Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

[biggacracka]

Jesus Christ, the stroke face is getting ridiculous. Most people either stay the same or get better after a stroke. Jack goes deeper into it.

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Why did he add a network bug to his video? Oh, it's an actual bug, and it's on all the videos now. Annoying.

He doesn't want anybody stealing his content. Seriously that's one of the reasons why bugs are added to videos. They're like watermarks on photos.

The problem is nobody in their right mind would want to copy this.

He bitches about TikTok then goes and has to try a recipe he saw on it.

What a faggot.

 

[toilet_rainbow]

View attachment 5131800
Jesus Christ, the stroke face is getting ridiculous. Most people either stay the same or get better after a stroke. Jack goes deeper into it.

Yikes. And to think he's not even sixty yet. Is the fifth {major) stroke going to be the one where his face is finally fully diagonal?

"you have to use your hands." But you can't only use either one Jack!

FTFY

 

[AnOminous]

Jesus Christ, the stroke face is getting ridiculous. Most people either stay the same or get better after a stroke. Jack goes deeper into it.

Most people who have a stroke take it seriously and do whatever they can not to have another. Not Jagoff tho. That dumb waterhead (literally) motherfucker has a stroke for breakfast every day.

 

[p1138]

He doesn't want anybody stealing his content. Seriously that's one of the reasons why bugs are added to videos. They're like watermarks on photos.

The problem is nobody in their right mind would want to copy this.


He bitches about TikTok then goes and has to try a recipe he saw on it.

What a faggot.

And it's such a stupid recipe that it's barely worth commenting on. Of course Fatty would disregard his hatred of tiktok for this, it's a pile of meat and baked fried cheese promptly dunked in fat before consuming. The reality is he probably discovered that tiktok has recipes using his favorite food groups, and so long as he can get his buttbuddy church friend to do the work for him, it's even lower effort content for his crappy channel.

 

[Helvítis Túristi]

For supposed chicken fries, they look more like chicken cheese nuggets. They could have used a blender to make it smooth and pipet it into French fry shapes with a pastry bag. I haven't eaten the Burger king chicken fries for more than a decade, but I don't remember them ever having cheese in them. Have they changed this or is this another one of those keto abominations?

 

[Falcon Sebben]

For supposed chicken fries, they look more like chicken cheese nuggets. They could have used a blender to make it smooth and pipet it into French fry shapes with a pastry bag. I haven't eaten the Burger king chicken fries for more than a decade, but I don't remember them ever having cheese in them. Have they changed this or is this another one of those keto abominations?

No he's just being a faggot.

Chicken fries, at least what I remember of them, were just spiced and rubbery chicken that had been battered and shaped into fry form. This is "chicken fries" in name only.

A much better way would have been to use real chicken instead of that canned stuff, cut them into "fingers". Marinate in some buttermilk for a couple hours, dredge them in a seasoned flour and then fry. At least that's how I'd do it.

 

[MS Paint Gigachad]

A much better way would have been to use real chicken instead of that canned stuff, cut them into "fingers". Marinate in some buttermilk for a couple hours, dredge them in a seasoned flour and then fry. At least that's how I'd do it.

I've never had chicken fries, but I'd always assumed they were basically long nuggets. But this is a good thought experiment: How would we do it?

Similar to you, I like the idea of taking whole chicken breasts (hell, maybe even the tender meat in the inner breast, whatever that's called (think it's called fillets but I cant be too sure)), slicing them into strips and then frying them.

But suppose you forced me to make them cheesy for whatever reason. I guess I'd take a strip of string cheese (not the best quality cheese but considering my competition is using shreddy cheese from the bag I'm not that bad right?) and then pipette some blended raw chicken/egg/flour(maybe) mixture around them before freezing and then frying that. It'd still look more like a fry than the oblong nuggets he came up with.

As above, if you forced me to use shreddy cheese from the bag id probably mix that into my proposed blended raw chicken/egg/flour mixture and pipe it out.

I haven't eaten the Burger king chicken fries for more than a decade, but I don't remember them ever having cheese in them. Have they changed this or is this another one of those keto abominations?

It'd still be keto without the cheese tbh. I'd think this is just him taking creative liberties

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Similar to you, I like the idea of taking whole chicken breasts (hell, maybe even the tender meat in the inner breast, whatever that's called (think it's called fillets but I cant be too sure)), slicing them into strips and then frying them.

Depending on where you're from they're either called the fillets or the tenders. And they don't stand up to precision cutting unless you have a super sharp knife. Personally I'd just cook them as they were.

But suppose you forced me to make them cheesy for whatever reason. I guess I'd take a strip of string cheese (not the best quality cheese but considering my competition is using shreddy cheese from the bag I'm not that bad right?) and then pipette some blended raw chicken/egg/flour(maybe) mixture around them before freezing and then frying that. It'd still look more like a fry than the oblong nuggets he came up with.

I'd go the route of adding something like a parmesan cheese to the flour / breading. Using any kind of real cheese and then deep frying can result in the cheese oozing out and ruining your oil. One way around that is to double coat your chicken but that works better if you do the egg wash then actual breading than the buttermilk version. Could be done though if you maybe stuck them in the fridge for a couple hours before re-coating them. Dunno how that would affect the texture though.

As above, if you forced me to use shreddy cheese from the bag id probably mix that into my proposed blended raw chicken/egg/flour mixture and pipe it out.

Then you'd probably be as close to the actual chicken fries that BK had / has. Dunno if they still sell those things. But they always had that overly processed texture that comes from chicken slurry molded into shapes. You know it's kinda rubbery and has a weird texture to it. If necessary instead of a blended chicken I'd use just ground chicken and try not to over work it.

