phil has started the stream off with a nice thick beg. he needs those memberships, he really does.
phil is bragging that he got the master sword, as if he didn't throw an actual child tantrum for 10 minutes over possibly not getting it.
"from what i'm being told, at the end of the game, after you do all the dungeons, you get to fight ganon"
he fucking serious right now?
phil thinks "Kakariko village and the master sword" are easter eggs because they're from other Zelda games.
"i don't even know, realistically, how much more time i'm going to put into the game. i might just go right to the end."
he really wants this shit to be over with.
"this story is pretty well done, i must say"
then why do you keep screaming about it every chance you get?
"what if link was able to go through time and go to all the different versions of hyrule and by doing that he was able to meet with all the other links and they would all have their own expertise and play a part in the game, like, the wind waker link, toon link, would be able to navigate the seas! while ocarina of time could manipulate time, and link to the past link could have control over the bird! that's what i was thinking about a zelda game in the future. where all the different links come into play."
so phil wants a massive marvel movie cross over, except he has filled it with different versions of a character who are famous for never fucking talking. Also play relatively the same, they all get bows, they mostly get hookshots, etc etc. the biggest link variance is actually BotW link due to all the shit he can do. great idea phil.
"i think that would be cool. they're doing it with everything else, multiverse plot lines, why not do a multiverse zelda game?"
because it'd be dogshit? literally one of his suggestions was "what if link to the past link could summon a bird to teleport?" all the fucking links can teleport? OoT could, Majora's Mask could, BoTW link can, even Windwaker could, what the fuck dude.
phil said he wants to finish this game asap, so he has started this stream and is chasing the light dragon to grab some scales and is doing shrines.
phil is complaining he craves classic zelda and wishes they'd make smaller more classic zelda games. they did. links awakening, it was just in 2019, not that long ago.
phil gets detected during a stealth segment because he's being noisy as fuck and immediately screams that the game is badly designed. he has failed twice so far. he clearly does not remember the sound meter exists.
he has to hit an enemy who is far away from him and he needed stream chat to tell him to use his bow and arrow.
phil runs up to a gibbdo smacks it 6 times in a row, it does absolutely nothing, the Gibddo rears its hand back at 1 mile per hour, phill continues to stand there doing nothing, and the Gibdo smacks him across the face.
phil is talking about how he remembers in the first game you had to be careful and sneaky and hide in rooms and use items in BoTW, this is untrue to my memory, all you had to do was cross dress.
he has once AGAIN forgotten how to throw items. this is the third time phil has forgotten. go back and look at my previous posts, i've pointed this out before.
"how the fuck do i just throw the bomb? i hate this system, i really do. i just wanna throw the bomb"
now he's holding the control up to the camera and mashing to show how it's the games fault, some how.
phil finally figured out how to throw a bomb, he then threw it directly into the wall infront of him and killed himself.
"a single regular bomb took 11 hearts and insta killed me and it didn't even break the wall. this games mechanics suck. i'm sorry. THEY SUCK. they fucking suck. i don't care what anyone says. the game mechanics are terrible. you can't even do something easily in the game, it's like a chore to figure out a babys mechanic in a game in this game and then the bomb insta kills you? the bomb didn't insta kill you in any other zelda game ever before, not once did that happen. this game is absolutely ridiculous with the game mechanics. so i'm not even going to bother with it. it's really stupid."
man is too stupid to press two buttons at the same time, you hold the dedicated throw button, press the inventory button, select what you want to throw. very easy, can be done extremely quickly. too hard for phil.
"Tio says i criticize games based on my lack of knowledge on them. no, i criticize games backed on- based on my knowledge all of the fucking games i've played in the last 15 years. this games mechanics are incredibly cumbersome and incredibly unrefined." then he whines about having to press more than one button.
guess what phil? here's how many buttons you press to throw a bomb in BoTW/ToTK. Hold Throw > Select item > Release throw. That's 2 button presses and 1 release. Here's how you throw a bomb in every other zelda. Press one of the yellow buttons to equip bomb > press A to throw it. hey look at that, it's still 2 button presses, fucking weird, ain't it?
ironically it was more effort to throw things in the older zelda games, since you'd have to pause > equip bomb > use bomb > throw bomb, if you didn't have one already equipped. ToTK/BoTW just made it equip > throw for every time.
phil would legit rather have more easy steps instead of less steps with a more complex input. man would rather press the A button six times instead of having to press A twice and B once.
he has begun skipping through dialogue, only reading a few words per paragraph.
"so there were two optional chests in here. two optional chests in the dungeon"
one of the chests had a key you needed to get into the rest of the dungeon?
phil has also gone from earlier in the game, saying arrows are a dogshit reward, to being pretty happy about getting arrows.
"i'm now freezing? you gotta be kidding me, i'm freezing? during the day it's too hot and during the night it's too cold? this is ridiculous."
phil does not know how deserts work.
he is skipping dialogue to the point he is missing HIGHLIGHTED text. the NPC specifically says "try hitting all three dummies at once, but don't aim for the dummy in the middle, maybe try the rock" phil skips past the dialogue and tries to shoot the dummy in the middle twice, then gets confused why it's not working.
he is unable to figure out where next to go on the map, despite there being a giant glowing waypoint, he struggled for at least 45 seconds to find where.
"why is this game so god damn difficult? just select a fucking bow. jesus christ"
"dinraal scale? why are they calling it dinraal? it's zelda? why don't they just call it zelda's scale? they're being really weird. giving it a new name, like we're not supposed to know who it is."
it's the scale you got from the fire dragon you stupid retard?
phil is trying to bum rush the Gerudo town defense mission, by only shooting the Mushrooms and not the Gibddo, unfortunately the Mushrooms aren't vulnerable until they spawn more Gibbdo. so by skipping them he's just confusing himself.
phil has gone to two towers and moved them using a switch. he makes it to the third tower, doesn't go to the top, and is confused on what to do.
he is quitting the stream literally 1 minute from a boss fight. how suspicious. also he thinks he has "one more dungeon and then the end game dungeon left" this is not true. phil has one more dungeon, then another dungeon, then the final dungeon with Ganon.
i was going to say something else but i forgot and i'm busy today, so i will end it here.
