Shane Edward Nokes / @NorrathReaver / Daddy Cum Cannon - Internet Tough Guy and “Retired Cybersecurity Expert” who worked with the US Secret Service and FBI – In reality, a perpetually unemployed leech on disability benefits who threatens people on the internet all day. Raped with a butterknife.

[AirdropShitposts]

Holy shit, he's had a "half dozen" failed bed assemblings of the same model bed from multiple retailers? And he's yelling at them on Twitter hoping they see his shit? Every time I think Shane can't hit a new low. I'm no longer considering his disability faked, as an anarchist I'm saying this guy needs government provided welfare.

 

[Spunt]

Fuck, a friend of mine has such a severe disability she needs a stick to walk and has braces on every limb most of the time and she still managed to assemble a more complex bed frame than that on her own. Shane is just a useless human catastrophe.

Note that his "partner" was equally useless, even though she is fit enough to have a job. It's like they're a couple of clueless human weebls.

 

[The Taco Santo!]

I'm shocked Shane isn't a 'stained mattress on the floor, no sheets' kinda guy, personally. Maybe the frame was a birthday or Christmas present.

 

[Associate Rick]

This is the fully assembled bed that Shame says is "incomplete." If you've never built one of these ready-made bedframes, there are 2 allen-key screws on each corner. Then, there is a sheet of planks which are strapped together which unfold onto that assembled frame. On these panks, in the center, are screw holes. There are peg legs which just hand-screw into these, to level the bed with the floor.

It's fully assembled. The only thing missing is setting the mattress on top.

It's missing the mattress, bedsheets, duvet, fluffed up pillows and goddamit they better tuck Shane in and read him a bedtime story, damn right the man wants a refund!

 

[A Sunset]

Fuck, a friend of mine has such a severe disability she needs a stick to walk and has braces on every limb most of the time and she still managed to assemble a more complex bed frame than that on her own. Shane is just a useless human catastrophe.

Note that his "partner" was equally useless, even though she is fit enough to have a job. It's like they're a couple of clueless human weebls.

I had neighbors with Down syndrome or something equivalent. It was to the point they needed special transportation. However, they bought and assembled all their own furniture, and I’m sure they did it without sperging out on Twitter. They also were employed and both worked regular jobs.

So Shame with his uWu “Cluster Headaches” can’t assemble a bed or work a job, but two people with actual mental disorders can. What a pathetic piggy he is.

For real, how retarded and useless do you have to be to not be able to assemble a bed. It looked fucking fine from the pics he posted. Fucking idiot.

 

[Sumptinsfuckey]

Rare footage of a young Shane Nokes talking about his real disabillity.

Shane's Disabillity

 

[Ethics Gradient]

A Master Hacker, yet assembling a bed is too complex a task.

Imagine the engineering required to build a structure that can support two deathfats in close proximity.

The mass concentration is like that at the core of stars.

 

[rusty shackleford 1]

I had neighbors with Down syndrome or something equivalent. It was to the point they needed special transportation. However, they bought and assembled all their own furniture, and I’m sure they did it without sperging out on Twitter. They also were employed and both worked regular jobs.

So Shame with his uWu “Cluster Headaches” can’t assemble a bed or work a job, but two people with actual mental disorders can. What a pathetic piggy he is.

For real, how retarded and useless do you have to be to not be able to assemble a bed. It looked fucking fine from the pics he posted. Fucking idiot.

I’m glad you mentioned this because it reminded me of a restaurant I worked at for a while that partnered with the local high school to hire on Down syndrome students. I saw a couple different kids in my time there. One fella was lower functioning, but we had a girl there who was absolutely clutch. She had hella work ethic, a sense of humor, she knew when and where she was needed and would always pick up whatever task was most urgent without needing much guidance, if any.

And then you have dipshit here who is incapable of purchasing, much less assembling his own bed. I hope for @Harry Hamburgers sake that she’s telling the truth about shame being a client. I can’t imagine a bigger turn off than a man who fails so bad at life that he must beg for a bed that he is incapable of assembling.

 

[AnOminous]

I can’t imagine a bigger turn off than a man who fails so bad at life that he must beg for a bed that he is incapable of assembling.

Even worse, he begs for a flophouse-tier bed, then defrauds the company he bought it from to get the money he begged for back, so he can keep it and spend it on retard toys and Mountain Dew. So if there's one thing he is good at, it's stealing. Of course, even Chris-Chan had little scams like that at local stores. He learned it from Barb, called it wheeling and dealing.

 

[Meat Target]

I had neighbors with Down syndrome or something equivalent. It was to the point they needed special transportation. However, they bought and assembled all their own furniture, and I’m sure they did it without sperging out on Twitter. They also were employed and both worked regular jobs.

https://youtu.be/KY3mBkRenAM

And he wore a hat/
And he had a job/
And he brought home the bacon/
So that/
No one knew

 

[Friendly Arbys Employee]

It's now been three days since "the technician" (some random chick on TaskRabbit) came by to verify that he did actually deserve the refund.
No tweets.
No mentions of bed drama.

How long after The Great Bed Heist is he going to wait before becoming active again, on his twitter that nobody reads?

He did come out of his shell twice yesterday, and replied to other tweets:

(Archive, Twitter)

Some furry weirdo posts some furry meme.

This is in response to a post Shame wrote during his victory dance, after finally defeating The Final Boss of The Internet: Kiwi Farms.

I dunno who Rhonda is and I don't care.
But Josh Moon has apparently been gaining rent-free real estate in Shane's mind.. probably the main competitor to Worm, at this point.
Which is extra pathetic. Shane has been talking a lot of shit on Josh, but I believe Josh spends less than 2 minutes a week even thinking of him.
What a sad existence.

