topic?
Watched it? Yeah. Searched? Maybe just a cursory google search to make sure the Tranch is real. The first page of google results still brings up all the journo puff pieces from 2021.

Although interestingly, someone on Wikipedia edited the Tranch article to put the lede in past tense. Still no mention of the Bonnie drama or anything related to it aside from the Tranchers being evicted.
Screenshot from 2023-04-27 08-47-07.png
Screenshot from 2023-04-27 08-47-21.png
So now google shows this in the info box on the side:
Screenshot from 2023-04-27 08-44-52.png

Anyway, the Tranch documentary is being shown during the "Rainbow Visions" part of the festival, which is specifically for "LGBTQ2S+" films. I seriously doubt any of these people will question why the documentary (most likely) neglects to cover the Tranch's controversies.
Screenshot from 2023-04-27 08-56-20.png
LMAO @ that 1946 film above. A nearly 2-hour runtime, and I guarantee they're going to spend almost all of it whining about Paul's use of the word arsenokoitēs ("a male who lies down with a male") and how bigoted modern Christians ""falsely"" translated this as homosexual.
And the filmmakers even have the gall to pretend they "discovered" this, as if it wasn't already an old & very tired argument. 🙄
Looks like Ash Coyote submitted the documentary here, but the embedded video isn't working for me: https://filmfreeway.com/WeAreTenacious
It also has an IMDb page: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt21334964/
 
There is no amount of money that would make me put my face on their unwashed, drool-filled, skinflake peppered pillows. Even if the skin diseases don't get me, what if something crawled into my ear? :cryblood:

yea, this would have to be more of a life or death situation for me to even consider doing it
 
Sorry if this is too off-topic, but what's the appeal of stuff like a $350 Sentinel statue? I just don't understand. After it's unboxed and set up, what then? Do you make memories with it? Stare at it and appreciate the worksmanship? Play with it? Pray to it? Talk to it? Use it as a visual aid for imagining new X-Men adventures? Show it off to other comic book fans?

I was a huge X-Men fan as a kid (read all original comics from the 60s through the 90s) but I just don't get the appeal of this "collectible" and others like it. Apologies for the puzzle-piece posting but I'm genuinely curious.
Couldn't this be said for any collector's collection? Stamps, toys, cards, etc...

Personally speaking, as a collector, it just makes me happy. Walking into my studio and seeing what I have gathered over the years. Statues or art of characters I have loved for decades, memories of shows or cons I got them out, using them as talking points with friends when they are hanging out. It's all silly at its core. Difference is I collect in moderation and work for the money I use to support my collection, Kevin doesn't.
 
Couldn't this be said for any collector's collection? Stamps, toys, cards, etc...
There's the begging/overspending/"no ethical consumption" loop, and The Tragedy of Mxtress Chewing Side, but the real indicator of pathology with Kevryn is that he buys toys mint in box, opens them without much fanfare, and then throws them haphazardly in a storage tub.

Mint in box autism, and "yay surrounded by toys" autism, both make sense on different ends of a spectrum. This is clearly shopping addiction; the nerd toy aspect is just a confusing factor to the autists here.
 
There's the begging/overspending/"no ethical consumption" loop, and The Tragedy of Mxtress Chewing Side, but the real indicator of pathology with Kevryn is that he buys toys mint in box, opens them without much fanfare, and then throws them haphazardly in a storage tub.

Mint in box autism, and "yay surrounded by toys" autism, both make sense on different ends of a spectrum. This is clearly shopping addiction; the nerd toy aspect is just a confusing factor to the autists here.

So what are you saying? That Kevvie is like a spoiled boy emperor?
 
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Reactions: Nanashi no kiwi
So what are you saying? That Kevvie is like a spoiled boy emperor?
In the crappiest, white trashiest way, I guess.

I just think the fact that it's nerd shit he's consooming is a distraction to non-nerds and also to certain nerds, who are eager to post that their Transformers are budgeted for and curated. Love you, nerds, and the useful background on Transformers you provide. We each bring our own expertise to the table.

If Kevvie were unwrapping a designer purse and then throwing it into a moldering pile of dog hair and cat pee, or unboxing a <GUN_ACCESSORY> and leaving it on the patio to rust, it would trigger different segments of the community instead. He's just managed to hit the plastic tat blind spot. Nobody in his demographic can call him out because they've posted photos of their shelf full of Funko Pops. It'd be as uncomfortable and as easy to turn into backlash as a two-beer drinker criticizing a blackout drunk.
 
