Corporate Cucks / Hustle Culture / LinkedIn Loonies - Corporate bootlickers and shills

The Worst part is the fact that people fall for it and lick the Shithead Corporate Overlord Pedophile Ballsack and are as proud as a rooster about it.

I've just started reading a book that was recommended by a Kiwi in another similar topic. Bullshit Jobs by David Graeber, it really from what I've read so far breaks down how people get this mentality of "Always be working and look happy while you're doing it" and how much of it is absolutely unnecessary and pointless. Even when people are aware they have a bullshit job they still go along with it and even add to the bullshit themselves knowingly.

It's all by design when the reality is in most cases there's not enough actual meaningful work in the avgerage week for the cubicle farm worker. So far it's a good read.
 
What I'm interested in is how that became the norm. It was blue collar workers who came out to strike in the 1800s for a 40 hour workweek. How did they go from "8 hours to work, 8 hours to rest and 8 hours to do as we please" to "break me in half like your baby and I'm batman".
A lot of the younger generation correctly intuit that the only people with real career stability are an increasingly shrinking class of c-suite executives who treat everyone else like numbers on a spreadsheet they can increase and decrease as needed. The younger linkedin lunatics don't really have a clear sense of how to reach the level of management they want to be at, and think they can get there by imitating this faux positive hustle culture nonsense that the management types spew. Those management types spew that shit because they're used to brown nosers treating them like every trivial thought they've had is some profound bit of wisdom. It's also very ego stroking to invent a mythology for yourself that attributes your success solely to a superhuman level of work ethic you possess and not-- for example-- on the fact that you made some very profitable social connections in school, or you're from a powerful family, or you happened to get in on the ground floor of an emerging market by happenstance.

It's also worth noting that all this quasi scientific inspirational shit is a real career path for a select few people. There's an entire corporate speaking circuit where companies pay thousands of dollars to let management hear from some former elite athlete or combat marine spew the same basic nonsense you see in these LinkedIn posts. Again, it's generally not enough to parrot the lingo and the vibe, to succeed in this career you need a backstory people care about. People will pay good money to hear "be a leader, not a boss" from some guy that got burned up by an IED in Iraq, but not so much from some 25 year old ex google employee mostly known for making tiktoks.
 
3x Episodes = 3x Consooooooming
To be fair I do that with racist podcasts while studying / working.

It's also worth noting that all this quasi scientific inspirational shit is a real career path for a select few people. There's an entire corporate speaking circuit where companies pay thousands of dollars to let management hear from some former elite athlete or combat marine spew the same basic nonsense you see in these LinkedIn posts. Again, it's generally not enough to parrot the lingo and the vibe, to succeed in this career you need a backstory people care about. People will pay good money to hear "be a leader, not a boss" from some guy that got burned up by an IED in Iraq, but not so much from some 25 year old ex google employee mostly known for making tiktoks.
Former Marines have three paths.

1) Sellout and become a politician / motivational speaking circuit.
2) Depression and suicide after realizing what you and your friends fought and died for wasn't worth it.
3) Racist Podcaster (See the Vandal Brothers and Jeremy Mackenzie "Raging Dissident")
 
Former Marines have three paths.

1) Sellout and become a politician / motivational speaking circuit.
2) Depression and suicide after realizing what you and your friends fought and died for wasn't worth it.
3) Racist Podcaster (See the Vandal Brothers and Jeremy Mackenzie "Raging Dissident")
Ain't no such thing as a "former" Marine, son. :smug:
 
Ain't no such thing as a "former" Marine, son. :smug:
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Preach brother
 
A reasonable person would just give up on their career if they were so pressed for time that they could only watch a 20 minute video if it was playing at triple speed and they were eating dinner at the same time.
It's not even pressed for time in every situation, sometimes it's just an attention span thing.
I wonder if he's using "productivity" as an excuse for having burned out his ability to watch anything for more than 20 minutes.

