Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%
  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 18 1.3%
  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.5%
  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.7%
  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 3.2%
  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 18.7%
  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 194 14.1%
  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 782 56.7%

  • Total voters
    1,379
I'm meat free and the Beyond stuff is perfectly fine if you're 100% no meat; it's been long enough I can't tell if it's any better or worse than real meat.
So you're the dude in the chastity cage telling us that a girl touched your hand and it's been long enough that you can't tell if it's any better or worse than a real orgasm.

Thanks, I didn't want to hear about your fetish and your opinion is worthless anyway.
 
So you're the dude in the chastity cage telling us that a girl touched your hand and it's been long enough that you can't tell if it's any better or worse than a real orgasm.

Thanks, I didn't want to hear about your fetish and your opinion is worthless anyway.
Dude, calm down. You're Jack level mad over some fake meat.

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Stroked out retarded fat faggot can't even realize what a handsome man he could be just to grow it all out a la Ben Franklin
It never fails to amaze me how  smug this useless fat fuck is. Most cows have people feeling at least a little sympathy after such a life changing event, but this guy has just doubled down on being a miserable, whiny man baby. Mommywife needs to leave him in the car with the windows up.
 
Jr was never a youth minister; he was just a creep hanging out with kids and pretending to be one of them.
If it was just for the fact he was raised like an abused dog, one might have some pity. But the fact that he is a loud-mouthed shithead evaporates that pity.
Instead of being haunting like herzog, it's just cow things.
Of course he wasn't. But he was playing at becoming one. That was after he dropped out of college and stopped working for that AC installation company he grandfather set him up with. His excuse was he wanted to focus on his "ministry" and that included being a shitty Christian rap artist. His view was, at least I imagine, was he'd be a youth minister who would rap and tech the kids about Jesus and then ask the young boys back to his office for "special prayer service" which involved them both getting naked and wrestling for "The Lord".

Part of it is how similarly they're marketed and sold, it's quite easy to grab something that looks like the right product because you see it's cheaper, then get home and find out you bought the wrong thing.
That's what happened once. He bought some, what he thought, was shreddy cheese at Walmart and it was plant based because he's an idiot and can't read too good.

I had an impossible whopper when it first came out to see what the fuss was. It's a slightly meaty tasting soy burger, kind of tastes muted. But if I knew what shit went into it, I never would have had one.
I've made it a point to try these "alternative" fast food burgers and they all taste the same to me. They taste like overly processed, overly spiced cheap burgers. Have you ever had a cheap burger like you're at a fair, they're selling these things for $2.00 and figure "how bad can it be"? You try one and it's a burger but it doesn't taste like one. Or at least it doesn't taste like a good one. There's this... I don't know what flavor it is or what it's supposed to be but in every single one it's there. It just reminds me of a cheap burger. Something that has too much filler and not enough meat.

Meat substitutes should try to be their own thing, rather than try to be a 100% facsimile of meat.
The only time I can see this happening where you have a fake meat burger or whatever is when you're at a cookout, you don't eat meat but want to join in. Then break out the whatever burger. But if you're a vegan, vegetarian or just trying to cut back then you don't need these things.
 
I've made it a point to try these "alternative" fast food burgers and they all taste the same to me. They taste like overly processed, overly spiced cheap burgers. Have you ever had a cheap burger like you're at a fair, they're selling these things for $2.00 and figure "how bad can it be"? You try one and it's a burger but it doesn't taste like one. Or at least it doesn't taste like a good one. There's this... I don't know what flavor it is or what it's supposed to be but in every single one it's there. It just reminds me of a cheap burger. Something that has too much filler and not enough meat.
I've tried a couple, and they've been kinda close, but I've never been able to say they actually taste like a burger. They also tend to have a really weird aftertaste that's kinda gross.

Jackfruit(not to be confused with Fatty finally coming out of the closet) on the other hand in the right dish where you'd expect heavily seasoned shredded chicken is pretty good. Probably the best example of it I've had, would be some brazilian fried things called coxinha or something like that? If I hadn't known the ones I was eating were jackfruit in advance, probably could have fooled me entirely with it. No weird taste or texture, didn't taste like some overly processed bean curd that's going to give me gas later, etc. I've heard it can also work in place of pulled pork but I haven't tried it that way. Of course Fatty doesn't even know wtf "pol pork" is, basically thinks it's a cut of meat...
 