In the crappiest, white trashiest way, I guess.

I just think the fact that it's nerd shit he's consooming is a distraction to non-nerds and also to certain nerds, who are eager to post that their Transformers are budgeted for and curated. Love you, nerds, and the useful background on Transformers you provide. We each bring our own expertise to the table.

If Kevvie were unwrapping a designer purse and then throwing it into a moldering pile of dog hair and cat pee, or unboxing a <GUN_ACCESSORY> and leaving it on the patio to rust, it would trigger different segments of the community instead. He's just managed to hit the plastic tat blind spot. Nobody in his demographic can call him out because they've posted photos of their shelf full of Funko Pops. It'd be as uncomfortable and as easy to turn into backlash as a two-beer drinker criticizing a blackout drunk.

I get what you are saying, but aren’t a significant number of Troons also overgrown boys?

Kevvie is like if the kid behind the “Goldbergs” trooned out.
And that kid is very archetypical of nerds who grew up in the 80s.
 
I get what you are saying, but aren’t a significant number of Troons also overgrown boys?
Yep, and they can't say boo about Kevvie's money-sink of multiple uninventoried Rubbermaid tubs of scratched-up and dusty Transformers, not with their six Transformers posed carefully on a shelf behind them.
 
Yep, and they can't say boo about Kevvie's money-sink of multiple uninventoried Rubbermaid tubs of scratched-up and dusty Transformers, not with their six Transformers posed carefully on a shelf behind them.

Ah, so you mean that even though he is thoughtless and careless with his nerd flex, it’s the sheer volume of his nerd flex which puts him above less successful grifter Troons?

In an odd way, he is the Elon Musk of his little niche?
 
Ah, so you mean that even though he is thoughtless and careless with his nerd flex, it’s the sheer volume of his nerd flex which puts him above less successful grifter Troons?
I can't tell if Kevvie's even consciously flexing, or if he is just taking photos because he takes photos. It's beyond parody that he can beg for cost of living money, and his alleged fiancée is living in physical misery that could be fixed with oral surgery, and then post pictures of the things he bought, unboxed, and immediately as-good-as discarded.

However, he can't be censured for that, because the specific things he conspicuously consumes are also purchased (in smaller amounts) by the other online troons.
 
I can't tell if Kevvie's even consciously flexing, or if he is just taking photos because he takes photos. It's beyond parody that he can beg for cost of living money, and his alleged fiancée is living in physical misery that could be fixed with oral surgery, and then post pictures of the things he bought, unboxed, and immediately as-good-as discarded.

However, he can't be censured for that, because the specific things he conspicuously consumes are also purchased (in smaller amounts) by the other online troons.
The thing is, hoarders and compulsive shoppers are addicts. They will live in tremendous physical discomfort, surrounded by piles of rotting stuff infested with vermin, and will still spend all their money buying more shit. If they fall in their hoard and break a bone or tendon, they'll just live with the pain, scavenge a cane, and carry on with exactly what they doing before. On the tv shot Hoarders, there was one episode where a woman compulsively acquired dolls, to the point her house was so crammed with dolls there was no where to sleep. At one point, her son visited her, slipped on the clutter, and damaged his spine to the point that he was put into a wheelchair for life... and she kept on collecting those fucking dolls. I was personally friends with a hoarder for a number of years; she was plagued by intensely painful reoccuring uterine problems and complained that the gynecology clinic she went to was not competent. I asked why she didn't just change to a different clinic, and she said that it was the only clinic that still bulk billed. In the meantime, she spent thousands and thousands of dollars a year on designer clothing and other horrendously expensive items that just accumulated and accumulated.

If Penny were to confront Kevin about his shopping addiction and compulsive hoarding, Penny would then be forced to confront the fact that he was an animal hoarder and abuser, and he's sure as hell not going to do that. So, Penny is just going to cope with the fact that he has a mouthful of rotting teeth, and everyone is going to keep on doing exactly what they're doing.
 
It turns out if you fly LAX>DCA you travel right over Westcliffe. Once I got my bearings via route 69, the former tranch was easy to spot. It looks like their neighbors west (to the right in this image) may also be intent on wreaking untold devastation over the land.

Former TUR as of April 27 2023 ~6 miles in the sky. (Facing south if you are having a hard time getting your bearings)


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