The younger linkedin lunatics don't really have a clear sense of how to reach the level of management they want to be at, and think they can get there by imitating this faux positive hustle culture nonsense that the management types spew.
 
Absolute lunacy
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fucking idiocracy irl

I once wanted to get a CS degree and go into the tech industry, but as time goes on I'm growing ever happier with manual labor. This shit unironically seems worse than work on a factory line; at least on the line you can't have your boss try to force you to take the work home with you.
is that so? What is the daily routine?

That reminds me of grade school when our teacher wouldn't let us go to recess until we picked up 5 pieces of trash off the ground. Except sometimes the floor was clean and I couldn't find any, so I just ripped up some paper and showed that off.
could not she have been more sensible? If it was clean, then good to go

they are adding -isms at the end of every word in a dictionary. :jacewtf:
 
I just saw this shit and everyday I'm closer to thinking that technology is more of a curse than a blessing. It's a post from r/antiwork but it appears to be real. (Archive)

A warning for anyone working at or thinking about working at JPMorgan Chase & Co.​

A warning for anyone working at or thinking about working at JPMorgan Chase & Co.

If you work at JPMorgan Chase & Co. or are thinking about working at JPMC, you need to know about their employee surveillance tool called WADU. WADU is an acronym for Workforce Activity Data Utility. Every employee at JPMC has a profile in the WADU database.

I think everyone expects their employer to track them to some extent. It is pretty standard practice for employers to monitor and run analysis on things like building badge swipes and the amount of time spent connected when working from home. It has also become very common place for employers to record audio and video at the office.

WADU is on a different level. It is an artificial intelligence & machine learning system for workforce human behavior. Starting at the moment you arrive to the building, WADU is tracking you using facial and speech recognition. Most JPMC offices and branches have been outfitted with some of the best HD AV security cameras.

Whenever you are at your desk, know that there is a HD camera tracking you the entire time. WADU uses the array of HD cameras at the office to monitor all of your non-verbal body language all throughout the day. The collected information is then fed into the AI/ML system and it is used to update your WADU profile in real time.

Every manager gets access to a dashboard that lists all the metrics about their subordinates. The productivity metrics about an employee start getting updated immediately after an employee logs into the system. If the employee is at the office, two bio-metrics are available, attention/focus and stress.

The bio-metric feeds are updated from the facial and behavioral tracking. Having a bad day? Stressed about something? WADU has already noticed this and alerted your manager. Can’t focus? Not working at your usual pace? WADU has already noticed this and alerted your manager. Did something you normally don’t do? It’s possible WADU flagged it as suspicious and alerted your manager.

WADU is also why they are pushing RTO or “return to office” so hard. Upper management does not care if some employees are more productive when they are working from home. They want everyone back in the office as much as possible so that their WADU profiles are being refined. Enhancing their insight into you is more important to them than better productivity from working from home.

A lot of teams are now required to come in two to three days per week. Director level and higher are required to come in four to five days per week. Upper management wants to see everyone at all levels back in the office five days a week. They have invested millions into the WADU system, and they want to get a return on that investment. That only happens whenever people are in the office as much as possible.

WADU is also watching and listening whenever you are working from home. If you installed Citrix Workplace on your own computer, and you permitted Citrix to access your web camera and microphone after login, you have connected those devices to WADU. If you are using an issued Chromebook, those permissions are already conveniently accepted for you.

You’ll notice that your web camera will flash right after login. This is not an “initial connection” flash. Your web camera just took a burst shot of pictures and sent them to WADU. The pictures will be scanned for anything deemed unprofessional or unsafe. Recreational drug paraphernalia, TVs, game consoles, and several other things are all flagged if detected in the pictures. If you see your web camera flash randomly, that was your manager or someone in security requesting a burst shot of pictures from your web camera.