Shot, chaser. I don't know, doesn't look that crappy to me. Probably a hip neighborhood, and obvious parking in front.


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Mas Tacos is in East Nashville, in a neighborhood that’s been largely (though not totally) gentrified. A little 1930s bungalow in that neighborhood would set one back at least $500-600k, to start. There’s a little fried chicken and fish shop around the corner so Jack may encounter black people. I know this disturbs him.

There is limited parking out front, but most people just park on the residential side street and walk over.

PL: The food is absolutely delicious, the staff is great. If you’re ever in Nashville, do check them out.
 
It's absolute fucking trash and looks and tastes like deep fried pencil erasers. Holy Christ find something better to eat. Either seitan or tofu are vastly better.
Shit, I’d rather have tempeh instead of the bug paste patties. Since this all started with Jack bitching about vegan tacos, here’s a recipe that I’ve tried:
It makes some kick-ass vegan tacos, but you really need homemade tempeh for it, as store-bought products tend to be of lesser quality (especially in terms of texture).

UPDATE: I’ve used the last of @breadandcircuses’s famous sauce for dipping pizza crusts. It’s a pretty fucking good sauce, Jackoffs. Get on it.
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This is obviously propaganda, but it's the video that made me wary.
Honestly the arguments made in this video are massively retarded and go complete schizo. However, plant based meats are really made for people who want to turn vegan that still have temptations to eat meat and such.

It's certainly very sketchy, but let's remember that this discussion is being had because a fat stroked out gluttonous retard wants to shove 20 pounds of sausage down his throat and mad that the meatiest taco place didn't make the number 1 list on a clickbait article.
 
On Impossible borgls from fast food joints: They aren't actually vegetarian let alone vegan since they cook in the fats that leak out from the beef patties. The workers are not going to bother with actually cleaning the grill or cooking station since that shit wastes time, so it might not exactly be spot on due to this. It's similar to how bacon fat can skew flavor because it's so strong.

But yeah I did try one once, and my thoughts were they tasted like a cheap premade patty that was laced in soy oil or something, which isn't shocking.

Also that may be the saddest attempt by Jack yet to ree at people criticizing him. I guess he got insecure about being effectively bald again.
 
If you don’t know Jack was drinking an astronomical number of Bang energy drinks a day. Something like nine.
Nine? NINE?!? How? I remember back in my late 20s I made the mistake of drinking two Monsters in an hour. My heart felt like it was going to explode. Nine Bangs, how is this mf still alive?

On Impossible borgls from fast food joints: They aren't actually vegetarian let alone vegan since they cook in the fats that leak out from the beef patties. The workers are not going to bother with actually cleaning the grill or cooking station since that shit wastes time, so it might not exactly be spot on due to this. It's similar to how bacon fat can skew flavor because it's so strong.

But yeah I did try one once, and my thoughts were they tasted like a cheap premade patty that was laced in soy oil or something, which isn't shocking.

Also that may be the saddest attempt by Jack yet to ree at people criticizing him. I guess he got insecure about being effectively bald again.

I remember fuckwits trying to sue over that, to the point it was written on the wrapper. "No, we're not going to deep clean the grill for you defects"
I remember hearing about that. My initial thought is, "Do you really want to depend on a fast food restaurant to cater to your nutritional needs by serving you something healthy?" If I wanted to eat vegetables, I'd eat vegetables without the pretense of pretending it's a hamburger.
 
I don't know where you're buying fake meat, but it's usually way more expensive than the real stuff. And just kinda off-putting; I'm on Team Spicy Black Bean Burger, if you really want something not-meat that fits on a bun.
A giant portobello mushroom cap in soy and ginger and lightly salted and otherwise treated like a burger is superior to any fake beef bullshit.
 
I remember hearing about that. My initial thought is, "Do you really want to depend on a fast food restaurant to cater to your nutritional needs by serving you something healthy?" If I wanted to eat vegetables, I'd eat vegetables without the pretense of pretending it's a hamburger.
For the most part nobody except people with jack level intelligence is cutting out a major food group and cowering in fear of juices leaking out on their substitutes if they're just worried about health. It's for vegetarians who just refuse to eat meat.
 
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