 

[Kosher Salt]

hell, maybe even the tender meat in the inner breast, whatever that's called (think it's called fillets but I cant be too sure)

Tenderloins. Fillets are breasts sliced horizontally.

 

[Nitro!]

Archives from the last few pages. Medium quality, Tor/low-bandwidth friendly.

Spoiler: CWJ: Out of the Nursing Home Ribs

Original: Out of the Nursing Home Ribs

Spoiler: Fair use commentary

HOPE whines while Jack introduces his new suckerhelper friend. Jack complains about bones in his meat and his flap. The finished result doesn't look terrible, and Jack emphasizes that by sticking his phone camera into frame and cutting out his friend's commentary as much as possible.

Spoiler: JOTG: Best Philly Cheesesteak In Town

Original: Best Philly Cheesesteak In Town

Spoiler: Fair use commentary

Jack is looking B U S T E D while he fails to keep the camera steady, slurring incessantly. More motion sickness is afoot as he shoves the camera directly into the takeout basket. Final grade C, meat needed more uh... meat. Complains about "imported" bread. (???)

Spoiler: JOTG: Slim Chickens strawberry Fest

Original: Slim Chickens strawberry Fest

Spoiler: Fair use commentary

If I didn't know better I would say Jack finally fell off the wagon. Wobbling and slurring out of control. Instead of food commentary we first get a faceful of receipt and difficulty with numbers. Tammy is here, pointing out the wrap and salad. Dressing is gud. We get a few people glancing at the camera, looking annoyed. Jack finishes the video sporting his killer handicap space. Tammy concurs wrap is gud.

Spoiler: CWJ: Chicken Fries

Original: Chicken Fries

Spoiler: Fair use commentary

Jack tries out a TikTok recipe with his friend. Horrifyingly this includes canned chicken and two cups of cheese (Jack says he doesn't care if this goes over - the level of precision you've come to expect from CWJ). Yum! Jack continues to shove his Apple Watch into frame and add colorful commentary such as tips on how to pour shredded cheese and mix ingredients with a fork. Results look a little less than golden brown.

 

[ZipDisk]

I do not understand why so many of you are trying to "fix" this recipe. Jack simply stole it off tiktok, it is the same shit as the cheese and pickle bake video, and I believe he has even done this recipe with just cheese.

It's baked cheese. You just add different shit.

 

[MS Paint Gigachad]

I do not understand why so many of you are trying to "fix" this recipe. Jack simply stole it off tiktok, it is the same shit as the cheese and pickle bake video, and I believe he has even done this recipe with just cheese.

It's baked cheese. You just add different shit.

Baked cheese recipe stolen from tiktok. Hmmm. Reminds me of Twisted, but I see a fair number of other people doing similar, they're just 1 step above Jack in that they arent completely retarded but they all sound heavy and greasy. And so I refer to my previous post:

"professional foodies"
The problems I have with those guys:
1. Hypebeast ingredients like wagyu no ordinary home cook uses
2. They make their content based on whats trending, even if it's shit, or there's timeless old recipes that could be made, or basically the same as the timeless old recipe. Fucking "NPC" meme shit! Remember the 4 quadrant wrap trend? Tell me why a traditional burrito-style wrap is any worse!
3. People like Guga Foods who basically seem to do wacky stuff for the sake of views.
4. Constantly saying "this is the best X youll ever make". It's title inflation.
5. Appearances > all
There's probably a #6 and #7 that I can't think up right now.
We should make a thread on them in Community Watch. I'd be happy to collab.

And so I add #6: People like Twisted, who make half a hundred variations of GIANT CHEESY LOADED WHATEVER (they have a 136 video playlist of various iterations of that)

 

[Falcon Sebben]

I do not understand why so many of you are trying to "fix" this recipe. Jack simply stole it off tiktok, it is the same shit as the cheese and pickle bake video, and I believe he has even done this recipe with just cheese.

It's baked cheese. You just add different shit.

We're just bouncing ideas around to make a workable version of this. Jagoff doesn't care one way or the other so long as copious amounts of meat, cheese and grease go down his mouth to fill that empty part in his soul that never seems to get any better.

 

[MS Paint Gigachad]

We're just bouncing ideas around to make a workable version of this. Jagoff doesn't care one way or the other so long as copious amounts of meat, cheese and grease go down his mouth to fill that empty part in his soul that never seems to get any better.

Actually yeah. I'd just thought of something: the more you need to modify a shitty recipe to make it kinda alright the shittier the recipe is (the reverse is also true: less modifications = not so shitty).

 

[AnOminous]

We're just bouncing ideas around to make a workable version of this. Jagoff doesn't care one way or the other so long as copious amounts of meat, cheese and grease go down his mouth to fill that empty part in his soul that never seems to get any better.

Satan will fill that empty part of his soul. With FIRE! Fire is cool! (beavis laughing)

 

[Falcon Sebben]

Satan will fill that empty part of his soul. With FIRE! Fire is cool! (beavis laughing)

No. Satan will just force him to eat his culinary abominations for the rest of eternity but no matter how much he eats, his food is just dry, tasteless and that gnawing hunger in his belly never goes away. Meanwhile demons cavort just outside of his reach eating the most delicious smelling and tasting BBQ, pizza and birria tacos to taunt him.

While he embodies all 7 of the Deadly Sins, gluttony is his master.

 

[crinklefry]

New fat on the go, with him sounding increasingly worse as time goes on. But hey the fud is gud

 

[Goatchoker]

New fat on the go, with him sounding increasingly worse as time goes on. But hey the fud is gud

Jfc. How long will this go on for?!?
It’s gud.
I almost feel bad for Tammy. Almost. She could be filing the papers right now to just dump his ass in a home.

 

[beautiful person]

New fat on the go, with him sounding increasingly worse as time goes on. But hey the fud is gud

Archive:

Omg Jack sounds terrible.