You’ll also notice that your microphone will go hot shortly after login. Anything you say will be processed by WADU. All background noises will be processed by WADU. Say something bad about your boss or other superior? WADU flagged it. Say something bad about another co-worker? WADU flagged it. Have a moment of anger or frustration? WADU flagged it. These are just some examples, WADU is trained to detect a wide variety of keywords, phrases, and sound events. Your manager can also connect and listen to your audio feed live.

WADU is also able to detect keyboard pokers/bumpers and mouse jigglers/movers. It doesn’t matter if it is a completely external solution, WADU will be able to detect it by analyzing the repetitive input pattern. Your manager will be notified that your under suspicion of faking productivity. They will then connect to your session and see what is happening live. Action will be taken if the suspicion is confirmed.

WADU determines how productive you are by analyzing a variety of metrics about your session input. This includes words typed, mouse clicks, application activity, and many other things. The analysis also determines if someone is a unique contributor or if they are a regular worker. In overall rankings, unique contributors are always ranked higher than regular workers. The same analysis can also determine who is essentially dead weight. These people are ranked last.

You may have noticed at some point that you started getting job postings sent to your personal email. If you click on any of the links in these job list emails, your manager will get a notification on your WADU profile that you are actively looking for a new job. Even if it was just browsing, it can negatively affect the employee who clicked the link.

If you installed the JPMC workplace app on your phone, you have connected your phone to WADU. The workplace mobile app will collect a variety of information from your phone and use it to update and refine your WADU profile. Right now, the only way to reserve a desk at the office is to use the workplace app. The web version of the desk reservation system is still “coming soon” and you are pushed to install the app on your phone. It will probably still be “coming soon” in 2040.

Upper management pushes a narrative that all this surveillance is required to safeguard the firm against insider threats. While that may be partially true, the main reason is to train and refine the AI/ML system. They want every employee profile to be as accurate and as detailed as possible.

They say we are not supposed to use anything from an employee’s WADU profile to make employment decisions. It is kind of hard to ignore a ranked list of subordinates with productivity forecasting.

Here is how you can minimize the privacy invasion while working at JPMC:
  • Keep your web camera covered and microphone muted unless on a Zoom
  • Most modern laptops have multiple web cameras and microphones, make sure you are aware of all potential recording devices on your computer
  • Use your own desktop or laptop at home instead of an issued Chromebook
  • Do not grant Citrix Workplace access to your web camera or microphone
  • Use Zoom outside of Citrix when you are at home
  • Consider getting a phone and number solely for work purposes
  • Do not install the JPMC workplace app on your personal phone
  • If you need the workplace app, factory reset an old phone and install it on that
  • Know there are no blind spots, you are always on camera at the office
  • Know there is no privacy, all conversations are recorded everywhere at the office
  • Know all of your behavior at the office affects your WADU profile and ranking
  • It would be a good idea for you to print a copy of all performance reviews at home

And Business Insider also wrote an article about it: (Archive)
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A warning for anyone working at or thinking about working at JPMorgan Chase & Co.
Zero doubts in my mind that it's real. We have all the pieces necessary to make it, we already know China is using something very similar, and the cost to implement has come down enough that it's no longer prohibitively expensive for private enterprise.
Not only that, but with the advent of things like ChatGPT, you don't even need humans to do the data analysis. You don't need someone to be watching you, the system does it itself.
"No one is watching you."
Yeah, no human. It's big data collection and machines that catch the patterns. It also means if you get a spotlight on you in the future, they can look up your past activity because they've been keeping a log.
 