Anyway, back to the furry meme..
I figured Shelly Nokes would support furries, but I guess he stands in solidarity with Travis Tritt on this issue, too.

Adament to defeat the furry incursion and restore the topic HE set on HIS thread, Shane reminds the invader that the ONLY permitted discourse ITT is hating Josh Moon. If you talk about literally anything else, you are automatically his bitch and simp.

Phew! It must be thrilling that Shane took back control of HIS thread, from those evil trolls.

Professional Internet Tough Guy with Decades of experience Shane Nokes was feeling better, but was still feeling small after narrowly being caught for stealing his pressed-sawdust bed.

"Hmmmm, I wonder what Sup3rHacker Jackie is up to...."

(Archive, Twitter)

Not Shit, that's what!
Just posting some nazi photoshops of her photoshopped face. #JustGNAAThings

So whatever, Jackie is retardadly sperging about how she is a victim of being a female gigahacker or something... Shame throws some credentials into the ring as well:

I don't have a clue what the fuck Shane is talking about, but it's okay: neither does he.
"Acktually, they did it wrong, I could erase all the evidence so much more betterer than him.
Also, no, I don't know what an encrypted hard drive is."

Shine on, Shane.

 

[A Sunset]

But Josh Moon has apparently been gaining rent-free real estate in Shane's mind.. probably the main competitor to Worm, at this point.

Oh fuck, he hates Josh. I havent’ been following him much lately, but for awhile he literally spent his day searching up anyone posting about Kiwi Farms and starting fights with them. He always calls Josh a Nazi Pedophile.

Sample mock tweet:
”Understood.

You’re simping for Josh Moon, a Nazi Pedophile, and his website of swatting murderers.

Go win a Darwin Award, you disingenuous sack of shit.”

Shame was so fucking excited when the Kiwi Farms went down for a bit. He was saying shit like “I warned Josh Moon who he was dealing with. He should have listened” like an anime villains. If anyone has those tweets around I’m sure we’d all have a good laugh at them.

I think it broke his heart and humiliated him when Josh got us back on Tor. So he has to take out his rage on the people delivering his bed.

 

[Simon]

Oh fuck, he hates Josh. I havent’ been following him much lately, but for awhile he literally spent his day searching up anyone posting about Kiwi Farms and starting fights with them. He always calls Josh a Nazi Pedophile.

Sample mock tweet:
”Understood.

You’re simping for Josh Moon, a Nazi Pedophile, and his website of swatting murderers.

Go win a Darwin Award, you disingenuous sack of shit.”

Shame was so fucking excited when the Kiwi Farms went down for a bit. He was saying shit like “I warned Josh Moon who he was dealing with. He should have listened” like an anime villains. If anyone has those tweets around I’m sure we’d all have a good laugh at them.

I think it broke his heart and humiliated him when Josh got us back on Tor. So he has to take out his rage on the people delivering his bed.

I'm glad all of these unemployed retards that orbit Fatrick Tomlinson are learning that KF will always prevail. Now, you'll know better than to proclaim victory so soon, Shame.

 

[AnOminous]

He was saying shit like “I warned Josh Moon who he was dealing with. He should have listened” like an anime villains.

Does null even know who this slobbering tard is? The real anime villain is Dong-Gone. Or actually he's more of a Batman villain. He even has a name like one: Brick-Face.

 

[internet friend]

Shane, just like your fat, we're not going away

 

[The Taco Santo!]

Think of us as the layers of fat encrusting your heart, wrapping you in a thick and loving embrace, Shane!

 

[Friendly Arbys Employee]

( Twitter , Archive )

Don't worry, Shane is still here.

Also, don't forget. Big day coming, this Friday, May 19th!

Are Wil Wheaton and The Boys going to make an appearance for this year's Birthday Bash???
It's the 5 year anniversary !
I'm excited for the festivities.
We all know "Billy Shatner" won't be there, and honestly, with how he disrespects Shane's Microsoftie "career," I'm happy for that.

 

[Dieter Laser]

And then you have dipshit here who is incapable of purchasing, much less assembling his own bed. I hope for @Harry Hamburgers sake that she’s telling the truth about shame being a client. I can’t imagine a bigger turn off than a man who fails so bad at life that he must beg for a bed that he is incapable of assembling.

I’m surprised ye olde prostitute didn’t help him assemble the workspace You’d expect those sort of people to be good with that task.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

People with Down Syndrome and lots of other similar mental handicaps aren't necessarily always incapable it just can take them a long time to figure stuff out and sometimes you have to figure out how exactly to show them how to do it so they can grasp it. From my experience they absolutely love it once they can figure out and do something. They're often good employees if you have lots of stuff for them they can do because they love doing it all when you ask. It makes sense when you think how they're "developmentally disabled" and kids go through that stage where they love helping with tasks because they like showing they're capable.

Shane, on the other hand, is apparently even more retarded and useless than retards.

 

[A Sunset]

( Twitter , Archive )

Don't worry, Shane is still here.

Also, don't forget. Big day coming, this Friday, May 19th!

I wonder if he’s ever gone into such detail about his life before, knowing that no one reads his tweets. This feels like messaging to the thread regulars. Also, I guarantee he never said “saga” before reading Kiwi Farms.

He also wants us to know it’s his birthday on Friday. That’s great, big guy. Post some content and entertain us, faggot.

Also - setting up a bed, setting up AC, and having a birthday in one week isn’t a lot. It’s a side note at the end of a work day. Imagine thinking that’s a lot. Good god, this nigga needs to be put to work in the mines at this point.