FEMINIST CONSCIENCE QUESTION
When feminist parenting feels pointless
The boys scuffle while the girls play nuclear family. Does education without gender stereotypes achieve anything at all?
Beate Hausbichler May 18, 2023, 10:00
First the children just let themselves wear anything, as long as it doesn't scratch or pinch. And then suddenly it's only allowed to be a dress for the daughters, and under no circumstances a pair of trousers, especially not in blue. And for sons only pants and dark colors - that's clear anyway. And this despite the fact that moms and dads have made an effort to convey to their children: All colors are there for everyone, dolls and diggers as well, of course. But all this is obviously of no use - the boys fight, while the girls play nuclear family. Users also say that it often seems to them that it "has" to be like that after a certain age.
Educator and author Susanne Mierau knows such stories from many parents. "According to neurobiologist Lise Eliot, there are indeed small differences between boys and girls in terms of cognitive abilities, school performance, motivation, emotions and relationship styles," but these are small compared to the influence of society. "At the age of four or five, many children begin to assign themselves more strongly to one gender," Mierau says. It's the age when children define their selves more: "What is my position in society? Who am I? And how do I transport that to the outside world?" All of that plays a big role for children at this age or in the transition between kindergarten and school, he says. "Paw Patrol" or princess. "The feeling of wanting to belong is an inner human drive," Mierau says. Studies even show that social exclusion can actually cause physical pain in people. Belonging to a group is therefore enormously important for children, he says. They also express this through "Paw Patrol" shirts or princess dresses. Gender stereotypes are often exaggerated by children of preschool age; according to Mierau, this is also related to how they are often portrayed in society.
There are also still too many stereotypical play activities, even in kindergarten. That's why it's important, she says, for children to be offered a variety of play activities and also to be involved in a wide range of areas in everyday life. "Boys can be involved in different care work in the family and girls in repairs," Mierau says.
A limiting perspective for children on their self-expression or potential interests is only one problem. Simply sitting back, saying, "Boys will just scuffle," is the other. Boys won't learn to deal with strong feelings like anger that way from the start, Mierau says. With girls, he says, there's more of a tendency to go the opposite way and teach them to suppress anger. Says Mierau, "It's very important to show boys that they can express themselves in other ways than fighting with each other and saying that's just normal for boys." The author understands that parents often feel at a loss in the face of strongly counter-gendered consumer products, such as martial figures for boys and unicorns for girls. That's why it's so important to get together to change the structures. At parents' evenings, they can exchange ideas and possibly discuss gender-sensitive materials for school or kindergarten. (Beate Hausbichler, 18.5.2023)
Source (DerStandard.at)
Beate Hausbichler May 18, 2023, 10:00
First the children just let themselves wear anything, as long as it doesn't scratch or pinch. And then suddenly it's only allowed to be a dress for the daughters, and under no circumstances a pair of trousers, especially not in blue. And for sons only pants and dark colors - that's clear anyway. And this despite the fact that moms and dads have made an effort to convey to their children: All colors are there for everyone, dolls and diggers as well, of course. But all this is obviously of no use - the boys fight, while the girls play nuclear family. Users also say that it often seems to them that it "has" to be like that after a certain age.
Educator and author Susanne Mierau knows such stories from many parents. "According to neurobiologist Lise Eliot, there are indeed small differences between boys and girls in terms of cognitive abilities, school performance, motivation, emotions and relationship styles," but these are small compared to the influence of society. "At the age of four or five, many children begin to assign themselves more strongly to one gender," Mierau says. It's the age when children define their selves more: "What is my position in society? Who am I? And how do I transport that to the outside world?" All of that plays a big role for children at this age or in the transition between kindergarten and school, he says. "Paw Patrol" or princess. "The feeling of wanting to belong is an inner human drive," Mierau says. Studies even show that social exclusion can actually cause physical pain in people. Belonging to a group is therefore enormously important for children, he says. They also express this through "Paw Patrol" shirts or princess dresses. Gender stereotypes are often exaggerated by children of preschool age; according to Mierau, this is also related to how they are often portrayed in society.
There are also still too many stereotypical play activities, even in kindergarten. That's why it's important, she says, for children to be offered a variety of play activities and also to be involved in a wide range of areas in everyday life. "Boys can be involved in different care work in the family and girls in repairs," Mierau says.
A limiting perspective for children on their self-expression or potential interests is only one problem. Simply sitting back, saying, "Boys will just scuffle," is the other. Boys won't learn to deal with strong feelings like anger that way from the start, Mierau says. With girls, he says, there's more of a tendency to go the opposite way and teach them to suppress anger. Says Mierau, "It's very important to show boys that they can express themselves in other ways than fighting with each other and saying that's just normal for boys." The author understands that parents often feel at a loss in the face of strongly counter-gendered consumer products, such as martial figures for boys and unicorns for girls. That's why it's so important to get together to change the structures. At parents' evenings, they can exchange ideas and possibly discuss gender-sensitive materials for school or kindergarten. (Beate Hausbichler, 18.5.2023)
Source (DerStandard.at)