I just saw this shit and everyday I'm closer to thinking that technology is more of a curse than a blessing. It's a post from r/antiwork but it appears to be real. (Archive)
Uncle Ted gets proven right more and more by the day.
It's also very ego stroking to invent a mythology for yourself that attributes your success solely to a superhuman level of work ethic you possess and not-- for example-- on the fact that you made some very profitable social connections in school, or you're from a powerful family, or you happened to get in on the ground floor of an emerging market by happenstance.
A lot of it is this. They feel that they are part of a special club and would collapse instantly if they find out they’re just spinning their wheels. It’s not just that you echo the thoughts of a Harvard Business School grad, you actually have to be one. Liking HBS on LinkedIn does not count.
Those management types spew that shit because they're used to brown nosers treating them like every trivial thought they've had is some profound bit of wisdom.
To take it one step further, most of them don’t believe it themselves. The happyspeak executives spew gets written up by a corporate communications team, the executive reviews and puts a few personal touches on it, and they’re ready to go. They will espouse the benefits of positive thinking and then right afterwards slash payroll by 10% and those on the losing end have to pack up their shit and get out first thing the next morning. Not someone who exactly walks the talk. But it’s part of the job.

Hustle culture will insist that this is a blessing in disguise but now that I’m getting to be an oldfag, I know people whose careers peaked at 27 and have been “right sized” at the wrong place at the wrong time and now make far less money and work shittier jobs. Working hard only gets you so far, working smart in current year plus eight only gets you a little further. Connections are everything now and that’s something hustle culture never figures out until you’re middle age and not much further along than when you were 22. Real connections, not LinkedIn connections.
 
Hustle culture will insist that this is a blessing in disguise but now that I’m getting to be an oldfag, I know people whose careers peaked at 27 and have been “right sized” at the wrong place at the wrong time and now make far less money and work shittier jobs. Working hard only gets you so far, working smart in current year plus eight only gets you a little further. Connections are everything now and that’s something hustle culture never figures out until you’re middle age and not much further along than when you were 22. Real connections, not LinkedIn connections.
Peaked at 27? How? what kind of industry was it?
 
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The saddest thing is people will defend corporations taking notes from the PRC because it totally isn't muh gubmint doing it as if all these coporations aren't just extensions of the Frankenstein's monster that modern day Washington is.
 
Good thread.

The bullshit mentioned in the OP is insidiously seeping out of the US to the rest of the world (A Chinese guy I worked with for a while referred to it as "big company mentality", which I think is quite a good description)

HR departments are deserving of nothing but ridicule - at the place where I work HR managed to stay the same size through 3 rounds of retrenchment, one of which even affected essential workers (doctors and nurses in this case).

I once walked into the HR offices and the fuckers that had even bothered coming to work were all playing League of Legends on their work PCs (the CEO of the place also did this).

"Corporate Team building" is also a plague. Whoever claims that this has any purpose is fucking lying - it's basically a way for some upper-management types to funnel money to their friends at the expense of the employees.

I don't know if this is popular in the US, but (expensive) seminars, "roundtables", and "Masterclasses" with titles like "How to BECOME the boss" certainly are making it big here in Africa. Often the organisers know jack shit about the subject, but they give out certificates of attendance which retards attach to their CVs.

This shit isn't improving with time either, rather the opposite.
 
The bullshit mentioned in the OP is insidiously seeping out of the US to the rest of the world (A Chinese guy I worked with for a while referred to it as "big company mentality", which I think is quite a good description)
the US is not the only source of this

walmart for example started making its employees do the cringe walmart chant every day after the CEO came back from a trip to korea where he was super impressed by how much slavish devotion loyalty and dedication the workers there had for the corporations they worked for, this 'inspired' him to try and build similar 'corporate culture' in his own business in burgerland
 
The saddest thing is people will defend corporations taking notes from the PRC because it totally isn't muh gubmint doing it as if all these coporations aren't just extensions of the Frankenstein's monster that modern day Washington is.
It doesn't help that we live in a world where in social media, corporations act like human beings. Guys who run PR marketing campaigns for official social media accounts of big corporations for both Sonic the Hedgehog and Wendy's started this trend by the mid-2010s and every other company took notes. It might not be bad at first glance, but then the corporations will virtue signal on trendy left-wing politics just to pretend to act that they're good people despite that even good people do bad things.
 
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